T.A.X….I Screw you You screw me
Photo By Bryan Birtles
My first fare was from the Ramada. Next to the Indy Race track. She was one of those women that liked to hang around the track watching all the guys strut their stuff without their shirts on. She was a hot chick. Tipped really well. After that nothing. Well I got a delivery from a continuing care center. Nutrient or something for older folks that can’t chew. When I got to the Nursing home the delivery turned sour. I went Voice to try to get the number of the center to call because there was no one who answered the door bell. I rang it a few times then realized that it was late enough to possibly be disturbing an older persons sleep. I went back to the car. Still no answer from dispatch. I got frustrated about five minutes into the wait. I called Barrel, I was put on hold for another four or five minutes. The Nutrient was sitting in front of the door next to the door bell. A call taker answered my call. I asked her what was going on. I interrogated her. I wanted her to tell me why the dispatch unit isn’t answering my voice requests, why I couldn’t hear them over the Radio. I wanted to know why I was put on hold for five minutes but I’m averaging six or seven calls a Night. I wanted her to answer. If I was up in that office I’d fucking know everything. No one there “knows” anything about the fact that money is non existent. She hung up on me. Two minutes later a Continuing care lady took the Nutrient in through the doors. I ran up to meet her. I’d been there for a long time. Right as I got through the door though I got a call from the dispatcher. He was pissed with me. Said I was hassling the call taker, he was right. The guy yelling at me was my favorite dispatcher. They fucked up tonight. Not the call taker. Tonight I had a ride along. A dude from the View Magazine. We more or less drove around trying to find a flag. They were non existent. The Indy wasn’t what it was panned out to be but there was definitely some cool shit. Unfortunately no one needed a taxi. I bitched about my Love for the taxi and how I was having trouble giving it up. I’m addicted you know. FUck! We found a few fares. Three I think and I made 60$ in those three hours. Last night was one of the busiest nights of the year and it died before it was born. What a bastard. We did have this one fare. A bunch of Quebecois. Crazy. They were with this chick. Well Nirvana started playing on the radio and we all had a crazy sing along. It was spectacular. I’ve kinda of given up hope of continuing driving, but like I said I’m addicted.
Happy to have had a few good Fares
The night was eventful. Not financially but it was a fantastic night. Warm and all that junk. I miss making a living. I can’t support myself as a cabby. I don’t make enough cash to pay rent anymore. I’m using my savings this month. There goes the Camera I’ve been saving for. Who cares? I can do anything I want with the equipment I got. The fares? oh yeah. Tonight I had this bitchy teacher. She teaches kindergarten kids in Hobbema. Hard core hey? She was mean, I liked her. You could tell she was a good teacher. There was a few guys who liked me so much they said “You should manage my brothers band, he lives in Calgary.” They were serious. I told them to give me a call. The drunk drivers were out in full force. One after another just cruising around not a cop in site to stop them. Oh I did see a bunch off EPS investigating a crash where a tiny car hit a Grey Hound. Everyone lived. I drove a band The Apresnos, they were the nicest kids I could have had in the Taxi. God bless you bastard musicians. I only say this because I also trapped a member of Ten Second Epic in the back of the cab. I locked him in and tried to close the window but the mother fucker was to strong and he clawed his way through the window. The only way I was able to stop him was through his stomach. I threw a box of Taquitos at him and by the time he was done we were at his house. Where he got out and announced to the world “it’s my twenty fifth birthday.” Getting a rock star at the end of a slow night is exhilarating. God Bless that animal. God Bless the world, man we need it.
Blow it bitch.
I work in an industry that involves sex. Yes Sex! Last night as I was dutifully making my awful rounds around the dead city of Edmonton I stumbled upon a group of two. They were a couple, the girl was wearing a bra and the guy looked like the average thug rig pig. The girls clothing was provocative but she looked kept. Like she wasn’t a street walker. She was actually very attractive. When they got in the car I mentioned how lucky I was to get the half naked woman. The guy wasn’t in the mood to chat he said “Sherwood Park, take Baseline!” and then the two started humping. Dry at first but it progressed into intercourse I’m pretty sure. I was trying to keep to myself even though the cab ride was gonna last at least 20minutes. The girl was already half naked when she got in. The two went at it hard, I just kept the music loud. At a certain point (Baseline and 17st) I believe the girl went down on the guy for a good skull fucking. Couldn’t see anything because of the shield but I could tell because of the repetitive knocking against the metal wall that stands between me and the fare. When we entered Sherwood Park I asked for a more specific address. I got no answer so I just kept going , until Sherwood Park ran out. Then the guy told me where to go. I asked “did you guys make a mess.” The girl said “we didn’t even do anything. Got a lighter?” I had matches. They both sat there and smoked. I made 60$ off that ride whatever they did in the back seat was worth it cause 60$ is a very good rate in these times. One of my last fares was this girl, 18. Young and dumb. About half way through the ride she realized I’m a cool guy and she doesn’t want to run on me but she has no money. She was going to party with some guys . I said “the guys will give you cash, you’re the only girl at the party right?” She said ” I am the only girl at the party, do you think they’ll give me cash.” I said “Yes.” I also thought to myself “you’re gonna have to suck some cock for it.” She was kind of that type of person. The type that ends up on the curb at the end of the night because she sucked the guys off to keep her at the party, not for the cash to go home. Harsh….
Fuckmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!Smash
The designer is ready to move the fuck on. Just get his shit together and eat lunch. La Shish did it. 118st and Jasper ave. Try it. I picked up a couple of people. Four fares. Two were Philipinos, Great fares. Chilling night, literally cold. Yeah the high light was Lebanese food, rice, chicken, humus, garlic dip, pitas Salad and HotPepers for a reasonable price. I treated myself, I shouldn’t have. The job isn’t letting me. I’m so broke ass. I did it to myself, I fell in love with Taxi. A dead beat job in a bunk economy, but fuck when times were good the machine could bring in the income. Nothing Glamorise, but it was a flexible job. You’re your own boss. I’m going back to school. School is awesome. I can’t wait. I wonder if it’s going to rejuvenate my appreciation of existence. I know it’s all about jumping through hoops. Like a dog. I hear the Fashion industry feels a lot like… Fashion photography would be cool. All you need is a massive flash. Life is good though, real nice, you know like when you can put your hand outside the window of you speeding car. The feeling of the wind through your finger wind running up your arm and onto your face and shoulders. Nice. Edmonton is great right now. God gave this city a little slap in the face with that storm. Yes sir, but the city is great, the trees ah. Music and all that shit. Nothing beats it. Oh other then the open highway. Who dosen’t love the highway.
Fuckmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!Smash
The designer is ready to move the fuck on. Just get his shit together and eat lunch. La Shish did it. 118st and Jasper ave. Try it. I picked up a couple of people. Four fares. Two were Philipinos, Great fares. Chilling night, literally cold. Yeah the high light was Lebanese food, rice, chicken, humus, garlic dip, pitas Salad and HotPepers for a reasonable price. I treated myself, I shouldn’t have. The job isn’t letting me. I’m so broke ass. I did it to myself, I fell in love with Taxi. A dead beat job in a bunk economy, but fuck when time are good the machine can bring in the income. Nothing Glamorise, but it was a flexible job. You’re your own boss. I’m going back to school. School is awesome. I can’t wait. I wonder if it’s going to rejuvenate my appreciation of existence. I know it’s all about jumping through hoops. Like a dog. I hear the Fashion industry feels a lot like… Fashion photography would be cool. All you need is a massive flash. Life is good though, real nice, you know like when you can put your hand outside the window of you speeding car. The feeling of the wind through your finger wind running up your arm and onto your face and shoulders. Nice. Edmonton is great right now. God gave this city a little slap in the face with that storm. Yes sir, but the city is great, the trees ah. Music and all that shit. Nothing beats it. Oh other then the open highway. Who dosen’t love the highway.
Baseball talk is cheap. lets talk Sex
Last night there was an incredible storm. A storm like I’ve never seen in Edmonton. Tornado style but without the tornado. Almost the entire city was blacked out. The whole east side was black. Creepy but cool. At a certain point during the storm the taxi was being pelted by hail so big I thought the widows were going to burst. The night was filled with spectacularly massive lightning bolts ripping through the air. Trees were smashing to the ground all over the place. No joke. Trees were breaking in half. Bus stops were thrown into the middle of the street. People were forced to seek cover, people managed to get into my taxi. I managed to make a few bucks last night. Nothing incredible but enough to at least pay rent for another week of taxi driving. Sonic 102.9 has been playing the 90′s weekend so all the music on the radio is awesome. I had a couple of dudes in my car that were ticketed for jay walking. They said “oil city was starting to get violent. We needed to move away from the chaos. So we crossed the road.” the guy told me that the female officers stole everything in his wallet while looking for his ID. The storm kinda screwed up one of my photo shoots. All of Whyte ave was blacked out for the whole night. Police were forced to control traffic. They were pretty good at it. They had their hands full with lutters. The night went by fast, I think it’s because I really like taking the photos. I had to go to a huge club in West ed. The place was big. The decor was very nice, but the patrons were snobs. Many of the boys in that club were jealous I was taking pictures of hot chicks. Next week is going to be good I think, there are so many fucking festivals going on. Oh and next Wednesday a reporter from View magazine is going to interview me. I can’t wait to speak my mind. Rock on kids.
Wardrobe provided by
Baseball talk is cheap. lets talk Sex
Last night there was an incredible storm. A storm like I’ve never seen in Edmonton. Tornado style but without the tornado. Almost the entire city was blacked out. The whole east side was black. Creepy but cool. At a certain point during the storm the taxi was being pelted by hail so big I thought the widows were going to burst. The night was filled with spectacularly massive lightning bolts ripping through the air. Trees were smashing to the ground all over the place. No joke. Trees were breaking in half. Bus stops were thrown into the middle of the street. People were forced to seek cover, people managed to get into my taxi. I managed to make a few bucks last night. Nothing incredible but enough to at least pay rent for another week of taxi driving. Sonic 102.9 has been playing the 90′s weekend so all the music on the radio is awesome. I had a couple of dudes in my car that were ticketed for jay walking. They said “oil city was starting to get violent. We needed to move away from the chaos. So we crossed the road.” the guy told me that the female officers stole everything in his wallet while looking for his ID. The storm kinda screwed up one of my photo shoots. All of Whyte ave was blacked out for the whole night. Police were forced to control traffic. They were pretty good at it. They had their hands full with lutters. The night went by fast, I think it’s because I really like taking the photos. I had to go to a huge club in West ed. The place was big. The decor was very nice, but the patrons were snobs. Many of the boys in that club were jealous I was taking pictures of hot chicks. Next week is going to be good I think, there are so many fucking festivals going on. Oh and next Wednesday a reporter from View magazine is going to interview me. I can’t wait to speak my mind. Rock on kids.
Wardrobe provided by
Mark. has hit his spot HARD
O.k guys I don’t have the job yet because the company hasn’t created the position. I wish I had the job. I need it. I made 105$ tonight. So thus far I’ve made 305$ since Wednesday. Meaning that I still have 65$ left to make before I break even. Remember I need 370$ just to rent the cab. So tomorrow if I make 100$ I’ll be up 30$ for myself. Making 30$ in four days of work is like being a slave. I might as well be unemployed. Last night I got a call to Riverbend. A very rich area. The house was so hard to find, when I found it no one was home. I called dispatch to bitch. The dispatcher said he just spoke with the girl and she accidentally gave the company her old address. I told the dispatcher to black list her. He told me to go pick her up at her new address. You know kids with money don’t care about much. They certainly didn’t care that wasting my time like that kept me from making a living. Nether did the dispatcher. No one cares. I witnessed drama tonight I don’t even want to talk about. It scared me and it wasted my time. None of the cabbies made any money last night. Who cares? Fuck I’m gonna eat shit and die. Poor. Oh but I did get to take some photos for a local bar. It rocked because I began to experiment with human subjects. Even though I don’t have the best equipment, I’m going to become the best photographer in the city. People are gonna pay me to do what I love. I just know it. I just fucking know it.
I might have a new job
So I went to see the boss about the deactivation of my account. The boss took a look at my file and said “your record is clean. No client has ever complained, but dispatch has asked me to tell you to stop telling them how you feel about their work” I went nuts. I couldn’t believe that I was called into the office because I speak my mind to the dispatchers. I tell them what’s going on on the streets. If I get a call to a public place I tell them that I won’t even try to get the person unless the call taker included the clients phone number. “No number then I’m not going” I say. The boss liked what I was saying. I told him bout the blog. I even mentioned the CBC bit I produced with Scott Fralik. The boss was happy to hear I was so passionate about the job. Then I told him about the speech and the Vehicle for hire commission. I told him about how I use my camera to protect myself. I told him about the cops and how they jerk off. I told him all this in a frenzy. I went to visit him yesterday morning. Right after I came back from the hospital. I told him about the girl I drove on Thursday morning. He had no idea about most of my issues. He had no Idea that the drivers at night can’s survive. He listened to me. Then he offered me a new position. A position that would let me use all my angry revenge talents. He told me that the company is trying to put eight more positions in the budget. He said “we want supervisors, we want someone like you.”
I might get fired
So what happened. Well as I tried to log onto the system in the taxi I got a message saying this ID is inactive. I thought for sure I wasn’t going to work. Right as I was going to drive my own car home the owner of the taxi pulled up. I told him “if I don’t work tonight, I won’t pay rent.” He called management and Bam! I was back. The night was empty. Rotten, slow, awful. I resent life on these recession streets. I’m broke. I have no money. I have been paying to drive a taxi. I work to work. My life is as of right now officially over. Well I love to drive so I keep it up. I kept it up until 3:30 am. that’s when I got a flag. My third fare of the night. As she got closer I saw the tears flowing down her face. She was scared, she was beaten, and as she sat down in the seat next to me I knew she had been raped. I asked “were you assaulted?” She just kept crying. She cried and cried. Her face was a mess. Tears, snot spite and pain were all I could see. She was raped. I’d seen this before. She kept saying it was her fault, she’s twenty five she should know better. I knew how she was going to react to my next question but I asked anyway “we going to the hospital?” She just put her head in her lap and cried harder. She said “take me home, I have money, please just take me home.” I said I would. On the way to her place I stopped and bought her a pack of smokes. She wanted to smoke. Even though I’m flat broke I took care of her. I wanted her to go to the hospital. She was raped. She insisted I drive her home. I knew from past experience that the police weren’t even an option. Victims in her position never want to be violated by pigs. Somehow I convinced her to go to the hospital. She said”I’ll go but come with me.” I promised her I would stay as long as she wanted me to stay. I sat in the waiting room with her. The nurses thought it was strange. We talked about our lives in that room. She calmed down in that room. She kept insisting there was nothing that could be done. I just stared at her. I knew this would make both of us feel better. The first time a girl got in my cab after being raped I fucked up I said “lets go to the police, lets get the predator.” She said “take me home.’ The police are intimidating the hospital is safe. When the special nurse came to preform the “Rape kit” I stepped out. The girl wanted me to stay in the waiting room. I stayed. Security thought that was strange, the guards even asked me to leave. I told them i promised her I’d stay, they said “It’s gonna take hours, you should go home.” I told them I was going to stay. When they finished the tests and stuff she was given pills and sent on her marry way. The police were not called. She decided that it wasn’t worth it. She was scared and I bet she felt guilty. Scary. There is a rapist sleeping in the Days Inn downtown drunk and ready to rape tomorrow. I hope he dies. After the hospital I took her to McDonald’s to get some liquid to swallow the pills. They were big. I bought her breakfast and drove her home. She gave me her number I gave her the blog URL. I hope we see each other again because we had a strange connection, and we both lived through some serious trauma together. I was scared too. I don’t want to drive cab anymore.
Staby staby
Tonight was crazy. While sitting outside the 711 on Stony plain road and 154st I watched a man jump over my hood. The man had just run across the street, he had been stabbed by a group of gang members that were hot on his trail. The victim ran into the 711. The gangsters followed him inside and stabbed him. On security camera I guess. I called 911 because as I watched the incident unfold the clerk in the 711 just kept cashing. Customers service is more important to the Filipino clerk then a man dying on his stores floor. As I talked to 911 I explained where the gangsters were going, I tried to give the dispatcher a description of the assailant but the guy on the other end of the line hung up on me. The cops showed up about 10minutes later. There were several women cops and I noticed lots of pettign and giggling betweent the the boy cops and the girl cops while they waited for the wounded mans ambulance. I don’t think female cops can do what a man can do. Just like I don’t think a women could drive a cab in Edmonton at night. There isin’t any women driving cab at night in Edmonton because it’s just something that a man should do. Jesus knows how dangerous these jobs are. I also had a young woman offer to smoke a joint with me. I said “no” but sure did appreciate the offer she paid me way to well. Here is a video about hating the corporate pig.
and here is the link to the photos I shot this weekend ClubZone
Bigger then it should be on me
Tonight was another photo night. I drove the taxi from 7pm till 9pm. In those two hours I made 20$. Jack shit. After that I drove myself down to Woolly Bullies. There I shot the party. UFC was on pay per view. Everyone in the city was interested in it. I don’t like watching the fights, it’s just not my thing. After that I proceeded to two other clubs, also to shot photos. It was great. As soon as I got back in my taxi I got a call from an old regular. She lives on the north side. I’m not sure why, but she gave me a tremendous tip. The type of tip you thank God for, but this girl is kind of a Satanist. Cool chick. She knows who she is and she know I owe her. Doing the photo shoots is risky. I might be loosing out on business. Well thanks to the huge tip I didn’t have to worry. Thank you Vicky you are a very awesome human being. Then I had a flag, this Mexican woman. I pulled over for her cause she was gorgeous and her husband looked alright. Well as soon as they got in they called over two other couples. I told them “No”. That’s just too many. the guys kept pressing. I said “No” then pointed at the ten cops standing around jerking off while watching the road. The three couples were saying “don’t worry they don’t care, we’ll give you an extra 20$.” I said “No.” Then they offered 40$ extra. I still said “no.” Then they offered an extra 60$ on top of the fare. I was seduced by the cash. I let all six in. The big tip was nice but it wasn’t enough to feed the family forever. I got the three couples home, it was a risk but it paid of. I got 100$ from the six people in the car. If I was caught doing that I would have lost my job. I don’t care anymore I need to take some risks to survive in this economy. The vehicle for hire commission can suck my dick. They don’t know about the blog. If they did they wouldn’t have the heart to read it anyway. They’re probably spending all the money they get from bribes, those asshole politicians. My last fare was a guy I think was gay. Maybe still in the closet. He told me about his old roommate. His roommate was 5.2ft, my fare said “I used to make fun of his tiny ass. Until one day he came out of the shower with this huge erection. His dick was massive. So big I wasn’t able to wrap my hand around it.” Then the fare showed me the size of his hand. The conversation started because the fare realized I was short. He said “you’re the smallest cabbie I’ve ever had.” I said “But I ain’t scared of shit.” Then he told me bout his old roommate and said “never underestimate someone who isn’t so tall cause you never know how big they really are.” I agreed.
It can’t always feel that way
Tonight was unreal!. You see I got a job photographing club goers. No not people going to the club in the taxi but people in the clubs. I was hired to go to a club and take pictures of the patrons. It’s a promotional thing. I hope I get paid. Well one of the club owners saw me and asked if I would come back tomorrow and photograph the UFC audience. We negotiated a deal 40pics for a bunch of cash and a bar tab. Score! I don’t drink. It’s funny how things are working out. I started my shift at 6pm last night. I drove 100Km before I was suppose to go to the bar and take pictures. Within that 100Km time frame I made 16$ + a 4$ tip. From 6pm till 10pm I made 20 bucks. Who cares! I’m a fucking professional photographer. I even used my G10 I can’t afford a SLR on my current income. If things continue the way they have I’m gonna kick ass. Photography! fuck imaging if I got to make films, man that would be sweet. See I figured out that I’m a storyteller. I was nervous last night but once I got into it people were approaching me to have their pictures taken. Like it mattered or something. A safe ride home is more important, but less fun. I’m lucky. The change in my earnings is forcing me to change. If I kept making money driving taxi I would stay a taxi driver. There is more to me then Taxi Talk. That’s something I almost forgot about driving around a dead end career. Taxi Talk is a good friend of mine but she needs tweaking. Change. It’s coming. Not just the blog, my life. I’m going back to school. I want a different story to tell. I just have to look at school as a taxi ride. I wonder……….What’s the back seat? I know, the other students maybe. What’s the road? Well that’s easy the God Damn curriculum. The teacher are the law enforcers, they have the potential to make or brake you. I’m just a bum who thinks he knows everything. A guy who knows he doesn’t but he thinks he does. My first fare after the photo session was a personal. As fate would have it he called me the moment I was passing him on Whyte Ave. He was a Hoolioes Bario. The weather had turned and the rain was falling heavily. He wanted to go to londonderry mall I told him that that’s where hookers go to buy crack. I was exaggerating. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen any body picking up hookers. Most people can’t afford the luxury. Crack! I haven’t really dealt with any in a while either. It’s the economy. Tightened everything up. It’s strangling some. I’m not letting that noose choke me but I can feel it. Fuck. That first fare, that guy that I so fatefully picked up, he gave me 60$. Thank God. It was one o clock and I able to pay for Gas. I drove on. I made some money last night. I had a girl try to fit through the window in the shield. She almost made it. I drove Shaun Bogner to and from the bar last night. Always a little bit of good luck out of that. Man tonight felt good.
Dersert Eagle dipped in chrome,
So tonight Kenny Chesney was in town. Probably the only country western mother fucker who decided to leave Calgary. The guy filled the Stadium. That’s so many fucking people. His concert was the only place to find people to drive. Most of the audience was from out of town because I drove almost everyone I picked up at that concert to a Hotel/Motel. One of the women in the back seat was a correctional officer at a federal prison for men. I asked her why she didn’t work with the women. She said “could you imagine a whole prison full of women PMSing at the same time.?” I said “No.” What’s up with women all getting their periods at the same time? Did you guys know that girls mature faster closer to the equator? Last night I had a fare to Sherwood park, one of the three dudes threw up on the car. I got lucky because one of the guys in the back seat had a garden hose at his house. He got to wash the old boat down. My last fare was a girl who works at lucky13. She told me that a Spanish looking girl did not want her to serve her drinks because she (the waitress) was white. How often do you hear about that? Reverse racism. It has happened to me. Some Punjabi guy harassed me for no apparent reason, I told him to get out. Yesterday I watched a movie about Def Leppard and I fell in love with the group. Come on, a one handed drummer. God I wish I was a rock star. I would act responsibly and buy aaaaa an army of soldiers to back me the fuck up. I drove a soldier tonight. Like always a fine young gentleman. He told me that before he gets to go to Afghanistan he is going to work the 2010 winter Olympics. He said “the government doesn’t want civilians to know that we’re out there because Canada is suppose to be known as a perfect place without any real violence.” He laughed out loud after saying that. He told me that Canadians aren’t just peace keepers anymore. He also told me that a soldier who doesn’t get to go to war is like a lawyer who has never seen the inside of a court room. Fuck I want a gun.
100-150mm of rain over the bulls boys the bulls
Sunday is my kinda day. It’s relaxed. My Saturday night was so stressful I was furious. I kept talking shit to the only thing that would listed to my rant, God! I was alone in the cab yelling at the almighty. Cursing, calling the big guy upstairs every name I could think of. I slammed a door on my chest last night, that wasn’t Gods fault neither was my bad night. So this Sunday morning I went to church. Not! Screw church for me driving the taxi is church. Tonight was slow. I think I had four fares and three were my own clients. One of the kids in the car tonight was drunk. He needed to take a leak, I stopped and waited for the guy to get out and pee. Well when he came back there was a stink. The mother fucked stepped in dog shit. The worst part was he couldn’t smell it. Fuck! I parked that stinky car and went home. What a night. It rained.
Smile like a doughnut cause that’s a good way to make a living
It was so dead last night that when I was asked by a fare to go to Beaumont I said to the group of young adults “I don’t want any cash up front, but if you guys rip me off my kid won’t eat.” They all laughed thinking I was joking. Then one of them said “dude you’re not Taliban, we’ll pay good just go.” I went. They were one of my only fares last night. I wonder if the guys that look like members of Al-Qaeda made any money tonight. I drove this girl just as the sun was setting. I took her down town. She said she was meeting a military guy. “He’s an old friend” she said, “he drinks a lot, but he’s a nice guy.” I told her to stay safe. So at three in the morning I get a call from her. She sounded funny, like she was scared. I told her I would go out of my way to pick her up at the bass. The military barracks are as far north as you can go. On the way there she sent me a text that she had no cash. I called her and asked “Are you OK?” She said “No.” I asked “are you safe?” She said “no.” I said “you can pay me back the cash I’ll be there in five minutes.” When I got there she was no longer answering her phone. I wonder if she was getting rapped. Over the phone she gave me the impression that her soldier buddy wasn’t such a nice guy. She never answered my calls when I got there. I hope something happened to her because that call wasted any chance I had at maybe making enough money to survive. So Kira I hope he did something to you. Cause you worked me, you probably lied to me and I wanted to help you. Next time you cry wolf I hope the monsters you hang out with give you what you deserve. The last fare I had that actually paid took me to Millwoods. One of the two guys in the back seat was east Indian. He was kinda in a weird mood. I took them to his place first. He wanted me to keep driving. He directed me to a tree with flowers hanging in it. He introduced me to his brother, a kid who was shot dead right at that spot. The east Indian dude was in a strange place so his buddy paid me and told me to go. He said (not the east Indian) “I’m gonna walk him home” you could tell they were friends. I left the two guys standing next to a tree looking up to the leftover pieces of the shrine. I wasn’t sure what to think other then RIP. Tonight was so bad. All I can say is that in the past 40 hours of work I brought home 200$. I am officially a crappy provider for my family and the corporate pig is definitely winning. If you are a part of the plastic world go fuck yourself in the face.
Lawyer, Lawyer pants on fire
Tonight one of my fares told me how he lost his virginity. He said “once when I was eighteen I was moping around a 711. Looking for some candy or something. When this chic came up to me and invited me over to her house. She was kinda scraggly but I went. Well we drank some beer and we fucked. That’s how I lost my virginity.” I looked at him and said “wow special.” He laughed and screamed “that’s not it, there is more!” he paused took a breath and spoke “I never told anyone this story, I didn’t want people to know that the first time I had sex was with a women who kicked me out right after because her boyfriend was on his way home. I was happy it all happened so fast.” I told him “I lost my virginity to my bosses daughter when I was twenty, her dad was also my principle. We both shared an interest in prescription anti depressants. The relationship did not last long.” Later I drove several groups of people high on X. Canada is a big producer of the shit. One of the biggest in the world. Fuck one thing I can honestly say about Canada is that it carries some serious and extreme drug cultures. One of the groups was a bunch of young women. The other was a group of adolescents crack dealers. The drug seemed to make both parties nice, polite, happy and pleasant people. The two fares combined made up half my income for last night. I gave every member of both those groups my telephone number. I need people to start taking my taxi and nothing beats a young kid on probation with a healthy income. Other than a group of girls who don’t think you’re creepy and understand that gratuity is welcome. They rock and they’re safe. I drove a lawyer last night, he told me “I’m a criminal lawyer, it’s a job that’s never boring, always challenging and often overwhelming.” He tipped me fourteen dollars and took off.
my speech
As Someone who drives a vehicle for hire I rely on the Vehicle for Hire Commission to make well educated and informed decisions. I rely on a line of communication that adds an air of transparency to the system that is Vehicles for hire. That allows me, the driver and you the counsel to understand each other so we can work in unison. A line of communication that helps the counsel define problems in the system and allows drivers to present their issues. A line of communication that, exposes bad drivers and flaws with the laws. A good line of communication helps bring not only drivers and the Government together but also the everyday Edmontonian. I love driving a taxi in Edmonton.
On the morning of April 11th I witnessed a Gypsy taxi steal my fare. I was in shock. I radioed dispatch to find out what I could do. I made sure to get the guys license plate number. Dispatch had no idea what to do. Dispatchers at my company are not trained to deal with these issues because my dispatcher told me to go to the police. I called the EPS thinking they might catch the guy and give him a ticket. All they did is give me the number to Shar Wellers office. I phoned immediately only to find a recording stating that Share was on Vacation and if I wanted to speak to someone about my taxi problem I could call 311. So the next day I did and was told to phone the vehicle for hire commission. I was thrown in a loop. And a man breaking the law was allowed to continue with no repercussions. I was in shock. Nine days later I got an email from Share apologizing about the delay. She informed me about the city of Edmontons Municipal Enforcement Officers and how they conduct roaming inspections of vehicles on a 24/7 basis and also do follow ups on complaints regarding taxi violations like gypsy cabs, from their office location. I wondered how they got their information about those issues. Since yellow cab had no Idea who to get a hold of in regards to the gypsy cabbies. Based on my experience yellow cab dosen’t communicate with the vehicle for hire commission and the bylaw office does not receive an accurate amount of complaints regarding the vehicles for hire. Why can’t I get a hold of these bylaw officers 24/7. A line of communication.
The 3$ sure charge is another issues that I think is causing some of my financial stresses. Since January business has been down. Fares are almost non existent. The recession is one of the causes for the problem. People are out of work. The problem with the the extra three dollar charge is that it seems to be a deterrent. Clientele that would have hopped into a taxi on their way home often decided to walk now because their 10$ fare looks more like a 15 dollar fare. In these tight economic times 5 bucks can make or break someones decision to take a taxi or drive home drunk. I believe the Vehicle for hire commission has over priced clients for too long causing a customer back lash. Could you guys please look into finding a suitable solution to this problem. Wait times are non exsistent, there is no need to entice drivers to come out at night. Get rid of the extra 3$ and make sure to inform the public.
Quality control, there has been many issues related to poor service in the vehicle for hire world here in Edmonton. Don’t get me wrong, we have excellent drivers and some incredibly good people out there. But there are complaints. Training seems to be one of the only ways to inform drivers how to behave with the clients. I believe there is more that can be done. Since organizations like yellow cab have nobody out on the roads paying attention to customer complaints and driver problems I think the vehicle for hire commission should implement rules that corporations like Yellow cab have a secret shopper programs and someone that enforces the rules. Stops illegal driving tactics and habits that have become common on the roads after midnight. Police are too busy looking after normal citizens breaking the law. Cab drivers with bad attitudes are not at the top of their agenda but they should be at the top the vehicle for hires commissions list of priorities. As a guy that works the night shift I am aware that taxi drivers have freedom. I am also aware that some of the drivers abuse that freedom. Whether we want to admit it or not, the city has some bad apples. Drivers that use the cars as a cover to sell drugs, alcohol. I’ve witnessed children driving around in their fathers car doing whatever they wanted. The city needs to step up and force the corporations to deal with these renegade drivers. Hopefully you guys can hire an organization that uses secret shoppers to evaluate drivers conduct and performance and report the findings directly to the city not the company that often protects inappropriate behavior.
Now safety, We have safety shields but is that enough. I don’t think so. To tell you the truth the people in my car are usually people who’s behavior I can predict to some degree. To me the real dangers of working in the taxi business are the other dangerous drivers. EPS has a Curb the danger program. I’ve used it on many occasions.I witness many awful things driving the night shift and I often feel the need to communicate the issues to the authorities but dispatch is not in direct contact with the police. I believe that there should be a direct line of communication with the taxi service’s and the police. We see more crime then most people can imagine. Most of it can be ignored, but there are times when you have to tell someone what you know. About a rape, or a very dangerous driver, or someone out to hurt another. The commission should look into creating a hot line for taxi drivers where they can leave tips through dispatch and feel safe. I’m not sure how but it could make the city much safer. The shields were not the worst choice I am safer.
As a driver behind the wheel of an Edmonton city hack I feel the need to inform the vehicle for hire commissions my problems, views and their solutions in my opinion. I believe I should have more access to bylaw officers and their services. I believe that the crisis behind the lack of drivers is over and the 3 dollar sure charge should be abolished. I believe that the citizens of Edmonton deserve taxis and drivers that have been put through a program that ensures quality control. I believe that as a driver I should have access to programs that can help me do the right thing with information that I have acquired through my job. A vehicle for hire is more then just a car that makes money, it should also be a person who wants to be a responsible and a trust worthy part of the community. Driving a taxi in Edmonton is an amazing job, let’s keep it that way.
I am a beer owned by the USA
To tell you guys the truth I’m pretty sure Canada burnt down a long time ago. We live in a shell of Canada. We live in the USA. Tonight was alright. No one was really wasted. I asked one guy “What do you do?” He looked at me and said “I give head.” That was more or less most of the conversation. I had a group of kids that had just been robbed. Robbed meaning they left their purses in some dudes truck and the guy took off. They offered me their shirts to get them to the closest 711 I drove them for free. I drove a web guy and a welder. Lots of police out tonight. Probably because a few years ago rich, spoiled, and ugly Edmontonians rioted. The reason, we’re a rich spoiled ugly and immature version of the United States of America. Whatever the fuck that means. Police presence helps business. It’s still slow, but the web guy said hes still making great cash. The welder, well he paid me 60$ to drive him around for an hour. “Thank God”. Really cool guy too, eccentric but not in that gay way, not that there is anything wrong with that. Traffic was unbelievable. People were everywhere. I wish I felt closer to the nation I grew up in but I don’t. I feel like Canada has made an effort to turn itself into a first class duchebag. Yes Canada, you. You are run by a Conservative Government that is run by clowns and puppets. Our once great social health care system is being picked apart by the pigs with money and the government. Our infrastructure is falling apart. Oh and we look, sound and feel like Us…….A. Get it. Try not to be pissed with me try to make this nation better, and lets be honest we should have celebrated our Independence in two more days.
out
Wow I’m Vacating for two weeks. I’m gonna be flying to the Okanagan in a couple days. I’m going out to shoot the Urban Underground Life’s been o.k now that driving taxi has become a very expensive habit, I mean hobby. Yeah it’s a hobby. Tonight was more of a scenic ride through the city dozens of times. I had these two couple mess around a bit. It was gay pride week. I drove several homosexuals this weekend. Nice people. The weather has been spectacular in the past few days. I love life. I can’t wait to board that plane. All I want to do is swing a golf club. I also wouldn’t mind playing the guitar while my sun dances all around me. My mom hooked up a mansion on the lake for a family reunion. Nothing like Canadas California, nothing like life on a lake. Fuck I’m hungry. Driving a taxi I can’t afford to eat but I sure can think I can. Mmmmm that’s some sweet oyster pie.
Tera…..Thank you
My job is to step on the gas. My job is to stop at the red. My job is to go on the green. My job is to smile and act like I’m not really unhappy or mean. My job is to drive. My job is to keep you alive. My Job is to steer clear of bad apples. My job is to clean the streets. My job is to stroke the bad guys ego, my job is to see what happens after you go home. My job is being alone. My job is fun. My Job is dumb. My job is to watch cops not do a good job. My job is to appreciate the police. My job is to love the government. My job is to trust God. My job is to watch the sun rise. My job is to reflect what the moon says and translate all her miserable lies. My job is to watch her cry then laugh. My job is what I do. My job is to be memorable. My job is to avoid collisions. My job is to make money. My job is to be a better man. My job is to make what I want out of life. My job is to get married and have children with my wife. My job is endless. My job is friendless. My job is to drive fast. My Job is to make ends meet. My job is like yours. My job is better then yours. My job is to pick you up. My job is to drop you off. My job is over, I’m gonna lay down and die. I drove a dude that travels the world as an expedition leader a summit climber. Interesting fellow Phill Michael. Just came back to Edmonton for a few days. Right after that I drove past a man being beaten with brass knuckles,while a gang of men chased down another man with belts. I tried to catch it on camera but the lighting sucked. The EPS is at it again, not preventing crime that is but that might be their job. One of my fares had me in the past. It just so happened that she flagged me down tonight during the bar rush. Fate. She was so happy it was me. That makes my job worthwhile. That’s the only part of my job that has recently given me a smile.
Tera…..Thank you
My job is to step on the gas. My job is to stop at the red. My job is to go on the green. My job is to smile and act like I’m not really unhappy or mean. My job is to drive. My job is to keep you alive. My Job is to steer clear of bad apples. My job is to clean the streets. My job is to stroke the bad guys ego, my job is to see what happens after you go home. My job is being alone. My job is fun. My Job is dumb. My job is to watch cops not do a good job. My job is to appreciate the police. My job is to love the government. My job is to trust God. My job is to watch the sun rise. My job is to reflect what the moon says and translate all her miserable lies. My job is to watch her cry then laugh. My job is what I do. My job is to be memorable. My job is to avoid collisions. My job is to make money. My job is to be a better man. My job is to make what I want out of life. My job is to get married and have children with my wife. My job is endless. My job is friendless. My job is to drive fast. My Job is to make ends meet. My job is like yours. My job is better then yours. My job is to pick you up. My job is to drop you off. My job is over, I’m gonna lay down and die. I drove a dude that travels the world as an expedition leader a summit climber. Interesting fellow Phill Michael. Just came back to Edmonton for a few days. Right after that I drove past a man being beaten with brass knuckles,while a gang of men chased down another man with belts. I tried to catch it on camera but the lighting sucked. The EPS is at it again, not preventing crime that is but that might be their job. One of my fares had me in the past. It just so happened that she flagged me down tonight during the bar rush. Fate. She was so happy it was me. That makes my job worthwhile. That’s the only part of my job that has recently given me a smile.
Sorry bout the Yard sale, hope it sells out
Jesus Mary and Joseph were a nice little family. I don’t think Joseph ever got the credit he deserved. Last night was hot, summer and sexy. Hard to explain but the city is getting randy. Kids want to get it on. I love watching nature take it’s course. I’m a fan of watching people dress up and go out on the town. I used to work in the airport behind security in a toy store. The thing about the airport that was so appealing was that the patrons were almost always well dressed. I kinda dress like a bum. I do it because it makes me look less like the guy a criminal should rob. There are all sorts of new fashion trends happening in 2009. One of the most prominent is the super fucking high heel. I’m talking so high most girls don’t have a chance in hell to look gracious in but they wear them anyway. I like the look it makes woman look kinda vulnerable hobbling around like some not so super super models. The sun has been coming out by the end of my shift now. One of my favorite perks of driving a taxi, the Sun. One of my fares last night was a 26 year old woman. She told me that when she was 19 she married a 50 year old man. She said “I like older men, they adore me. I’m the center of their universe. I like that, I need that.” I asked how the marriage is going she said “oh, we divorced a few months ago, the asshole was too controlling.” When I got her home she was out at least 10$ on the fare, I told her to give me a blow job. JOKING! No I said “don’t worry about it.” She took my name and number and promised to be one of those people who would pay me back. I wonder. Oh I also had an 18 year old fox, insurance broker tell me she drives a Subaru Impreza. She said “I would never drink and drive with my baby.” I wouldn’t either but for some reason my 26 year old ass has been stuck cruizin in a Mazda 323 from the early 90′s or a Crown Vic ex cop car. I wish I had a WRX to pick people up with. That would give me an edge and some serious style.
I wrote about you so you are the title "Woo"
Fuck me, if you guys don’t want to hear about the economy. Edmonton has been hit with some tough mother fucking times. Today I had some great clients. Yeah like 4 people. They were all really nice. One guy insisted I smoke some pot with him in his incredible steam room. He lived in Riverbend. He was also recovering from cancer. Guess what kind? That’s right he lost his testicle. Just one but that’s enough to ensure that you truly feel a lose. He was a great person though and I hope that cancer never comes back in his life or anybody elses. There was also this guy who was with this girl. He was all over her. She was hot. She worked for him, she was his rep. He was a sales man and she was the body that sold the stuff. Well anyway the two were getting “it” on in the car but when we arrived the woman said “you can’t come in.” He tried and tried to convince her that the best thing to do was to have sex but she wasn’t having it. When he came back into the taxi David Bowies the Man Who Sold the World was playing on the radio. He explained the situation to me. He said “she has a dude that’s in Turkey probably having sex with some other chicks. She’s here but she won’t fuck me cause she actually cares about him.” The he said “I have a girlfriend too, I’ve been with her for eight years.” Then I asked “am I taking you there right now? Your girlfriends?” He said “yes.” All I could think was how does a guy do that. Screw around behind his womans back then just go home to her. Fuck. Oh you guys I read the speech. Spectacular, that people in the Vehicle for Hire Commissions had to listen. I also had a reporter from VUE magazine cover the story. I’m hoping he saw and heard something that would be worth publishing.
You looked like the asshole from Bush X
The worst part about the recession isn’t the cash flow. It’s the lack of good stories. Now that no one goes out nothing interesting is happening. At least not on a regular basis. Things are slow as fuck. The one topic that comes up is the new shield. Some people like it. They think I’m safer. I don’t feel any safer. My only real danger I think is drunk drivers and the law isn’t stopping them. It’s cut throat out there. I’ve been in several fights over placement in a line up at a club. Tonight some fuck said that he was in line waiting to park where I was parked. He pointed to where he was parked and said “What’s going on, this is my spot.” I looked over to where he was pointing and said ‘ you were parked in front of another club, that’s not the line, I’m sorry buddy but I ain’t movin.” He drove away angry. Then double parked in front of another taxi. Anger is everywhere. Money seems to be in the hands of the rich. I don’t trust money or people with it. I cater to them, but people with lots of money seem crooked . Bad. Sorry bout no post last night, I went to the Rise against concert which was out of this world because I actually really went to see Rancid. Fucking Punks, they should stay in California where it’s warm. I’m joking back off.
You looked like the asshole from Bush X
The worst part about the recession isn’t the cash flow. It’s the lack of good stories. Now that no one goes out nothing interesting is happening. At least not on a regular basis. Things are slow as fuck. The one topic that comes up is the new shield. Some people like it. They think I’m safer. I don’t feel any safer. My only real danger I think is drunk drivers and the law isn’t stopping them. It’s cut throat out there. I’ve been in several fights over placement in a line up at a club. Tonight some fuck said that he was in line waiting to park where I was parked. He pointed to where he was parked and said “What’s going on, this is my spot.” I looked over to where he was pointing and said ‘ you were parked in front of another club, that’s not the line, I’m sorry buddy but I ain’t movin.” He drove away angry. Then double parked in front of another taxi. Anger is everywhere. Money seems to be in the hands of the rich. I don’t trust money or people with it. I cater to them, but people with lots of money seem crooked . Bad. Sorry bout no post last night, I went to the Rise against concert which was out of this world because I actually really went to see Rancid. Fucking Punks, they should stay in California where it’s warm. I’m joking back off.
4:19am. I am so alone
The cage makes me feel more alone. The protection achieved by the plastic shield damages the communication. Really the shield tries to deny “talk”. The transaction is forced to focus on Location and cost,”Taxi.” I can’t hear what’s happening back there. People sit in front. I don’t mind that. I like it. I always did. Tonight I was waiting for the light on 156st south bound to turn green. I wanted to turn west onto Stony Plain Rd. This thug. Tweaked out. Skin, bones and bling wanted in. I told him I wasn’t giving him a ride. It’s slow. I realized that I could have thrown him in the back. Sealed him up in that box. No go. There was this guy, I picked em up next to New City. He asked “can you take me to the west end?” “Damn right! Get in” I said while waving him into the front seat. This was a normal dude. We talked about his shitty night. He was sad. His girlfriend ditched him with his cousin. The two took of to whore around for drugs. He was stuck getting home. Half way there he looked up and said “I only got 8$.” The fare was running at around 14$ at the time. I laughed and said “don’t worry you’ll get home.” I was happy he told me the truth. I gave him the URL to the blog, The fucking blog. Lots of drunks hitting the streets. Driving, biking, skatin DRUNK. Even though its really cold, good on you people. I drove this woman she just dropped a dude off. She was a designated driver. She was a professional. Wanna Go Home With Us , sounds dirty right?
4:19am. I am so alone
The cage makes me feel more alone. The protection achieved by the plastic shield damages the communication. Really the shield tries to deny “talk”. The transaction is forced to focus on Location and cost,”Taxi.” I can’t hear what’s happening back there. People sit in front. I don’t mind that. I like it. I always did. Tonight I was waiting for the light on 156st south bound to turn green. I wanted to turn west onto Stony Plain Rd. This thug. Tweaked out. Skin, bones and bling wanted in. I told him I wasn’t giving him a ride. It’s slow. I realized that I could have thrown him in the back. Sealed him up in that box. No go. There was this guy, I picked em up next to New City. He asked “can you take me to the west end?” “Damn right! Get in” I said while waving him into the front seat. This was a normal dude. We talked about his shitty night. He was sad. His girlfriend ditched him with his cousin. The two took of to whore around for drugs. He was stuck getting home. Half way there he looked up and said “I only got 8$.” The fare was running at around 14$ at the time. I laughed and said “don’t worry you’ll get home.” I was happy he told me the truth. I gave him the URL to the blog, The fucking blog. Lots of drunks hitting the streets. Driving, biking, skatin DRUNK. Even though its really cold, good on you people. I drove this woman she just dropped a dude off. She was a designated driver. She was a professional. Wanna Go Home With Us , sounds dirty right?
Is it hamma time already? Get the axe baby
I drove a girl who told me that Alberta is going to loose it’s social health care program. She said “It’s stupid conservative Alberta.” I agreed. She was a communist and she worked for our sellout government. Our Government is a whore. Not much else happened. Relaxed night. No one acted bad behind my bullet proof shield. I did have a call to an address that I ditched once. The guy took to long so I drove off. Well tonight as I drove up to the apartment building I realized that it was the same address. I was hesitant but I called them to say “I’m here, like it or not I’m here.” The guy remembered my phone number. He was upset with me but still thought I was one of the best cabbies in the city. I felt bad for ditching him a few weeks ago. He called the company not me so the level of service though unmatched by any other Edmonton cabby was not what he would have had had he phoned me directly. I treat my customers like royalty. Why? because they chose me over the corporate pig. Fuck you people, is there any other job as interesting, exciting and fast as taxi. Yes, the army but not law enforcement that’s for dirty rats that allow intoxicated drivers to exist. Imagine being a rookie cop…….I was going to be mean but who the fuck am I to judge. Imagine having a gun to shoot. Peoples wallets are squeezing tighter and tighter.BANG
Is it hamma time already? Get the axe baby
I drove a girl who told me that Alberta is going to loose it’s social health care program. She said “It’s stupid conservative Alberta.” I agreed. She was a communist and she worked for our sellout government. Our Government is a whore. Not much else happened. Relaxed night. No one acted bad behind my bullet proof shield. I did have a call to an address that I ditched once. The guy took to long so I drove off. Well tonight as I drove up to the apartment building I realized that it was the same address. I was hesitant but I called them to say “I’m here, like it or not I’m here.” The guy remembered my phone number. He was upset with me but still thought I was one of the best cabbies in the city. I felt bad for ditching him a few weeks ago. He called the company not me so the level of service though unmatched by any other Edmonton cabby was not what he would have had had he phoned me directly. I treat my customers like royalty. Why? because they chose me over the corporate pig. Fuck you people, is there any other job as interesting, exciting and fast as taxi. Yes, the army but not law enforcement that’s for dirty rats that allow intoxicated drivers to exist. Imagine being a rookie cop…….I was going to be mean but who the fuck am I to judge. Imagine having a gun to shoot. Peoples wallets are squeezing tighter and tighter.BANG
Pump It up we are going to Mars
Patience? Tonight I was trying to discipline myself. It’s slow right so you got to pick your club and sit there. I did I waited. At the Funky Booda. I was the first in line, I just sat there for a long time. Over an hour I think. I’ve never done that. Sat in front of a club forever. Patience is not really my thing, but I was trying to be diligent. I knew I was going to get a fare. When it finally happened the couple told me that they were just going up the street. I told them how long I was waiting. They both knew they saw me while out on their smoke breaks. They ended up going down town and tipping me ten bucks. The trip was worth it but I was expecting a bigger pay-out out of the trip due to the patience factor. Not a financial pay out an inspirational one. They were a couple in the grips of lust and passion. They were on their way to have sex. Whatever. Right as I was leaving their parking lot I got a call. The first call of the night. 112ave east side of 75st. North side. The woman gets in. Drunk. “Where we going?” I ask. She looks at me and says “the river, by those stairs.” Then I asked with a confused look on my face “the river? Downtown? Where?” I could tell by the way she was looking at me this was going to be a strange ride. She was wearing a shirt, you could clearly see through. ” Got money?” I asked.” “I’ll pay you tomorrow” she told me. I asked her where she was going. She said “lets fuck” then she got real close to me with her chest. She tried caressing my chest but got a fist full of the G10. The lady was all over me, I said “I’m not going to be with you.” “DO you have a wife?” she asked I said “yes.” She said ” I won’t tell.” This was pretty intense. All I could think about was that wait outside the Funky Booda. Patience. This woman was pure evil instinct sex cumming at me like a title wave. Scary what goes through a guys head. She used the dirtiest words she was bad news. I told her “get out, I can’t do that.” She reluctantly stepped out of the taxi. “Come over when you’re ready, I got weed and beer.” That woman tried to seduce me. Why? I have no idea. The way she wanted to go to the river. What the fuck did that mean? Patience. Was it worth it? I learned a lesson tonight. Sometimes when you listen to that little voice in the back of your head. The one that says “be patient wait” even though that other voice is screaming ” GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.” You wait and wait until you get your fare share. If you really listen to that little voice that voice that almost doesn’t exist you get more then your fare share. You are given the ability watch that instinct that animal in you and everyone else. It’s a lion. If you really are patient enough to listen to that voice then when the demon throws itself at you you know what to do. I felt tested last night. I followed that voice around and it threw me to the wolves. I dealt with it. I passed the test.
Pump It up we are going to Mars
Patience? Tonight I was trying to discipline myself. It’s slow right so you got to pick your club and sit there. I did I waited. At the Funky Booda. I was the first in line, I just sat there for a long time. Over an hour I think. I’ve never done that. Sat in front of a club forever. Patience is not really my thing, but I was trying to be diligent. I knew I was going to get a fare. When it finally happened the couple told me that they were just going up the street. I told them how long I was waiting. They both knew they saw me while out on their smoke breaks. They ended up going down town and tipping me ten bucks. The trip was worth it but I was expecting a bigger pay-out out of the trip due to the patience factor. Not a financial pay out an inspirational one. They were a couple in the grips of lust and passion. They were on their way to have sex. Whatever. Right as I was leaving their parking lot I got a call. The first call of the night. 112ave east side of 75st. North side. The woman gets in. Drunk. “Where we going?” I ask. She looks at me and says “the river, by those stairs.” Then I asked with a confused look on my face “the river? Downtown? Where?” I could tell by the way she was looking at me this was going to be a strange ride. She was wearing a shirt, you could clearly see through. ” Got money?” I asked.” “I’ll pay you tomorrow” she told me. I asked her where she was going. She said “lets fuck” then she got real close to me with her chest. She tried caressing my chest but got a fist full of the G10. The lady was all over me, I said “I’m not going to be with you.” “DO you have a wife?” she asked I said “yes.” She said ” I won’t tell.” This was pretty intense. All I could think about was that wait outside the Funky Booda. Patience. This woman was pure evil instinct sex cumming at me like a title wave. Scary what goes through a guys head. She used the dirtiest words she was bad news. I told her “get out, I can’t do that.” She reluctantly stepped out of the taxi. “Come over when you’re ready, I got weed and beer.” That woman tried to seduce me. Why? I have no idea. The way she wanted to go to the river. What the fuck did that mean? Patience. Was it worth it? I learned a lesson tonight. Sometimes when you listen to that little voice in the back of your head. The one that says “be patient wait” even though that other voice is screaming ” GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.” You wait and wait until you get your fare share. If you really listen to that little voice that voice that almost doesn’t exist you get more then your fare share. You are given the ability watch that instinct that animal in you and everyone else. It’s a lion. If you really are patient enough to listen to that voice then when the demon throws itself at you you know what to do. I felt tested last night. I followed that voice around and it threw me to the wolves. I dealt with it. I passed the test.
POZAR but the Z has a line through it
When the times get tough I kinda panic. There have been times in the last couple months that I’ve though about escape. A get away from the everyday. The cab is unique but times are tough so the though to move on pops in and out of my head. The military is something I think about joining. It seems like The place to be if you’re disillusioned and poor. A paycheck all that stuff. Tonight I drove a couple of soldiers, cool guys. I think they were with a prostitute but nice guys. One of the them, the one in the front seat, me and him got to talking, he told me there is nothing in the world like fighting. I drove a chef last night. His fare fed my family. Thank God for good clients and big fares, everyone I drove was angelic last night. It was a pleasure to drive last night. I went to check out a fire on the south side. It was huge. I was totally wowed by it. I took about a dozen photos. I sat and stared into that fire. The word surreal comes to mind when you happen to stumble upon a horrible moment. You stop to take a picture in this day and age. There were so many people outside of those apartment buildings. I hope everyone is ok. Who cares about stuff, when you got your life. Right? Times aren’t that tough. Oh and screw the oil patch and Shell and Esso, assholes
POZAR but the Z has a line through it
When the times get tough I kinda panic. There have been times in the last couple months that I’ve though about escape. A get away from the everyday. The cab is unique but times are tough so the though to move on pops in and out of my head. The military is something I think about joining. It seems like The place to be if you’re disillusioned and poor. A paycheck all that stuff. Tonight I drove a couple of soldiers, cool guys. I think they were with a prostitute but nice guys. One of the them, the one in the front seat, me and him got to talking, he told me there is nothing in the world like fighting. I drove a chef last night. His fare fed my family. Thank God for good clients and big fares, everyone I drove was angelic last night. It was a pleasure to drive last night. I went to check out a fire on the south side. It was huge. I was totally wowed by it. I took about a dozen photos. I sat and stared into that fire. The word surreal comes to mind when you happen to stumble upon a horrible moment. You stop to take a picture in this day and age. There were so many people outside of those apartment buildings. I hope everyone is ok. Who cares about stuff, when you got your life. Right? Times aren’t that tough. Oh and screw the oil patch and Shell and Esso, assholes
www.plentyoffish.com
Last night was what’s now becoming a typical slow night. Everything was slow. I drove a bachelor party of Polacks. You Guys know them Poles. It was actually a pleasure. I ended up on the North side. After dropping them off I got a call to the Evergreen Mobile home estate. Wow. What a maze. Trailer parks are cities, they are massive. So I call up the residence I’m trying to get at. A man answers he says “I’m not from here you’re coming to pick me up, please hurry!” then he handed the phone to some woman who sounded three quarters cut and angry. The directions she gave were awful, nothing she said made sense. She yelled at me and called me names. Then another man came on the phone, her father I guess, he tried to explain to me the ins and out of the trailer estate. Still nothing he said made sense. He was surely drinking by the sound of his nasty man voice. Then last but not least the mean woman’s mother came on she was drunk and stupid too. Then all of a sudden I saw some guy running at me at a hundred miles an hour. “You Joe?” I asked. The man jumped in the front and screamed “PLEASE get me the fuck out of here.” I thanked whoever was on the phone and hung up. The man told me he had met a woman online. He said she asked him to come over to have a BBQ and some beers with her parents. When he showed up with a two four of beer he quickly realized that there wasn’t going to be a BBQ but the whole family was going to partake in the drinking of the beer. I asked him “was the women good looking?” He smiled and said “shit yeah!, I wanted her so bad until I realized that after chugging ten beer she became a sour cunt.” He took a breath and said “I had to get out of there. I’m never trying to hook up on the Internet.” What’s funny about that story is I got a phone call from a strange number this morning. When I answered a woman with a mean voice said “You’re the cabby from last night?” I was still in my bed in a sleepy daze. I said “Sorry I work the night shift.” Then the voice on the other end asked me “got any money?” I hung up. I realized looking back at the number I dialed in that trailer park it was the sour cunt. Things are slow. I pulled up to one of my buddies that drives taxi. Big black dude. He is beyond cool and he always gives me Tim bits of wisdom. He’s been driving for almost 20 years. Well as I was pulling up he jumped out of his car and threw a shoe that was on the ground in front of his car across the street. Some weird looking native guy in short shorts ran to go get his shoe. The driver told me that the guy has been bothering him. He said “tonight Ive had nothing but trouble, I drove a guy to that hotel on 215st, he paid me than looked me in the eye and said “Hows life Nigger?” I told him to leave because he already paid me. The guy just sat behind the partition and kept rambling insults at me. So I turned the car off and stepped out.” This driver is totally a big black dude. Intimidating. “Well the fare ran away” he said. “Then when I tried to start my car the battery took a shit, I was stuck on 215st and the fucking bastard fare kept running around saying “go away I paid you.” Rough night.” Then he looked at the native guy getting his shoes and said “Now this.” I looked at the concrete and asked “how did he loose his shoes?” The other driver looked at me and said “he was trying to kick the car, I again got out and smacked him upside the head. He ran so fast his shoe fell of.” We both had a laugh as we watched the native guy who looked like a male prostitute come back for more. We looked at each other and just drove off simultaneously. No one wants any real trouble other then the Gay native asking for it on Stony Plain Road. I’m sure that guy got hurt by someone last night.
The pills don’t mix well with booze
The night started at around 8:00 pm. I checked the oil and did my walk around. The car was fine. I got in and started it. As the engine ran to life I realized my day driver had left the gas tank at a quarter tank. About 20$ worth of gas. “Fuck” I shouted. We’ve been having a gas war, me and the day driver. I was thinking at this point that I’m gonna leave him an empty tank. Just then as that thought was entering my thick skull my car’s owner pulled up. He told me “Don’t driver that car it’s been in an accident.” I looked at him and said “really? I looked. Where?” He pointed to the back bumper. I got out and looked and saw nothing. The car didn’t even have a scratch NOTHING. I took a closer look and laughed. My boss told me that he was here watching. Some thugs been smashing car windshields for the last couple months. My boss caught em. Some kids coming from a house up the street. Even had a shoe print for the police. A couple of the thugs were squatting in the abandoned cars too. Tinted windows?? Well my boss was watching over the place waiting in the morning for the police and he walks up 158st and sees 93, my car. The day driver is sitting in the front seat about to make a left but he wasn’t moving. My boss says ” I guess he was lightly hit, there’s no damage but he’s claiming an injury.” I slapped my head. My day driver is Middle Eastern. Then the owner threw me a set of key’s to a new car. As I sat down I felt different. It was a Crown Vic like every other, but she was equipped with a shield. Oh my God! A fucking shield. I felt like I was kicked in my taxi face. A plastic cage with a tiny window. The Vehicle for hire commission has locked me up. Jail. When I try to talk to the people it echoed. Weird. You can’t hear people. That’s the worst. You can’t tell if they’re whispering. That’s scary. I knew I relied on hearing the bastards in the back seat. The shield makes driving scarier. The people in the back are enticed to go crazy because of it. Well it hasn’t caused any problems so far, other then the hearing issue. But the shield is kinda like wearing a condom for me at least. I lost a lot of the sensation of the voyage with the person. The wall between us ensures that there will never be any real connection. Who cares? Anyway I drove Bryan Birtles a local reporter. He encouraged me to write the Vehicle for hire Commission and present them with a speech about my issues. I’m going to do it but I’ve never written a speech and don’t really understand the format. Does anyone out there know? Help me. I fucking need help. There is so many issues. My first fare tonight was a schizophrenic. Off the Meds, heavy duty! The first thing he said to me was “Do you ever feel surreal, like you’re in a fantasy?” I asked him “Can you see me? I’m your cabby. I don’t feel surreal and man this shit here isn’t like I’m in a fantasy.” He laughed and we drove to the Liquor store. He was tripping. Manic hard core. Nice guy. Gave me a fat tip. I said “Jerry I don’t want your money if your off your meds.” He said “take it, it comes out of the walls.” Then I said “Jerry before you crack your beers pop one of those pills. I don’t want to see you running around naked or something.” Then I said “Jerry they’ll lock you up, I know.” Jerry got out and right as I was about to pull away he leaned into the open window and asked “do you want to come in for a beer.” I said “Yes, but I can’t.” Then I gave Jerry the URL to my blog and my phone number just in case he wanted a ride ever again.
The pills don’t mix well with booze
The night started at around 8:00 pm. I checked the oil and did my walk around. The car was fine. I got in and started it. As the engine ran to life I realized my day driver had left the gas tank at a quarter tank. About 20$ worth of gas. “Fuck” I shouted. We’ve been having a gas war, me and the day driver. I was thinking at this point that I’m gonna leave him an empty tank. Just then as that thought was entering my thick skull my car’s owner pulled up. He told me “Don’t driver that car it’s been in an accident.” I looked at him and said “really? I looked. Where?” He pointed to the back bumper. I got out and looked and saw nothing. The car didn’t even have a scratch NOTHING. I took a closer look and laughed. My boss told me that he was here watching. Some thugs been smashing car windshields for the last couple months. My boss caught em. Some kids coming from a house up the street. Even had a shoe print for the police. A couple of the thugs were squatting in the abandoned cars too. Tinted windows?? Well my boss was watching over the place waiting in the morning for the police and he walks up 158st and sees 93, my car. The day driver is sitting in the front seat about to make a left but he wasn’t moving. My boss says ” I guess he was lightly hit, there’s no damage but he’s claiming an injury.” I slapped my head. My day driver is Middle Eastern. Then the owner threw me a set of key’s to a new car. As I sat down I felt different. It was a Crown Vic like every other, but she was equipped with a shield. Oh my God! A fucking shield. I felt like I was kicked in my taxi face. A plastic cage with a tiny window. The Vehicle for hire commission has locked me up. Jail. When I try to talk to the people it echoed. Weird. You can’t hear people. That’s the worst. You can’t tell if they’re whispering. That’s scary. I knew I relied on hearing the bastards in the back seat. The shield makes driving scarier. The people in the back are enticed to go crazy because of it. Well it hasn’t caused any problems so far, other then the hearing issue. But the shield is kinda like wearing a condom for me at least. I lost a lot of the sensation of the voyage with the person. The wall between us ensures that there will never be any real connection. Who cares? Anyway I drove Bryan Birtles a local reporter. He encouraged me to write the Vehicle for hire Commission and present them with a speech about my issues. I’m going to do it but I’ve never written a speech and don’t really understand the format. Does anyone out there know? Help me. I fucking need help. There is so many issues. My first fare tonight was a schizophrenic. Off the Meds, heavy duty! The first thing he said to me was “Do you ever feel surreal, like you’re in a fantasy?” I asked him “Can you see me? I’m your cabby. I don’t feel surreal and man this shit here isn’t like I’m in a fantasy.” He laughed and we drove to the Liquor store. He was tripping. Manic hard core. Nice guy. Gave me a fat tip. I said “Jerry I don’t want your money if your off your meds.” He said “take it, it comes out of the walls.” Then I said “Jerry before you crack your beers pop one of those pills. I don’t want to see you running around naked or something.” Then I said “Jerry they’ll lock you up, I know.” Jerry got out and right as I was about to pull away he leaned into the open window and asked “do you want to come in for a beer.” I said “Yes, but I can’t.” Then I gave Jerry the URL to my blog and my phone number just in case he wanted a ride ever again.
Sasktoon A text to you, u liked shopping too
I remember everything about you. I remember everything Bout everybody
That’s my job. Call me anytime I might be working and
thanks. I think I am the best cabby. One of the best on the planet. You guys were my fare that night. Rock on.
Sasktoon A text to you, u liked shopping too
I remember everything about you. I remember everything Bout everybody
That’s my job. Call me anytime I might be working and
thanks. I think I am the best cabby. One of the best on the planet. You guys were my fare that night. Rock on.
Broken Bus stop
Last night I got home and felt like falling asleep. I just went to bed, I was tiered. Not much happened last night. I do remember this one thing. A group of dudes. They were roughhousing around the bar and on the road. I remember thinking they were assholes out loud. I was the first one up in a line of taxis. Hudson’s on Whyte. There were lots of people in front of the place. Closing time. All of a sudden one of the rowdy air head roughhousers gets in the front seat of my car. Then two more jump in the back. The first thing I hear is “You’re such a fucking cock block.” One giant guy accusing another massive human being in the back seat. The argument continues to escalate. It gets physical. Nothing extreme. The guy in the front seat saw a the situation and asked “Where is your shield?” I said “It’s coming next week.” I wonder what it’s gonna do. You know to the overall feel of the taxi. Mines coming. Funny now that the times are tough I’m getting a cage. I’m one of the last cars in the fleet not to have one. With a little window and a money hole. Awesome. Tonight I drove my aunt to the McKernan LRT station. In my own car. Off duty. She was going to the El Divo concert. Well she made it to Rexall and back with no problem. Fast and cheap. That train is going to run to Heritage soon. All the way to 23rd ave. Damn that’s gonna kill business . Ha. I just want to drive around this summer. I am anticipating a change with the shield a psychological one, in me and the passengers. Well with the economy and stuff I think this summer is going to be exciting.
Broken Bus stop
Last night I got home and felt like falling asleep. I just went to bed, I was tiered. Not much happened last night. I do remember this one thing. A group of dudes. They were roughhousing around the bar and on the road. I remember thinking they were assholes out loud. I was the first one up in a line of taxis. Hudson’s on Whyte. There were lots of people in front of the place. Closing time. All of a sudden one of the rowdy air head roughhousers gets in the front seat of my car. Then two more jump in the back. The first thing I hear is “You’re such a fucking cock block.” One giant guy accusing another massive human being in the back seat. The argument continues to escalate. It gets physical. Nothing extreme. The guy in the front seat saw a the situation and asked “Where is your shield?” I said “It’s coming next week.” I wonder what it’s gonna do. You know to the overall feel of the taxi. Mines coming. Funny now that the times are tough I’m getting a cage. I’m one of the last cars in the fleet not to have one. With a little window and a money hole. Awesome. Tonight I drove my aunt to the McKernan LRT station. In my own car. Off duty. She was going to the El Divo concert. Well she made it to Rexall and back with no problem. Fast and cheap. That train is going to run to Heritage soon. All the way to 23rd ave. Damn that’s gonna kill business . Ha. I just want to drive around this summer. I am anticipating a change with the shield a psychological one, in me and the passengers. Well with the economy and stuff I think this summer is going to be exciting.
Looking to get pregnant, isn’t that why?
Finally a night where I had more than three people in the car. What makes taxi so cool isn’t the cash flow (which can be good sometimes but not during a recession) it’s the people. My job is fun and I love it. I love cruising up to your house and meeting you, especially if you’re someone I don’t know. That’s when I can grab you and get you to fall in love with me. I mean that’s how I get you to call back. If not me then the company I work for. Tonight was awesome. It started like every other night this week. Slow. During the boom I was busy for 92% of my time spent in the car. Now calls start coming in at around 11pm. It’s weird everyone wants a taxi at the same time, people seem to behave alike. K tonight I watched one of my fares dress their dog up like a princess. That was strange. I also visited Layne Mitchell and the intern army at the Pawn Shop. Even got a free hot dog. Score. Oh my second last fare a couple of girls I picked up on 102ave and 138st. They got in and I could tell they had no money but I told them I would take them down town. The Eurythmics were on the Radio “Sweet dreams” I turned the volume way up and we bounced to the smooth groove of Annie Lennox. After the song was done one of the girls asked me “Do you go on dates?” I knew what she was talking bout but pretended to be ignorant. “Dates? What do you mean” I asked. Then the girl in the back seat moved in on the girl in the front seat and they started making out. “You guys lesbians?” I asked. The girl in the front said “she’s my wife, it’s been two years.” I applauded them. “So you wanna date?” the girl in the front seat asked. I again asked “date? What do you mean?” Then the girl in the back seat poked her head into the front seat and said “Double blow job. We need to make some money.” I shook my head and said “I don’t pay for that, and anyway I’m driving you for free .” I stated with absolutely no intent on getting a blow job. I just wanted them to be clear on the fact that they were getting to 95st and Jasper for free. They laughed, then the girl in the front seat grabbed me, she tried to get at my cock. I laughed and said “I don’t want a blow job, I don’t swing like that.” She realized that their offer of a double blow job didn’t arouse me. When I got to their destination they wanted me to lend them five bucks for some booze. I said “all the liquor stores are closed, you ladies are just hurting for the rock.” The both tried to say “no” but they knew I was right and they were in denial. The girl in the front seat said “I’ll show my tits for five bucks.” I laughed again and thought about it, I thought about maybe taking a picture and publishing it on taxitalk but I knew that wasn’t going to happen I said “No” then she said “I’ll show them to you for 2$” I again said “no.” They got out and some guy pulled up to them in a VW Jetta I think. They disappeared. Fuck those lesbians all they really want is the shaft and a hard spot.
Satan Rocks the night away while eating your balls
I am a great writer, at least in my books. I’m an excellent cabby but I think I have to stop driving. No money. In the last two nights I’ve brought home 200$,(20hrs) rent for the taxi is 370$. I have Saturday and Sunday to make taxi rent and try to pay my bills. Not sure if it can be done. The corporate pigs of the world should burn. It’s fate. I picked up a guy, my last fare. He remembered me and called me up, Thank God. The company only sent me four trips in the last two days. Four or five trips in two days is a joke. Well anyway the guy that was my last fare, I’m his favorite taxi driver. The first time I drove him he was with a woman in the back seat. She strung him along pullin his chain but didn’t actually get him off. Well last night he called me from her apartment and guess what? She did it again. Left the poor guy to go home and jerk off. He likes her though. Tease. No fares last night. A few people called me. My personals will help me pay next weeks rent. I’m going to work the whole week all seven days next week. If I still can’t make ends meet I’m out. Ill start collecting welfare until I get my student loans and I start school. Fuck paying huge rent fees so some corporate big wig rips off a bunch of mostly immigrant drivers. The company is no good and your safety is the last thing on their minds. I drove this metal head in this band Carrion Spirit he worshiped Satan. I thought that was cool. Worship Satan people cause God is acting like a bitch lately, sucking off the corporate giants. I think maybe he wants the world to end so he can fuck mother nature again and start all over from scratch. Pig. GOd is really a Dog. Woof. That’s only half true God Is a good thing too I hope, you just have to have faith but faith don’t actually pay the rent. Fuck the world my friends fuck this city.
Gas prices have gone up 20%, Go Economy devil and killer of life go
Growing up is hard to do in these troubled times. You’d think. Not true. I drove a girl from high school. She sat down in the car during a Nirvana song, her and her boyfriend. I blasted it. Seeing kids from high school reminds me that I’m not a kid anymore. That chick was a woman. I have a kid, Fuck! I’m a man. Growing up. Sometimes I still feel like a kid, but once you have a kid you grow up. It changes things in a good way and a bad way. The good out ways the evil ten fold. Driving the taxi, I get to see people behaving like kids. Letting the inner demon out. I got to say “no one’s partying. No one’s really letting loose.” It’s a good thing and a bad thing. I need to go back to school. The night life is dry. No good stories. Lies! Tonight I drove a couple of kids that went to “Queen the tribute band.” They said they were the youngsters, they tried to get the audience moving but the people just sat and stared. I drove them up too Stony Plain Road to pick up some rails and a bag-a-dank. They only had seven bucks. They made it to their destination singing “bicycles! bicycles!” Yeah cutting people deals, cause I got one call tonight. Oh a cop car pulled up to me after I dropped off a fare. I was parked in the right lane on Jasper ave, my hazards were on. The fare took a long time to pay. Whatever. He was the second person in the car in three hours. Joey’s on 12st and Jasper. He gets out. Traffic honking at me. I tell the customer to stay safe. Then the SUV cruiser rushes up in the left hand lane and the guy sitting shot gun say’s “you can’t do that.” I look over and the taxi loading zone has a Corvette sitting in it. I point. The cop looks at me, I ask “Can I go now?” then the chick cop driver proceeds and cuts me off in anger. I laugh and thank God I’d didn’t get some bullshit ticket. I’ve never had a problem doing that I don’t think its illegal. I’m so hooked on taxi.
Gas prices have gone up 20%, Go Economy devil and killer of life go
Growing up is hard to do in these troubled times. You’d think. Not true. I drove a girl from high school. She sat down in the car during a Nirvana song, her and her boyfriend. I blasted it. Seeing kids from high school reminds me that I’m not a kid anymore. That chick was a woman. I have a kid, Fuck! I’m a man. Growing up. Sometimes I still feel like a kid, but once you have a kid you grow up. It changes things in a good way and a bad way. The good out ways the evil ten fold. Driving the taxi, I get to see people behaving like kids. Letting the inner demon out. I got to say “no one’s partying. No one’s really letting loose.” It’s a good thing and a bad thing. I need to go back to school. The night life is dry. No good stories. Lies! Tonight I drove a couple of kids that went to “Queen the tribute band.” They said they were the youngsters, they tried to get the audience moving but the people just sat and stared. I drove them up too Stony Plain Road to pick up some rails and a bag-a-dank. They only had seven bucks. They made it to their destination singing “bicycles! bicycles!” Yeah cutting people deals, cause I got one call tonight. Oh a cop car pulled up to me after I dropped off a fare. I was parked in the right lane on Jasper ave, my hazards were on. The fare took a long time to pay. Whatever. He was the second person in the car in three hours. Joey’s on 12st and Jasper. He gets out. Traffic honking at me. I tell the customer to stay safe. Then the SUV cruiser rushes up in the left hand lane and the guy sitting shot gun say’s “you can’t do that.” I look over and the taxi loading zone has a Corvette sitting in it. I point. The cop looks at me, I ask “Can I go now?” then the chick cop driver proceeds and cuts me off in anger. I laugh and thank God I’d didn’t get some bullshit ticket. I’ve never had a problem doing that I don’t think its illegal. I’m so hooked on taxi.
I can’t gamble I’m scared! fucking dirty addict
I gave another cabby the URL to taxitalk. Something I’ve never really done. Frustrated with the cost of rent. It’s hard to make a living. WEll You can make a living but just barely. I’m not the only one out there I know. I like it though, challenging, mean. This new world. It would be cool to get to travel during this Global Crisis. I bet you’d get great service anywhere on the planet right now. Oh I had a chick puke in her purse. Totally punk rock sweetie. I saw the partition I’m gonna be getting. The new shield. Mmm. New change. Punk rock is comin soon. Walls don’t stop shit. Walls stir shit up. Last night I drove two couples that worked in finance. They were both attractive couples. A mortgage is where it’s at. Yeah I want to start a Union. Rent is too high. I get like ten calls a night from dispatch and only five or six of those trips pan out. I’ve been getting fares that don’t have enough money. People with like eight bucks and it’s a 25$ fare. I take the money and give them a card. Tell them to call me if they every win the lottery. I wonder if that’s the ticket. I love driving the taxi. I want my own taxi. I wish I could ride around whenever I wanted. For Free. I know that’s a stretch but I like it. There was some serious drinking and driving tonight. Prom season. I haven’t had any graduates this year. Who the fuck graduates anyway? Oh yeah I talked to Danaye Maier from the Bear. She was a awesome. I could tell she was a nice person from the sound of her voice.
Water log 436km
Last night was interesting. For the first time in a long time I had a fare that was vision impaired. She was an older women, but still a spry cat. She had the white cane. When I asked where she was going she said the name of a prominent strip club. I was in shock. I asked ” what you gonna be doing there?” kinda surprised. She turned to me and said “My son owns the club and I’m looking after it while he’s away on vacation.” A blind woman looking after a dance club full of naked ladies. Cool! She was one of my fist fares. What made the night a little more interesting was the fare right after the woman with the cane, she was a women with a seeing eye dog. What are the chances? Two in a row. The dog was so sweet. He put his face up through the gap in the front seats and I petted his Golden Labrador face. Then the blind woman in the back seat scolded me a bite and said “you shouldn’t touch the dogs when their wearing a harness.” I apologized for touching her companion. There was money to be made last night. People were scarce though, long weekends have become really chill in the city. Lots of people leave so night time drunken traffic seemed down. Not that I didn’t see any assholes on the road. There were a few accidents that I notice involving a head through a windshield. There was this one car I drove by last night. I was with a fare, the car was parked across the road. On the hill right underneath the Shaw Conference Center. Well as the fare and I passed the car we realized that someone was sleeping in the drivers side seat. Just passed out. I asked the fare if they minded if I stepped out on the road to take a photo of the rottenness. They were totally in. As I approached the car another man was also coming up the hill toward the car. He asked me “Who are you?” I said “the taxi driver” then proceeded to take a photo. I was able to snap one off of the situation before the guy told me “stop.” He was dressed in plain cloths “I’m a cop with the EPS, go back to your car and leave this to me.” He looked like a civilian but talked like a pig. I walked back to my car yelling ” fuck, you have your work cut out for you guys and by the looks of things you’re not doing the best job.” I jumped back in the taxi and drove off to the North Side.
Water log 436km
Last night was interesting. For the first time in a long time I had a fare that was vision impaired. She was an older women, but still a spry cat. She had the white cane. When I asked where she was going she said the name of a prominent strip club. I was in shock. I asked ” what you gonna be doing there?” kinda surprised. She turned to me and said “My son owns the club and I’m looking after it while he’s away on vacation.” A blind woman looking after a dance club full of naked ladies. Cool! She was one of my fist fares. What made the night a little more interesting was the fare right after the woman with the cane, she was a women with a seeing eye dog. What are the chances? Two in a row. The dog was so sweet. He put his face up through the gap in the front seats and I petted his Golden Labrador face. Then the blind woman in the back seat scolded me a bite and said “you shouldn’t touch the dogs when their wearing a harness.” I apologized for touching her companion. There was money to be made last night. People were scarce though, long weekends have become really chill in the city. Lots of people leave so night time drunken traffic seemed down. Not that I didn’t see any assholes on the road. There were a few accidents that I notice involving a head through a windshield. There was this one car I drove by last night. I was with a fare, the car was parked across the road. On the hill right underneath the Shaw Conference Center. Well as the fare and I passed the car we realized that someone was sleeping in the drivers side seat. Just passed out. I asked the fare if they minded if I stepped out on the road to take a photo of the rottenness. They were totally in. As I approached the car another man was also coming up the hill toward the car. He asked me “Who are you?” I said “the taxi driver” then proceeded to take a photo. I was able to snap one off of the situation before the guy told me “stop.” He was dressed in plain cloths “I’m a cop with the EPS, go back to your car and leave this to me.” He looked like a civilian but talked like a pig. I walked back to my car yelling ” fuck, you have your work cut out for you guys and by the looks of things you’re not doing the best job.” I jumped back in the taxi and drove off to the North Side.
I made this for you because I stayed with my sick son last night Enjoy!
I got a phone call from the RCMPA
have you guys heard of them?
You guys I was interviewed by Venture Inc about maybe being their video guy
Please cross the fingers
I made this for you because I stayed with my sick son last night Enjoy!
I got a phone call from the RCMPA
have you guys heard of them?
You guys I was interviewed by Venture Inc about maybe being their video guy
Please cross the fingers
It’s gonna be a long long time
As soon as I get in the cab these days I do my routine. I go circle the west end then move downtown. I gotta boot around like a little rocket man. University is gone. Nothing. That’s a big deal. I’m gonna have to work it a little harder if I want to survive in this industry. It’s like Mars out there, cold as hell. I love the cab. It’s an addiction. One that’s allowed me to see many walks of life. It’s outer space. I picked my first fare up at the bus stop, 102 st and 82 ave south side of the street. He was hitchhiking. I pulled over and asked him ” Where ya going?” He was an old dude, kind of a honky cat. Rig Pig, old enough to be my dad. “I need to find a Best Western. I’ll get cash.” I believed him, and right now it’s worth the gamble. My car is running. I might as well try. We move up to 109st, the Safeway. He goes in and it was closed. The security guard followed him out. He got back in my car. I drove him to the Money Mart on Jasper and 108st. Someone named Daniel sent him the Money order, think he said it was his older brother. While he was getting cash, a bum came up to the taxi. I was right there on the corner of the street. He asked me for Money. I told him “I’m trying to get paid by a hitchhiking crack head rig pig that’s sleeping in the Strat and fucking hookers.” The bum laughed and that Elephant band Turned on the radio, it was a good Boarder song for us. We listened to it. The rig pig came back. He had 50$. He told me that Saturday nights for fighting, he said ” Yesterday I blew 4800$.” Then he said “when you come back from workin you gotta let loose.” I told him smoking crack with Hookers is worse then dancing the crocodile rock. Fuck! I let him off at the corner of Gateway boulevard and 83ave. Told him to get a pack of smokes and go to bed . Buy breakfast in the morning and get on the bus to fort mac.” He gave me 20$, said he’d give me ten but that would leave him with 40$. That’s what he needs to buy a piece. He took off. Goodbye yellow brick road. That dude was a hit in the dark, a candle in the wind. I got 20 bucks. That’s a hustle. Then I drove this 19 year old loner transient Australian kid who told me “Mike Patton A Perfect Twist that’s your song.” Times are tight but nothing beats driving the Sunday night. Things are gonna get better, you know I read it in a magazine. Maybe its about time I pop a Benny and take off on a Jet. I won’t let the Sun go down on me. Not today. Maybe it’ll be nice and I can get a tan. Imagine. Oh imagine this, Rig pig dude picking up cigarette butts off the ground in the same spot I dropped him off two hours earlier. I pulled up and asked “you bought a 30$ piece right?” He looked up and smiled this shit eating grin. Nicotine can be picked up off the streets.
Shotgun! Don’t worry bout it.
Economic slow down. You guys know what that smells like. Teen spirit, I had some of that last night. I was picking up one of my first fares. A 19 year old kid. I thanked him from the bottom of my cabby heart for calling a cab. “Thanks man, most people stay away from taxis these days and drive drunk.” The 19 year old looked at me and said “my dad was killed by a drunk driver, it’s something that’s in the way. I can’t drink and drive.” Sad story. Something like that can really drain you, but this kid was cool. He really appreciated me, taxis need the work. I need work so bad I picked up this 26 year old. He was out with his friends at on the rocks when he had a few to many. He got sick. Even thought there hasn’t been any work lately other taxi drivers rejected this guy. His friends told me he was vomity. I could tell. “That’s cool I got convenience bags, like on a plane.” The kid almost filled one. He was a good fare. He barfed in the bag and made it home alive. His friends kinda ditched him, when they threw him into the cab they said “he has a credit card. and if not his mom does.” You know those bastards just wanted to go back to the bar and breed. I had a bunch of girls from a bachelorette party. The bride to be was already gone, I guess she had a few to many too. Well one of the women I let in the car liked me. Her name was Ashley, hot girl. You could tell she was horny, you know in bloom. It’s strange to hear women talk about needing sex. See when guys do it it’s territorial pissings, but when an attractive women talks dirty it’s thrilling. For me at least. I like that come as you are attitude, that openness that makes people feel like maybe they don’t need that lithium. Maybe the world is a decent place after all, not just some sleazy lounge act. Life is more than a pirate feeding his pet Polly some crackers right?
Shotgun! Don’t worry bout it.
Economic slow down. You guys know what that smells like. Teen spirit, I had some of that last night. I was picking up one of my first fares. A 19 year old kid. I thanked him from the bottom of my cabby heart for calling a cab. “Thanks man, most people stay away from taxis these days and drive drunk.” The 19 year old looked at me and said “my dad was killed by a drunk driver, it’s something that’s in the way. I can’t drink and drive.” Sad story. Something like that can really drain you, but this kid was cool. He really appreciated me, taxis need the work. I need work so bad I picked up this 26 year old. He was out with his friends at on the rocks when he had a few to many. He got sick. Even thought there hasn’t been any work lately other taxi drivers rejected this guy. His friends told me he was vomity. I could tell. “That’s cool I got convenience bags, like on a plane.” The kid almost filled one. He was a good fare. He barfed in the bag and made it home alive. His friends kinda ditched him, when they threw him into the cab they said “he has a credit card. and if not his mom does.” You know those bastards just wanted to go back to the bar and breed. I had a bunch of girls from a bachelorette party. The bride to be was already gone, I guess she had a few to many too. Well one of the women I let in the car liked me. Her name was Ashley, hot girl. You could tell she was horny, you know in bloom. It’s strange to hear women talk about needing sex. See when guys do it it’s territorial pissings, but when an attractive women talks dirty it’s thrilling. For me at least. I like that come as you are attitude, that openness that makes people feel like maybe they don’t need that lithium. Maybe the world is a decent place after all, not just some sleazy lounge act. Life is more than a pirate feeding his pet Polly some crackers right?
short story
Tonight was another night. I had a good one. I was invited back to the Y after hours. I’ve been living the Zen style, Welcome to wherever you are, kinda thing. I was in the club tonight. I danced. I was offered drugs last week and this week. I’ve been staying clean and well, that’s the thing I’ve been clean for like four years. I watched all the kids in the club get wreaked. Life times, wasted or maybe not. I got there as the club was opening. 3am. You can only get so far in the line up. You can watch kids get all fucked up in that first hour. I stayed for an hour. I danced for most of it. I watch all the kids trying to move to the beat. Some were having a hard time just trying to stand up. The drugs pounding through their bodies with every heart beat. Costa La vista baby. I’m not saying that I can dance but I do sober. It’s sweet. Windows into a different world. I can get the vibe I want off the other people. Without the drugs. I do it in the cab every day. Drugs generate behaviors. Those behaviors are provoked by feelings that are brought on by the drugs. Just mimicking those actions creates those feeling. Drugs real aren’t necessary, especially when you truly understand what”s yours to loose. First and foremost the dancing in an illicit, dirty, seedy, underground club is cool. You don’t have to be high to have fun. If you insist on getting high look further, now what do you see?
short story
Tonight was another night. I had a good one. I was invited back to the Y after hours. I’ve been living the Zen style, Welcome to wherever you are, kinda thing. I was in the club tonight. I danced. I was offered drugs last week and this week. I’ve been staying clean and well, that’s the thing I’ve been clean for like four years. I watched all the kids in the club get wreaked. Life times, wasted or maybe not. I got there as the club was opening. 3am. You can only get so far in the line up. You can watch kids get all fucked up in that first hour. I stayed for an hour. I danced for most of it. I watch all the kids trying to move to the beat. Some were having a hard time just trying to stand up. The drugs pounding through their bodies with every heart beat. Costa La vista baby. I’m not saying that I can dance but I do sober. It’s sweet. Windows into a different world. I can get the vibe I want off the other people. Without the drugs. I do it in the cab every day. Drugs generate behaviors. Those behaviors are provoked by feelings that are brought on by the drugs. Just mimicking those actions creates those feeling. Drugs real aren’t necessary, especially when you truly understand what”s yours to loose. First and foremost the dancing in an illicit, dirty, seedy, underground club is cool. You don’t have to be high to have fun. If you insist on getting high look further, now what do you see?
Leon of the Okanagan
Last night started with a fare from downtown to Steel Wheelz. Three kids stocking up on treats to eat after they indulge in a bit of a blunt. I got 20$. First fare made my night look promising. They weren’t going to be knocking any one up. Then a personal call. Cause I’m on call. An old client. I need her. Shes a charmer. Then I drove a couple of drunk guys, one of them was an Oiler. No Joke. Dough Kicklac or something. The guy in the front seat sold pasta sauce. You know Ragoo or something. He said his sauce is the good stuff. For that 30$ pasta. Told me bout growing up in the west end. Kings of that hood. Booting around in the good old Camaro kicking ass. McFearless’s. I’m lucky I got them. They paid for gas. There was nowhere to stop. All stands were full. Top light s On, the black thumbnail of life. I drove by a club that had a dude being arrested in front of it. I backed myself right in there thinking it might attract a fare. Nothing. a good show though. Then I drove a dude named Kim. He asked me for crack. I asked him if a driver has ever hooked him up with a piece. He said “Yes.” I doubted it. He was a gross guy. As we were pulling up to the ATB he touched my arm and said “don’t worry I’m not the runner.” I told him “hurry up.” His hands were dead cold. You people aren’t fans of cold hands are you? My last fare was a woman that was loitering around the Petro-Can I fill up at. People who loiter usually want something. She wanted a ride three blocks away. On the way there she told me the Sheriff kicked her out of this house at 7am. She’s going back to break and enter. I could tell she was a fresh user. I asked if she was using hard or soft. “Hard” I yelled before she could answer.”I’m a nurse” she told me. I told her to get off the crack. Man a couple of weeks on that stuff and your done. You end up in someones trunk. For some people it’s the true love way. For me, my way, I’d live in Arizona or New Mexico and I’d have a half pipe in the desert. It would be my party. I’m moving to Canadas California soon.
Where the Fuck! do I live?
I live in a Nation where we need to advertise basic morality. This is the top of the world Baby! ProtectChildren.ca
fight that ticket!
is affordable and the cops that work there quit.
Where the Fuck! do I live?
I live in a Nation where we need to advertise basic morality. This is the top of the world Baby! ProtectChildren.ca
fight that ticket!
is affordable and the cops that work there quit.
Where the Fuck! do I live?
I live in a Nation where we need to advertise basic morality. This is the top of the world Baby! ProtectChildren.ca
fight that ticket!
is affordable and the cops that work there quit.
Buddy! move over
Sunday night my first fare was the same women from last night. She was the one who worked in the massage parlor. Actually that’s where I was called to. The same women. She told me she had one client. “165$, that’s what I made today. Not bad.” I said “Sure I guess.” She told me that a member of a prominent Rub and Tug on 109st and 105ave got AIDS. She was thinking about it out loud in the car, “Imagine if she went bare back, Imagine if I had one of her clients.” I could tell she was scared. I could tell she didn’t always use protection. I had a good night Sunday morning. It was stress free like every Sunday should be. It rained. That was the first bit of rain I’ve seen in a while. Freshened the world up a bit. Summers coming.
I want to know what love is I want you to show me
Aaaaha. What a night! Almost all my clients were personal. Lately because it’s slow I focus on picking up personals. In the past the bar rush was six hours long. Now it’s over before it started. My personal are all rocking. I had this women get in. She had something about her. She was older and she was very plain but she let of this … I don’t know. As she walked into the liquor store all the men were watching her move around. She was in and out of there fast. Then when she hit the 7/11 all the dudes tried to stop and talk to her. Weird. She wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. One guy even came up and asked me “Whats her address?” I gave him a bunk location. Then he pulled a stolen pepperoni from his sleeve. He looked at the 7/11 and said “Man that place must loose 10,000$ a month in revenue. I never pay full price.” I laughed. He stood next to the car until she came out. He tried to talk to her he even said “I know you!” She told me ” go, I don’t know this guy.” I left laughing. On the way back to her place she told me ” I work in a massage parlor.” That explained it. She was a hooker. Off duty though. Fuck men can smell it a mile away. Men are pigs. The night was slow. Lots to piss me off. I’m trying something new. I’m trying to live and let live. I’m trying to be zen. I’m trying to stop stressing about money and control. What I do is stay in a good mood. When someone cuts me off and my heart starts to pound I relax. I try to let it go. Really a difficult thing for me. It helps. I’ve been making more money in the zen state. Thinking more rationally. I was having trouble focusing on the blog earlier. Not able to think about anything better then the crappy dispatcher or the worthless pigs. Then I walked upstairs and ate an orange. I mean I actually sat there and enjoyed the orange. The dame fruit was delicious. The texture. Fuck. Then I ate another on. Every time my mind wandered into the no-mans land of anger and misery I would loose the great sensation on eating that orange. I want to live that sensation. I want my life to be so good I want more.
I want to know what love is I want you to show me
Aaaaha. What a night! Almost all my clients were personal. Lately because it’s slow I focus on picking up personals. In the past the bar rush was six hours long. Now it’s over before it started. My personal are all rocking. I had this women get in. She had something about her. She was older and she was very plain but she let of this … I don’t know. As she walked into the liquor store all the men were watching her move around. She was in and out of there fast. Then when she hit the 7/11 all the dudes tried to stop and talk to her. Weird. She wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. One guy even came up and asked me “Whats her address?” I gave him a bunk location. Then he pulled a stolen pepperoni from his sleeve. He looked at the 7/11 and said “Man that place must loose 10,000$ a month in revenue. I never pay full price.” I laughed. He stood next to the car until she came out. He tried to talk to her he even said “I know you!” She told me ” go, I don’t know this guy.” I left laughing. On the way back to her place she told me ” I work in a massage parlor.” That explained it. She was a hooker. Off duty though. Fuck men can smell it a mile away. Men are pigs. The night was slow. Lots to piss me off. I’m trying something new. I’m trying to live and let live. I’m trying to be zen. I’m trying to stop stressing about money and control. What I do is stay in a good mood. When someone cuts me off and my heart starts to pound I relax. I try to let it go. Really a difficult thing for me. It helps. I’ve been making more money in the zen state. Thinking more rationally. I was having trouble focusing on the blog earlier. Not able to think about anything better then the crappy dispatcher or the worthless pigs. Then I walked upstairs and ate an orange. I mean I actually sat there and enjoyed the orange. The dame fruit was delicious. The texture. Fuck. Then I ate another on. Every time my mind wandered into the no-mans land of anger and misery I would loose the great sensation on eating that orange. I want to live that sensation. I want my life to be so good I want more.
I want to know what love is I want you to show me
Aaaaha. What a night! Almost all my clients were personal. Lately because it’s slow I focus on picking up personals. In the past the bar rush was six hours long. Now it’s over before it started. My personal are all rocking. I had this women get in. She had something about her. She was older and she was very plain but she let of this … I don’t know. As she walked into the liquor store all the men were watching her move around. She was in and out of there fast. Then when she hit the 7/11 all the dudes tried to stop and talk to her. Weird. She wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. One guy even came up and asked me “Whats her address?” I gave him a bunk location. Then he pulled a stolen pepperoni from his sleeve. He looked at the 7/11 and said “Man that place must loose 10,000$ a month in revenue. I never pay full price.” I laughed. He stood next to the car until she came out. He tried to talk to her he even said “I know you!” She told me ” go, I don’t know this guy.” I left laughing. On the way back to her place she told me ” I work in a massage parlor.” That explained it. She was a hooker. Off duty though. Fuck men can smell it a mile away. Men are pigs. The night was slow. Lots to piss me off. I’m trying something new. I’m trying to live and let live. I’m trying to be zen. I’m trying to stop stressing about money and control. What I do is stay in a good mood. When someone cuts me off and my heart starts to pound I relax. I try to let it go. Really a difficult thing for me. It helps. I’ve been making more money in the zen state. Thinking more rationally. I was having trouble focusing on the blog earlier. Not able to think about anything better then the crappy dispatcher or the worthless pigs. Then I walked upstairs and ate an orange. I mean I actually sat there and enjoyed the orange. The dame fruit was delicious. The texture. Fuck. Then I ate another on. Every time my mind wandered into the no-mans land of anger and misery I would loose the great sensation on eating that orange. I want to live that sensation. I want my life to be so good I want more.
shhh……feel the emotions
Tonight was not ordinary. I actually had an incredible morning. Well the night started with an excellent meal with a friend a sexy friend. Then I started work around 9 pm. The roads were busy with all those Friday night assholes. It’s weird seeing so much traffic throughout the night. I drove the Inarticulate drunk guy last night from the Bear. He was cool. Not much happened until I got a call from a friend Mr. Dave. Well he had been sitting at his house pounding a few beers back with his boss. When the boss needed a ride home I was the lucky recipient of the phone call. When I arrived I was welcomed by a group of men that had obviously been having a “good” night. I took Dave’s boss home. Nice guy owns an international electrical company or something. The man gave me 100$. Wow. I almost blew a gasket. My night was all of a sudden looking good. Money is tight these days, a 90$ tip goes a long way. Thanks man. Later, and this is the weird one. Donair shop on 82ave and 106st, three dudes get in while I’m rocking Nirvanas “Polly” loud. I tell them to simmer down cause I want to listen to the song, then I blare it. They dig it. Seems I got a fighter in the car, a massive man. A Doctor (General practitioner) and their friend (don’t know what he did). On the way to the Y after hours they wanted to stop at their truck. We stop. The boys get themselves a whiff of special K (Ketamine). All of a sudden they are totally clued into me. They loved the ride so much that when we got to the Y they offered me whatever it took to get me to go in with them. I said “100$” I was joking but bam they gave it up no problem. We entered. So I’m in the dance club with a doctor and a man that is huge. All the women were staring at us. well not me, the guy with the massive biceps. They bought me some water (5$ a bottle) and I sat down in the chill out room. I watched a guy tripping on Ecstasy throw up on the floor. The Y. I talked with my new buddies. They were cool. I think they were out of their element and that’s why they wanted me to come in with them. They had drugs. Lots of drugs (pharmaceutical) and money but they weren’t drug people. Just a threesome of dudes letting loose. I thought it was cool. They took good care of me in that club. I was happy to have been given the opportunity to make a 100$/hour plus dance around a club like a teenager. I left after the hour, my fares stayed. Dudes you guys were the shit, I don’t believe you people stepped into my life like that thanks. As I walked out the club towards my car a girl approached me. She wanted a ride. I could see the line of taxis in front of the after hours club. I asked “Why don’t you take one of those?” She said “you write a blog right? My sister almost had sex in your car once, she said you blogged about it” I smiled and let her in. My night was incredible compared to any other cabby last night for sure. I am so lucky to be me and I love the summer time so party the fuck on kids.
Faxi Taxi
Oh I also saw the bastard Gypsy cabby. Hey I snagged a pic. Just look at his greasy mug. The mother fuck is missing his front teeth. You guys tell me what you think of the picture.
So these two guys get in an start talking bout their night. They told me that they had a women walk out on them. I picked them up a a restaurant named “happy family eats” or something. I was dispatched to the trip at 3:30am. “Why did she walk out on you?” I asked. One of the guys turned to me and said “cause I never thanked her for ordering such a great meal.” “Did she pay?” I inquired. He says “No, I paid but the meal was exceptionally good and I guess she was hurt that no one cared to thank her.”
Oh you guys the world is changing. No joke. I like recession. I hope it hits hard. People change during the tough times. People look real. People are loosing their jobs. I paid my “shift rent” today. I didn’t have an envelope I gave my boss a fist full of cash. He counts it and says “rent went up 30$ a week.” I was like “when?” surprised as fuck. “Last month” he said. I owe him a bunch of extra cash. Funny, I was just thinking that rent should be lowered since I can’t get ahead financially. Fuck a trip to the dentist is a tough pill to swallow. I’m getting insured. I need Life insurance. It would suck to get hacked up and tossed into the trunk of my taxi for “nothing.” All in all I can’t think of a better job. Tonight I drove a couple members of the “Cree Clan.” These kids kicked ass. I wish I could link them up. These dudes were just such nice people. They were from the reserve. They opened for a rapper at the Gas Pump. Looked like it sold out cause the Gas Pump was the only place to get a fare. The Empress too. The last Thursday of every month is a Gay Night. Gays are some great people. I’m really actually comfortable with gay men. I try to shoot the shit with them. I’ve driven lots of gay people, my fare share.
Faxi Taxi
Oh I also saw the bastard Gypsy cabby. Hey I snagged a pic. Just look at his greasy mug. The mother fuck is missing his front teeth. You guys tell me what you think of the picture.
So these two guys get in an start talking bout their night. They told me that they had a women walk out on them. I picked them up a a restaurant named “happy family eats” or something. I was dispatched to the trip at 3:30am. “Why did she walk out on you?” I asked. One of the guys turned to me and said “cause I never thanked her for ordering such a great meal.” “Did she pay?” I inquired. He says “No, I paid but the meal was exceptionally good and I guess she was hurt that no one cared to thank her.”
Oh you guys the world is changing. No joke. I like recession. I hope it hits hard. People change during the tough times. People look real. People are loosing their jobs. I paid my “shift rent” today. I didn’t have an envelope I gave my boss a fist full of cash. He counts it and says “rent went up 30$ a week.” I was like “when?” surprised as fuck. “Last month” he said. I owe him a bunch of extra cash. Funny, I was just thinking that rent should be lowered since I can’t get ahead financially. Fuck a trip to the dentist is a tough pill to swallow. I’m getting insured. I need Life insurance. It would suck to get hacked up and tossed into the trunk of my taxi for “nothing.” All in all I can’t think of a better job. Tonight I drove a couple members of the “Cree Clan.” These kids kicked ass. I wish I could link them up. These dudes were just such nice people. They were from the reserve. They opened for a rapper at the Gas Pump. Looked like it sold out cause the Gas Pump was the only place to get a fare. The Empress too. The last Thursday of every month is a Gay Night. Gays are some great people. I’m really actually comfortable with gay men. I try to shoot the shit with them. I’ve driven lots of gay people, my fare share.
Boring work week? then get another job
Move the fuck along is all I can say. When shit gets you down, just get the fuck up. I met this boxer tonight. Young kid. Well he recently came back from a tournament that he won. That’s what he thought. The judges said it was the other guy. The crowd said it was my fare. You guys ever seen Rocky. Now that’s a great movie. When I was a child I would watch Rocky and then go out and kick all the kids asses. I was the toughest mother fucker on the block. I told my Fare (the Boxer) that if he understood his dream by the time he was 19 he should continue to pursue it. Most people have no Idea who they are. Until they die. Most people are followers and zombies. Boxing is a vicious sport. Brutal. It’s not golf. The kid had his head on straight and he inspired me. Tonight I had a weirdo try to take a dump in the car. He would not give me the address he wanted to go to. A bouncer shoved him into my taxi. He wasn’t all that fucked up, he was just a weirdo. I took him to the west end with the intent of dropping him off at the cop shop. I told him to runaway at the red light or pay the fare. He didn’t run till we were a block away from the west end police station. He never succeeded in taking a shit in the back seat. He never paid me. I love Sundays. Hell I Love anytime I’m not stressing. Stress is going to kill me soon, or a passenger with a knife. Screw the world it’s Monday. How is working the day shift anyway? And remember what I told you, take her to the zoo.
Boring work week? then get another job
Move the fuck along is all I can say. When shit gets you down, just get the fuck up. I met this boxer tonight. Young kid. Well he recently came back from a tournament that he won. That’s what he thought. The judges said it was the other guy. The crowd said it was my fare. You guys ever seen Rocky. Now that’s a great movie. When I was a child I would watch Rocky and then go out and kick all the kids asses. I was the toughest mother fucker on the block. I told my Fare (the Boxer) that if he understood his dream by the time he was 19 he should continue to pursue it. Most people have no Idea who they are. Until they die. Most people are followers and zombies. Boxing is a vicious sport. Brutal. It’s not golf. The kid had his head on straight and he inspired me. Tonight I had a weirdo try to take a dump in the car. He would not give me the address he wanted to go to. A bouncer shoved him into my taxi. He wasn’t all that fucked up, he was just a weirdo. I took him to the west end with the intent of dropping him off at the cop shop. I told him to runaway at the red light or pay the fare. He didn’t run till we were a block away from the west end police station. He never succeeded in taking a shit in the back seat. He never paid me. I love Sundays. Hell I Love anytime I’m not stressing. Stress is going to kill me soon, or a passenger with a knife. Screw the world it’s Monday. How is working the day shift anyway? And remember what I told you, take her to the zoo.
I drove a cop RCMP
The Blog. 101.
I’ve been writing notes on my log, notes that I should blog. Tonight I wrote down Cage the Elephant, Bum-Anus and phone sex. Lots more happened. Unfortunately I can’t really tell you what Bum-Anus is about, I just wrote it down in the Log. Phone Sex is a great little story. Dude gets into my car and says “West end.” Happy dude works the rigs. On the way to his house he gets a phone call. “Hello” Its his girlfriend. She wants to talk to him. He has to explain to her that he’s in the car with the taxi driver and can’t talk. He hangs up. He tells me “I’ve never met her in person but we’ve been having phone sex for six months. I’ve seen pictures, she has big boobs!” I was like “Wow” then I told him he should hook up with her in person. He said ” I know.” He tipped me 5$. Tonight was nice. Smooth. Good music. Cool. I’m trying to relax. I need to step back, writing the blog kind of intensifies the taxi ride. Tonight I was grumpy. I’m weening myself off of sugar and Slurpee’s. Hard Core. Throw the skate board in the trunk. Get old gracefully while trying to succeed in today’s world. I’m going to enjoy the summer. At five in the morning the sun’s already showing his face. And the sun sets, I’ll get one for you guys, a picture.
Burgalor
Last night the kids were cool. I got the kid that was all high on mushrooms. He ate an eighth of an ounce. Then his friends dared him to drink a mickey of Captain Morgan spiced rum in an hour. They told me he came close but did not finish. He was done in the back seat, as soon as we stopped he ran away. Pent up I guess. I had one cabby steal my fare. There were 6 of them, I said “I can only take 4.” I told them “take a couple of taxis cause no car is gonna take 6 people.” He said “Yeah right!” and they all piled in to the other taxi. The other taxi driver let them in and made me look like a fool. So I took a pic. Looking at it, I won’t publish it. The people that piled into the taxi look like they belong to a prominent powerful gang. Actually I feel like that photo was not the best decision. Last night had some good driving. No one was too out of hand. I think it’s all the check stops the cops are starting to put up. I see one at least once a week. It might not make a big difference on a nightly basis but it changes Edomotonians state of mind about drinking and driving in general. Context Baby! I did not get enough rest today. I just want to sleep the day away. Oh yeah……I did I gotta go to work. Write you later kids. Don’t fucking drink and drive. Get High and walk.
Burgalor
Last night the kids were cool. I got the kid that was all high on mushrooms. He ate an eighth of an ounce. Then his friends dared him to drink a mickey of Captain Morgan spiced rum in an hour. They told me he came close but did not finish. He was done in the back seat, as soon as we stopped he ran away. Pent up I guess. I had one cabby steal my fare. There were 6 of them, I said “I can only take 4.” I told them “take a couple of taxis cause no car is gonna take 6 people.” He said “Yeah right!” and they all piled in to the other taxi. The other taxi driver let them in and made me look like a fool. So I took a pic. Looking at it, I won’t publish it. The people that piled into the taxi look like they belong to a prominent powerful gang. Actually I feel like that photo was not the best decision. Last night had some good driving. No one was too out of hand. I think it’s all the check stops the cops are starting to put up. I see one at least once a week. It might not make a big difference on a nightly basis but it changes Edomotonians state of mind about drinking and driving in general. Context Baby! I did not get enough rest today. I just want to sleep the day away. Oh yeah……I did I gotta go to work. Write you later kids. Don’t fucking drink and drive. Get High and walk.
Miss Wild I loved you
Finals. Exams. University is on hiatus for a while. Finals mean sex in the car. Passions thrown at loved ones, or just someone else. Anything to forget about the stress. I never stressed over university. Multiple choice is a JOKE. I hope all you kids out there feel educated. They got drunk. Oh I got drunk at Gob you guys. I even gave the lead singer Tom the URL. After the show we took a taxi to my buddies house. We stopped at the Tops Liquor store to get some beer. I was to drunk so I sat outside the store trying to purge some of the booze I had consumed with absolutely no thought of the consequences. So I’m out there when the clerk (I knew it was a tops clerk cause only brown dudes work there) is being thrown around by another guy. The two were fighting over a bottle. The clerk was getting robbed. I was loaded and trying to puke on the corner of the building (to no avail). The perp got away. The bottle of Crown was stolen. The clerk sat on his stoop and stared up at the sky. My friends said they would be witnesses, but Mr.Clerk said “it’s all on camera.” He went back inside. This morning when I woke up I heard on the news that someone killed a man working at a Spa, then robbed a liquor store. When trying to run away he noticed police and blew his brains out. Weird. The guy that robbed the tops liquor man was a white guy. The murder suicide guy was black. That’s what I heard. There were drugs and alcohol involved. Tonight was fun. Kids where finished finals so they where getting loaded. I had fun with everyone. I drove my gangster girl. It’s been a while since I saw her. To tell you the truth I thought she was dead. Well she’s going to jail for at least five years according to her. She was high tonight. She thought the police helicopter was following me. I never saw it but hey. She said she might make it onto Edmonton’s most wanted. That would be cool. Good thing I paid no attention to where I dropped her off.
I still Remember
A man in Jeopardy from taxitruth on Vimeo.
This too
I was there and wrote about it. Learn to swim!
Globally renowned
After coming home last night I washed my hands. I remember feeling like I just washed the night away. The three grungy drug addicts. The women who just returned to Edmonton from Vietnam. The two men, one a Polish guy I could communicate with and his friend a man that was raised in South America. None of them had anything in common other then I shook all their hands. The first fare was Robin and his crew. The three of them were obviously using drugs and alcohol. No! they weren’t children or young people these guys were veterans. Three suicides. Robin had the money on his bank card (I’ve driven him before, he always withdraws his daily limit and is forced to find a store that gives cash back, like Safeway or Walmart) he was in charge. His crew consisted of a “what looked like”a fifty year old prostitute and a big Indian dude. They were chugging beer. They were working up a massive fare, one they couldn’t pay for unless Robin found a store that would give him cash back. It was already past eleven pm on a Sunday so those stores were all closed. I was getting the feeling that they were going to try to skip the bill. They were to old to run, so the prostitute offered herself as collateral. I wasn’t having any of it. The boys in the back seat laughed when I turned down her offer of love. She was used to it. I drove them around until midnight. The cards withdraw limit is reset at the beginning of a new day. I got paid and they got home safely. I had fun with the old drunks, they were honest people. I could tell they had given up on life. I had to wash my hands after shaking theirs. The women from Vietnam had just returned to North America. She had a baby with a Vietnamese man and never married him. Asians marry people they have children with. She had a hard time assimilating into the Vietnamese culture without having a husband and with a child. She said that if she married the man he would have ended up on the birth certificate and that would have cut her freedom in half. Her husband would have custody of the child and without his permission she could never bring her child back to Canada. She was a strong independent women and global citizen with really nice hands. I wasn’t compelled to go wash my hands after shaking hers. My last fare was a man and his ex brother in law. The ex brother in law was a Polish guy who spoke Polish with me. A language I rarely speak in the Taxi. He was cool. The two were best friends even though the Polish guy divorced the other guys sister. You could tell they were best friends. The other guy was raised in South America. He told me he was shot in Venesuala when he was fourteen. The guy who shot him used a 12 gauge. He said after it happened he woke up at a Shamans house and she healed him. He had the scares to prove it. I asked if I could take a picture but he said “no.” The weird thing was that the dude did not believe in God. He told me the Shaw Women saved his life. I respected his opinion and looked up at the stars and thanked the Almighty that no ones ever shot at me yet.
Crash your car then fuck, Kronenberg style
So I got pulled over on my way home from work. My registration had expired last month. I got a 230 dollar ticket. I’m happy to see the cops are doing something. I wish I could have had an allergic reaction to PIG. I’m sad to say that’s it’s not pulling over crack dealers. Last night I drove a social worker, can you imagine having to try to re integrate a 13 year old gang member that already killed someone. They do that kind of stuff and sometimes succeed. Last night I kept getting kinky text messages from someone. I called them up and it was a guy. I told him that I’m a cabby and the girl that gave him my number was playing him. He kept sending messages. Dirty ones.I had a good night last night. There was one time that I got kind of frightened. I was sent to a north side address and five huge rig pigs came running out. I told them I can’t take 5. They all got in. Rig Pigs are big and they are bullies. On the way to their hotel they wanted to listen to the bounce and they would not take no for an answer. They asked me how much a whore goes for in Edmonton, I said “25$” and that’s a good one. They said since the economy changed Fort Mac Murry girls have lowered the price to 125$ a fuck. Rig Pigs have sex with prostitutes. If you have a husband up there. Suck him off good or he’ll bring home Gonorrhea. I’m happy I still have no respect for the law enforcement in this city, stay safe and have fun. Oh I have a funny one. This guy gets in and gives me his address, I write it in my taxi log. The guy watches me write it then looks at me ans says “Ukrainian GPS” I fucking busted a gut laughing. OH oh there was also a guy who sky dives he was tripping on some shrooms he told me he was going to jump out of a plane in 7 hours. Tubular.
Crash your car then fuck, Kronenberg style
So I got pulled over on my way home from work. My registration had expired last month. I got a 230 dollar ticket. I’m happy to see the cops are doing something. I wish I could have had an allergic reaction to PIG. I’m sad to say that’s it’s not pulling over crack dealers. Last night I drove a social worker, can you imagine having to try to re integrate a 13 year old gang member that already killed someone. They do that kind of stuff and sometimes succeed. Last night I kept getting kinky text messages from someone. I called them up and it was a guy. I told him that I’m a cabby and the girl that gave him my number was playing him. He kept sending messages. Dirty ones.I had a good night last night. There was one time that I got kind of frightened. I was sent to a north side address and five huge rig pigs came running out. I told them I can’t take 5. They all got in. Rig Pigs are big and they are bullies. On the way to their hotel they wanted to listen to the bounce and they would not take no for an answer. They asked me how much a whore goes for in Edmonton, I said “25$” and that’s a good one. They said since the economy changed Fort Mac Murry girls have lowered the price to 125$ a fuck. Rig Pigs have sex with prostitutes. If you have a husband up there. Suck him off good or he’ll bring home Gonorrhea. I’m happy I still have no respect for the law enforcement in this city, stay safe and have fun. Oh I have a funny one. This guy gets in and gives me his address, I write it in my taxi log. The guy watches me write it then looks at me ans says “Ukrainian GPS” I fucking busted a gut laughing. OH oh there was also a guy who sky dives he was tripping on some shrooms he told he was going to jump out of a plane in 7 hours. Tubular.
Hairdressers smoke weed that stinks (like fish)
If only every night could be as decent as tonight. It took me back to the beginning of the boom, there was sex, drugs and rock and roll. My first fare came right out of the Stollery Children’s Hospital. The women had three kids with her. Two of them should have had a car seat but you know cabs don’t use car seats with kids. She didn’t even strap them in she just threw them in the back. Well her 17 year old son was upstairs with his new child. The women I was driving was a grand mother, her teenage son was the proud father of a premature baby boy. The babies mother is 16. She tried to take him out of the Preemie unit, the nurses said that she couldn’t take the child because the baby was still recovering so the 16 year old mother abandoned it. The boy watching the new born upstairs right now isn’t 100% certain that the baby is his, the Grand Ma told me that they were still waiting on the DNA test. The possible other father is the Mothers new boyfriend. After she abandoned her premature child in the hospital she went and smoked meth with her man. This girl has already had three abortions. The women I drove was so proud that her 17 year old son stepped up to the plate of fatherhood without question and judging by the circumstances I was proud of the teen too. If all men could be so stoic. Tonight was awesome, all my personals blew me away, they treated me so well. My last fare was good too. She was a married women who is in the proses of a separation. I asked “why?” She told me she that her and her husband got pregnant but then she miscarried and she was devastated and the husband was happy. He has two children from a previous marriage so it was no skin off his back. His current wife on the other hand had an abortion when she was 17 so this lose hit her close to her heart. Her husband an ex Jehovah’s witness did nothing to comfort her so she slept with his best friend to find some solase. No one knew until she broke down and told her husband (a man who renounced his religion , wife and children) that she cheated on him. Hence the separation. I dropped her off back at their place. It was 4:30 in the morning, what do you guys think happened? O.k now it’s time for rock and roll. I saw a women walking up Whyte ave, I asked her if she needed a taxi. She said “I’m looking to make a couple bucks.” I wondered what she meant. Sorry now it’s time for the Rock and Roll Jake Ian folky, and the Old Wives Club the dude I drove has a wife that’s a lesbian and she is hot as hell. And this guy was with Greater than giants, Everyone Everywhere. Fucking Right, Peace!
Hairdressers smoke weed that stinks (like fish)
If only every night could be as decent as tonight. It took me back to the beginning of the boom, there was sex, drugs and rock and roll. My first fare came right out of the Stollery Children’s Hospital. The women had three kids with her. Two of them should have had a car seat but you know cabs don’t use car seats with kids. She didn’t even strap them in she just threw them in the back. Well her 17 year old son was upstairs with his new child. The women I was driving was a grand mother, her teenage son was the proud father of a premature baby boy. The babies mother is 16. She tried to take him out of the Preemie unit, the nurses said that she couldn’t take the child because the baby was still recovering so the 16 year old mother abandoned it. The boy watching the new born upstairs right now isn’t 100% certain that the baby is his, the Grand Ma told me that they were still waiting on the DNA test. The possible other father is the Mothers new boyfriend. After she abandoned her premature child in the hospital she went and smoked meth with her man. This girl has already had three abortions. The women I drove was so proud that her 17 year old son stepped up to the plate of fatherhood without question and judging by the circumstances I was proud of the teen too. If all men could be so stoic. Tonight was awesome, all my personals blew me away, they treated me so well. My last fare was good too. She was a married women who is in the proses of a separation. I asked “why?” She told me she that her and her husband got pregnant but then she miscarried and she was devastated and the husband was happy. He has two children from a previous marriage so it was no skin off his back. His current wife on the other hand had an abortion when she was 17 so this lose hit her close to her heart. Her husband an ex Jehovah’s witness did nothing to comfort her so she slept with his best friend to find some solase. No one knew until she broke down and told her husband (a man who renounced his religion , wife and children) that she cheated on him. Hence the separation. I dropped her off back at their place. It was 4:30 in the morning, what do you guys think happened? O.k now it’s time for rock and roll. I saw a women walking up Whyte ave, I asked her if she needed a taxi. She said “I’m looking to make a couple bucks.” I wondered what she meant. Sorry now it’s time for the Rock and Roll Jake Ian folky, and the Old Wives Club the dude I drove has a wife that’s a lesbian and she is hot as hell. And this guy was with Greater than giants, Everyone Everywhere. Fucking Right, Peace!
Block Parent
Why would anyone sit in a line this long? Come on it’s not like we’re Communists! 
I had three calls last night. It was officially a lifeless night. DEAD. Dozens of taxi drivers were ready to cut their wrists. Well my last fare was this autistic bar tender from small town Alberta. She was interesting because she had been smoking pot since she was a seven year old. I asked “How?”She said ” Small town Alberta, lots of grow-ops and because I was autistic and my dad was a teacher he was ashamed of me so I was pretty much allowed to do whatever I wanted.” Smoking dope at seven, that’s a new one for me. She also told me about a blind man that sits in Galaxy land in West Edmonton Mall. She said “he once came up to me on the bus and told me he was arrested for being a peeping tom. But he’s blind right? Wrong it’s a dirty charade.” I thought that was a cool story, so if you ever see a blind guy in the women’s washroom in West Ed remember that you can never underestimate a greasy peeping Tom. Hey guess what? There was a murder at the Klondiker. Where’s that? you ask. It’s the Jasper place Hotel. Yep you heard it here first. Oh and there is going to be a new taxi company soon. The taxis are gonna be red. The owner of airport taxi wasn’t making any money since the airport driver started a union. Those sneaky people trying to feed their families. Well the airport taxi contract is up in a year so the owners gonna get rid of that company and start a new one that’s more lucrative. I hope that he does well, unless he mistreats people then he can rot in shit. The company I work for is the oldest in the city, we are King. Guess that makes me ………
Block Parent
Why would anyone sit in a line this long? Come on it’s not like we’re Communists! 
I had three calls last night. It was officially a lifeless night. DEAD. Dozens of taxi drivers were ready to cut their wrists. Well my last fare was this autistic bar tender from small town Alberta. She was interesting because she had been smoking pot since she was a seven year old. I asked “How?”She said ” Small town Alberta, lots of grow-ops and because I was autistic and my dad was a teacher he was ashamed of me so I was pretty much allowed to do whatever I wanted.” Smoking dope at seven, that’s a new one for me. She also told me about a blind man that sits in Galaxy land in West Edmonton Mall. She said “he once came up to me on the bus and told me he was arrested for being a peeping tom. But he’s blind right? Wrong it’s a dirty charade.” I thought that was a cool story, so if you ever see a blind guy in the women’s washroom in West Ed remember that you can never underestimate a greasy peeping Tom. Hey guess what? There was a murder at the Klondiker. Where’s that? you ask. It’s the Jasper place Hotel. Yep you heard it here first. Oh and there is going to be a new taxi company soon. The taxis are gonna be red. The owner of airport taxi wasn’t making any money since the airport driver started a union. Those sneaky people trying to feed their families. Well the airport taxi contract is up in a year so the owners gonna get rid of that company and start a new one that’s more lucrative. I hope that he does well, unless he mistreats people then he can rot in shit. The company I work for is the oldest in the city, we are King. Guess that makes me ………
Block Parent
Why would anyone sit in a line this long? Come on it’s not like we’re Communists! 
I had three calls last night. It was officially a lifeless night. DEAD. Dozens of taxi drivers were ready to cut their wrists. Well my last fare was this autistic bar tender from small town Alberta. She was interesting because she had been smoking pot since she was a seven year old. I asked “How?”She said ” Small town Alberta, lots of grow-ops and because I was autistic and my dad was a teacher he was ashamed of me so I was pretty much allowed to do whatever I wanted.” Smoking dope at seven, that’s a new one for me. She also told me about a blind man that sits in Galaxy land in West Edmonton Mall. She said “he once came up to me on the bus and told me he was arrested for being a peeping tom. But he’s blind right? Wrong it’s a dirty charade.” I thought that was a cool story, so if you ever see a blind guy in the women’s washroom in West Ed remember that you can never underestimate a greasy peeping Tom. Hey guess what? There was a murder at the Klondiker. Where’s that? you ask. It’s the Jasper place Hotel. Yep you heard it here first. Oh and there is going to be a new taxi company soon. The taxis are gonna be red. The owner of airport taxi wasn’t making any money since the airport driver started a union. Those sneaky people trying to feed their families. Well the airport taxi contract is up in a year so the owners gonna get rid of that company and start a new one that’s more lucrative. I hope that he does well, unless he mistreats people then he can rot in shit. The company I work for is the oldest in the city, we are King. Guess that makes me ………
Celexa? Wellbutrin, Sex…….what is it?
Rock stars do not wait in line! 
Tonight was the first night of my work week, aah and what a night. My first fare was a native women with a guy on their way to the Lodge Motor Inn on Stony Plain RD. I want to mention her because she told me about one of her finest moments in life. About ten years ago she was in Hinton Alberta in a Motel. She said she had a big bag of Glass(Meth), a pocket full of cash, every drawer in the room filled with bottles of beer and to top it all of huge sac of mushrooms. She told me this story because as she recalled it was one of the finest moments of her life. What’s yours? Mine is the birth of my Sun. Not many fares after Mrs.LodgeMotor. I was cruising up 82ave when I spotted the boys from Ten second Epic. I had to pull over and wish them a happy tour. They were really nice to me and so I continued up 82 ave. I got another fare. A dude right out of jail, I told him that I had been feeling really angry since the economy crashed. He told me “if you got someone to love, and you got something you want to achieve plus your freedom you ain’t got nothing to worry about.” He was right. I got all those things. One of my last fares was a boy raised by a couple psychiatrists. We had a lot in common, except he was 18. We went to the same high school, and I shared the same type of extracurricular activities as him in my past. Lately I feel 18 again, I feel lost unaware of my destination in life. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been smacked by some solid depression. I feel like things are falling out of my control. I don’t feel safe on the road. I can’t make money. No one cares. So I’ve decided that I’m going to look this adversity right in the eye and be positive. I no longer want to be negative I want to be positive. So after I dropped the psych kid off I parked my car across the street from Filthy McNasties. That’s where the boys from Ten Second Epic party and trust me they draw a crowd. It was the only bar in the city with patrons. I sat there and took photos. I was checking out my work when someone opened the door and sat down. I looked up and saw the lead Guitar player “Dan” from Ten Second Epic. He knows who I am so I asked “Did you know that this was my cab?” He said “No, but hey whats up?” I told him “I don’t believe I got one of you guys randomly.” We chatted and he made it home safe. That made my night. Tonight was a pleasure.
I have been lucky enough to drive everyone in the band except the lead singer. They rock guys so if you have a chance go and see them it’s worth it.
Celexa? Wellbutrin, Sex…….what is it?
Rock stars do not wait in line! 
Tonight was the first night of my work week, aah and what a night. My first fare was a native women with a guy on their way to the Lodge Motor Inn on Stony Plain RD. I want to mention her because she told me about one of her finest moments in life. About ten years ago she was in Hinton Alberta in a Motel. She said she had a big bag of Glass(Meth), a pocket full of cash, every drawer in the room filled with bottles of beer and to top it all of huge sac of mushrooms. She told me this story because as she recalled it was one of the finest moments of her life. What’s yours? Mine is the birth of my Sun. Not many fares after Mrs.LodgeMotor. I was cruising up 82ave when I spotted the boys from Ten second Epic. I had to pull over and wish them a happy tour. They were really nice to me and so I continued up 82 ave. I got another fare. A dude right out of jail, I told him that I had been feeling really angry since the economy crashed. He told me “if you got someone to love, and you got something you want to achieve plus your freedom you ain’t got nothing to worry about.” He was right. I got all those things. One of my last fares was a boy raised by a couple psychiatrists. We had a lot in common, except he was 18. We went to the same high school, and I shared the same type of extracurricular activities as him in my past. Lately I feel 18 again, I feel lost unaware of my destination in life. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been smacked by some solid depression. I feel like things are falling out of my control. I don’t feel safe on the road. I can’t make money. No one cares. So I’ve decided that I’m going to look this adversity right in the eye and be positive. I no longer want to be negative I want to be positive. So after I dropped the psych kid off I parked my car across the street from Filthy McNasties. That’s where the boys from Ten Second Epic party and trust me they draw a crowd. It was the only bar in the city with patrons. I sat there and took photos. I was checking out my work when someone opened the door and sat down. I looked up and saw the lead Guitar player “Dan” from Ten Second Epic. He knows who I am so I asked “Did you know that this was my cab?” He said “No, but hey whats up?” I told him “I don’t believe I got one of you guys randomly.” We chatted and he made it home safe. That made my night. Tonight was a pleasure.
I have been lucky enough to drive everyone in the band except the lead singer. They rock guys so if you have a chance go and see them it’s worth it.
Right back at ya!
My view at night from taxitruth on Vimeo.
Someone thought this video was unsuitable for you tube. It shows a violent act on 82nd ave in Edmonton. The authorities never showed up even though it was in a very public location. I produced this to show Edmontonians what’s happening on our streets. To me this clip depicts a lack of police presence. I would like the authorities to acknowledge that fact, that currently they are not up to par. This clip shows that, if not by the violence itself then by the public agreeing with me that the cops should have been there. I have additional footage of the event. The bar it started at. (it would be a great add) I have footage of the bouncers at that bar allowing the fight to continue and not calling the authorities. This type of occurrence is caused by ignorance. The only one hurt was an innocent female bystander. Who do you blame? Maybe it’s society, but hey don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just doing what my gut tells me to do.
Scott McCord thank you for being my rock and roll last night
HEy I also won 4 tickets to GOB at Show girls
WHo should I take?
I don’t think I got 4 friends.
Scott McCord
I’m really being to nice to the fat bastard
Pink Sox
So what’s up on this night. So much it’s overwhelming. I think the key cause of my stress lately is financial. Not getting what you deserve makes people want to go out and fist one another, get it? Probably not. I drove a professional paint baller tonight from Edmonton Impact. What an awesome person. You would think that someone that shoots paint balls at others for a living might have a mean streak. I didn’t see one, I liked the dude. I also drove around a bunch of kids that were munching on the Mushrooms. They were having a blast, well most of them. One guy just couldn’t get high. He ate and ate the fungus but still nothing. His buddies were too loopy to care. I also drove the guy who actually saw the individual who did the shooting at the fox last summer, I’m only mentioning it because I was interviewed by Scott Fralick, here is the link. Violence Downtown. The guy told me the shooter was a brown guy. I also had another encounter with 911. O.k so I’m making my way up 109st with a fare, he was messed up. We were going to the Y. At about 109st and 79 ave some guy was trying to pass me on the outside lane, which would have been fine if there wasn’t any pylons signaling the fact that the road is undergoing some construction. The guy just plowed into the construction zone. I looked at his face amongst all the flying debris. The guy was angry and in my opinion he did it on purpose. Well he broke most of the lights on the front end of his truck and the car stalled. He pulled onto a one way with the broken down truck. I followed him, my fare memorized the plate number then we called 911 and I started filming. I recorded the whole conversation. The guy got out of the truck and started to walk back to the debris scattered all over the road. My fare and I followed, I continued to film the bad guy, drive the car and speak to 911. I kept asking where the police are? Why is there no check stops? What are the reasons for the lack of crime prevention in Edmonton. My questions fell on dead ears, the female dispatcher would not and probably could not answer them. The EPS is having internal issues but they won’t admit it. Anyway the guy starts to pick up and put back all the construction signs. It took the cops so long that he more or less was able to make it look like he didn’t do anything to the road work area. His car on the other hand wouldn’t start and he could not change that. The asshole couldn’t runaway. It took the EPS about 12 minutes to make it to 109st and 80 ave. A block off Whyte(the busiest and most dangerous bar hopping street in Alberta). This actually happened about 3 blocks from where buddy burn alive about three weeks ago. When one female cop showed up about 5 more cruisers showed up. I began to understand why they are so slow and incapable. The female officer was the only one talking to the criminal. All the other guys stood around talking sometime even sharing a laugh. I had to get out of my car and ask if I could take my passenger to his destination. The officers made me wait till they finished their joke. When they finally approached my ride they told me that the guy was having an allergic reaction to a peanut butter bar. Lies! They said he has an ambulance on the way. I asked “does someone who’s having an allergic reaction and is incapable of controlling his vehicle smash up the road then get out and pick up the mess?” The officer said “Yes.” He also said ” He could also just be a bad driver.” Fuck that. I gave them my number and asked for the police officers name so I can call and ask about the final verdict. (the guy fucking ate a peanut he was allergic to, to get off, and he will cause justice is a whore) My last fare on the other hand was a group of women going to Sherwood park and they brightened the night up for me. Just the happiest people in the world. Good looking too. They Made me feel like a hundred bucks. They put me back on my cabby pedestal, thank ladies.
Judas, Judas, Judas
Who missed me last night? Good? That makes me feel worthy. I had a pretty below average night again. I don’t know, maybe I should have worked Thursday but I just wasn’t feeling it. I guess it was a good night. Friday was like a Tuesday during the booms peak. Hey Albertans remember the boom. About two years ago when everyone and his mother moved here to get a piece of the pie and ended up taking it from you. Ha! That’s the way the cookie crumbles. Tonight I got jacked and it was not in your conventional way. I troll around looking for flags. It’s the way I like to make my money. So I spot this asshole flagging in front of the Funky Pickle. It’s past 4 am and the pizzeria is all locked up. I’m pulling over when some random sedan backs up on 82 ave and picks up this kid. The other car was an ex Co-op taxi and the driver was stealing my fare, from right in front of me. The asshole low balled me and took the kid home. I followed him and got the plate. Picking people up without a permit is illegal. I contacted my dispatch and asked what I could do about it. The worthless dispatcher had no Idea. I drove up to the cop shop and demand an answer. The Operator (the police station was closed too, I had to use a phone that was located on the outside of the building) gave me this number 780 496 5244. Taxi bylaw officer and hopefully enforcer. I’m going to get a hold of her and figure out what I can do to become more involved in my profession and the issues that surround it. I was on my way back to my car when I ran into a couple other drivers. I told them why I wear a camera around my neck all the time. It’s like my gun, people are forced to clean up their act around it so I like to point it at assholes. I’m not afraid of the camera because I behave the same for everyone except around children and really old Grand Mothers. The same foul language the same everything. I know they appreciate it because almost everyone that sits in my taxi enjoys the ride. Most of my readers are people who have been entertained by my rants in the back seat. I guess that’s why I rarely get picked on about my ability to write. People who criticise the blog without ever actually getting into the taxi have no Idea what they are doing. The truth is the blog is nasty, lots of times what I deal with is nasty but anyone exposed to it from my back seat will see it the way I see it night in and night out. I tell almost all my clients to comment, I even tell them to please tell me if it stinks. It’s never happened. Only a person that’s never been on a ride with me would have the audacity to think they could talk shit about who I am. If there is one thing I kick ass at it’s getting you home safe through a world filled with shit. I Plow through that shit with my crown Vic and I make passenger feel like they know me. Like they’ve known me for a long time. Like the ride home was their destiny. Tonight I had a fare who I gave a ride to about three years ago. She remembered me, she remembered the conversation. That’s worth so much to me. Well anyways I met those drivers and I told them about the CBC stuff, the burning alive guy and how the gypsy taxis are eating up our business. One of them looked at me and said I have become an activist and that I should be careful because the Police are going to start trying to break me down. I’m not scared of them. The cops are a joke because the judicial system is a joke not each individual cop. What makes individual cops so insignificant is that they aren’t trying to change anything. They’re like the rest of the world, just sitting around expecting everything to change for them. That’s what makes them so worthless, that they just force us through the shit without making us feel safe. Like eating shit is our destiny. At least that’s the way I feel and I’m the only little white boy out there driving a taxi cause he wants to and isn’t scared. My opinion is for sure unique and I swear I’m just being honest. Like this song, it’s about a women check it out………………<
I watched this fight for a good chunk of time. It happened on 105st and 82 st during prime time. I guess the cops were celebrating the rebirth of Christ. I ate fish even. No meat on Good Friday. No Kisses either, but we all gotta eat.
Judas, Judas, Judas
Who missed me last night? Good? That makes me feel worthy. I had a pretty below average night again. I don’t know, maybe I should have worked Thursday but I just wasn’t feeling it. I guess it was a good night. Friday was like a Tuesday during the booms peak. Hey Albertans remember the boom. About two years ago when everyone and his mother moved here to get a piece of the pie and ended up taking it from you. Ha! That’s the way the cookie crumbles. Tonight I got jacked and it was not in your conventional way. I troll around looking for flags. It’s the way I like to make my money. So I spot this asshole flagging in front of the Funky Pickle. It’s past 4 am and the pizzeria is all locked up. I’m pulling over when some random sedan backs up on 82 ave and picks up this kid. The other car was an ex Co-op taxi and the driver was stealing my fare, from right in front of me. The asshole low balled me and took the kid home. I followed him and got the plate. Picking people up without a permit is illegal. I contacted my dispatch and asked what I could do about it. The worthless dispatcher had no Idea. I drove up to the cop shop and demand an answer. The Operator (the police station was closed too, I had to use a phone that was located on the outside of the building) gave me this number 780 496 5244. Taxi bylaw officer and hopefully enforcer. I’m going to get a hold of her and figure out what I can do to become more involved in my profession and the issues that surround it. I was on my way back to my car when I ran into a couple other drivers. I told them why I wear a camera around my neck all the time. It’s like my gun, people are forced to clean up their act around it so I like to point it at assholes. I’m not afraid of the camera because I behave the same for everyone except around children and really old Grand Mothers. The same foul language the same everything. I know they appreciate it because almost everyone that sits in my taxi enjoys the ride. Most of my readers are people who have been entertained by my rants in the back seat. I guess that’s why I rarely get picked on about my ability to write. People who criticise the blog without ever actually getting into the taxi have no Idea what they are doing. The truth is the blog is nasty, lots of times what I deal with is nasty but anyone exposed to it from my back seat will see it the way I see it night in and night out. I tell almost all my clients to comment, I even tell them to please tell me if it stinks. It’s never happened. Only a person that’s never been on a ride with me would have the audacity to think they could talk shit about who I am. If there is one thing I kick ass at it’s getting you home safe through a world filled with shit. I Plow through that shit with my crown Vic and I make passenger feel like they know me. Like they’ve known me for a long time. Like the ride home was their destiny. Tonight I had a fare who I gave a ride to about three years ago. She remembered me, she remembered the conversation. That’s worth so much to me. Well anyways I met those drivers and I told them about the CBC stuff, the burning alive guy and how the gypsy taxis are eating up our business. One of them looked at me and said I have become an activist and that I should be careful because the Police are going to start trying to break me down. I’m not scared of them. The cops are a joke because the judicial system is a joke not each individual cop. What makes individual cops so insignificant is that they aren’t trying to change anything. They’re like the rest of the world, just sitting around expecting everything to change for them. That’s what makes them so worthless, that they just force us through the shit without making us feel safe. Like eating shit is our destiny. At least that’s the way I feel and I’m the only little white boy out there driving a taxi cause he wants to and isn’t scared. My opinion is for sure unique and I swear I’m just being honest. Like this song, it’s about a women check it out………………<
I watched this fight for a good chunk of time. It happened on 105st and 82 st during prime time. I guess the cops were celebrating the rebirth of Christ. I ate fish even. No meat on Good Friday. No Kisses either, but we all gotta eat.
Macewanblogcamp.fuck you
This is a defensive school
it’s understood that the school of Grant Mac is………
Rejoice again and again
Wee haw. What a night. The temperature is getting warmer every day. I love it. People are out a lining up to get into the clubs. Life is flourishing. Tonight I called 911 on this drunk fuck and to tell you the truth the operator on the other line was magnificent. He was able to keep me calm and even diverted my attention from the lack of police presents on the streets by telling me that the reason police don’t pull over drunk drivers on a regular basis is because they are busy swallowing all the chiefs cum. I’m not telling the truth but the Curb the danger guy was nice and reassured me that the police are really trying to prevent all the street abuse. I really hope so. Tonight I picked up this lesbian from the gay club “play”. She was crying because none of her friends showed up to her thirty seventh birthday party. Not one. So I gave her the pack of smokes someone left in the car and a free ride home. People have been especially nice to me lately. I’ve been a sour apple for the last little while. I’ve been just raging. Well tonight was the last night. I no longer can drive around putting myself under such stress. So what? the roads are full of drunks, crack heads, drug dealers, ignorant cops and all around retarded human beings, who cares? It’s my new attitude “I don’t care.” I can’t wait till the next time I see a cop drive past a women about to be raped, I’m going to drive right past too, and think to myself “She probably deserves it.” Then I’ll laugh just like the pigs. It was really nice tonight, after my anger subsided I was able to relax and enjoy the morning. My last fare told me “Just stay positive and all will be good.” I told them I’d write a post that is happy and forgiving. How did I do? Hey did you know that Kurt Cobain blew his head off like fifteen years ago today. Fuck I’m getting old but the Oilers won and Britney Spears is coming tomorrow.
Rejoice again and again
Wee haw. What a night. The temperature is getting warmer every day. I love it. People are out a lining up to get into the clubs. Life is flourishing. Tonight I called 911 on this drunk fuck and to tell you the truth the operator on the other line was magnificent. He was able to keep me calm and even diverted my attention from the lack of police presents on the streets by telling me that the reason police don’t pull over drunk drivers on a regular basis is because they are busy swallowing all the chiefs cum. I’m not telling the truth but the Curb the danger guy was nice and reassured me that the police are really trying to prevent all the street abuse. I really hope so. Tonight I picked up this lesbian from the gay club “play”. She was crying because none of her friends showed up to her thirty seventh birthday party. Not one. So I gave her the pack of smokes someone left in the car and a free ride home. People have been especially nice to me lately. I’ve been a sour apple for the last little while. I’ve been just raging. Well tonight was the last night. I no longer can drive around putting myself under such stress. So what? the roads are full of drunks, crack heads, drug dealers, ignorant cops and all around retarded human beings, who cares? It’s my new attitude “I don’t care.” I can’t wait till the next time I see a cop drive past a women about to be raped, I’m going to drive right past too, and think to myself “She probably deserves it.” Then I’ll laugh just like the pigs. It was really nice tonight, after my anger subsided I was able to relax and enjoy the morning. My last fare told me “Just stay positive and all will be good.” I told them I’d write a post that is happy and forgiving. How did I do? Hey did you know that Kurt Cobain blew his head off like fifteen years ago today. Fuck I’m getting old but the Oilers won and Britney Spears is coming tomorrow.
check stop-Jasper 124st- Africa
Ha hahahahah that’s my evil laugh. Tonight I dropped by the Grant MacEwan College. They were putting on a blog boot camp. There is a link but I don’t know it. Well I dropped in and presented all the organizers with my card and the URL to the taxitalk. Well they announced it to the room of marathon bloggers. One of the people participating stepped up and said “Hey I’m “Ben” I read your blog.” I was tickled pink. Well all the people there were cool. That’s what I though. A few hours later I got a phone call from Ben, the kid who read my blog he said to me “A great injustice has accrued, The boot camp was a contest for a Mac book. Whoever received the most hits got the book. I got over 220, the winner of the Mac book only got 202.” He was robbed. Those bastards stole his Mac book. Ben, life is a bitch. Last night I had to drive around a lot of ungrateful assholes, except as soon as they sat in the back of my Cab their lives went from empty, boring and ugly to “Hey we have a magical cabby!” Yes kids I am more then just and asshole that drives a cab I’m a ……pansy that needs to get a better education but not at that two faced school Grant MacEwan College. I heard they treat people from other countries like nobodies. My last fare was a 16 year old, cooked! out of her mind on something. Her diabetic friend decided to stay home and not go visit with a bunch of twenty somethings. I can never understand how adults can chill and do drugs with children. This 16 year old told me she had a rough week. For some reason I said “pregnancy” she said “yes I just had an abortion, my boyfriend wasn’t ready. We broke up.” Yeah and you killed a baby. I don’t care what you pro choice mother fuckers think a 16 year old should not be allowed to have an abortion and then turn around and go fuck another worthless jerk off that feeds her illicit drugs. For all I know that kid in her ignorant gut was the new Jesus sent here to burn down the establishment.
I might be a hypocrite. This might be endless
check stop-Jasper 124st- Africa
Ha hahahahah that’s my evil laugh. Tonight I dropped by the Grant MacEwan College. They were putting on a blog boot camp. There is a link but I don’t know it. Well I dropped in and presented all the organizers with my card and the URL to the taxitalk. Well they announced it to the room of marathon bloggers. One of the people participating stepped up and said “Hey I’m “Ben” I read your blog.” I was tickled pink. Well all the people there were cool. That’s what I though. A few hours later I got a phone call from Ben, the kid who read my blog he said to me “A great injustice has accrued, The boot camp was a contest for a Mac book. Whoever received the most hits got the book. I got over 220, the winner of the Mac book only got 202.” He was robbed. Those bastards stole his Mac book. Ben, life is a bitch. Last night I had to drive around a lot of ungrateful assholes, except as soon as they sat in the back of my Cab their lives went from empty, boring and ugly to “Hey we have a magical cabby!” Yes kids I am more then just and asshole that drives a cab I’m a ……pansy that needs to get a better education but not at that two faced school Grant MacEwan College. I heard they treat people from other countries like nobodies. My last fare was a 16 year old, cooked! out of her mind on something. Her diabetic friend decided to stay home and not go visit with a bunch of twenty somethings. I can never understand how adults can chill and do drugs with children. This 16 year old told me she had a rough week. For some reason I said “pregnancy” she said “yes I just had an abortion, my boyfriend wasn’t ready. We broke up.” Yeah and you killed a baby. I don’t care what you pro choice mother fuckers think a 16 year old should not be allowed to have an abortion and then turn around and go fuck another worthless jerk off that feeds her illicit drugs. For all I know that kid in her ignorant gut was the new Jesus sent here to burn down the establishment.
I might be a hypocrite. This might be endless
Whooreallure for men
Its been too long since my last post. Last night my first fare had no money was drunk and high as a mother fucker. He jumped on the hood of my ride then rolled off and into the mud. He did not even make it into the car. Then while minding my own business in my lane I spotted a speeding Mercedes in the rear view. Since we’re in a recession and I have nothing better to do I signaled into the speeders lane. Totally legit. The bitch behind me blew a gasket. She wanted to get in front of me so bad. I had a smile on my face. Nothing like pissing off a rich bitch while you’re not making any money. Well she eventually made it into the lane next to me. She pulled up “You think that’s defensive driving I’m gonna report you to….” she began to threaten me. She shut her trap as soon as I pointed my Canon G10 at her face and said “I’m filming you.” Nothing like getting a rich twat to shut her pie hole. Lol. She was no longer such an asshole driver either. Funny how cameras shut people up. They’re like guns but without the jail sentence. Tonight the Union Hall gives out free money. They actually hand the customer a 20$ bill. Tonight it was only a 10$ bill but still “Free money.” So I dove these kids to Lister hall. They were all happy because a crew of them gathers and collects as much cash from the Bar as they can get and then they leave. Last week they made 80$ so they bought a quarter of the Kush “Tuna”. Last night they did not make the whole 80$ but they made enough to buy a bag and pay me. All right boys fuck the Union Hall they’re a Capital stand.
Whooreallure for men
Its been too long since my last post. Last night my first fare had no money was drunk and high as a mother fucker. He jumped on the hood of my ride then rolled off and into the mud. He did not even make it into the car. Then while minding my own business in my lane I spotted a speeding Mercedes in the rear view. Since we’re in a recession and I have nothing better to do I signaled into the speeders lane. Totally legit. The bitch behind me blew a gasket. She wanted to get in front of me so bad. I had a smile on my face. Nothing like pissing off a rich bitch while you’re not making any money. Well she eventually made it into the lane next to me. She pulled up “You think that’s defensive driving I’m gonna report you to….” she began to threaten me. She shut her trap as soon as I pointed my Canon G10 at her face and said “I’m filming you.” Nothing like getting a rich twat to shut her pie hole. Lol. She was no longer such an asshole driver either. Funny how cameras shut people up. They’re like guns but without the jail sentence. Tonight the Union Hall gives out free money. They actually hand the customer a 20$ bill. Tonight it was only a 10$ bill but still “Free money.” So I dove these kids to Lister hall. They were all happy because a crew of them gathers and collects as much cash from the Bar as they can get and then they leave. Last week they made 80$ so they bought a quarter of the Kush “Tuna”. Last night they did not make the whole 80$ but they made enough to buy a bag and pay me. All right boys fuck the Union Hall they’re a Capital stand.
You are not the cure, ther is none
Someone recently told me that if I really like driving a taxi so bad I’m gonna have to ride this bad economy out and wait for the good times to come back. Fuck that. I love driving people around not the taxi. I love being on the road and seeing life first hand. I drove this scientist tonight. She studies the effects viruses have on the brain. HIV imparticular. She told me that people infected with the HIV complain about how their peripherals hurt. That’s all the brain sending messages. I think our society has HIV. I think our social immune system is gone. We have no morals anymore. Those that do are always in pain cause no one cares. The cops were a joke today. A real joke. I don’t understand what’s happening on the streets. It’s more then just the economy it’s the people. The cells. They are tainted. We are tainted. I can’t wait till everything falls apart, maybe then my sun can rebuild this world and have a chance to live in a real human-virus free society. Maybe then. Fuck when is that bastard Jesus coming back to have his revenge. I bet you he’ll have red eyes and lasers. Is it cool watching the world die or what?
You are not the cure, ther is none
Someone recently told me that if I really like driving a taxi so bad I’m gonna have to ride this bad economy out and wait for the good times to come back. Fuck that. I love driving people around not the taxi. I love being on the road and seeing life first hand. I drove this scientist tonight. She studies the effects viruses have on the brain. HIV imparticular. She told me that people infected with the HIV complain about how their peripherals hurt. That’s all the brain sending messages. I think our society has HIV. I think our social immune system is gone. We have no morals anymore. Those that do are always in pain cause no one cares. The cops were a joke today. A real joke. I don’t understand what’s happening on the streets. It’s more then just the economy it’s the people. The cells. They are tainted. We are tainted. I can’t wait till everything falls apart, maybe then my sun can rebuild this world and have a chance to live in a real human-virus free society. Maybe then. Fuck when is that bastard Jesus coming back to have his revenge. I bet you he’ll have red eyes and lasers. Is it cool watching the world die or what?
Imagine his face…….
That wasn’t you. Was it? Strange night. It’s getting hard to judge if the financial situation is getting any better. Less people out, but there is still enough. Gas is getting more expensive. There’s a bastard crunch. I secretly like when gas goes way up. Those big trucks you see, that arrogance disappears. My style of driving stays the same. I have been using between 30 to 50 liters of gasoline a night(sometimes more) for almost four years. I am a consumer and I’m getting older. I fucking love to drive. Taxis are cool, but my taxi guzzles gas and I don’t care. Tonight just ended at three am. Nothing. No more fares. So I pulled up to the Y after hours. ugly place. This little chick was standing on the road, I pull up she gets in. Gives me a south side address. On the way there she starts yelling about how no man was going to yell at her. The bouncers said she was fucked up and kicked her to the back of the line. She got hurt and jumped into my cab. Her phone rings “I told you guys I was leaving, no one cared. You want me to come back? NO Man screams at me! You really want me to come back? O.k.” I turn the car around and head back. “The Y’s dangerous stay safe” I tell her. It was my last ride. When i returned to the Y after hours to drop her off there was a line up of about 20 taxis. WHO fucking lines up? It’s what you do when you’re desperate. I never line up. I drive further away. Sometimes risks don’t pay off. I used to go to Therapy.
Imagine his face…….
That wasn’t you. Was it? Strange night. It’s getting hard to judge if the financial situation is getting any better. Less people out, but there is still enough. Gas is getting more expensive. There’s a bastard crunch. I secretly like when gas goes way up. Those big trucks you see, that arrogance disappears. My style of driving stays the same. I have been using between 30 to 50 liters of gasoline a night(sometimes more) for almost four years. I am a consumer and I’m getting older. I fucking love to drive. Taxis are cool, but my taxi guzzles gas and I don’t care. Tonight just ended at three am. Nothing. No more fares. So I pulled up to the Y after hours. ugly place. This little chick was standing on the road, I pull up she gets in. Gives me a south side address. On the way there she starts yelling about how no man was going to yell at her. The bouncers said she was fucked up and kicked her to the back of the line. She got hurt and jumped into my cab. Her phone rings “I told you guys I was leaving, no one cared. You want me to come back? NO Man screams at me! You really want me to come back? O.k.” I turn the car around and head back. “The Y’s dangerous stay safe” I tell her. It was my last ride. When i returned to the Y after hours to drop her off there was a line up of about 20 taxis. WHO fucking lines up? It’s what you do when you’re desperate. I never line up. I drive further away. Sometimes risks don’t pay off. I used to go to Therapy.
Eve forgot the title
Tonight was the shit. I was expecting a world filled with drunk drivers, whores and shitty street corner tambourine shakers. I got to witness the cops actually stopping drunks tonight. I have this suspicious feeling that people in the mainstream media are reading the blog. Since I wrote about the farm house last week dozens of articles have sprung up in the Journal about cops turning a blind eye to crime. Well whatever it was it made a difference tonight. I hope that the traffic police continue to behave the way they did last night. It was a pleasure. Plus with all the intoxicated drivers getting their cars taken away I got to drive home the idiot passengers that were expecting a drunk ride home. The thing about people not expecting to take a cab is that they tend to have no money. Some twit kid, high as a kite on the blow and so loaded that he had spittle all over his designer cloths gave me a Nixon watch for a ten dollar fare. The watch is worth 225$. He had to break into his buddies house because buddy was under arrest for driving impaired. See cops I’ll tell the people when you actually do your work. Keep it up you guys might make this a decent city after all. Now you would think a 225$ watch would make my miserable little life good right, well it gets better. Last night I pulled up to the Urban Lounge, I got a flag. It was some long haired dude. He had that sweet sounding Southern accent. Fuck I dig that noise. So I knew he was not from Edmonton. Turns out he was from Mississippi. He was really upset when he got in so I made him laugh. Then I pulled up to his tour bus. the Mother fucker was from Saving Able. I got to get on the tour bus to take some pics to prove to you guys that I met the drummer Blake. What a cool guy. Well the next fare I got was these two sexy soccer players from Lethbridge Alberta. I was so excited to have driven a rock star I told them. One of the girls was not surprised. Do you know what she told me? “I slept with the guitar player.” Fuck! I thought I counted but my first fare after meeting the drummer was a chick that got nailed by the guitar player. What are the chances?
I have this personal who reads me. Well while he was in Mexico he met this sexy nurse, she caught him reading my blog and said “I read taxitalk too.” He said “I’ve been in his taxi.” She thought that was great. Tonight I drove the two of them. Sexy nurse lady said she was expecting me to be some sort of muscle head but I was just little old me. The posts can get rough in this economy, but trust me there is more sex, drugs and rock and roll to come just keep coming back cause this blog helps me feel like a productive human being. Remember if your life sucks it’s your fucking fault. Now listen to this and Keep6.
Eve forgot the title
Tonight was the shit. I was expecting a world filled with drunk drivers, whores and shitty street corner tambourine shakers. I got to witness the cops actually stopping drunks tonight. I have this suspicious feeling that people in the mainstream media are reading the blog. Since I wrote about the farm house last week dozens of articles have sprung up in the Journal about cops turning a blind eye to crime. Well whatever it was it made a difference tonight. I hope that the traffic police continue to behave the way they did last night. It was a pleasure. Plus with all the intoxicated drivers getting their cars taken away I got to drive home the idiot passengers that were expecting a drunk ride home. The thing about people not expecting to take a cab is that they tend to have no money. Some twit kid, high as a kite on the blow and so loaded that he had spittle all over his designer cloths gave me a Nixon watch for a ten dollar fare. The watch is worth 225$. He had to break into his buddies house because buddy was under arrest for driving impaired. See cops I’ll tell the people when you actually do your work. Keep it up you guys might make this a decent city after all. Now you would think a 225$ watch would make my miserable little life good right, well it gets better. Last night I pulled up to the Urban Lounge, I got a flag. It was some long haired dude. He had that sweet sounding Southern accent. Fuck I dig that noise. So I knew he was not from Edmonton. Turns out he was from Mississippi. He was really upset when he got in so I made him laugh. Then I pulled up to his tour bus. the Mother fucker was from Saving Able. I got to get on the tour bus to take some pics to prove to you guys that I met the drummer Blake. What a cool guy. Well the next fare I got was these two sexy soccer players from Lethbridge Alberta. I was so excited to have driven a rock star I told them. One of the girls was not surprised. Do you know what she told me? “I slept with the guitar player.” Fuck! I thought I counted but my first fare after meeting the drummer was a chick that got nailed by the guitar player. What are the chances?
I have this personal who reads me. Well while he was in Mexico he met this sexy nurse, she caught him reading my blog and said “I read taxitalk too.” He said “I’ve been in his taxi.” She thought that was great. Tonight I drove the two of them. Sexy nurse lady said she was expecting me to be some sort of muscle head but I was just little old me. The posts can get rough in this economy, but trust me there is more sex, drugs and rock and roll to come just keep coming back cause this blog helps me feel like a productive human being. Remember if your life sucks it’s your fucking fault. Now listen to this and Keep6.
Death is Here
So I was thinking about exploiting something cause tonight I only had three fares and one of them paid me with his birth certificate. His name was John.
Death is Here
So I was thinking about exploiting something cause tonight I only had three fares and one of them paid me with his birth certificate. His name was John.
K.O. We have a crack den, score
Hey, hey, hey. What’s up boys and girls? I bet you all of you stayed in last night. Good for you. It was slow. I got a text last night form a fare. She manages a business, well anyway one of the guys that works for her was one of the three gay guys that had oral sex in my back seat. Small world. I’m getting around like a little slut, that’s for sure. So tonight I had this women, a native lady tell me she almost killed another girl in the boxing ring. She said it scared her so bad she had to hang up the gloves. I told her she was deadly and she should go back in the ring and kick some serious ass. Oh and I drove this dude, he got in on 124t and 102 ave. He was going to the Jasper place, he had no money. I’m a generous guy on Sunday nights. Well he told me this story. He said “One of my Roommates ripped off this nigger on 107 ave bout two weeks ago. For the crack you know. Well they retaliated, they drove by our house and unloaded 57 bullets into it. I slept through the whole thing.” Fuck imagine stealing crack and then having people come to your house and shoot it up.It’s been slow so that’s it. I’m tiered. If you want me to wake up, rip off some gangster on 107 ave and tell him you live at …
Just because you love it don’t mean you have to like it
Sunday morning is nice. Religious. I had an uneventful evening a grumpy early morning. I saw some guy get beat up. My personal clients ruled. The kids on cough syrup were cool too. I snagged a pic of the dilated pupils. Man don’t you wish you were 19? Oh you are. Well then grow up and get a girl pregnant so your life is over. I love the sun. I love snow storms. I took some professional pictures yesterday. When I showed them off in the car I was asked by someone to do some head shots. God thanks for Sunday. Last night my bad behavior was accepted by the public. All I did last night was drive around cursing out the cops, the bars, the radio stations, and the girls. I drove fast last night. This weekend was kind of a topsy tervy one. I did suport a local musician who was selling his record Corvid Loraxcheck it the fuck out. Peace people. Remember you are the cure against bad driving. The Canadian government paid me to tell you that. If you cut me off I’ll shoot you asshole.
four legs and a gun good, two legs bad
Constable Napoleon is a worthless mother fucker. Him and Chief Snowball do nothing but jerk each other off. The whole time drunk drivers cruise around the city causing chaos the pigs just sit around and guzzle their mash laced with greed. I was almost killed dozens of times tonight. The first day of spring seems to have given birth to a world filled with drunk drivers and ignorant pigs. The writing on the barn wall is beginning to change and most of the animals have no idea because they put blind faith into the system that’s run by swine. Oh and they’re sheep. Pigs are brain workers, worthless apple eating pieces of shit that do nothing but sit there and ponder how unimportant their jobs are. The last I checked the law said drinking and driving is illegal, but last night I witnessed so much of the opposite that I think the rules changed. Our city is an awful dirty mess. I know it’s hard for the people behind the law to understand but that’s because they are ignorant rat bastards. The guys behind it all are the type of animal you just can’t educate, they are wild. They are criminal. You are allowed to drink and drive in Edmonton Alberta. The bigger your truck is the faster you are allowed to move. I was thinking about how I can make the pigs understand that the streets are not being maintained. The only way I see it is, if someone gets real drunk gets in his truck and slams head on with a Pig cruiser. Maybe then the animals that watched the guy get in his truck and drive off will realize that it’s not the drunks fault it’s the systems. For creating a Police force of invalid cops. The only problem with that lesson is that you don’t even see pigs on the road. The only thing that drunk asshole is destined to hit will be some poor innocent cabby trying to feed his family. He’ll wind up dead, the drunk will survive. The Pig will pull up to the scene with his face covered in Pig Mash (Tim Horton’s) and say “what a shame I just saw that drunk driving badly up the road but I was to lazy to give a shit because I fell asleep in the Farm House. Hahaha check stops are out of the question because they are just to much work. We don’t prevent crime. Us pigs we salute criminals in the city.” They do, that is until somebody runs into their families car, drunk, fuck who cares. We all go to Sugarcandy Mountain when we die.
black forest ham
Tonight, tonight was another Thursday night. Not too eventful. I had this one fare, she gets in and says “South Bend Motel.” The Fare looks about 17. Young and strung out. In a deep haze. You could tell. I asked her where she was from. “Grand Prairie. Can I smoke?” I said “Sure”. Then I see her in the rear view, crouching down low in the seat. I do the shoulder check and sure enough there she is heating up the crack pipe. I didn’t say anything, I just rolled down the window so she could exhale the toxic fumes. Then I said “I thought you meant a cigarette.” She just smiled and took another hit. Crack head. She smelled like a young prostitute. I got her out. Room 30 at the South Bend on Calgary trail. As I was pulling away from the grimy motel I noticed another women flagging me down from room 13. I pull up and before i could even say anything a little lady jumps in the cab and say “here is 5 bucks for pulling over, you can go.” The lady was tweaking like a son of a bitch. High as a kite. So I’m sitting there and she’s telling me to go but she ain’t getting out. She was too strung out to realize how she was behaving. She kept asking me “close the window, look the doors.” Then she told me “I used to be a prostitute but I don’t do that anymore.” Then she gave me 15 bucks and told me to get her a pack of smokes. I did. When I came back her and the John were ready for me to take them through the McDonald’s drive through for some milk shakes and a coke. I was given a switch blade as collateral. The women insisted on tipping the drive through boys 20 dollars. She asked me what I wanted I said ” I already have my hands full with you.” She laughed and said “then we’re gonna need a condom.” That was kinda of scary but I laughed at her. She smelt like a working girl too. I gave her back the knife. After the two of them got out I felt like I was hung over from being exposed to so much crack headedness. Spring is here kids, and with it come horniness. No joke, spring seems to be the time women go crazy for men. I’m guessing it’s about being possessed in the sun or something. Life’s good kids go get laid use some condoms. Stay safe and avoid the fucking crack, the motels, the whores and the knifes cause there is so much more to this world other then sex and violence. It’s just that the sex is so good with the violence right.
Post Man
I drove this stripper tonight. She got in and the first thing she said was “Oh my God you’re a fucking white dude!” I looked back to see a seventeen year old looking girl talking to her friend on her cell phone. She told me where she was going. We started talking. She was still talking to the dude on the cell too. She said “I like to have someone on the line with me. You never know taxi drivers can be creepers.” She was right. I asked her what she does. “I’m a stripper” she yelled, “you couldn’t tell?” I said “you look seventeen.” We both laughed. On the way to her house she kept giggling about how I was a white guy driving taxi. She even said I was driving my dads cab. Then she told me that she is Bi Polar. I said “I’m Bi Polar too.” Well I was diagnosed as bipolar, but fuck what do doctors know. At least psychiatrists. She told me that she had been committed once, I laughed and told her I was committed twice. It was a sweet ride, even though she had some dude on the phone for the whole time. Is a stripper a whore?????………. That’s a toughy. I also had this girl show me her belt buckle it said “It’s not gonna lick itself.” Then she took off her pants. I took a picture. It’s not x-rated and it’s kind of artsy. Ill have it up soon, this PC I’m using is having a hard time dealing with my SD card my mac is in shop.
What’s the difference
Men the women were fucking horny tonight. One after the other, so many girls in the car crying out “I need a man.” I got lucky tonight, I did good. I made a shit load of cash. Thank God the recession is over. No probably not, but tonight was one of the better nights of the last two and a half months. Edmonton really looked good. I love the nights when people are out and getting hammered and then fist fighting for a taxi. Only God can paint that kind of picture. Or maybe it was the Oilers game. So the ladies were having trouble getting the guy down their pants. Strange! not really, who doesn’t know that Alberta’s blue collar boys aren’t in to one night stands. I had a fare out to SheerWood park. Two girls, one of them was almost in tears that she did not bring home a boy from the bar. Her Friend told her to get a boy toy, and whenever she needed some action to just call him up. Her friend is in the middle of a divorce, she also left her camera and cell in the car. I can’t wait to see her again. My last fare was another couple. They had ordered two taxis. I showed up first. I had no Idea it was a two taxi deal, so when they asked me if there was another taxi on the way I said “No.” They both got in, they were both going to different ends of the city. The women was unbelievably attractive. Bomb shell. She gets and says to me “I’m going to be the highlight of your night.” I told her bout the blog. She told me that she’s going to get her boyfriend from the West Edmonton Mall. It was 4:30 am the mall was closed. I said “Your dude is drunk sleeping in his car and your going to drive him home right?” She smiled and said “I can’t drive stick.” The drunk guy was going to drive her home. She was a very outgoing women. She told me and the guy in the back seat that she is head over heels for this guy. She said “He has me wrapped around his little finger.” She was so hot, I imagined some sort of Casanova surrounded by class and culture. When we showed up at the mall he was leaning up against the parking lot concrete wall. He was done, he looked like a drunk thug who was stuck outside for a few hours after the bar closed. I pulled up, he got in “We need to go to Shanks (a west end sports joint) to get my car.” That’s the first thing he said then he looked at his girl and said “Why do you smell like a horse?” You could tell that hurt her feelings. He kept behaving like an asshole the whole way to Shanks. When we pulled up to his car he threw me a credit card and said “Pay the cab fare up to here plus pay for this kid to go home.” I told him that combined the fares added up to 60$. He put 80$ on the card. I bet your thinking wow what a generous offer. As he was signing the credit card slip he joked about how it’s his dads Visa. That girl was wrapped around the guys finger. She was such an interesting fare, before we got there she told us about how she liked him even though he never pulled her hair when they fucked. Me and the guy in the back seat laughed. She had a full set of hair. What I don’t understand is why she would take such abuse. She had self esteem and she was smart, at least I thought so. Until of course she got in a car with a drunk psychologist boy. Cause a man dosen’t spend his dads money.
I don’t do dope, I’m drug tested
All the drugs I’ve been snorting are making me Impotent…… I’m joking. No I don’t do drugs and no I’m not Impotent. My problem is that I can’t make any money. I’m out there ready to work but the work just isn’t there. Sure I have dozens of personals and all of them are so generous and awesome, but most of the work load seems to be driving around pissed drunk. I don’t even care about all the shitty driving, I’m too worried that I won’t make the rent. (It’s not that bad…yet). I can pay the rent but I haven’t been able to set any money aside for my suns college education in the last couple months. (That’s a lie too) O.k. o.k all jokes aside business is in the gutter. I just don’t have all the clients I use to. So the blog is taking the hardest hit in this economic crisis. I had a fare last night, a couple. They needed to stop at the bank, on the way there the guy told me he just lost his job “I was laid off.” They needed to stop at a bank to get money, they both insisted that the ATM at the New Wave was the best choice. The New Wave is the type of bar you go to to get shanked. She went in and left her boyfriend. She never came back so boy toy went in looking for her. They both came back, but it took a long time. The bank machine wasn’t pumping out any cash for the two of them. I drove them to the convenience store. Again they wasted a chunk of time to come back and tell me that the bank machines must all be busted. Yeah right and they were really millionaires. So much time flushed down the midnight latrine. Well I made it home alive tonight. Like my ex girlfriend always liked to say “It’s better then a kick in the head.” But being poor blows. I think someone threw a hot dog at the car. It might have been vomit, but I doubt it. I love Rock and Roll. AIM
Jerk off or die
I told you guys about that girl who works in the rub and tug, she told me she hasn’t had a client in three days. She is not able to pay her rent. Taxi is slow too. Driving up 82 ave or Jasper is depressing. Cabs cruising around with their top lights shinning bright, begging for any passengers to fill their seats. The temperature was good tonight. People are out getting drunk their just waddling back to their trucks and driving home loaded instead of taking a safe ride home. Global the TV channel has been airing my short video clip of the guy burning alive. They didn’t give me any recognition but that doesn’t bother me. Linda Steel was the person that confirmed that the guy who hit that post and got Barbecued in front of me had died. The police are investigating weather or not he was drunk. The police did confirm speed was an issue. They knew he was driving erratically because he passed them at a suicidal pace and all the cops did was salute the guy. I don’t know about that but I’m sure that if they saw a drunk speeder they would do nothing because that’s what the judicial system seems to make cops do….. nothing. I don’t have very much to talk about. The crazy lady with mascara all over her face who couldn’t read and was twitching due to drug use. She hired me at two thirty this morning to drive her to visit her dieing brother in the hospital. I wonder what he’s gonna think when his forty four year old sister walks into his room in the middle of the night so fucked up on drugs she’s psychotic. It might put a smile on his face. She was crazy but nice.
ever been to Newfoundland
So the city is a big circuit board and running up its concrete veins is me the Electricity. Tonight the city was seriously out of batteries. Most of the night felt like I was trying to suck the life out of a 9 volt. When I was fifteen I lived in Saudi Arabia. My mom worked for the King Fahd National Guard Hospital. Because she was a women she wasn’t allowed to dive a car. Not only was she not allowed to drive she wasn’t allowed in a car with a man that wasn’t her husband. Different culture. They had taxis in Saudi but they were called Limos. I forget what kind of car they were. The drivers were from India and Pakistan and places like that. Western women were allowed to travel using the taxis. I’m sure there were rules. The night I landed in Riyadh was the first time my mother could leave the airport without an official escort. At fifteen I was allowed to drive. Being a boy I was allowed pretty much whatever I wanted. I could buy cigarettes, a buck a pack. Did you know they have public executions in Saudi Arabia? Every Friday night in (what the westerners called it) chop chop square. My mom never let me attend. In Saudi if you’re caught with drugs you can loose your head. In Saudi a bottle of Jack Daniels (this is ten years ago) can set you back like 700$. I remember driving around in the limos, I remember because in Saudi they ran red lights. Hard Core. No joke. I never got a car. I never got drunk or high. Hey Shout Out Out Out Out is more then gravy
Lobster Mania
Yes kids it’s Sunday. I work. I fucking work Sundays. I think there is lots of people who’re working Sundays these days. My job is very vulnerable. I make money off of fun. People who have the time and cash to play late at night. About 5% of my fares are on their way to work. The rest are going out to party. I cater to the kid in us. I love the inner child. I am a strong believer you have to nurture the fuck out of the little devil in us. Lately the money’s been kinda thin. Seems his allowance has been reduced. My income has been cut in half. I still love driving. I have such a great base of clients I can always make ends meet. But I’m standing still, the taxi is becoming a job. The work is beautiful, but money’s been a bitch. I like Sundays, I go into them not thinking about cash. I love to listen to Allan Cross on the radio. I like the Radio. Since paying the bills is such an awful stresser, the radio plays the pleasant roll of relaxer. Music is amazing. Even a song you’ve heard a thousand times before can make you feel in tune with the situation. Rock and Roll was designed to listened to behind the wheel of a car going the right speed at the right time. I had this girl in my car, her Dad is President of the West Edmonton Music Society, I asked her to let me into the scene. She said she might. She was a tough chick, sharp as a knife. Sometimes I can’t get the individual to settle down. You know become one with the Crown Vic. With me. Maybe there was too much snow. The roads are horrible. One thing that’s been asked of me in the last few months is “You want to smoke a joint?” I don’t. I wouldn’t. Last night two women as old as my mom wanted to puff the magic dragon in the car, with me. Nice ladies. Most people argue with me, the other night this guy ran into his house without paying me so I’d follow him inside and smoke the bong. I followed. He paid and he tipped me twenty bucks and I ran away before he could find his pipe. So many people smoke herb in this nation. The pot heads are great, but coke just seems to add excitement mixed with booze. Do drugs get drunk and call a cab.
You on the pill?
I can spot a coke head from a mile away. I can smell the kind of weed you smoke. I can see that you sell crack. I can feel that he just broke your heart. I know you. I am a jack of something. I’m not just a taxi driver I’m a photo journalist. I know things you don’t. I know things you want to know. I know things you’re afraid of understanding. All I do is drive you around. I love you. I wish I made a bigger difference in the world. I wish you did too. I am not an optimist. I am one of the nicest people who works the night shift. I am one of the best taxi drivers on the planet…. in the universe. I am cocky. I am king. I am arrogant. I pick on Polacks. I hate people who drink and drive. I am an adrenaline junky. Watching someone die did not leave me speechless. It should have. I am a coward. I read the writing on the wall. I am a man. I’m not scared of people. I live in love. I drop into life like a half pipe. I win some I loose lots. I give and give and give. If you offer me money while I’m working I’ll take it. I won’t kiss you if you’re ugly. I think girls that dress slutty are hookers. I am attracted to slutty looking girls. I have never even thought about picking up a street walker. I pick people up off the streets. I have witnessed countless drug transaction. I am not a rat. I’ve called 911. I respect my elders unless they are high, or oil and gas jerk offs. I believe in everyone. I hate humanity. I can’t wait till tomorrow, cause I love what I do. I love that you read me, thank you.
Fucking plows had a termination deadline
No new post. It’s Thursday. It was. Friday morning. Can’t wait for Friday night cause Thursday was normal I mean Not bad. The weather sucked. Its cold again, -23. The taxi is warm. A total perk. I get to choose what, when, where and how I devote my time to my job. Taxi driving. Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat, Sun are my hours. I can’t guarantee shit but if I say I’ll be there I’ll be there. I like to sometimes take Wednesdays off, Sundays too, sometimes. But lately I can’t. I do, but money is tight. You gotta work. Ride the road. First fare. The fare I got before I got a Slurpee and Mentose fuel up at the sev, was a very short trip. Less then five bucks. I couldn’t break her twenty dollar bill. “Free Ride” She got my card and got out. My second fare had change. I started my shift. An old client called me. She works in a massage parlor. She’s just now turning twenty one. I met her when she was almost nineteen and she told me she was a hooker. She is one of my best clients. She saw me driving and sent out a text. I picked her up. Score. Later the short trip lady called me back. Tb’s pub. I got there in ten minutes. She gets in and we go up to 152 st and wait for a crack deal. She picks up two hundred bucks worth. While I’m driving her to her house 2$ away she hands me a twenty and says “Is that enough.” It was more then enough. Then while we were waiting for the red light to change she looked at me and said “I’m a working girl.” I was like “oh. You should stop that!” She disagreed and said she’s getting a number tomorrow. She said “If you know anyone who wants to fuck just call me up.” See kids I get propositioned by whores to pimp them out. It’s getting tougher and tougher economically. The twenty one year old girl said “I only had one client, and he was a cheap bastard.” I don’t know if a thirty seven year old crack head hooker would make very much money. I bet there is going to be more hookers, with the economic crunch and all. Tonight was cool. Melo. I didn’t feel the crunch.
Sunday night is not a good night to die
Tonight was new, a life changer. Tonight was a Sunday night that led into a Monday mourning. Tonight was more then just last night. I drove a dude who works for the Emergency Medical Services. EMS. Well he told me a story about this domestic dispute that he had to respond to. The Women wanted to press charges so the RCMP went to arrest the man for beating his women. Well on their way there they were shot at by the guy. He had a high powered riffle. The EMS guys had to stand down while the RCMP swat team came to the rescue. The dude was a looser he would not stand down. A few hours later they heard a muffled gun shot. Suicide! At least it was over, the stand off. When they entered the house the man was laying on his floor mumbling “I need help, I need help.” The high powered riffle took off half his face and he survived. The RCMP picked him up and put him on his porch. With Half his face missing the EMS jumped to action. “Stars AIR Ambulance was called in. The guy died on the way. I thought wow I don’t get to see anything that gruesome ever. He showed me pictures. I kept driving. Later I came across a gang of hoodlums about to fight outside the Rockstar Bar on 109st. I quickly grabbed the camera to get footage. I had to erase some of the older stuff on my memory card, it was OK thought. I didn’t miss a thing the bouncers in stab vest broke it up. I kept moving up 109st south bound. I was still holding my Camera in my hand when I saw a car on fire. I was glad I made room for some video. I start recording and as I approach the car I see a bunch of kids bouncing around. I got out of my car and screamed “Someone call 911 Fuck!” Someone was already making the call. As I got closer with the camera I realized the kids were jumping around the car trying to get someone out.”Oh MY GOD” the dude was still inside. My camera ran out of memory. The man inside the vehicle kept burning. He kept burning for a long time. People were frantically trying to get him out. Breaking windows. The door was fucked up. They could not pull him out cause he was wearing a seat belt. No ambulance no cops, Nothing. He was burning alive. There was a group of us, about 8 people. We watched the man burn. His face was on fire. All I could do was curse the cops, they have been tolerating the drunk driving. I don’t know if this guy was drunk when it happened but by judging the level of damage he was speeding fast. Still no cops, there were kids throwing snow in the car trying to keep the flames off the guy. No use. At a certain point I saw a piece of his face fall off. Very traumatic. People were surrounding a car that was on fire. Big flames. I thought the truck was going to blow up. I was beginning to realize we were going to watch a man burn alive. Very scary, incredibly surreal. I felt nothing at the time except contempt for the EPS, Edmonton Police service for not acknologing the amount of driving under the influence in Edmonton. No check stops nothing ever, just propaganda scattered all over the media. All lies. I watched the man burn for a long time. Everyone backed off because they were scared the car would blow. Still no help. One of the onlooker was a cop who tried to tell me that the cops can’t do anything. She was full of shit. While the truck was on fire in front of us with a man slowly burning to death she told me “our judicial system protects the criminal”. I told her “then write a blog about it and tell the public the truth.” I’m trying to change my world by telling anyone who gets in my cab about my blog that tells people about what really happens. How come there is no cop out there trying to spread the God honest truth? Pussy’s! that’s why they’re cops. Fuck the system. I don’t know if the guy that was in that truck was drunk, but at that moment I hated the system. The Ambulance finally arrived. They were not able to put the fire out right away. It was hot. They guy must have been in the inferno for seven to eight minutes. Then the ambulance came and he was in the car for another 10 on top of that. The fire department had to pry open the door. The man was removed, he was twitching. I remember seeing his face for that second….it was falling apart. I don’t think he is gonna want to survive. I don’t think he will be able to. I prayed. I prayed as I watched him get taken out, I prayed the whole time it was happening. I prayed the whole way back to the west end, I prayed as I was driving behind a couple of teenage boys swerving around the road. They were drunk, they tried to conceal it as soon as they realized I was following them. I followed them for a long time. I prayed that a police cruiser would drive by and stop them. Never happens. I did not curb the danger. I called 911 with a fare last night, the dispatcher on the other line made me feel guilty about calling in a drunk. So I watched these boys in front of me. I prayed they didn’t kill anyone but themselves.
Sunday night is not a good night to die
Tonight was new, a life changer. Tonight was a Sunday night that led into a Monday mourning. Tonight was more then just last night. I drove a dude who works for the Emergency Medical Services. EMS. Well he told me a story about this domestic dispute that he had to respond to. The Women wanted to press charges so the RCMP went to arrest the man for beating his women. Well on their way there they were shot at by the guy. He had a high powered riffle. The EMS guys had to stand down while the RCMP swat team came to the rescue. The dude was a looser he would not stand down. A few hours later they heard a muffled gun shot. Suicide! At least it was over, the stand off. When they entered the house the man was laying on his floor mumbling “I need help, I need help.” The high powered riffle took off half his face and he survived. The RCMP picked him up and put him on his porch. With Half his face missing the EMS jumped to action. “Stars AIR Ambulance was called in. The guy died on the way. I thought wow I don’t get to see anything that gruesome ever. He showed me pictures. I kept driving. Later I came across a gang of hoodlums about to fight outside the Rockstar Bar on 109st. I quickly grabbed the camera to get footage. I had to erase some of the older stuff on my memory card, it was OK thought. I didn’t miss a thing the bouncers in stab vest broke it up. I kept moving up 109st south bound. I was still holding my Camera in my hand when I saw a car on fire. I was glad I made room for some video. I start recording and as I approach the car I see a bunch of kids bouncing around. I got out of my car and screamed “Someone call 911 Fuck!” Someone was already making the call. As I got closer with the camera I realized the kids were jumping around the car trying to get someone out.”Oh MY GOD” the dude was still inside. My camera ran out of memory. The man inside the vehicle kept burning. He kept burning for a long time. People were frantically trying to get him out. Breaking windows. The door was fucked up. They could not pull him out cause he was wearing a seat belt. No ambulance no cops, Nothing. He was burning alive. There was a group of us, about 8 people. We watched the man burn. His face was on fire. All I could do was curse the cops, they have been tolerating the drunk driving. I don’t know if this guy was drunk when it happened but by judging the level of damage he was speeding fast. Still no cops, there were kids throwing snow in the car trying to keep the flames off the guy. No use. At a certain point I saw a piece of his face fall off. Very traumatic. People were surrounding a car that was on fire. Big flames. I thought the truck was going to blow up. I was beginning to realize we were going to watch a man burn alive. Very scary, incredibly surreal. I felt nothing at the time except contempt for the EPS, Edmonton Police service for not acknologing the amount of driving under the influence in Edmonton. No check stops nothing ever, just propaganda scattered all over the media. All lies. I watched the man burn for a long time. Everyone backed off because they were scared the car would blow. Still no help. One of the onlooker was a cop who tried to tell me that the cops can’t do anything. She was full of shit. While the truck was on fire in front of us with a man slowly burning to death she told me “our judicial system protects the criminal”. I told her “then write a blog about it and tell the public the truth.” I’m trying to change my world by telling anyone who gets in my cab about my blog that tells people about what really happens. How come there is no cop out there trying to spread the God honest truth? Pussy’s! that’s why they’re cops. Fuck the system. I don’t know if the guy that was in that truck was drunk, but at that moment I hated the system. The Ambulance finally arrived. They were not able to put the fire out right away. It was hot. They guy must have been in the inferno for seven to eight minutes. Then the ambulance came and he was in the car for another 10 on top of that. The fire department had to pry open the door. The man was removed, he was twitching. I remember seeing his face for that second….it was falling apart. I don’t think he is gonna want to survive. I don’t think he will be able to. I prayed. I prayed as I watched him get taken out, I prayed the whole time it was happening. I prayed the whole way back to the west end, I prayed as I was driving behind a couple of teenage boys swerving around the road. They were drunk, they tried to conceal it as soon as they realized I was following them. I followed them for a long time. I prayed that a police cruiser would drive by and stop them. Never happens. I did not curb the danger. I called 911 with a fare last night, the dispatcher on the other line made me feel guilty about calling in a drunk. So I watched these boys in front of me. I prayed they didn’t kill anyone but themselves.
I love my west end crew you are the best (you guys should start a swingers club)
What a fucking night. So Union Hall, a haven for the restless and Young. I pick up a foursome. Two dudes and a couple of ladies. They were kicked out of the last cab for not giving money up front. I found this out while we were driving past the other taxi and one of the Dudes (the hockey player) mooned the other driver. While I was driving them to St.Albert the boys became progressively worse, they started to seriously put down the girls. The hockey player told the girl up front to suck my dick. I told him he’s acting like an asshole. The girls were older then the boys. I didn’t understand how a couple of women could be hanging around such abrasive spineless fuckers. The boys kept ragging on the girls. The one in the front seat got hurt when the other guy said she was a slut. He laughed at her when she said “that night someone drugged my drink, I don’t remember what happened” the boys just kept laughing at her. Then we dropped the first girl off. The two bozo’s got out to piss. I told the girl in the front that she should not hang out with these lowlifes. I also believed that the worthless fuckers were going to try to ditch the fare. I told her. She took out her ten bucks. The fare was at 40$ by then. None of them had any money. The one girl gave me her 10 but that wasn’t going to cut it. The hockey kid tried to sweet talk her after she left. I was left alone with the other guy, I asked him for money. He had non, he even said “should I run now?” I got out of the car and yelled to the girl “listen If these boys ditch me I’m coming back to your place with the police.” Asshole hockey puck kid came running back. He had 20$. By the time I got the last kid home the fare was 60 bucks and the kid was so angry he had to use his moms credit card to pay his own bill. Worthless rich St.Albert kids. Hey chick from the front seat, you don’t have to listen to me, but after you left you both were degraded by both of the boys. So if you decide to maybe go out with the hockey puck kid, he’ll drug your drink and watch his whole hockey team Gang Bang you. Be wise girl ditch the idiots and find yourself some decent company. That other girl, she was dumb too. They said they were going to egg her house.
That almost destroyed a really good night, but I trucked on. I trucked on to this classy hotel, and picked up these two. At first I thought I was picking up one girl I was stocked, but then her massive boyfriend came. I started telling them about St.Albert and how pissed I was and how I could not wait to write my angst out on the blog. Then the dude said “You got a blog, I’ll give you something to write about.” This guy was a stud, big looked rich and his woman was drop dead gorgeous, no word of a lie. So he says “we just came back from a night out with a swingers club.” My jaw dropped. I was thinking this bombshell of a women is a swinger. Then he said “You play games with the other couples to warm up. You pick out a number and you do what the list tells you to do” he laughed a little. “Some people got, suck her tits, another couple pulled kiss passionately, I pulled bend your women over and fuck her hard.” My jaw dropped again. I was astonished at how open they were. Then he said “I couldn’t do it, she was on her knees sucking me off but I couldn’t get hard while 22 other people watched.” I told him I understood. Sex can be a scary thing especially in front of over twenty people. They explained how they became swingers. Wow was all I could think. They were a young couple. A sexy young couple who just came back from fucking a room full of people, that was one of my most unique fares. Thanks guys.
Watch your nipples fall off
SO you guys want a horror story, well then go to the cinema. What happened tonight is not that exciting. My first fare barfed. Good thing I got convenience bags. Bada boom, super puke savers. First he got it all over the side of the car(the outside). We were on the Yellow head and he stuck his face out into traffic and hurled. Beautiful sight, rugged. Yes, midterms are finito. Kids get fucked up right after the test. I drove these two dudes from North Carolina, I fucking adore Americans. They seem to understand what they are in the world. These guys wanted a good time so they went to the Ranch. The 25 year old picked up a thirty something women and convinced her to get him some blow. I told him Canadian blow consists of Meth. He was like “guess I’m gonna get real messed up” and laughed. His buddy picked up a younger lady, neither of them could think about anything else other then doing some rails then smoking some Canadian chronic and banging some local tail. You go boys, Hit that shit. Just remember if they can hook up all the drugs under the sun you might get burnt. Need to double wrap that money maker cause those wives you got at home I’m sure are waiting for your sunshine STD free. Stay safe though, and cheat on your women. Yesssss. I think I’m kind of a chauvinist pig. I love women, but I don’t understand them. The taxi lets me watch people from such a unique perspective. I fall in love with most of my clients, I love the honesty and the speed I establish a relationship. I don’t really fall in love I just totally submerse myself in their lives. As best I can and sometimes I don’t want them to leave. They get the fuck out though and I go on my merry way, love or no love the recession is gonna blow us out of the water.
PS
Fuck Fort Mac! (that comes from almost all the fares I’ve driven that lived there as children) it’s going to be a scare in Canadian history. But hey just take another crack hit you’ll forget about it, then cheat on your spouse. And don’t tell me that doesn’t happen I drove her home last night from his place sucker.
Watch your nipples fall off
SO you guys want a horror story, well then go to the cinema. What happened tonight is not that exciting. My first fare barfed. Good thing I got convenience bags. Bada boom, super puke savers. First he got it all over the side of the car(the outside). We were on the Yellow head and he stuck his face out into traffic and hurled. Beautiful sight, rugged. Yes, midterms are finito. Kids get fucked up right after the test. I drove these two dudes from North Carolina, I fucking adore Americans. They seem to understand what they are in the world. These guys wanted a good time so they went to the Ranch. The 25 year old picked up a thirty something women and convinced her to get him some blow. I told him Canadian blow consists of Meth. He was like “guess I’m gonna get real messed up” and laughed. His buddy picked up a younger lady, neither of them could think about anything else other then doing some rails then smoking some Canadian chronic and banging some local tail. You go boys, Hit that shit. Just remember if they can hook up all the drugs under the sun you might get burnt. Need to double wrap that money maker cause those wives you got at home I’m sure are waiting for your sunshine STD free. Stay safe though, and cheat on your women. Yesssss. I think I’m kind of a chauvinist pig. I love women, but I don’t understand them. The taxi lets me watch people from such a unique perspective. I fall in love with most of my clients, I love the honesty and the speed I establish a relationship. I don’t really fall in love I just totally submerse myself in their lives. As best I can and sometimes I don’t want them to leave. They get the fuck out though and I go on my merry way, love or no love the recession is gonna blow us out of the water.
PS
Fuck Fort Mac! (that comes from almost all the fares I’ve driven that lived there as children) it’s going to be a scare in Canadian history. But hey just take another crack hit you’ll forget about it, then cheat on your spouse. And don’t tell me that doesn’t happen I drove her home last night from his place sucker.
Ten Second Epic Ruled
I need a distraction, I need to find another way to write a killer blog and make money. I need a faster car. I need to start selling drugs to make ends meet. I need to drop a bomb on this city. I wish I was God, Fuck!
No fucking money and it’s so cold I have become suicidal. One of my personal fares gave me a great story. The Columbus Blue Jackets were in town to play the Oilers. We kicked ass I’m sure. Well during his visit Jared Bowl was sad and lonely and he met up with this one client of mine. Now she isn’t one of those girls, but when he threw her his digits she just couldn’t resist. She called him and a few minutes later found herself drinking with some friends and a bunch of hockey players. SO she shoots a couple back and out of nowhere Jared Bowl throws her into a closet where she gives him a blow job and he fucks the shit out of her. I asked “was he any good?” She said “I don’t know I was too drunk.” Well I’m happy she remembered that much it was a good story. She’s hot too, I always wonder why she’s single. I can’t fucking stand hockey players. Maybe because I’m out pushing hack for jack shit and the kid not only makes a shit load of cash a year but all he has to do is toss his number on a bar to score. Life.
The York, fucking York Hotel, I recommend it to any new comers to Edmonton. It’s a first class Hotel. Close to downtown and all the amenities, including the cop shop. So I pick up a fine couple there. Mr.Morrison and a whore. Ugly manly whore, but Mr. Morrison digs it. I drive them to a liquor store on Stony Plain Rd. They both get out to buy the booze. On the way back they need to stop into Brados (another classy west end joint). When they finally came back Mr.Morrison had this to say “J” that’s what he called me “J, have you ever had to hang the rat out a bit?” I said “yes” paused “don’t we all?” Then Morrison said “well have you ever had a pip squeak pop out the other side while you were pushing.” I said “sure it could happen to the best of us.” Then he told me “I didn’t even realize what was happening till the sucker started to stretch the cotton.” Fuck Mr.Morrison shit his pants. The whore kept laughing, I’m guessing she couldn’t wait for the rim job she was destined to do when the beer is done. I’m awful, but I’m the best.
My Brother is a Genius
Engineers who work for oil companies are, in my opinion as useless to mankind as all the kids that are getting out of school with a welding degree(is there such a thing). Sorry kids but fuck there is only so much pipe to weld. Maybe some of those sell out engineers can whip up something for you kids to glue together with metal. If not why don’t all you welders weld us up some jail cells so we have a place to throw all the sellout Fort Mac supporters. Cause we all know that in the future, I mean I hope all the pigs that supported the oil sands will be punished. If its good for the economy but bad for life then it’s got to go. Fort McMurray: Tar Sands from Space check it out engineers, that is if you can pull yourselves away from the teenage ass at the Union. I’m sure working in Fort Mac has only made you guys a much more cultured bunch then the teenage boys those girls usually want to fuck. But hey all that money you make selling out mother nature is well spent on the blow. Keep it up guys, I’m sure our environment is in good hands with men like you around to engineer up new ways to destroy her homeostasis. Enough about the dirty oil bastards. What happened tonight………..not much. Have you guys ever heard of a FauxMo Sexual. It’s a guy who goes to gay bars to fuck the straight ladies. You see he pretends he’s gay and then he pounces on the girl that wants to set him straight. Ha. Lots of nice people tonight. I drove a bunch to St Albert, the only reason I’m mentioning them is because they are going to see the Kings of Leon and I’m very jealous. I’m going to see Ten Second Epic tonight. Starlight room. I’m stocked. I’m gonna get fucked and take a cab and blog about it loaded. Some kids in the car were all fucked up on Pregabalin they said that any drug connoisseur would really enjoy it. You hear that drug addicts, go break your back or something.
Ticket Master. Drove a manager. O.k so what ticket master supposedly does is add a surcharge to the ticket price. The surcharge is 13 dollars. The thing about it is the whole thirteen bucks doesn’t go to Ticket Master. A percentage goes to “Others”. I guess the promoters get big cuts. Sometimes they use charities to produce a larger gain on the surcharges. Ticket master is just getting the brunt of it because it was the middle man. Ticket Master was just there to make money. Imagine if Ticket master was controlled by a guy that wanted as many kids as possible to see Kings of Leon, or even Ten Second Epic. Imagine if Ticket Master Cared. Imagine if the engineers cared, then I’m sure we would need more welders and a lot more bands.
Women love motor boats
Thank You Very Much, this letter means very much to me, no joke
I count the money I made when I get home. Fuck lately I’ve been avoiding it. Tonight was a good night for me. Lots of laughs. Lots of drugs. First group, two English dudes. They thought I was gay cause I told them that three dudes once blew each other in the back seat. I drove them to Joey Tomatoes on Jasper where they got a patron/drug pusher of the bar to come out and sell them some Canadian cocaine. I’m calling it Canadian cocaine because it’s been cut with every dirty cleaning product under your sink, and then they add Meth. The Meth adds the extra zinger. Canadians usually can’t tell the difference because not many have traveled to Columbia. These English dudes thought the coke was good, I don’t think they’ve ever been to South America either. Well anyway they snorted the blow in the back of the cab, on their way to suit 69. I wonder, if I’m gay cause three dudes fucked around in the back, am I a drug addict cause some English fellows snorted blow in the back. You tell me boys. They lost a gram in the back seat but they were so high from the first snort of crank they didn’t care about the lose. Then there was this group of young teenage boys. Nirvana was playing while they were getting in. “Where you guy’s going” I asked, with the music blaring in the background.”St Albert” on of them answered. I turned “Drain you” up full blast. The song ended. We started to talk. The young dudes realized I’m one of the best cab drivers they were ever going to have, they asked me to stop at a bank. While we searched for a ATM I found out the boys were hopped up on Acid. Yes the LSD Lucy in the sky with Diamonds is what they said. All three were tripping balls, but I wasn’t a downer. People tripping on hallucinogens can be scary. To tell you guys the truth, during the boom the only drug that showed it’s face was Cocaine and Crack (brother and his cheap whore sister). The last few weeks the mushrooms and the LSD have been bobbing around. I don’t know how I feel about that. Those types of drugs (Psychedelics) fuck people up in a manner that makes them less predictable. Irrational, erratic, fun and scary all at the same time. These boys were planning to rip a cabby off, but God sent them me, they paid me cause they wanted to. I was a trip for them. Then there was the Gang girl. She is still around. I really like her. You guys she is a gorgeous women. Dark skin, nice eyes, great body and a crack habit she just can’t keep under wrap. I bought her a sandwich and drove her for free. She told me stories I can’t write down, they’re about the gangs. Fuck now I know to much. Way to much. I started asking her why she won’t get out. I told her that she could use her looks to snag a guy with a future. I told her she could get away. She said “I wouldn’t be happy.” I looked at her and said “No one is. it’s a dream, its a metaphor, its a chase and lady all you got to do is run.” She smiled. I asked her “Is there more to it, is there something busted up there in that head of yours?” I was implying some sort of abuse might have occurred in her childhood. We talked about her dad, who never abused her, but never gave her the love she wanted. Well that’s what I got out of what she said. I like her a lot. She’s interesting and has stories about sex, drugs, gangs violence and even murder (no joke) but she is going to die on the streets if she doesn’t run away. I hope I get to see her again, she’s a friend. My Dad called me tonight. Late, from the Airport, he needed a taxi, sorry Pops, sorry I couldn’t be there for you.
Women love motor boats
Thank You Very Much, this letter means very much to me, no joke
I count the money I made when I get home. Fuck lately I’ve been avoiding it. Tonight was a good night for me. Lots of laughs. Lots of drugs. First group, two English dudes. They thought I was gay cause I told them that three dudes once blew each other in the back seat. I drove them to Joey Tomatoes on Jasper where they got a patron/drug pusher of the bar to come out and sell them some Canadian cocaine. I’m calling it Canadian cocaine because it’s been cut with every dirty cleaning product under your sink, and then they add Meth. The Meth adds the extra zinger. Canadians usually can’t tell the difference because not many have traveled to Columbia. These English dudes thought the coke was good, I don’t think they’ve ever been to South America either. Well anyway they snorted the blow in the back of the cab, on their way to suit 69. I wonder, if I’m gay cause three dudes fucked around in the back, am I a drug addict cause some English fellows snorted blow in the back. You tell me boys. They lost a gram in the back seat but they were so high from the first snort of crank they didn’t care about the lose. Then there was this group of young teenage boys. Nirvana was playing while they were getting in. “Where you guy’s going” I asked, with the music blaring in the background.”St Albert” on of them answered. I turned “Drain you” up full blast. The song ended. We started to talk. The young dudes realized I’m one of the best cab drivers they were ever going to have, they asked me to stop at a bank. While we searched for a ATM I found out the boys were hopped up on Acid. Yes the LSD Lucy in the sky with Diamonds is what they said. All three were tripping balls, but I wasn’t a downer. People tripping on hallucinogens can be scary. To tell you guys the truth, during the boom the only drug that showed it’s face was Cocaine and Crack (brother and his cheap whore sister). The last few weeks the mushrooms and the LSD have been bobbing around. I don’t know how I feel about that. Those types of drugs (Psychedelics) fuck people up in a manner that makes them less predictable. Irrational, erratic, fun and scary all at the same time. These boys were planning to rip a cabby off, but God sent them me, they paid me cause they wanted to. I was a trip for them. Then there was the Gang girl. She is still around. I really like her. You guys she is a gorgeous women. Dark skin, nice eyes, great body and a crack habit she just can’t keep under wrap. I bought her a sandwich and drove her for free. She told me stories I can’t write down, they’re about the gangs. Fuck now I know to much. Way to much. I started asking her why she won’t get out. I told her that she could use her looks to snag a guy with a future. I told her she could get away. She said “I wouldn’t be happy.” I looked at her and said “No one is. it’s a dream, its a metaphor, its a chase and lady all you got to do is run.” She smiled. I asked her “Is there more to it, is there something busted up there in that head of yours?” I was implying some sort of abuse might have occurred in her childhood. We talked about her dad, who never abused her, but never gave her the love she wanted. Well that’s what I got out of what she said. I like her a lot. She’s interesting and has stories about sex, drugs, gangs violence and even murder (no joke) but she is going to die on the streets if she doesn’t run away. I hope I get to see her again, she’s a friend. My Dad called me tonight. Late, from the Airport, he needed a taxi, sorry Pops, sorry I couldn’t be there for you.
love the red shoes/ Obstacle
Tonight was a generally happy night, lots of personals. Mostly my own clients, new and old. There was this couple. These two girls from Nova Scotia, they were drunk. One of them told me she made out with another Cabby so he’d knock 3 bucks off. After she kissed him he offered her a free ride for another kiss. She did it. I’d take the money and run. One of the fares took my money and ran. It was a great situation. SO I’m waiting outside a bar. On the Rocks. The only reason I’m there is because I’m second in line. That bar pumps out work. The clientele is clean. Lots of International flare there, fun people. Tonight was quiet but people were in the Bars. I waited in line, it’s something you have to do lately. I don’t do it often. I remember I saw the girl before she even left the bar. I saw her stumbling around inside, through the windows. I knew she was next. SHe was tossed in by a Spanish Fellow. SHe sat up front. SHe actually forced herself into the front seat. The dude sat in the back. He told her to tell me her address, she didn’t want to tell me. It was because of him. SHe had been stringing him along probably the whole night and then she forgot his name. SHe pointed the direction she lived in and we drove that way. We got the guy out to not far from the bar, she was reluctant to go anywhere with him. As soon as he got out I asked for the address. SHe said “I want to get fucked up I want cocaine.” Then I said ” You can’t stand up straight, you are fucked up, go home.” SHe was the touchy feely type. Harmless, but close. Weird. Stuff like that doesn’t happen to people at work too regularly. I’m not hot but I’m cute and sometimes fares get close. It’s a rush for sure but not something that can ever be acted upon. This chick was laying it on hard. SHe wanted coke. I told her “we could go to 711″ she smirked. Hands poking at me. I told her “you’re lucky that you got in my cab, someone else might take you seriously.” She had this twenty dollar bill in her hand. SHe lived downtown not far from the bar. She worked up a 18$ fare. She was stalling the whole time. Just drunk, trying to get me to do drugs with her. The girl wasn’t a hooker or anything. I sat there, looking at her as I was parked in front of her high rise and notices the scares. She was showing a lot of skin. Slutty like. The scares were cuts. She was a cutter. The most intense one was on her neck. She was toast. Fucking drunk, trying to get me to go upstairs with her and do drugs, have sex. I told her she was crazy. SHe knew it, she had also seemed to misplace the twenty dollar bill. I told her I’d help her get inside then I asked “where is the 20 bucks.” It was on the floor board, it fell as she was getting out of the car. SHe fucking took that twenty dollars and ran on me. Showed me the finger and ran away on me. I got out of the car and asked her if she’s really ditching me. SHe did. Fucking money, the trip was worth it, it was intense. I get tempted with stuff all the time, it’s thrilling. Over coming moral obstacles is the most difficult part to my job.
Now I have these clients. Well it’s this one chick from Lister hall. She’s spending reading week in the dorms. The University residence is a hard core building. 1800 mostly adolescent teens living amongst each other. This chick is cool. SHe has this friend from PEI I think. Tonight her friend danced. She was wild. Awesome. She rocked out to “Turbo Lover” by Judas Priest. It was sweet one of those moments of innocents. Youth.
Get Bent
Again very few fares to tell you about. The Economy is changing, or maybe it’s because of reading week. The U of A is out for spring break and that’s where the money is made. Nice young naive university children and their huge appetite for sex, drugs and a safe ride home. Yeah right!So tonight was kind of another joke but I got some good stories. There were these two nice ladies traveling to Cuba. They told me that they once had a friend go there with her just married sister. Since the sister was not going to cheat on her new husband, the other sister needed to get laid by a Cuban man in secret. As not to create some sort of jealous tension I guess. Well one day during the vacation one of the lost pieces of luggage that that the married sister had brought and lost on the way had arrived. This gave the horny sister a half hour to go find a Cuban to plow her. Well I guess according to my fare she found one. The Bartender. They told me he fucked her on one of the tables at the restaurant. In a half hour. They also told me that later that night her and her sister ate supper at the same table. Who doesn’t wish they were in Cuba right now?
Hey did you guys hear, Obama hit up Canada? Do you know what he called Alberta’s Oil sand production, “Dirty Oil?” That’s right! See if Oil was a drug Saudi Arabia would have oil that’s like Cocaine. Now that makes Alberta’s Environmental catastrophe oil “Crack.” Is that what you were going to say. Wrong! Well Alberta is cheaper then crack our oil is the equivalent of dirt trailer park Meth. Fucking greed took us so deep. Well I hope Harper likes swallowing ex presidents Bushes toxic cum. We all know the Canadian government was sucking off the Bush administration. Fuck Harper, now he’s going to have to blow the black President and hopefully it’s going to be a bigger shaft to deep throat. Harper is a greedy whore, and so is anyone that thought that the Oil sands were a good way to feed their families. Mrs.Karma is going to get you don’t worry. Oh I saw police chief Mike Boyed walking his K9 last night on 82 ave. I wanted to chase him down and give him my blogs URL so he could read about his inadequacies as a leader but my fare was still in the car.
I also drove this chick that promotes event notorious-events
precious, you guys there is so much more to it
First fare of the night was priceless. Ok, Gollum and two dudes strait out of the Remand center got in my car. The reason I am calling the guy Gollum is because he had long, long hair but he was seriously going bald. He was older and he was definitely holding on to his precious. He sat up front. The two in the back seat were like these two kid with no money hanging off Gollum. You could tell they had been drinking the whole day. One of the guys in the back just got out of jail, yesterday. He was put away for possession of stolen property. They let him out of jail and the first thing he did was get drunk with Gollum. Now they were in my car and they needed cash. They had 40$ on them just in case they couldn’t get anymore. Now Gollum had his precious bank card, but he had withdrawn his account limit through the ATMs so he was looking for a store that did cash back. The Safeway, the Shoppers and the London drugs in Jasper Place denied him any cash back. Probably because he looked like Gollum, but a Gollum that had been drinking for like two years straight. The dudes in the back kept suggesting we go to the Wallmart on 185th street and Stony Plain Rd but Gollum wasn’t having any part of the Wallmart Idea. “It’s too far away” he kept yelling. Then he’d say “I can do this without you guys” in an angry but childish voice and the criminals in the back would shut their traps. Gollum had the card hence he was buying their crack. I asked the dude (the thief) why he didn’t just go home. He told me he was staying with his Grand Mother and she was just no fun. I urged him to go home. I told him the crack is just going to lead back to the pen. He told me that they were going to piss test him next week, but he plans on drinking enough booze in the next few day to flush everything out of his system, including the life. We pulled up to the Safeway at West mount and Gollum got out. He went in to get the cash back. We all had our fingers crossed this was going to be the place. When Gollum came back holding a 24 pack of Coke Classic and a fat ass smile we all knew he had finally tapped into his bank account. Their final address was 108ave and 95 street. The Crack area of Edmontons city center. They were going to visit the thief’s mom. They all liked me very much. I had to give them all the pound. They were my first fare. It was fun and Gollum tried to leave me a 24 pack of coke but I told him to fuck off and take his pop to Mamas.
Change you’re future Ours
SO this is my current view on the situation. The Economy is changing. People are losing jobs. Here in Edmonton. Tonight was February 14Th. valentines day! Dude tonight it was almost impossible to find a fare. Work, lots of circling with no address to got to. No money. Scary No money. People were out. Partying. I had a few fares. Everyone I drove showed me love. But the fares are scarce this season. I’m not used to it. Lots of traffic. The city is changing. Slowing down. One of my fares was a teacher, post secondary. He read my blog. Cool. HE kinda knew me. I love having people in the car. I’m good at that. That’s the fundamental aspect of the way I make money. I want people in the car and when I don’t get them it’s painful. Flags were almost non existent. I love flags so much. It’s a show when you pick someone off the street. You put on the right attitude. I get people to dig in. I ask them questions, to figure out “What the fuck”. When it’s slow it’s rough on me. I wanted to blame the drunks, or the cops about tonight. But there is more to it. Its cold, I guess. I want to make the blog more interactive, more real time stuff. I think I would have to have my own Business and do it publicly. Get a fleet of cars. Just little portals into the lives of the thousands of people. No too big brother. We fucking love big Brother. Maybe we need less big brother. This is quickly becoming a new play ground. I think that we’re in for a change this year. There is some people who haven’t been affected by the change in the economy, but it’s gonna happen. It gets you thinking. There is going to be changes on the future. Most likely good ones, but we’re gonna have to put up with some turmoil. Some slow nights. I think I’m lucky. People like me, at least while I’m driving them. It’s the family day long week end. Hip Hip Hurray. Have fun.
THIS IS AN AWESOME LITTLE EXCHANGE
Change you’re future Ours
SO this is my current view on the situation. The Economy is changing. People are losing jobs. Here in Edmonton. Tonight was February 14Th. valentines day! Dude tonight it was almost impossible to find a fare. Work, lots of circling with no address to got to. No money. Scary No money. People were out. Partying. I had a few fares. Everyone I drove showed me love. But the fares are scarce this season. I’m not used to it. Lots of traffic. The city is changing. Slowing down. One of my fares was a teacher, post secondary. He read my blog. Cool. HE kinda knew me. I love having people in the car. I’m good at that. That’s the fundamental aspect of the way I make money. I want people in the car and when I don’t get them it’s painful. Flags were almost non existent. I love flags so much. It’s a show when you pick someone off the street. You put on the right attitude. I get people to dig in. I ask them questions, to figure out “What the fuck”. When it’s slow it’s rough on me. I wanted to blame the drunks, or the cops about tonight. But there is more to it. Its cold, I guess. I want to make the blog more interactive, more real time stuff. I think I would have to have my own Business and do it publicly. Get a fleet of cars. Just little portals into the lives of the thousands of people. No too big brother. We fucking love big Brother. Maybe we need less big brother. This is quickly becoming a new play ground. I think that we’re in for a change this year. There is some people who haven’t been affected by the change in the economy, but it’s gonna happen. It gets you thinking. There is going to be changes on the future. Most likely good ones, but we’re gonna have to put up with some turmoil. Some slow nights. I think I’m lucky. People like me, at least while I’m driving them. It’s the family day long week end. Hip Hip Hurray. Have fun.
THIS IS AN AWESOME LITTLE EXCHANGE
"Liquor spot" say it slow
Tonight consisted of personal fares. Almost all of the people I drove were personals. It was cold and the snow made things slippery. Tonight was tough to define. I have a distinct clientele that treats me very well. I do my best to take care of people. I’ve noticed that it comes back in the long run. Tonight I had a fare I drove a long time ago. I took care of the guy, he was in the military. I told him he could do what he wanted. He went to McDonald’s.Tonight him and his friends made sure my trip was beyond worth it. Thank you. Then there was this dude who I drove to the Donair shop the other day, he was running so I told him to “Jump in.” He was trying to make it to Dukes. He really wanted a Donair. Tonight he told me “even though I got a ride Duke had already put away the Meat.” No donair. But he remembered me and I got a fare tonight. A good one. Then there is these kids, West Enders. Upper, Upper, Upper Middle class. Those kids are going to put my kid through College. Thanks. I also have a group of girls I’ve been driving for a long time. I don’t think they read the blog but they love my taxi rides. I enjoy them as well. They’ve been my fares almost two years. Wouldn’t be here without them. I also got a fare from a girl, someone visiting her. It was an awesome ride. The dude paid me in American money. Thanks Oklahoma. THere was this one guy, he was a flag. He got in and he remembered me. He was like ” I know you.” When people say that to me I tell them “I was good wasn’t I.” People always smile when I say that. Turns out one of my first ever clients, introduced us. I’ve driven so many people. I love it. Even the guy from last night, the guy who threw up on the girl even he e-mailed me and thanked me. Maybe there was a reason that girl liked him so much. What I’m trying to say is, do it (live life) cause you love it. Hopefully the money will come. And If you really love it you’ll be fine cause the people around will feel it too. Right now is the time of the survival of the fittest. Darwin was an economist. Mutations. But don’t bite, lick. Nurture.
Overnight Ryan Maier You got balls brother
Whose got stories. The guy on 100.3 the Bear does. Ryan this one is for you. But before I start, kids from Grant MacEwan who were taught by the Juniper, I feel for you, I dealt with the same crappy teaching style at GURU, the almighty graphic school of shit. Any who. So tonight I see a couple walking up Argyle. They’re moving west. I can tell they’re going to need a cab cause they’re just off of Calgary trail and there really isn’t anywhere to go. So I pull up to pick them up. The chick, who’s hot as hell by the way, is wearing heels and a short sleeve shirt (it was cold last night). I didn’t even pay attention to the dude cause the girl looked reasonable. Well they get in. “Thank you so much for stopping” she says. The guy is incoherent. “What happened?” I ask. She tells me that they were kicked out of the last cab cause dude wasn’t acting nice. I figured he was being racist, but then I took a look at him and noticed that he had thrown up all over himself. “Fuck” I think to myself out loud. “Are you going to get sick in the car again?” I ask. She responds “He can throw up on me” his head falls into her lap. I start talking to buddy, hoping he can hear me in that drunken subconscious of his. “Dude this chick loves you enough to let you throw up on her you better remember this tomorrow.” He looked like a douche. He was toast. It was his birthday. He went to the Union and they over served him. They should have been fined by the looks of him. Well about half way to Lister hall, the University residence the boy starts filling the hot chicks lap with vomit. I heard her say “ooh it’s warm” I pulled over and told the kid to be civil and toss his cookies on the road like a human being. I got to talking to the girl after he had regurgitated what was left in his 19 year old birthday gut, turns out she likes this guy.(probably for the whole semester) I asked if he know how she feels about him. She said ” I don’t think so” as she patted his head resting on her lap that was covered in his vomit. Wow now that’s a good love story. My only issue with it is that asshole kid threw up all over the chick and she took it willingly, but the mother fucker won’t remember what he did tomorrow and this poor girls love will go unnoticed by Mr.Vomit. It was a good story of romance wasn’t it. Damn right, it was good enough for me to call up the night DJ on the bear and tell him the whole story. He loved it. So later that night I pick this kid up off of 107 ave. The ghetto. He gets in and tells me to go to 154 and Stony Plain road. On the way there I hear my voice coming out of the radio. I tell the kid to listen. We hear the story on the girl and the lap full of vomit. My fare opens up to me. He’s just an 18 year old kid who’s hustling, the first address we drove to was to deliver a piece. Crack! to this little native dude. Then We drove to CallingWood to pick up some Tuna, you know the Kush. He told me stories about the hustle. He was honest with me. Then the dude from the Bear played me Mr.Cabdriver by Lennie Kravits. What a blast. I’m so happy someone was there to here me telling a story on the radio, even though it entailed me helping some kid dig himself deeper into the Buizznass. He was a father too.
Lennie You Are Welcoem to Ride with me Anytime
Overnight Ryan Maier You got balls brother
Whose got stories. The guy on 100.3 the Bear does. Ryan this one is for you. But before I start, kids from Grant MacEwan who were taught by the Juniper, I feel for you, I dealt with the same crappy teaching style at GURU, the almighty graphic school of shit. Any who. So tonight I see a couple walking up Argyle. They’re moving west. I can tell they’re going to need a cab cause they’re just off of Calgary trail and there really isn’t anywhere to go. So I pull up to pick them up. The chick, who’s hot as hell by the way, is wearing heels and a short sleeve shirt (it was cold last night). I didn’t even pay attention to the dude cause the girl looked reasonable. Well they get in. “Thank you so much for stopping” she says. The guy is incoherent. “What happened?” I ask. She tells me that they were kicked out of the last cab cause dude wasn’t acting nice. I figured he was being racist, but then I took a look at him and noticed that he had thrown up all over himself. “Fuck” I think to myself out loud. “Are you going to get sick in the car again?” I ask. She responds “He can throw up on me” his head falls into her lap. I start talking to buddy, hoping he can hear me in that drunken subconscious of his. “Dude this chick loves you enough to let you throw up on her you better remember this tomorrow.” He looked like a douche. He was toast. It was his birthday. He went to the Union and they over served him. They should have been fined by the looks of him. Well about half way to Lister hall, the University residence the boy starts filling the hot chicks lap with vomit. I heard her say “ooh it’s warm” I pulled over and told the kid to be civil and toss his cookies on the road like a human being. I got to talking to the girl after he had regurgitated what was left in his 19 year old birthday gut, turns out she likes this guy.(probably for the whole semester) I asked if he know how she feels about him. She said ” I don’t think so” as she patted his head resting on her lap that was covered in his vomit. Wow now that’s a good love story. My only issue with it is that asshole kid threw up all over the chick and she took it willingly, but the mother fucker won’t remember what he did tomorrow and this poor girls love will go unnoticed by Mr.Vomit. It was a good story of romance wasn’t it. Damn right, it was good enough for me to call up the night DJ on the bear and tell him the whole story. He loved it. So later that night I pick this kid up off of 107 ave. The ghetto. He gets in and tells me to go to 154 and Stony Plain road. On the way there I hear my voice coming out of the radio. I tell the kid to listen. We hear the story on the girl and the lap full of vomit. My fare opens up to me. He’s just an 18 year old kid who’s hustling, the first address we drove to was to deliver a piece. Crack! to this little native dude. Then We drove to CallingWood to pick up some Tuna, you know the Kush. He told me stories about the hustle. He was honest with me. Then the dude from the Bear played me Mr.Cabdriver by Lennie Kravits. What a blast. I’m so happy someone was there to here me telling a story on the radio, even though it entailed me helping some kid dig himself deeper into the Buizznass. He was a father too.
Lennie You Are Welcoem to Ride with me Anytime
diarrhea in a cabbies mouth
Tonight I almost lost it on another cabby. The asshole mother fucker parked behind me. No big deal, except all he did is pull up behind me and leave his back end on the street. He looked like he was diagonal parking except on 82 ave(a busy street) I usually don’t care about bad cabbies but this guy almost got hit his ass was so far out on the road. I asked him to move. He told me to fuck off. I brought out my digital camera. He freaked out and told me it was illegal to film him. I said he was an idiot for parking like a jack ass. I radioed in to dispatch. Dispatch asked him if he was OK. He told them I was drunk. I have the whole conversation on video. He lied to them. So many taxi drivers are scam artist,rapists, drug dealers, thieves and bad drivers. I want to rid my city of the cabby shit. Would you guys want your mother to take a cab driven by a cabby that would steal her purse, or worse yet would you want a cad driver to take your daughters virginity. Then people! start complaining to the company when you get a shitty ride. Always look out for the company of the taxi you got in and if the driver is at all being creepy or trying to work you, report the cock sucker. Trust me a crooked cabby would rip you off in a second. I bet most of you already know that. FUck ignorant cabbies.
Anyway later I drove this schizophrenic man who scared me. I think he thought he could speak hundreds of different languages cause he kept changing his dialect every few minutes. I didn’t understand him most of the ride. Thank God there was no stabbing.
Marijuana has been linked to testicular cancer
Military men Rock. The people in the army put their lives on the line to keep our country safe and sovereign. I drove a few of them this weekend. On Saturday night it was this sexy (yes sexy) infantry lady. She was done, loaded but she still looked good and she was an army lady. Tonight there were five dudes, they came from a fitness center, they were so cool. I always let military fares do whatever they want, as long as they don’t do anything to me it’s game. They never do anything disrespectful. I even say they can yell anything they want out the window. They never do. It’s against their nature I think. I’m sure the army has some bad apples, but I haven’t had the opportunity to drive any of them just yet. After that I drove this kid who was out to score some weed and then go back to his pad. I was able to drive him to his weed dealers house without him telling me the address. I’m good like that. I know almost all the drug dens in the West end. Marijuana isn’t a bad drug in my opinion. I’ve never been scared of somebody high on grass. Crack yes, Coke yes, Meth yes, smack………no I don’t think so. Heroin isn’t accessible in Edmonton, if you want down you gotta shot Oxies. We’re on the Prairies man. I think Weed should be legalized, then the government would at least have some control over it and the pot heads wouldn’t have to buy it from high School kids. And If you think weed is an illicit dirty drug go to BC and open you’re eyes, it’s that provinces main export. It feeds millions of families. Whatever. I knew where the fare was going as soon as he said hes getting a bag of grass. I was relived I wasn’t going to help some fuck deliver crack to a mother of ten or something. You guys it was dead tonight. No money. I got to do a lot of driving and thinking. Lots of radio, the Ongoing History of new Music was on, you gotta love that show. Oh and some dude asked me “come in and snort a line with me, I got beer we can shoot the shit” I said “NO but thanks for the offer” I get those offers all the time. Then later on my way up Whyte ave I saw some dude I met smoking outside a bar I was parked in front of, I gave him a free lift home, he invited me in to see his kick ass guitar and amp set up, it was to bad he lived in an apartment building his amp was big enough to blow my head off. Im going to fight my war with a guitar one day. hopefully I won’t get shot.
TAKE A RIDE AND SEE WHAT’S MINE
Marijuana has been linked to testicular cancer
Military men Rock. The people in the army put their lives on the line to keep our country safe and sovereign. I drove a few of them this weekend. On Saturday night it was this sexy (yes sexy) infantry lady. She was done, loaded but she still looked good and she was an army lady. Tonight there were five dudes, they came from a fitness center, they were so cool. I always let military fares do whatever they want, as long as they don’t do anything to me it’s game. They never do anything disrespectful. I even say they can yell anything they want out the window. They never do. It’s against their nature I think. I’m sure the army has some bad apples, but I haven’t had the opportunity to drive any of them just yet. After that I drove this kid who was out to score some weed and then go back to his pad. I was able to drive him to his weed dealers house without him telling me the address. I’m good like that. I know almost all the drug dens in the West end. Marijuana isn’t a bad drug in my opinion. I’ve never been scared of somebody high on grass. Crack yes, Coke yes, Meth yes, smack………no I don’t think so. Heroin isn’t accessible in Edmonton, if you want down you gotta shot Oxies. We’re on the Prairies man. I think Weed should be legalized, then the government would at least have some control over it and the pot heads wouldn’t have to buy it from high School kids. And If you think weed is an illicit dirty drug go to BC and open you’re eyes, it’s that provinces main export. It feeds millions of families. Whatever. I knew where the fare was going as soon as he said hes getting a bag of grass. I was relived I wasn’t going to help some fuck deliver crack to a mother of ten or something. You guys it was dead tonight. No money. I got to do a lot of driving and thinking. Lots of radio, the Ongoing History of new Music was on, you gotta love that show. Oh and some dude asked me “come in and snort a line with me, I got beer we can shoot the shit” I said “NO but thanks for the offer” I get those offers all the time. Then later on my way up Whyte ave I saw some dude I met smoking outside a bar I was parked in front of, I gave him a free lift home, he invited me in to see his kick ass guitar and amp set up, it was to bad he lived in an apartment building his amp was big enough to blow my head off. Im going to fight my war with a guitar one day. hopefully I won’t get shot.
TAKE A RIDE AND SEE WHAT’S MINE
Junior Picaso
The bars were packed tonight. The women were gorgeous tonight, the men were hot and bothered. The roads were slushy. I drove these two girls to the Union, one had red hair. Later they called me back, they said that the Union sucked (the Union is for yuppies). They asked me where they should go, I took them to Blues on Whyte. Rocking. Ladies you gotta have an open mind, just because the men outside looked a hundred years old doesn’t mean the party’s gonna suffer, it just makes it a hundred times better. Fuck I loved dancing to the Blues before I actually got them. Now I’m a hundred years old but I’m making it. There was this personal fare, she wanted to take her cousins home but some guy leached on to one of the girls. I took my fare, her female cousin and the sleazy asshole to his place. The whole ride there the girl in the back seat kept saying “I’m not one of those girls” and the sleazeball rig pig type guy just kept nodding and moving in closer and closer. She started kissing him, then she almost sat on him. By the end of the trip she was ready to mate with the player. My fare (her cousin) convinced her to stay in the car and let the one night stand man go home alone. Except about a block away the slutty girl in the back seat realized she was “one of those girls” and asked me to flip a bitch so she could spend the night with a guy who was going to kick her out before morning. He was the type that would do it and not even toss her the cab fare. The sad part was that it was a family outing and the guy had tried to get it on with all the girls in the crew, on the way back from the dinks house we picked up what was left of my fares family group. They were devastated to hear that their one cousin was so easy. It made me laugh. Later on, after the bars were locked up for the night I was called to this address off of Jasper ave. When I got there this girl ran out, in tears. She wasn’t wearing any shoes. Before she could get into my car her boyfriend popped out and demanded she come back. She listened. You could tell it was an abusive relationship. You could tell she played his game. You know it’s too bad some women are so weak. I left that trip behind, it made me sad. Then I drove to the 711 on 82 ave and 103 st. There was this guy there I had driven before. I wrote about him, he was using his credit card from work to pay me and buy crack. Well it seems that he lost his job and was begging for money on the street corner. I gave him a couple of bucks and told him the cracks gonna kill him. He said he was fine. I told him he was asking random people for money at 4 am on the street. He laughed, so did I. I wish I was a 22 year old psych major. God it’s those damn red heads.
YOU GOT THE KEY NOW SHUT UP AND DRIVE ASSHOLE
Junior Picaso
The bars were packed tonight. The women were gorgeous tonight, the men were hot and bothered. The roads were slushy. I drove these two girls to the Union, one had red hair. Later they called me back, they said that the Union sucked (the Union is for yuppies). They asked me where they should go, I took them to Blues on Whyte. Rocking. Ladies you gotta have an open mind, just because the men outside looked a hundred years old doesn’t mean the party’s gonna suffer, it just makes it a hundred times better. Fuck I loved dancing to the Blues before I actually got them. Now I’m a hundred years old but I’m making it. There was this personal fare, she wanted to take her cousins home but some guy leached on to one of the girls. I took my fare, her female cousin and the sleazy asshole to his place. The whole ride there the girl in the back seat kept saying “I’m not one of those girls” and the sleazeball rig pig type guy just kept nodding and moving in closer and closer. She started kissing him, then she almost sat on him. By the end of the trip she was ready to mate with the player. My fare (her cousin) convinced her to stay in the car and let the one night stand man go home alone. Except about a block away the slutty girl in the back seat realized she was “one of those girls” and asked me to flip a bitch so she could spend the night with a guy who was going to kick her out before morning. He was the type that would do it and not even toss her the cab fare. The sad part was that it was a family outing and the guy had tried to get it on with all the girls in the crew, on the way back from the dinks house we picked up what was left of my fares family group. They were devastated to hear that their one cousin was so easy. It made me laugh. Later on, after the bars were locked up for the night I was called to this address off of Jasper ave. When I got there this girl ran out, in tears. She wasn’t wearing any shoes. Before she could get into my car her boyfriend popped out and demanded she come back. She listened. You could tell it was an abusive relationship. You could tell she played his game. You know it’s too bad some women are so weak. I left that trip behind, it made me sad. Then I drove to the 711 on 82 ave and 103 st. There was this guy there I had driven before. I wrote about him, he was using his credit card from work to pay me and buy crack. Well it seems that he lost his job and was begging for money on the street corner. I gave him a couple of bucks and told him the cracks gonna kill him. He said he was fine. I told him he was asking random people for money at 4 am on the street. He laughed, so did I. I wish I was a 22 year old psych major. God it’s those damn red heads.
YOU GOT THE KEY NOW SHUT UP AND DRIVE ASSHOLE
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Business Proposition
Business Proposition, given to me by a fare. He was wealthy looking and he tipped me 40$.Eagle peak resources If your interested in the Dome Mountain Project PDF e-mail starkfinancial@gmail.com with any questions, just tell him I sent you.
Our kids, our youth!
82 ave, I was moving North bound on 107st, saw a couple of cabbies parked, I flip a bitch at the empty 4way. The computer spits out 5$# needs help removing a customer at 107 82ave. I pull up to two cabs, both cabbies are trying to convince this girl to get out of the cab. She’s refusing. I tell her to get in to my taxi Ill take her. She gets into my car and says “St Albert”. I think “fuck” out loud. It was a slow night. None of the drivers wanted to take her to St Albert without a massive deposit. I never ask for the cash up front. “Cash on dash.” People hate that. Offensive. I hate to say it but the truth about taxi is if they get into the car the best way to get them out is to take them home. I took her home. She lived a block away from the house I grew up in. In Lacombe. I turned off the fare and I drove the block over to see it. It’s the biggest house on the block. Its my golden age. My dad built it. Tonight wasn’t easy.
There were so many cabs. We all had our top lights shinning bright. Fucking cash is hard to Come Buy lately. People are loosing their Jobs. People are still driving around though. Lots of traffic, lots of drunks, lots of empty cabs. The roads were slick, but the drunks were thick.
I drove this Environmentalist, from the Y after hours. He told me that while working for big corporation (Shell) he falsified documents. He took part in changing actual data. Not telling the public the truth. He told me that he’s been to Africa, that the Oil trade up there is extraemly unethical. He said ” If you bribe someone, its upwards of half a mill. Or a you buy them a house in Aspine and a Cadilac Escalde for the little lady. If you really want to get something done you just grease the polititions.” I believe him. I told him “blow the whistle”. It’s good for Karma. My last fare was a couple of women. West Edmonton Motor inn, the first one comes out. It’s 4:30am, she’s pregnant. She’s trying to cover it up, but she’s beyond “showing” She get’s in. “Where you going?” I ask “I don’t know” she tells me. I turn up the Radio “Use Somebody” by the Kings of Leon. We wait for her friend, she’s fucked, she gets in, they were high I think. They tried to say they were drunk. They weren’t drunk, it didn’t smell, they were sketched. “Where we going?” I ask for the second time. “104 and 105 ave.” the pregnant girls friend tells me. I turn up the song, we listen to it loud the whole song. It’s short. After I get to talking to the girls, I get a feeling that they are trying to turn some tricks to get some money for “Crack.” You have to see, the whole time I was driving those women I could see that girl trying to hide her stomach. She was pretending it wasn’t there. It wasn’t letting her go but she was still getting high. Intense. She was kind of like those Polititians. Two different worlds same bullshit. Our kids, our youth my house.
GoD=DoG Get it? EviL A LivE
As I drove around the empty midnight streets of Edmonton tonight I wondered how I could portray my vision to you guys. First off I drove a musician, the mother fucker asked me to pull over so he could piss. I pull over and the guy barely steps out the door and flops out this elephant sized cock and takes a huge piss right in front of me. I wasn’t phased he was cool. Ladies I believe he is a bass player, look into it. Tell me what you think. Now a situation that only encouraged me to proceed with the writing. O.k I get a call from a couple of personals. West Enders. Cool kids that dig my ride. They get in and with them comes a third guy, I’ve never driven. We get the talk on and I find out that the new guy has been reading my blog for a few weeks now. He says its interesting. I’m happy as hell about the great feed back. Naturally I figure he got the URL from one of his friends, one of the personal clients I was driving. I was mistaken. The guy found myfares.blogspot.com online. On somebody elses blog. Now the cool part was that the three of them were sitting around talking about taking a taxi and the guy who had never been in my car showed the guys my blog and said lets call this guy. My clients looked at each other and said that’s Jacob. They both had a copy of my card in their wallets. What a trip. I drove them to the club, great ride. The night wore on and I had a few more clients (not many). The three dudes called me back. I hurried to the club to pick them up. We took the long way home and chatted. Politics, sexuality and God were all topics that came up. The kid who knew me from my blog mentioned that he was a Cynic. This kid is young, his view of the world is still developing. I said I believe in God, I told him I like spirituality in general but I was raised with Jesus and that’s the way I’ve grown accustom to viewing the Almighty mother fucker in the sky. Jesus was God but he was a man. GOD=Man. He was sceptical. I told him “You’ve been reading my blog, you guys needed a taxi. You showed these boys my blog and said we should call this guy. They knew my number because I had already driven them.” I told him “this is what I believe is destiny (fate), you met me through a blog initially and now I’m your designated safe ride home. This phenomenon happened naturally. You have become the topic of my blog.” Then I told him “that’s God for ya.”
blow your brains out
My first fare tonight was this girl. We started talking about how the police are not into crime prevention. The Police are there to clean up the mess. She told me that she found a bunch of unused bullets on the high level bridge. She said she called the cops and they said that they won’t even do a write up about it cause it’s just to much paper work. My fare felt that they were neglecting the situation. I asked her what she thought the bullets were going to be used for. She didn’t know. I came up with a situation. I figured some dude went up there to blow his mind out and then fall into the North Saskatchewan. My fare got upset with me that I brought up the topic of suicide so randomly and aggressively. I meant no harm. It was just what I thought someone might have brought those bullets up there for. She was offended. I apologized, but really I didn’t mean it. Suicide is ……. What is it people? K, here is a funny story for you. There is this day driver from Afghanistan, very cool cat. Well he loves the ladies and he always tries to get with them. This is what he tells me. So one day he is driving this woman, he told me she had dark skin and was very attractive. On the way to her destination the taxi broke down. The woman panicked “what are we going to do?” the day driver announced “we’re going to have sex.” “No! I have a boyfriend” she said. The day driver told me that she did not have a boyfriend. He called her another cab. The women with the dark complexion waited with the driver in silence. When the second taxi arrived the day driver was very embarrassed, because it was his wife’s brother. He said ” that night my wife never said a word to me” then he looked at me and asked “do you think she told him about my proposition?”
I got balls, do you?
Check this out
most people dream of driving hack
no joke, ask your boyfriend if he ever thought about it
but the truth is most people are scared
this is why
Missing Cabbie watch it, cops don’t have jack shit on me, that’s why I can talk shit
a link that has some good stuff LINK because the link above lost its coolness but you can click it but this one is better to get the story
WHo the hell is Holly Crap?
Tonight was yet another cold night. Canadians are going through some tough economic times, but Edmontonians are still going to the bar. Except they’re driving home loaded to save the extra couple bucks. It’s o.k though, the EPS is a proud supporter of drinking and driving. I solute all the great cops out there. I’m sure crime prevention is a lot easier when you pretend that there is none. SO tonight was slow and boring. I was having a hard time just trying to remain sane. That is until I picked up Vinesh Pratap. He wasn’t drunk but he sure did look like he was having a good time. We talked about Edmonton. I asked him all sorts of questions about being a reporter, but all he did is ask me all sorts of questions about being a cabby. We got along and the man tipped me very well. I told him to do a story on the city streets and the lack of law. He laughed. That was it. Vinesh made my night, without him I think I would have just went home. THanks Vinesh, here is the link to the stuff I did with the CBC,
If there is any way I can help you tell the city the truth just give me a call.
hey Global made this ……. Missing Cabbie
hey thatt site got rid of the cabby story
here is a new link NEW LINK TO FUCKED UP STORY
I can cure this social cancer
Holy shit, the fucking cold is killing everyones good time. Except mine. I had a great night, made money, not much but I am still alive. I drove Greater than Giants, the bassist and the Guitar player. Cool cats all the way. They got in holding some donairs, I asked them to forget about eating them until they got home and they listened. We listened to some Sublime on the way. They dug it. Sometimes pussy mother fuckers don’t like the Rock and Roll with their ride home. They say it’s too loud. How can a good song be too loud? Oh yeah some people are wimps. The Greater then Giant kids were awesome. My last fare was a group of people. I pressured the group to get in the cab. I was like “get in I’m the best cabby you’ll ever have” I was right. The last guy left in the group came along to pick up a personal. She lived off of 118th ave. I thought she was going to be a prostitute. She ended up being a woman running from an abusive relationship. 4:30am. Her ex boyfriend. The landlord let him in, he woke her up yelling. She had to leave, she was with a seven month old baby. I was with another guy. The four of us drove to the North Side. I give my clients nick names now, to remember who they are. You can only remember so many Mikes or Amanda’s, Billies and Bobs. Her Nick name was damsel in distress. Tonight she really was and I was there for her. I brought a witness. I love the job. I don’t need people to see that I kick ass every night. I know they all notice. This morning I drove a women to a safe place with a baby, she was the first parent to ever have a baby seat and she actually used it the right way. Taxis don’t need to have baby seats. We are allowed to travel with children in their parents arms. Crazy!
Oh haha there was this dude, he raked up a 78$ fare looking for a hooker on his way to Fort Saskatchewan. He found one. When he approached her (outside the vehicle, I park a block away let the Johns solicit the sex far away from me) he came back angry and upset because he thought she was gross. I thought he was gross. I told him to go home and sleep off the booze. I told him he would wake up tomorrow happy he listened to me. He wanted a hooker. It was to cold, they were all hiding in their crack dens, scraping their crack pips. He made it to the Fort, he paid me 90$, and asked me to drop him off at the local pub. After He threw the money at me he said “I’m going to kill someone” and walked into the bar. I drove away thinking, hell I hope some woman gives the poor angry fuck a blow job for free, he tipped me 12$ for a ride that almost came to 100$. I can’t hate him he was one of my best fares.
THis guys blog is fucking Amazing
Canadians are ignorant too It won’t happen to us we’re Canadian, Fuck!
We thought crime was high now, just wait people, just wait and see.
"Watch your back bro!" Why I can hear you coming?
Scooby Doo, fuck you! So tonight was another beyond cold night. It felt like -30. Windy too. Girls still walking around looking like hookers from LA though. I hope the boys got laid. Tonight I drove a millionaire, he won the set for life. I was like “you’re joking” he said “google me“. What a lucky guy. It’s not every day you drive a kid who makes a 1000$ a week doing nothing. The only reason I know he does nothing is cause he told me. Dude you should do something, but have fun. Hey call me I’ll drive you around, you can tell me what it’s like to win a million. Later I picked up a women who just came back from London England. She said that she felt like she just left a country going through a major economic depression. I have a feeling that us Canadians are going to feel it too. We all know that oil is no longer a prize. It’s dirty and cheap. I think Obama is gonna get rid of Americas super addiction to the crap. I hope he does, I want technology that’ll take me to the moon not a gas guzzling SUV that makes oil executives rich. Oh then I drove this girl who wanted to get it on with this guy. She said “I wished I went home with him.” I said “you sound like a man.” She was hot and young, so I’m guessing he was young too, he must have been frightened of sex. Sex is scary, at first even if you’re drunk. I bet she’s gonna wake up tomorrow with a head ache thinking ” I’m so happy I didn’t fuck that kid last night, oh and man that dude was a great cabby.” Julian bought me a red bull, he’s this bass player I’ve kinda befriended. Hopefully we’ll try playing music together soon.
Slick roads and a snow storm the fucking cold is back
Penthouse Massage, I had one in my car tonight. Well I didn’t actually get one I gave three girls that work there a ride to the Bank Ultra lounge. They were awful, well one of them was. I said something about her boyfriend, who did not look like a pimp at all. He looked like a guitar player or some sort of musician. She yelled at me I turned up Pink Floyd Comfortably Numb. They all liked it, they tipped me like 15$. I liked them. I used to drive a Penthouse masseuse. She always paid well. At least until she met a guy. Guys use those types of girls. I don’t understand that dynamic, the abusive guy who can control a women who makes 2000$ a day getting other men off. How? Why? Not much else happened. I drove a man from the Missoracordia Emergency, he asked about the first black President. I said I can’t wait and see how he does. Neither could he. Wonder what the PentHouse ladies think of the guy, you know they are all going to University to study law and medicine. Penthouse Massage is just to pay Canada’s outrageous tuition bills. Bada Boom .
Innocents is on its knees begging please
First fare of the night was a flag from Teddy’s. They remembered me. I remembered them. DO you readers remember this. Read it. they kept their pants on this time. There was only two of them, they’re a couple. They told me that they gave lots of people the URL. I hope I have at least a small gay following. One of them told his sister and she told him shes had me as a taxi driver a couple of times. Tiny Father fucking planet. The night was slow. So slow again. I got this guy who paid me 75$ to drive him to Millwoods from Whyte ave. Great deal. He was my money for the night. The streets were filled with a criminal element though. You could tell that the Crack hustlers were out trying to feed the crack heads junk addiction, but even they must have stayed home. The pusher were getting frustrated and they were driving like idiots with a power trip. It’s o.k there wasn’t any cops out there to stop them, so they were free to boot around like they own the city cause they do. My last fare was a couple of young teenage girls. They were dump, straight up. Naive and stupid. They knew it all. I could tell they had just cum from an older guys house, when I called them I over heard them trying to find an earring. One of them mentioned she was on probation. That meant she was out illegally. I asked how they knew this 23 year old dude, since they were still in high school. One of them said she worked for him. She immediately told me she wasn’t a hooker. That rung a bell in my mind and I asked for the story. She was reluctant but she told me. She used to bag crack for him, she said it was great money. I told her that she is still innocent and she should get away from this guy. She said “I know I’m not innocent and he’s such a sweet heart.” The last time I drove him(a crack dealer) he told me “all I want to do is Jam in her mouth and stick it in her ass, cause I love to steal that teenage innocents.” Then he told me ” If I ever knocked her up I’d punch her in the gut and I’d kick her the fuck out of my house.” All crack dealers are the same. See ladies your problem is that you told me all this information, I know the dude is a crack pusher, I know you’re on probation, I know where you live and I know where he lives. Scared? Don’t worry, I still think you’re innocent just stay safe and get the fuck out of that type of situation. When you’re in High School tomorrow just remember that the real cool girls want to marry Doctors and lawyer, they don’t want a guy who asks them to bag crack and have abortions. See I told you ladies you are still innocent, was I right? Comment please it makes the blog better.
B….b.b.b.b.bbasssssss
Flip A Bitch and run it back with a Red Bull
Wish I could tell you people a great interesting story but I can’t, not one that I was given. I drove a women, crazy eyes she was insightful. She told me she has a criteria for the man she would date. There is five things that she needs him to be before she could really fall for him. She has a list. It’s like a cook book of love a “list”. I never thought of having criteria. I just followed my manhood, but it’s a good idea. What happens if you like someone that does not necessarily belong in the recipe. Do you throw the person out, or do you throw the ingredient in and wait to see if it works with the dish.
My last fare was to Spruce grove, a young electrician. We talked about our jobs, I told him mine was fun. He said “I know, I was in the back seat of a cab once and I was making out with this chick, her friend was in the front and she was jealous I guess, that we were getting it on and she was all alone. So she started railing the cab driver. When we got to their place I tried to get a threesome going, but she wasn’t into it. She blew a random cabby but wouldn’t touch me. I was hurt.” I would never let some random chick touch my dick. That’s dirty, but it was a interesting story. Then we stared talking about why Kurt Cobain blew his head off. The electrician said it was all the drugs. I said it was fate. What do you think? Remember it was Easter. He took his life the day Christ came back from the dead. The electrician said that there is no way that mattered. I think Kurt dug the idea that he was a savior of sorts. Kind of a Messiah, a fucking Rock God. Strange. The Electrician told me to think of a world where Kurt Cobain was still alive, he said it would be a different place. I think he was right. Rock and Roll is a powerful thing. Good Music is something the world is given, we haven’t had any really good stuff in a while, I have a feeling things are about to change, but who am I. Just another sap listening to the God Dame radio.
oh my God I also drove this girl, she was this chick that convinced me to flush all my prescription drugs down the toilet. I did it, the last of my narcotics, like 50-60 pills. This was way back in my past. Like four years ago.(before my Sun was born) She convinced me and some girl to flush our drugs. The other girl flushed a fat bag Meth. We were both face to face with the devil when we got rid of those drugs. The girl I picked up tonight was an angel then, and she still is now. All the power to you Gab Rock on.
Red White and Abused = CANADA – The USA
Nick nack, tic fucking tac. I think I lost my passport and birth certificate. Who cares? Imagine being twenty two and married for the second week (Newly Wed). Now Imagine wanting out, knowing there is going to be a divorce before the Wedding day even came. Imagine telling your Mom, your Dad and imagine them telling you to go to counseling cause your getting hitched bitch. I drove her last night, she was so relieved she was able to tell someone (Me). Imagine she got pregnant. Ohhh, she won’t I hope. We talked about abortion. That’s a touchy subject. You know what I’m going to Concordia University. I just feel religious! I’m fucking head over heels for Jesus. Did you know that guys? I’m Justified, just waiting for that bad mother to come on up and make me a T-A-X-I Man Martyr. Gotta love the Top Light. That’s my night light. Good thing I’m yours.
I’m having problems at home, but still I am consistently a great cabby, for everybody. I even drove my ex to the emergency room last week, hell I even brought her back and she still treats me like…. She left the baby at home with a friend of hers, when I brought my ex back from the hospital the babysitter was loaded. “Dragon water” red wine “I’m not drunk” she said, fuck that. Readers tell me what you think of that. Or don’t. Who cares? I do.
I do love the gig, the driving, my taxihood. I drove a huge chunk of Sonic 102.9. DJ’s and directors, people who’s voices bring light into my life. No joke. I Love radio, and the people who entertain me are the people that help me enjoy my life behind the wheel. I drove them home safely, they paid me handsomely. My life is Rock and Roll. How about yours kids? You having fun, or you just laying there waiting to rot in the Sun.
Oh and guys here is a shoutout to all the good folks enjoying the occasioanl fat bag of Coke, we all know tonight there were no Jokes when it came to the Cokes.
And No I can’t help you find any, cause my drug addict friend/dealer relapesed and needs a day off.(I don’t ever help anyone get high) she did relaps though, and it hurt her, I could tell she was clean for over a month. Now it’s back to day numero uno.
Here is on old one you might have missed
This guy worked at the Domo, where they jump to the pump for you
Old blood Clots taste Good
Ok here is a story from a girl, ” So Randy was looking for a Coke Sniffer or a Coke blower (not a whore), you know one of those things you use to snort a bump of Blow or Meth. Posh drug addict style. Well someone told him to drive down to 118ave and find a Chines store and he’d find a Coke Sniffer. So Randy runs down to the 118ave Chines drug paraphanalia place and asks the lady for a Coke Sniffer. He said he could see her rummaging around and out of no where she whips out a Crack pipe. You know the glass tube. Randy though about it and left.” Hey Randy if you’re gonna go soft you might as well hit the hard buddy. That story made me laugh.
The City needs more Cops, I don’t want to talk shit it’s just the streets are filled with drunk kids driving like assholes, running red light and whipping shities like it’s nobodies business. I think I’m getting old cause driving fast scares me a bit.(Lie) Seeing those idiotic rich fucks drive like jerk-offs just makes me angry, and scares the fares. Stop it kids! Grow Up…..and have fun.
When I was an 80mg a day amphetamine (Dexedrine) pill popper (my own prescription) I drove across the continent. From Wisconsin to Alabama, sleep. From Alabama to Daytona beach Florida.Sleep. Back to Alabama. Then all the way to Banff, that’s where I started driving a Taxi. I was still eating my prescription drugs as a meal replacement. I talked to license plates, they told me where to turn, they told me who I was, they even told me why I’m here. Now, I got a kid and I’ve been sober for over three years I still listen to the little voices, they tell me where to go, how to get there, they even tell me why. They come from the back seat, they’re just as random and fucked up, crazy and gross but they’re real. They’re you! Sometimes I miss- understanding the license plate, and sometimes I still hear them talking. Fuck I’m a lunatic, but I do love you guys. Thanks
Old blood Clots taste Good
Ok here is a story from a girl, ” So Randy was looking for a Coke Sniffer or a Coke blower (not a whore), you know one of those things you use to snort a bump of Blow or Meth. Posh drug addict style. Well someone told him to drive down to 118ave and find a Chines store and he’d find a Coke Sniffer. So Randy runs down to the 118ave Chines drug paraphanalia place and asks the lady for a Coke Sniffer. He said he could see her rummaging around and out of no where she whips out a Crack pipe. You know the glass tube. Randy though about it and left.” Hey Randy if you’re gonna go soft you might as well hit the hard buddy. That story made me laugh.
The City needs more Cops, I don’t want to talk shit it’s just the streets are filled with drunk kids driving like assholes, running red light and whipping shities like it’s nobodies business. I think I’m getting old cause driving fast scares me a bit.(Lie) Seeing those idiotic rich fucks drive like jerk-offs just makes me angry, and scares the fares. Stop it kids! Grow Up…..and have fun.
When I was an 80mg a day amphetamine (Dexedrine) pill popper (my own prescription) I drove across the continent. From Wisconsin to Alabama, sleep. From Alabama to Daytona beach Florida.Sleep. Back to Alabama. Then all the way to Banff, that’s where I started driving a Taxi. I was still eating my prescription drugs as a meal replacement. I talked to license plates, they told me where to turn, they told me who I was, they even told me why I’m here. Now, I got a kid and I’ve been sober for over three years I still listen to the little voices, they tell me where to go, how to get there, they even tell me why. They come from the back seat, they’re just as random and fucked up, crazy and gross but they’re real. They’re you! Sometimes I miss- understanding the license plate, and sometimes I still hear them talking. Fuck I’m a lunatic, but I do love you guys. Thanks
Imagine if you owned hundreds of gas stations
Tonight was the type of night that almost gave me a nervous break down. I drove personal clients, these two girls, loaded, I’m talking millionaire money (No tip). Must be the economy cause this whole week, I barley made ends meet so far. That’s OK I have faith that all my dreams will come true. Just not the way I had dreamt them. Man there is more con artists out there then ever. Well maybe not I just let one con me. I’m too embarrassed to say what happened, so just read it on his blog www.fuckoveracabby.blogspot.com. He has a big chunk of what I made tonight. Strange I know, I let myself get burned. He had a kid with him, he said his mom was an escort at the fantasy land hotel and she needed a ride but he had to pay for the pizza right now. I lent him the money(so wrong) I got his phone and ID. I drove to pick up blow Job mama and when I got there, no ones waiting. So I waited a long time, calling buddy with kid back every so often. She never shows, I call him fed up and he tells me she got busted. He owes me money, I hate that. I hate that he used his kid (or her kid, or maybe he’s not even a part of the family) I hate that I got used. There is more to this one I’ll tell you if the collateral pans out. If not I’m stuck with a dead phone and a pimps ID. Yuk! Fuck I sucked. Tonight was warmer but the slush was just awful to drive in. So many people went out, most of them must have driven home drunk because there was no work. Crowds of people though. No cops either, I think they’re on vacation, you can only jerk your partner off so many times before you need a week off. The only good thing that happened to me was I drove this guy from a private club the West Edmonton Music Society. Man I asked the dude at the door if I can go in, he said “No, members only.” So I asked “how do I join” he said ” you can’t, only a member can sign you in” I told him my fare will fall in love with me. When My fare came we talked about it, how I feel as a musician and all that Jazz, I hope he liked me cause I would love to see what goes on in that place, if you’re from Edmonton look into it, it’s cool trust me.
Goal!……..Now that’s Art…cuming…..right God?
Is a pick up artist a swinger? I don’t know. I drove this couple to THe Mall tonight, they were pick up artist. The dude told me”there are 12 steps to picking up a women.” I forgot everything he said. He had a hot chick with him. She was a pick up artist too. They told me they had an open relationship. What the fuck is an Open relationship? From Driving the taxi, I think it’s chemistry, but there is a cook. You never know if he’s fixing up something you really wanna eat . I think the last step in THe PickUp Process was Sex. Score!
The night was cold, again. Painful. I called the Bear, they played me Nirvana. I couldnt find anyone to drive, I listened to the song alone in my car. “Lithium.” This city is getting smaller and smaller by the minute. I drove these girls from Montreal. “Take the Long way home” by super tramp was on. They got in and said with Quebecois accents “the Marriott downtown.” I turned up the super tramp. The chick in the front seat turned it down. I love Montreal, I tried talking to them in French, my french is rough, but its there. I understand it. It was a boring ride. Sometimes I think I suck, but then I realize it’s the people.
I drove the unofficial manager to the WednesdayNightHeros, dude always a hoot. Man The city is getting smaller. It’s not growing anymore. The Boom is dieing. Gas is cheap, and I drive a Mazda God knows I want a Jeep. Edmonton isn’t as bad as I make it out to be sometimes. It’s a big city.
When it’s this cool and this slow you have to hunt. No standing around. I move in the cold, the car’s warm, in fact I keep it hot. I found a few fares and got a personal. The personal is an English teacher/student/server at the UofA. Eloquent, and spot on. I think she has even traveled. She told me she read the blog, told me it’s entertaining, she told me it has run on sentences, grammar and punctuation problem. SHe said “I’ll edit it.” She was drunk. So if some anonymous person tries to tweak the blog, bring it on.
I’m a pick up artist, I’m one of the best. I pick everyone up and take them the long way home/the only way home. That’s why I pick people up, to meet them, take them somewhere, get paid. The Taxi driver is a true Pick up Artist, this ain’t no swingers club. You really have to Score! then its beautiful. It is truly an open relationship, its Art. I’m a Professional.
Tancowny, Give em a C-Over
Tonight I needed some inspiration, I sat down at around 9:30pm and started reading a magazine. Concrete Skateboarding, Great! Flipping through the pages I stumble upon a kid I remember seeing on the streets of Edmonton, Jamie Tancowny, I watched this kid bust out an incredible sesscion the first time the Zero team showed up in Millwoods. The first time I ever saw him was at this skate park in Beverly, holly shit he is a skate superstar. Seeing that picture made me realize I gotta get out there and fish out a story or two. The only story I could get is that people dig the cab ride. Even the drunk belligerent Oilers fans (Oilers lost)that were determined to maul an innocent bystander were won over by my ass. Dude those guys were the only real danger. Lots of girls, I showed off for all of them. This Job was a treat tonight. It snowed! I went to McDonalds with a couple of ladies, totally smooth rides. There was one girl from New Brunswick she invited me in to smoke a joint with her, I just said “No.” She was a sweet person though so it wasn’t that easy. I started work at 10 pm tonight, I had so much fun, it was like it wasn’t work. When it feels like work I just turn up the radio and drive. There was no nirvana TOnigth thought, but who cares.
This kid Inspiered me, a long time ago, The best skatboarder I have ever seen in real life, amazing!
Tancowny, Give em a C-Over
Tonight I needed some inspiration, I sat down at around 9:30pm and started reading a magazine. Concrete Skateboarding, Great! Flipping through the pages I stumble upon a kid I remember seeing on the streets of Edmonton, Jamie Tancowny, I watched this kid bust out an incredible sesscion the first time the Zero team showed up in Millwoods. The first time I ever saw him was at this skate park in Beverly, holly shit he is a skate superstar. Seeing that picture made me realize I gotta get out there and fish out a story or two. The only story I could get is that people dig the cab ride. Even the drunk belligerent Oilers fans (Oilers lost)that were determined to maul an innocent bystander were won over by my ass. Dude those guys were the only real danger. Lots of girls, I showed off for all of them. This Job was a treat tonight. It snowed! I went to McDonalds with a couple of ladies, totally smooth rides. There was one girl from New Brunswick she invited me in to smoke a joint with her, I just said “No.” She was a sweet person though so it wasn’t that easy. I started work at 10 pm tonight, I had so much fun, it was like it wasn’t work. When it feels like work I just turn up the radio and drive. There was no nirvana TOnigth thought, but who cares.
This kid Inspiered me, a long time ago, The best skatboarder I have ever seen in real life, amazing!
Make a Buck And The government Takes your Buck
Dude tonight was so awesome it sucked! Cold again. Man this is a tough winter. Got the photo radar man and he took a picture of my ass. Hey that’s just a part of being a taxi driver in our great province of Alberta. I met Alberta once, she was ugly and fat but I fell deeply in love with her. Hey, do any of you guys know the triple X on Stony Plain Rd and 152st, you know the XXX, tonight I found out what really goes on there, I though it was just porno. No, no my friends, Al a fare told me that you can have sex with a hooker in your own private booth. The booth consists of a leather chair and a TV playing a porno of your choice, you can’t rewind it though only the fast forward button works. I guess when the clips over you gotta leave or else. If you’re not into women then on the other side of this porno palace is the mens section, with everything you would ever want for dirty erotic homosexual sex, yes I mean they got glory holes. Al told me as soon as he’d seen a mans fingers come out of there he threw the 5$ worth of tokens he had bought on the floor and left, only to come back to pay ten more dollars to sleep with a street walker in the gentleman’s booth. Al also told me that his girlfriend is an escort 350$ for a half hour. If you pay her is she really your girlfriend Al? I also drove a hooker who was trapped outside in the cold, she told me “I can do drywall.” What the fuck does that mean? Ooo I picked the girl up who said she was sobering up, totally true, she’s been boozing it up, but hey no rock. Congrats.
Hey its Wednesday here is something from the WednesdayNightHeros
rock on guy and gals
peace
I drove a women with a non contagious skin disease
Has anyone missed me yet, God what’s the world coming to. I had a slow Monday night but I needed to get out there. I’m depressed, I think it’s seasonal. It hit me like a tone of bricks on New years day. That was my moms birthday and also the day I had to drive her to the airport. We fought on the way about how I’m working way to much, I had a bad attitude almost the whole time she was here and I’m guessing it was just that seasonal depression creeping in. I’m still a kick ass cabby. Man I was a rocking cabby when I was on drugs too, psychotic but fun. Ok enough about me and my issues what the hell has been going on. Tonight I drove like five people but my last fare was a doosy. She was seventeen, she was on her way back to her house. She told me her mom kicked her out on New Years day for having a big party at their house. I was like “oh that sucks, did anything get smashed”, she said “No, a good friend of mine got stabbed five times on the front porch, then he stumbled into the neighbours yard and almost died.” I asked if he’s o.k, she said “Yes he’s fine still in the hospital but no nothing too bad.” Remind me never to go to a teenagers party on the west end. Hell everyone never party anywhere near Stony Plain road. Oh yeah I had this fare, he remembered me, he told me that I picked him up and he gave me a massive tip. I told him “I rock.” He told me the time I picked him up “I just broke a bottle over some fuckers face remember.” Hell I think I wrote a post about it. How can I forget being a get away driver. Hence the big tip. He obviously does not read the blog but hey, he’s been in it twice. Is there any readers out there that want to be in the blog but haven’t set foot in my taxi. Just call #taxi hahahahahaha or flag me the fuck down. Peace out people, and thanks for worrying about my mental health, I almost drove off the high level. (Bad Joke)
HAppy Birthday MAMA I Love you
Happy new year, mmmmmm what a great night. I had so much fun booting around in my taxi cab. It was beyond cold in Edmonton last night. The roads were slick. Ok so there was this young couple, they were 18, both of them. She was pregnant, they found out for the new year and they were going to party the little zygotes life away, Hurray! So I felt a little squeamish, I wanted to tell them not to have an abortion, but hey who the fuck am I? We all know it’s not even the father decision, it’s all in moms hands. Mama! Who’s that? Who cares. One of the last fares I had was on the west end, I pulled up to a group of cops in cop cars, well they were standing outside talking to my fare. Right as I pull up they jump and hop to move out of the way. I asked the fare what was going on. He said that somebody was dropping their shoes out of the 15th floor of the high rise. Cool. I asked for more Info. The guy told me that he was getting drunk with a buddy. The guy asked him (my fare) to step outside of the apartment. He did, there was three of them out there. They locked the one girl inside the place. Well the owner of the apartment had this massive butcher knife and he tried to stab my client. (This all happened before I showed up) He had some marks to prove it. Crazy psychos. I rang in the New Year with a women that got in crying and left in the arms of her ex husband, she told me she loved him, she mairried him three times but couln’t stay with him cause he loves the crack, she said he met the crack on the oil patch. Fucking Fort Mac when the fuck you gonna burn down. Alberta has another year under her belt, lets hope she dosen’t get any fatter this year she looks a lot like…….fuck it I’m done. Happy Nnnn zzzzzzzzzzz
Father+Brother=BUMs, Trash, I got fucking Robed
So I missed a phone call in the middle of the night. It was a personal fare. I’ve written about her. Gang girl. She called tonight and I didn’t answer. I tried calling the number back but it came from a pay phone. There was no reaching her. SHe left me a message it went like this “Hey Jacob it’s ….. aaa I needed you tonight but you’re not around……..hey guess what I’ve been sober and clean for three weeks and I got drunk tonight but I didn’t get high and that’s what’s important…..yeah nice message hahahaha bye.” I’ve worried about this girl, now more then ever. I hope she stays clean until I see her next. Drugs hurt. That message almost brought a tear to my eye. I also had these two girls with this kid, they were a personal to West ed. Ladies I love ya, call me back and I’ll make sure you get home, but next time leave the dushes in the mall. That one guy he was cool, and American soccer girl hope you fix that phone, Thank you though, you helped feed a small child. What else………..? New Year is almost here and with it comes the Alberta Clipper, so stay safe you animals.
This is Just a really great Video, I can kinda relate TenSecond Epic
I drive a taxi in their HomeTown
This is Just a really great Video, I can kinda relate TenSecond Epic
I drive a taxi in their HomeTown
myfares@blogspot.com
This blog is just a description of “My Fares” through my eyes, I try to depict the situation as accurately as I can. It’s just a perspective, I don’t make it up, and I am honest with the people I work for.
These are myfares@blogspot.com.
My Jewish Boyfriends bar mitzvah
Hobbema, a reserve, houses something like 15,000 new nation people. Hobbema is plagued with gangs and drugs. What is the cause? The free money. People get free money from the government. I drove a couple of guys from Hobbema this morning. We got to talking. They liked me, I respected them. I asked for the scoop on Hobbema. O.k, so the reserve is massive, it’s actually four reserves, and this is where the conflict begins. Each reserve is it’s own, hence the Gang Wars. Tribal style. Why gangs? Free money baby. Think about it, every person gets 500$ a month, some people have six kids, you do the math. Now get a mother of six hooked on Crack, got it. Big time cashola! Hobema is getting a really bad rap, unless you’re reading my blog from like 1000kms away you know what I’m talking about, senseless gang violence. Like the little girl that was guned down during a pussy drive by. Well, what I was told tonight made me change the way I felt about the I.P. (Indian Possy) They’re a gang of New Nation people based outside of Winnipeg. Well the head honchos (this is just what I’ve been told, I could be wrong) are telling the members “stand down. Loose the colors, No more I.P on this reserve.” They (the big dudes in some prison) don’t feel that they are being represented properly. I think that’s cool, if it’s true. Personally I think Native culture is beautiful, full, real but the drugs and alcohol are poisons circulating and causing some serious damage to the people as a whole. The dudes I drove treated me really well. I took good care of them, we bought some booze at some club totally illegally. I now know where to go for late night illegal off sales, except if I knock on the door to that club I’m pretty sure a big Indian would step on me. I dropped them off on 118ave and 100st, they opened a window to a basement suit, I don’t think the resident was home, but according to them it was a good place to drink the 24 pack of Bud and two six of Smirnoff. They paid 130$ for the booze and they gave me 40$, they owed me 50$ but hey I learned a lot. It was worth it.
Uranium is Pretty Radiation is Good
I haven’t been focusing on the Job this week, it’s been really slow so I’ve been spending time with friends and family. I am working though. Tonight the best story I got was from this girl, she’s a twenty five year old teacher from Cow Town. She tells me she has this ex boyfriend that she went to the Metalica concert with. I’m not sure why she was so open with me (I’m a great cabby) but she told me that while they were having sex this ex of hers told her he loved her. “He said it in mid pump” those were her exact words. I could imagine that, it was kind of out there. Then she said she told him “Get out of me. Now!” Teacher one Love None. Oh lately because of the extreme cold me and my day driver have been exchanging car from house to house. He picks me up, I drop him off and vice versa. Well this morning he found a problem with the front bumper, a piece was ajar. He said “you hit something”, I didn’t hit jack shit. He found this hanging piece I think because he hit something. It’s something that can barley be seen and he found it. I do a walk around the car and would have never thought of looking down there. I gotta tell the owner, and from now on I’m parking the car in front of the garage, fuck this door to door service. If I hit something I admit it, but that damage didn’t happen on my shift. I thought I could trust the day driver, I still hope I can, we’ll see how much money it takes to fix the problem. What a bunch of bull shit, this post I mean. Oh the EPS is still a joke, maybe not the cops themselves but that shitty check stop thing is a load of……
Pepsi, Pizza and sweet sweet Pussy
What is it about the highway that I love so much? I love moving fast. I love the moon light, the twilight, all that shit. Most of all I love leaving the city. I drove to Westlock (I think that’s how you spell it). I drove a preacher of sorts there tonight, he taught the Gospel. I preach my Gospel in the taxi. I talk about what I’ve seen, who I am and where I think the planet earth is going. I was brought up Catholic so weather I like it or not God looks like Jesus to me. I kinda look like Jesus, xcept I don’t have those long blond locks, I got a receding hair line. I’ve been wearing a tuque, no one notices. Rock and Roll is like a religion and for Your Rock and Roll to survive you have to have faith in it, you got to believe in the message you’re spreading, that’s how the real world works. Driving the Taxi is Rock and Roll. Fuck I can relate to almost everyone, from an old German women going to see her new grandson in Winnipeg to the psychotic bum who tells me he’s an angel her to eat his sister, they both like me, but there is more to it then a relation, I drive them for a reason. I drive people cause I want them to know who I am, just like any other performer, my taxi ride is a performance, and the greatest thing about the taxi medium is that it’s ever changing. I want to move on, I want to travel outside this city, I want to build a……. I don’t know. I have a son who’s with his mother over the holidays, (Van, love you guys) I want him to see the world is the same place with all sorts of different aspects of itself, the same shit. I drove a local musicians tonight, I’m listening to his CD right now he gave it to me and I like it, totally punk rock unique lyrically, and the music is fucking solid The Johnsons Gypsies for life. I like them and Nick you are a true rocker dude I’m all about the highway too. Get drunk and call me people.
TAXI- Jesus A Sleeping Me
Christmas Eve was pretty good for me, I fought with my asshole dispatcher. His name is Peter and he is a Jerk off. I have these clients from Israel, they’re cool Ex military, they’re young kids. They moved here to start a life together, they work in retail. They were telling me that the other day one of their client asked them where they’re from they said Israel, the client said she was from Gaza and walked away. Man you got to set aside your differences, Canada is a neutral place isn’t it? Oh I have a good story from the other night, I pull up to an address and call the house. Someone with a weird voice answers, it’s deep and I can’t understand a word that’s being said. I’m like “Is Mike coming down or not?” the voice answers in the same manner as before, just kind of a bunch of deed gurgles. I start thinking this is a bad prank, and I ask again “is Mike coming, yes or no?” the same thing the deep weird sounds just keep coming through. Then I got a little angry and I said “If this is a fucking prank, I’m going to black list the fucking address and you’ll never get a cab here again, is Mike coming yes or no?” “YES” comes through in a deed and disturbing way. I hang up the phone. then the fare shows up, a young guy on his way to the bar, I ask him “who answered the phone?” He says “my mom” I was shocked I told him the story and that I got kind of irate with her. He told me she just had a tracheotomy and the cold dry weather makes it really hard to talk. I was so embarrassed I wanted to call her back and apologise, I didn’t, the truth is she made absolutely no sense. Sorry lady, I hope you forgive me. Merry Christmas everyone.
Ditch Pig, Yeah just look over there. Where?
I picked this women up tonight, she is 43, she has a seven year old son with down syndrome and she was off to smoke crack with her ex husband in a trailer park. A man she left 18 years ago because he was fucking around on her. She said she was allowed to start smoking crack because she never rebelled in life. Is that a good reason? Not when you have a seven year old with down syndrome. The kids father is a Newphy also a crack head that she needed to get a restraining order against. She told me he threatened her with the “Golden bi bi” a golden bullet that he wanted to put through her skull for having his kid. She is not going to see a dime of child support is she people? Not if she keeps smoking the Crack, that shit is something that you just can’t dabble with, not even once. Hudsons on Bourbon street in West Ed over served it’s clients this evening, everyone that walked out of those doors last night was ready to fuck in my back seat. I didn’t stop them cause the rides were to short for a drunk male to achieve climax, one of the sexually charged couples was on their way to snort some coke off of each others naked bodies, right before the guy got out he paid me very well and told me he was going to “fuck her in the ass” I chuckled. What drugs do to people only me and you know. I also drove this Italian lady around with a group of her friends, one of them kept telling me this story how in Banff she tried to suck a cabby off but the guy just wouldn’t do it. Banff is a great place to drive Taxi, loads of culture and lots of transients. My last fare drove around with me, we talked for a while, I liked it a lot. I convinced her to just cruise around and not go gamble, we had a seriously deep conversation, but not to deep. People want to join me on my escapades sometimes the fares want to stay and pick people up, to bad it’s my job. I am kind of scared I’m in love with my career, it ain’t ever going to take me anywhere but to somebody elses house. Your house isn’t scary is it? No.
Greedy Pig
Tonight I was taught a lesson in greed. Don’t think cause I’m mister super cabby that I don’t ever get greedy cause I do. This week I was out to make as much cash as possible. I did a great job, but I put in 72 hours of work. Something like 3500km this week. That’s a lot for me. O.k so three dudes get in the taxi on white ave, they all have account slips from the Christmas party their company just threw. They were enjoying the ride so much they told me that they were all going to give me their slips, that meant the fare times three. It was a big fare, in total I stood to gain 150$. Good deal right? One of the guys said he would give me a forth slip if I lent him enough cash to buy a bottle of Crown Royal. I did it. (stupid). We get to the house, and the three start filling out the slips and signing them, but right as they leave I realize that the account on the slip belongs to Capital taxi. (not the company I work for) Fuck! I had to find a Capital car to buy 150$ worth of slips from me. I pull up to a 7 11 and see one. #129 Capital. I knock on the window and ask if he can purchase the slips, except the person driving the car is a kid. The car belonged to his girlfriends father and he was just out pushing drugs. Fuck. I was disappointed in myself for doing something shady and then finding out something shady and not being able to really do anything. I should have mentioned the number to my dispatch so they could contact Capital and suspend the owner of 129. I let the asshole get away because I felt my behavior wasn’t much better. I got those boys to give me all those slips because I was against the cooperate pig, but I was being a hypocrite. I sold those slips to a Capital guy who was driving a van, I told them they were legit(which they were, just not for me) he paid me 60$ enough to cover the coast of the Crown Royal and the ride I gave the group of guys. I ended up breaking even instead of making an extra 100$. I’m pretty sure there is a guy who programs our lives that lives in space. Am I crazy or what?
your daddy is here, with a Polish accent
Last night it was so cold that no one went out, no one. Man it was so cold blogger was down, so this is my post, it’s dull and kinda weak but so was last night, Im out again tonight, Sundays the ongoing history of new Music on Sonic. It’s a very nice show to listen to in -30 weather. Stay safe kids and don’t drink and drive, walk.
That Russian whore got dumped
I drove a bunch of lawyers from the strip joint. Lawyers definitely are kings in this world. I dropped two of them off downtown the third went North. The man made me question myself in a great way. He was so open minded about all my jaded thoughts on life. He was a prosecutor. He told me that most of the cops are really good guys, and to tell you the truth he is probably right. He was a good guy he let off a real vibe, and he forced me to look at myself, I want to be more optimistic, fuck I wish he would have asked me to drive him to a brothel, but no he was good, fuck smart good people they’re the ones keeping the world going round. I love Obama, I think that the world is in for a change. I can’t wait. My last fare was a couple, a women gang banger and her 20 year old cousin, out looking to score crack, they were Native. I fucking love old school native culture, I told them to forget about the crack, they didn’t we drove around looking to score, they tried hard and found nothing. It was me, I took them to all the wrong places, even though they told me where to go. They did not get high they went to bed, I’m a fucking king, fixing a crack head is like going to the strippers for me, but I’m sleepy so come back tomorrow, or I’ll leave you standing in the cold. Its Fucking beyond cold, stay safe everyone.
Oh there was this women who fell and cracked her head on an open door. Her husband left the door open while he was peeing on the taxi, she slipped and hit her head on the corner. She is probably very hurt right now and the husband was an asshole, she should have went to the hospital, I hope you’re alive lady even though you and your man sucked, their kid was my age he flagged me down to drive them home from Franco’s. She must have a concussion she really hit herself hard, she almost fell in a puddle of her mans urine. Awful.
That last clip is kind of a Joke
I had this dream that I was at this party and I was there to cut the grass. I thought I was going to cut it with my taxi??? But then the host gave me a box and I was forced to build a lawn mower that looked like a cop car, strange. Has anyone out there seen Disney’s Cars, that movie was missing a taxi.
International soccer star from Hong Kong not China
Holly shit I was on the Bear, Mat something played Rape Me by Nirvana, and then in the morning Garner Andrews let me stroke his radio show ego, and then he played me. God really is looking out for me these days, I’ll be posting a short vid later, bye
For Garner thanks for making my morning, that accident killed it
International soccer star from Hong Kong not China
Holly shit I was on the Bear, Mat something played Rape Me by Nirvana, and then in the morning Garner Andrews let me stroke his radio show ego, and then he played me. God really is looking out for me these days, I’ll be posting a short vid later, bye
For Garner thanks for making my morning, that accident killed it
Who Drives You?
What drives me? A Ford Crown Vic. I thinks it’s an ex police interceptor. Ha. What drives me is the fear that I’ll never get what I want out of life. I need satisfaction all the time, I never seem to get it completely. There is always something stopping me from getting exactly what I want, but sometimes I find I get what I need. I’m a fucking Rolling Stone, and I don’t really like the old bastards but I get them. I listened to Led Zeppelin tonight, Stair Way to heaven, that song sums it up doesn’t it? What drives me? The Fucking truth, the naked dirty truth, that gets me off. Shit stinks and I’m learning to love it. Do you? Sometimes I wonder if a Subaru or an Audi or a BMW will make me happy. Usually I think it would but I know it wouldn’t. Those people driving those cars feel like the rest of us, except they’re a little deeper in the financial hole then others. Ha fuck them. What drives me? finding myself, that’s an important thing that keeps me going. Knowing who I am in this world. Sometimes I think that it’s all mine and sometimes I think that the world is hear just to roll over me. The older I get and the more people I meet the greyer it all becomes. When I was young it was so black and white, such a fantastic fantasy. Now it’s all such a mix of good and bad, bad and good. Life is a drive and I know it. I think its a journey, my job is to drive others. I do my job well. What drives me? The desire to find someone to take me for a spin, take me for a ride that will blow my mind, or at least make me want to tip them 150$. The first night I ever drove a cab, I was living in Banff, this rig pig wanted me to find him a hooker. He racked up a 150$ fare in Banff looking for a whore, he got himself some blow. I could hear him snorting it in the back seat. He never found himself that prostitute, but at the end of the ride he paid the buck fifty and tipped me 150$. Sounds like I blew him right? That guy was one of my first fares, I filled some sort of void in his life, just for a a short time. What drives me? I drive myself. Why? Cause I love, no joke. Love is the driving force, sometimes I hate but I love that too. What drives me? My Boy, My Sun. My Man. What drives me? Driving You. Lol
this song is what drives me Ween-Its gonna be a long Night listen to it, it’ll drive you insane
It’s all about the context, right Boss?
O.k this post needs to be written, I have something to say about women. Girls you don’t know how to protect yourselves from dirty predator men. Well some of you do I’m sure but there a some women out there that don’t know what to do when a cabby asks them for sexual… anything. Listen to me, even if you think the taxi driver is cute and you want him to give you the bone, the mother fucker is at work. Professionals don’t go and fuck their fares, fucking someone you don’t know is dangerous. Women if a cabby askes for a blow job, even if he asks nicely, report him. You get the number off the side of his car and you call the company, all organizations take that kind of thing seriously. Cabbies who are aggressive enough to ask someone they don’t know for a blow job are aggressive enough to rape a girl who is too drunk to say “no”. Think about it, please. Next time a taxi driver makes himself available sexually to you report him. All drivers are by law suppose to have their Id’s visible at all times, if they don’t you should be weary. Please remember to always pay attention to the taxi you enter, remember that you can call the company or the police (who do nothing) right from the front or back seat. If the fucker touches you he is a predator. All men want to have easy sex with women they don’t know, it’s natural, but it’s a primitive instinct that is not an acceptable behavior in a western taxi. Think about it ladies. Remember to protect yourself from those types of monsters. If you don’t stop it, it will happen to your daughters and so on and so on. These guys should be dragged by their balls behind a taxi. God I don’t believe this stuff, I hear stories about bad drivers all the time, and I never hear that the victim told on the asshole. Tonight I drove to Edson in a snow storm, I risked my ass to deliver some 5000$ part for Finning. Scary trip, anyone who loves me out there would have been horrified that I drove in those awful conditions. The delivery paid my rent in five hours, fuck I’m a sell out, but man I haven’t done anything that dangerous since I was on drugs. Adrenaline Rush the whole way there. On the way back I was the only car on the road, I made it back, rock on everyone and stay fucking safe.
HeatScore CowBoys
I produced this in one weekend
The initial post
Me and the CBC
for those who have not seen it, Webby people
HeatScore CowBoys
I produced this in one weekend
The initial post
Me and the CBC
for those who have not seen it, Webby people
I have a new bearded buddy, Thank You for Real
Fuck, cold, fucking Hard core cold and yet I still had a great night. I picked up a lot of personals. One of the reasons personal calls are so important to me is they are safe. I had this crack dealer in the car. He was drunk and willing to flip the car over to prove a point. I was scared of him but I couldn’t show it. He was making fun of me and he was putting me down. I just wanted to get him out of the car. I find that the best way to do that is to just get the fuckers home. This guy lived in the west end. 6503 177st, please someone burn that building down, get everyone good out and burn all the bad fuckers down. This dealer has a kid. The west end is getting very bad and the cops are pigs who jerk off. Do you guys know that the Hells Angels are probably a better organization for protecting the people then the EPS, sad but true. EPS is a joke. Next time you see a cop ask him or her what he or she does for a living and if he or she says something other then masturbate call him or her a liar. Hey when was the last time you actually had a EPS officer help you? anyone comment. When was the last time you witnessed the Police prevent crime before it happened. You know a check stop on Calgary trail and 50th ave every night over and over again is predictable, all the drunks have to do is take 99st, and they do, and the cops sit on Calgary trail and jerk each other off. God awful pigs. I was thinking of video taping it and selling it as awful gay porn. I would call it “The Boys in Blue eat bitter Cum and like it”. Fuck them. I drove some cool cats too Ten Second Epic tonight, almost the whole band, fucking awesome they inspired me. They told me their favorite stories that they read in my blog and it blew my mind. It made me realize the blog is being read and can have an influence. That’s why I want to make you readers “sick” in a good way, I’m going to start taking this diary seriously. This blog is more then just a safe ride through a world filled sex, drugs, drunks and Rock and Roll, it’s a safe ride through a world filled with rapists, murderers, crack dealers, gang bangers, whores, pimps and their victims. I want to save my city because I’m raising a child in this world and I want him to grow up on a good planet where police don’t just make porn they water the flowers in the Garden of Eden. Cheese, but hey its true, have a kid you’ll understand. Tonight it was -30, -40 with wind chill and I had dozens of dirty skanks try to pile in the car 6 at a time because they were cold. They were wearing things like belly shirts and short skirts even open toed sandals (which I love). If they weren’t dressed for the weather I kicked them the fuck out. Someone has to teach sluts a lesson, and since their fathers fucked them instead of raising them I decided I’m the one, the asshole to do it. Next time ladies wear a jacket and you won’t have to offer men a blow job to get out of the cold. I picked up a personal at the Union and she brought along a friend who plays in a band that plays some heavy tunes “bayoneta” check em out, Tell them what you think. I also drove a couple to the International Airport, they told me that you can see a women fuck a donkey on stage in Mexico, she told me “It’s like going to see Top Gun.”
The night was hotter then anyone one of us could have ever expected
Wow it was cold last night, to cold for me to drive, I made some shitty cash and I was on my way home when , I got a call. It was around 12am, turned out Liann Cameron needed a ride. Wow what are the chances of me getting a sweet young Edmonton celebrity. Slim to non, well that’s what I thought cause a few hours later Sandy from Ten Second Epic called. I wasn’t able to pick him up. Sorry Sandy. Hey Liann, Thanks for the call feel free to call whenever, and Sandy just checked out the new single, Fucking Rights, January 27 2009 I can’t fucking wait, stay safe in that neck of the woods. Peace
That’ll be nice,
Some chick from out east peed outside my car. Just took a squat and pissed, fast. Holy shit. The snow rain mixed made for a real slow night. No one really that crazy, I would still be driving but something happened to the car and I had to take it into the Garage. I made no money and the car started to let off a stink into the inside of the cab. It made me nauseouse and mad. I’ll be back behind the wheel tomorrow, woopee. At least there is the Radio. I’ve been tuning into 97.3, I dig the doors, Pink Floyd and the Beetles. All that Jazz, I’m going to sleep I think I inhaled too much CO2,. Fuck it, Lets fill a bag with glue.
a lot like you
It was Wednesday, I like Wednesdays their nice and slow, I can just cruise around and think. I’ve been thinking lots. Tonight I got a call to a south west address, it was a young blond girl. She was drunk and happy, she liked me, I let her smoke. We drove to the west end. On the way there she wanted me to kiss her, she got her lips all puckered up and stared at me. She was beautiful but drunk and going to her mans house. I didn’t do it, I laughed. In real life things like that don’t happen. After she told me I lost my chance. I told her she was hot but it’s cool that I missed my chance. She puckered up again and I missed another chance to kiss this smoking hot girl. Well on the way to her mans house she guided me into a crescent, there she pounced on me and gave me a kiss, a good one. I was still driving. All I can remember is trying to keep the car on the road,. That was the first time I’ve had that happen to me in the cab. She paid me so well, I knew she liked me. On her way to her boyfriends door she fell in the snow, she fell cause she was drunk. I’m glad I missed my chances putting the moves on a young drunk girl, she was vulnerable in a cute way. Her forcing herself on me was nice though, I felt like a lucky guy,. She has the URL to the blog I wonder if she’ll post a comment about last night. I don’t like to kiss and tell but I had to. Hey lady, you were out there and it was cool having you ride with me. I’m glade you didn’t miss your chance, hope you forgot what you did when you went inside and kissed your man. I also drove two native gangsters from Hobbema. They scared the shit out of me but they liked me and I stroked their egos like a little cabby slut, I guess in life its tit for tat.
a lot like you
It was Wednesday, I like Wednesdays their nice and slow, I can just cruise around and think. I’ve been thinking lots. Tonight I got a call to a south west address, it was a young blond girl. She was drunk and happy, she liked me, I let her smoke. We drove to the west end. On the way there she wanted me to kiss her, she got her lips all puckered up and stared at me. She was beautiful but drunk and going to her mans house. I didn’t do it, I laughed. In real life things like that don’t happen. After she told me I lost my chance. I told her she was hot but it’s cool that I missed my chance. She puckered up again and I missed another chance to kiss this smoking hot girl. Well on the way to her mans house she guided me into a crescent, there she pounced on me and gave me a kiss, a good one. I was still driving. All I can remember is trying to keep the car on the road,. That was the first time I’ve had that happen to me in the cab. She paid me so well, I knew she liked me. On her way to her boyfriends door she fell in the snow, she fell cause she was drunk. I’m glad I missed my chances putting the moves on a young drunk girl, she was vulnerable in a cute way. Her forcing herself on me was nice though, I felt like a lucky guy,. She has the URL to the blog I wonder if she’ll post a comment about last night. I don’t like to kiss and tell but I had to. Hey lady, you were out there and it was cool having you ride with me. I’m glade you didn’t miss your chance, hope you forgot what you did when you went inside and kissed your man. I also drove two native gangsters from Hobbema. They scared the shit out of me but they liked me and I stroked their egos like a little cabby slut, I guess in life its tit for tat.
a lot like you
It was Wednesday, I like Wednesdays their nice and slow, I can just cruise around and think. I’ve been thinking lots. Tonight I got a call to a south west address, it was a young blond girl. She was drunk and happy, she liked me, I let her smoke. We drove to the west end. On the way there she wanted me to kiss her, she got her lips all puckered up and stared at me. She was beautiful but drunk and going to her mans house. I didn’t do it, I laughed. In real life things like that don’t happen. After she told me I lost my chance. I told her she was hot but it’s cool that I missed my chance. She puckered up again and I missed another chance to kiss this smoking hot girl. Well on the way to her mans house she guided me into a crescent, there she pounced on me and gave me a kiss, a good one. I was still driving. All I can remember is trying to keep the car on the road,. That was the first time I’ve had that happen to me in the cab. She paid me so well, I knew she liked me. On her way to her boyfriends door she feel in the snow, she feel cause she was drunk. I’m glad I missed my chances putting the moves on a young drunk girl, she was vulnerable in a cute way. Her forcing herself on me was nice though, I felt like a lucky guy,. She has the URL to the blog I wonder if she’ll post a comment about last night. I don’t like to kiss and tell but I had to. Hey lady, you were out there and it was cool having you ride with me. I’m glade you didn’t miss your chance, hope you forgot what you did when you went inside and kissed your man. I also drove two native gangsters from Hobbema. They scared the shit out of me but they liked me and I stroked their egos like a little cabby slut, I guess in life its tit for tat.
OutPUToutPutOut
Who you really are. Who are you? People change all the time, sometime is less then a second. Last weekend I went out to the Bar and got loaded. I had a blast. I was talking to one of the Bass players of the many bands that were playing and I was telling him that in a strange way I’m like a rock star, except people don’t recognise me outside of the taxi. Then the Bass player dude and I went out for a smoke (I smoked that night, cause I was loaded). I was being an asshole to this stuck up chick, She was being a bitch, then I told her “my name is Jacob, I drive a taxi” and she jumped in the air and was like”Oh my God Jacob, I remember you.” She stopped being a bitch,(cause she loved me) I became a bigger asshole. My life as a taxi driver is nothing like my life as an individual. It’s weird. I guess I’m someone else behind the wheel of my cab. People trust that guy, they tell him he’s the best, that they love him, but me I don’t get that. Sometimes people want to chill out with me outside of work and I would usually love to, but they wake up the next morning from their druken night and don’t even remember me. That’s good cause if they actually got to know they would realize I’m fucking scary cool. Not Cool Cool. Tonight some kid got in and was braging how he loves to drink and drive, he even showed me a picture of a car he recently flipped while driving under the influence. He got in with a bunch of random people going to different destinations. He was such and asshole while everyone was in the ride, but when it was just the two of us he relaxed and became himself. A pretty cool red neck farm boy Albertan, who didn’t really share the same rasist views as the others. When he first got in he was the guy I felt I had to watch. The people who aren’t themselves around others, for whatever reason are the most dangerous. I’m not like others I like people for who they are, and I can bring it out of them. I just need the cab to bring them into the right contex. Then they’re putty in my hands, and all I ever want from them is a story, a real one, no lies. I can always see through the lies, even outside the taxi. Except outside I point out the flaw, in the taxi I just smile and nod in aggrement because in the taxi I want everyone to be happy even people I don’t like. My taxi is a safe haven for people to be themselves. Strange but true, that Taxi is teaching me more and more about you. I hope I’m letting you know about me.
Metalica was myBreadbread and Butter
New post, I’m great tonight, not sleepy at all. My internal clock has been playing havoc with my life lately. Last night I had a flat tier, I changed it in about 10-15minutes. That’s a good time. I Think. It’s all about the jack, mine is new meaning NO RUST. Who fucking cares? Well the fare that has to wait outside in the cold. They let me into their house to wash my hands. It was the fare that told me the tier was leaking. She heard the hissing at New City. I also had a crazy cabby try to run me off the road, I caught the butt end of our confrontation on camera, and I’m going in tomorrow to talk to management about the level of insanity this guy was outputting. He almost killed me on purpose and he had a fare in the car. Crazy fucker. Last night I was also driving up the freeway and listening to About a Girl by nirvana, the song ended and the DJ Shawn Bogner dedicated it to the best cabby in the city and then he said my name. Fuck I almost cried I was so touched. I’m getting around like a dirty little bastard, except I’m socially acceptable and I’m probably someone you would want to drive your mom home cause I take care of business. Now tonight was so great, I had a great conversation with this lady. Then I drove Metalica fans ha, there was this couple from Up north. All they wanted to do was go to Metalica then go see some strippers and snort blow. The Stippers were closed and I don’t now where to find blow. It made sense though. I took them to On the Rocks. Metalica did ensure my sun was gonna eat, That concert put out some seriously happy crazy cool clientele. Metalica, your fans were exceptional. One of the fares from Rexal was from the military, I told him he could do whatever he wanted too, he took me to McDonalds, the roads sucked but the people were worth it.
Yo no hablo en espanol.
Salsa night at On the Rocks, Latin themes are sexy, Latin People are hot. Fuck I wish I could Hablo en Espaniol, with a ….. It snowed tonight, and I’m getting up bright and early to fight a ticket. I won’t be working, I’m going to be shooting some sort of video at New City, then I hope to take a cab home because I’m going to be to drunk to drive, maybe, that’s if justice is served and the ticket is thrown out. Who knows. I just want to relax and hopefully come back a better more inspired writer, cause lately the back seat has been bringing me down. Except tonight I drove a correctional officer from Calgary, She works with youth, she told me she had to watch the 12 year old girl who killed her family a year ago, you guys know what I’m talking bout, she killed them with her 23 year old boyfriend. Man imagine meeting a 12 year old accused of killing three people. Now that would be a killer fare and probably a far out story. Oh and she was found guilty, the boyfriends trial has just started.
Holly shit people work on Wednesday, Why?
Sooo slow, I drove a bulimic, and then a chick who threw up, and then I had a shwarma and threw it up, kidding. Slow and steady wins the race. Except you don’t win much when you do win that race, but that’s not the point the point is you tried, Right? Ok ok I admit it I purge once in a while, but only to maintain my aerodynamic shape. You should see me naked. Imagine having a naked cabby. Well I have a beard. And to you people who might not understand my son is the sun, yes I mean Jesus. I am still a virgin. I was a spelling mistake.
New locks, no kisses, sad dad, no big deal, nevermind
So tiered tonight, Running on no sleep, Who cares? I know. Tuesday in the snow, What a Job. It’s gonna get cold. I can’t stand the cold, I’m having some seriouse problems with my ex, she is wearing my emotions so thin. I’m starting to go crazy, but the cab stabalizes all my bullshit and while I’m in the car, the taxi, all my problems eventually just roll back, that is until I start my civilian car up and realize what is going on in my real life. The Taxi is like a new friend every couple of minutes, a new house, a new world. I won’t ever be able to work a normal job. I’m fucked but at least I like who I am. I’m going to fight a traffic ticket on Friday I can’t wait another adventure. hahahaqhahahahahah fuck!
You gotta have faith
Why do I do it? Why do I drive Taxi? The Truth the T in taxi stands for the Cross. Now you figure out what the other letters stand for then Ill call you psychotic. Why do I do it? I do it because I love it. I love all the things that have happened to me so far. In the taxi and out, I love my life. Its crazy, the taxi amplifies society. Most of the time the stuff that happens to people at night is often forgotten in a drunken haze. Or the person wishes they forgot it. People do strange things in the taxi and lately I don’t care. I just drive and listen to rock and roll. I’ve been a partner in many a strange event. I try not to break the law, and I know I never have willingly. I just look forward, I check the rear view make sure I’m safe and flow around the city. The city is my cage, Its my jungle. Its where I snag up random people and feed on their inner thought and emotions. The night lets out this animal in people, the instinct, the id. My car is ego and Im a superman. I love it. I sang with a fare tonight, he was a realtor. First time I ever sang with a fare, we sang the new Killers song, something about a dancer. A couple almost had sex listening to Hole, it was a good Sunday, Can’t wait till tomorow. That’s why I drive a taxi.
I have no friends and only socialize at work, sad or what? I also listen to a lot of Radio, I fucking love the radio
Just because you’re 40 doesn’t mean you ain’t sexy, just because your 30 don’t mean your old. When you’re 26 though you should know better then to talk to strangers in the middle of the night. I am a guy and with that come many vices. Women know how to work me. I don’t play the ladies while driving cause I’m at work but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. I haven’t yet. Its been a while since I broke up with my babies mama. We still love each other just in separate beds. So there are women out there that might be able to penetrate my little cabbie heart. Tonight there was a couple, two stuck out like sore thumbs, they were on white ave they got in and had no money, I took them home for free. Then at 4am while most of the city was sleeping I got a call on my cell phone. Ashley, she gave me the address, I gunned it. When I got there I realized I was going to drive a chick with no money, one of them got in, she had 10$, she lived across town, I drove her. I told her the next time she calls me for a ride to “take care of me”. People sometimes think I mean something dirty when I say that but what I mean is I want cash, Hard, Cold cash, No blow Jobs just money so I can feed myself and my Sun. This is such a good job and tonight was great. I was invited into a ladies house, she wanted me to type in the URL to the blog. I did it I was nervous going into someones house but I did it, she was a sweet women and she tipped me beyond good, I hope she calls me back one day. There were lots of sweet people last night, I can’t wait to get back up tomorrow and do it all over again.
Help me Jesus, I’m having problems with the door lock
I was an asshole to a guy on Whyte ave last night, he got in at a Red light, I didn’t want him. There were hundreds of people to choose from, I wanted my natural selection. He was a grizzly dude who had a bad ass written all over him. Tough. I didn’t want him. I kicked him out and picked up a couple, hipsters. They told me that Edmonton has a very cultural scene. Compared to where they’re from. Ontario. Small town next to the big T. They told me Edmonton is open mined. I gotta open my mind even more. Fuck. God, this change in the economy, I’m feeling it. The people are there, but man the people are tightening up. The streets are aaa, warm. I want to describe the difference, from the begining of the boom, all the way to future. So it started with the whole Alberta has jobs. The East flocked to the west to make money, Alberta put out. Alberta is supporting everyone that made it in. The Bubble here has not burst, not yet. Finning laid off a bunch a people. No work. Less work, whatever. Two years ago houses made money, people were taking lots of taxis, and everyone was drunk. The music scene is flourishing in Edmonton, because of the boom. Now houses are worth less then what everyone new paid for them. There are lots of people who have 30 year 5000$/month mortgages here, but now there houses are worth 200,000$ bucks. things are gonna change once people can’t just make a lot of money jerking off. I should shut my trap, cause I know I’m gonna be working more hours to get by, so Ill see all the shit unfold. Fuck there are more musicians during recessions. Good luck to us all. Cause the future is looking … I don’t know but I can’t wait to see. Peace
obsessive compulsive for life
That last post left a scare. Tonight was a roll over, sweat lucky to be living alive. Sonic played the new Kings of Leon single. Nice. I was awful today kinda a bitch, I felt bloated for most of the shift. Sometimes I get stuck needing to go to the bathroom, or farting right before my fare gets in or flag flags me down. I don’t fart in the car with others but I do fart. So do you. God not much to talk about drove real slow tonight, circled got some flags, and some decent trips. I met an artist, she was cool. Winter popped up, it was cold. You could see your breath. nice and easy.
Unlock all guns and bring your friends
Sunday nights are usually not very good, tonight was no exception, except for one thing. So I’m having trouble trying to scope out a decent flag anywhere. I pull up to On the Rocks and some fucking asshole cabby steals my spot. I move on to the next bar, Buddies. The king of gay bars in Edmonton right now. Three dudes get in. We drive one of them to his house right off of Jasper, he goes into his pad to pick up some cash. While he’s out the two that are left talk about what’s gonna happen. I heard one of the guys say “no fucking.” Like most of my fares these guys though I was an awesome taxi driver. I let them smoke. The guy comes back from getting his wallet, they’re all in the taxi. We’re cruising up jasper toward the second and last address when Smells like teen Spirit turns on. The song is great I turn it up, and do a shoulder check to change lanes, turns out the guys started a party in the back seat without me even realizing it. The guy behind me had his face in another guys croch. The dude on the passenger side back seat was watching the sex act. I was blasting Nirvana. I kept my eyes on the road and listened to the song. All three were sucking each other off. It was so fucked up, the song just kept me moving forward, when it was done I turned it down. The Guy behind me asked if I was hard. I think he would have offered me a blow job if I had told him I was. I wasn’t. I’m not gay. Tonight reassured me of that. Aaa, now I asked them “please don’t make a mess”. They were just fooling around waiting to do drugs and have a gay orgy. I’ve never had anything like this happen to me, and it shocked me at first, but Nirvana was on the radio, those boys got lucky, I let down my guard and for the rest of the time I made sure to put myself in a position that I would not have to do a shoulder check. That is a dirty story. I gave them the URL. They should comment.
On the Rocks is where all the good girls go
Reading up on my old posts, I think the city has changed since I started driving the Cab. The rise and fall of an economy is far out, it transformed my world. My world is different then it was two or three years agofpr sure. I ride a wave of some serious freedom because of my elaborate, and provocative paste. My past is a way to jam myself into the lives of other. I’m the equivalent of a mmmmm social toothpick, and driving the taxi helps me act as a pipe cleaner. I’ve rubbed up against almost every walk of life that lives in this city. Rubbed up meaning I’ve shot the shit with a lot of people. Edmonton is seriously monotonous. I would like to drive somewhere more exotic, sometimes. I fucking love Edmonton though. It’s my home town and because of this city I am who I am. The last time I left Canada I was 22 and I was only gone for like six months. Wisconsin. I want to drive away into the unknown, I want to be a rock star. Fame must be tough, I like making people like me, adapting to them. Sometimes you get people who kinda work like me, talk like me. It’s weird lately people really enjoy the ride but I don’t know what that means. I think it’s the fact that I’m abrasive, I manage to embed myself into the cargoes life, its existence, I try to. Don’t get me wrong people try to fight it, but I’m good at it, in the car at least. My driving might be a part of it, I hypnotize them with the ride itself. Definitely, I’m manipulative, but so is everyone. I’m just a Cabby.
Convenience bag for him and her
The weather was good tonight, I drove around, watched the night go by. At around 5am I accept a fare. West Edmonton Motor Inn. Its a great place, has all the nick knacks that make an Inn, in. I pull up and my fare is sitting in the lobby. That’s strange. He gets in and tells me his address. North Side. Yellow head to 82nd street and North to 160 something ave. “You got money” I ask him. He say’s “yes.” I rarely ask people if they have money, I never ask to see it. I could smell the sent of a women, a street walker, it’s a distinct ordure. Perfume and Booze, and drugs and sex, and ass that’s the way it smells. The women cover it up and the men go off stinking like Whoore. Aaa. SO he gets in. We go. “What the fuck is up” I ask. “Man” he say’s with a sad look on his face,”she took my truck.” “Who” I ask. “This girl” he says “she was sweet.” He outlines her body. “She took my car, she took my keys” he stops for a moment, “I told the Police, I told them that we met on 118ave”. He puts his head down. He’s still so loaded. I ask the killer question. “You got kids?”. “An 11 year old boy and a 14 year old girl.” he tells me. I laughed. I did, lots. I told him he picked up the devil. She took his truck to a dude that’s gonna beat her up and feed her drugs for it. “how about the old lady” I ask. “My life is over” he says, “she’ll never trust me” he hesitates “she’s a good women.” This guy was done there was no anger, only fear. He was still so drunk. He told me that he never slept with her. Lie, that was a lie, I could smell it, maybe all you have to do is kiss to stink like it, but I don’t think so. The smell makes me sick, it’s distinct, a melange of night “Live” treats, an organic stench, Aaa. He had to knock on the door, he needed to wake her up to get in. “It’s all over” he kept saying. I told him he could lie, I also looked up into the sky from underneath my windshield and told him “it’s all up to the big guy.” I’m fucking awful. The dude was in a lose lose situation. That smell was going to give him away, he was just too drunk to understand that. That was a really great ride for me. I felt enlightened, prostitution, street walker stuff is not cool, it stinks. But wow it can fuck up the flow of things.
Sex. Drugs, Rock and Roll, I wounder if the ressesion is gonna trigger some good tunes
Oh and then there was this lady who was so done, boiled pink. Maybe drugged, SHe was in another taxi throwing up. He called an ambulance. The peramedic chick, was all tough and made me feel like a whimp for not just taking the drunk home, she said “Thats your job” to the driver that made the 911 call. The ambulace had special barf bags, they gave me a bunch “cool, if you have to spew? spew into this”. The lady made it home safe.
There was also a kid that lost 6000$ playing baccarat he was 20 years old. Addiction. What an ass.
Convenience bag for him and her
The weather was good tonight, I drove around, watched the night go by. At around 5am I accept a fare. West Edmonton Motor Inn. Its a great place, has all the nick knacks that make an Inn, in. I pull up and my fare is sitting in the lobby. That’s strange. He gets in and tells me his address. North Side. Yellow head to 82nd street and North to 160 something ave. “You got money” I ask him. He say’s “yes.” I rarely ask people if they have money, I never ask to see it. I could smell the sent of a women, a street walker, it’s a distinct ordure. Perfume and Booze, and drugs and sex, and ass that’s the way it smells. The women cover it up and the men go off stinking like Whoore. Aaa. SO he gets in. We go. “What the fuck is up” I ask. “Man” he say’s with a sad look on his face,”she took my truck.” “Who” I ask. “This girl” he says “she was sweet.” He outlines her body. “She took my car, she took my keys” he stops for a moment, “I told the Police, I told them that we met on 118ave”. He puts his head down. He’s still so loaded. I ask the killer question. “You got kids?”. “An 11 year old boy and a 14 year old girl.” he tells me. I laughed. I did, lots. I told him he picked up the devil. She took his truck to a dude that’s gonna beat her up and feed her drugs for it. “how about the old lady” I ask. “My life is over” he says, “she’ll never trust me” he hesitates “she’s a good women.” This guy was done there was no anger, only fear. He was still so drunk. He told me that he never slept with her. Lie, that was a lie, I could smell it, maybe all you have to do is kiss to stink like it, but I don’t think so. The smell makes me sick, it’s distinct, a melange of night “Live” treats, an organic stench, Aaa. He had to knock on the door, he needed to wake her up to get in. “It’s all over” he kept saying. I told him he could lie, I also looked up into the sky from underneath my windshield and told him “it’s all up to the big guy.” I’m fucking awful. The dude was in a lose lose situation. That smell was going to give him away, he was just too drunk to understand that. That was a really great ride for me. I felt enlightened, prostitution, street walker stuff is not cool, it stinks. But wow it can fuck up the flow of things.
Sex. Drugs, Rock and Roll, I wounder if the ressesion is gonna trigger some good tunes
Oh and then there was this lady who was so done, boiled pink. Maybe drugged, SHe was in another taxi throwing up. He called an ambulance. The peramedic chick, was all tough and made me feel like a whimp for not just taking the drunk home, she said “Thats your job” to the driver that made the 911 call. The ambulace had special barf bags, they gave me a bunch “cool, if you have to spew? spew into this”. The lady made it home safe.
There was also a kid that lost 6000$ playing baccarat he was 20 years old. Addiction. What an ass.
WHat are the chances?
The truth is I want someone to give me the same quality service that I give other people No a blow job is not included. Something that made me happy happened once again in the taxi. O.k so I’m creeping around the basic Jasper to 82ave routine, not making the cash because its becoming a typical slow Thursday night. Back and forth, no customers, it’s nice gas is so cheap. The weather was bad tonight but actually it was good it just looked bad. I’m trying not to bitch about the fact that the whole world blows ass, when a voice in my head says’s “chill, turn up the tunes it’s not just about the money.” Then I pull up to filthy M.cnasties on WHite, except I can’t park right in front, and I want to cause I see the guitar player from Ten Second Epic. I make my way around the block and this time I park in front. Craig remembers me, and the bass player needed a ride. Sandy needed a ride to his pad on the east side, I talked a lot. The man was super cool. I actually remember looking at him one night, and then recognizing him on the bands website. They were super cool. That made my night. I had a good time from there on in. The money eventually came. Airport trip, an American man with a way of telling stories, it’s the accent. I speak English, North America has several dialects. I like hearing diversity. Newphy and any kind. I like other languages so much and Alberta doesn’t. Alberta assimilates culture. Edmonton is kind of like the Borg, but I got to drive a Rock Star and some crazy comet fell over us last night. There was also this girl who read my blog to me. I was embarassed but she also recorded herself singing ABBA, loud in the car, all her friends were singing it, loud. It was a fun trip, they wanted to be in the blog, I told them that they don’t want to be in the blog cause it’s dirty, but so were they. GOta love driving the Taxi.
I am a Polack too
WHat are the chances?
The truth is I want someone to give me the same quality service that I give other people No a blow job is not included. Something that made me happy happened once again in the taxi. O.k so I’m creeping around the basic Jasper to 82ave routine, not making the cash because its becoming a typical slow Thursday night. Back and forth, no customers, it’s nice gas is so cheap. The weather was bad tonight but actually it was good it just looked bad. I’m trying not to bitch about the fact that the whole world blows ass, when a voice in my head says’s “chill, turn up the tunes it’s not just about the money.” Then I pull up to filthy M.cnasties on WHite, except I can’t park right in front, and I want to cause I see the guitar player from Ten Second Epic. I make my way around the block and this time I park in front. Craig remembers me, and the bass player needed a ride. Sandy needed a ride to his pad on the east side, I talked a lot. The man was super cool. I actually remember looking at him one night, and then recognizing him on the bands website. They were super cool. That made my night. I had a good time from there on in. The money eventually came. Airport trip, an American man with a way of telling stories, it’s the accent. I speak English, North America has several dialects. I like hearing diversity. Newphy and any kind. I like other languages so much and Alberta doesn’t. Alberta assimilates culture. Edmonton is kind of like the Borg, but I got to drive a Rock Star and some crazy comet fell over us last night. There was also this girl who read my blog to me. I was embarassed but she also recorded herself singing ABBA, loud in the car, all her friends were singing it, loud. It was a fun trip, they wanted to be in the blog, I told them that they don’t want to be in the blog cause it’s dirty, but so were they. GOta love driving the Taxi.
I am a Polack too
Someone saw my CBC thing on TV
Pick a pocket. The last fare I drove hated me, but she was one of only a few. I think I am a person that can be hated or liked. Some people are scary and some people are amazing. My clients are the best, tonight I had a few fares who called me back, thanks. I drove a rock band bus driver, and he was the coolest dude, I would drive a bus around the country, have bus driver stories. Rock Band Talk would be all around me. He was cool, he came from Georgia. That’s the South. OK so tonight was awful fucking slow, the cash was coming in but with no flow, without a rhythm. I drove around cursing God out, asking him or her “Why you Bastard Jesus Why? Am I not a good man?” and BAM Jesus would shut me down with the Crack Head fare. A fare born to waste a cabbies time, so after he went into his parents house and took an awful long time, I went up and knocked, 65year old dad in a pair of tighty whites shows up to the door and pays the addicts fare. Both hands in the cookie jar. Lots of people in the city know me, or of me. It’s a decent reputation I think. So driving around talking shit to the man upstairs when I get a fare, some dude, to work. As soon as I shut the meter off the machine beeps. Next, Casino Yellowhead Pokerroom, I tell the dude I’m dropping off at work that “the Casino is a wicked bad place, Devilish!” I get there some old man is smoking outside, I ask him if any other taxi picked anybody up. “I haven’t been here that long” he says. I start talking shit about how the fare ditched me, and decided to stay and gamble “bastard” I grumble to myself. The man standing out side smoking tells me to go in and ask, “good service” he says. “I drove taxi for a long Time I know, go inside and ask who wants a taxi.” I looked at the guy and said “OK” why not?, tonight was awful whats going into a Casino going to do. So I go and I enter a room filled with people gambling. It’s 7 am I was starring at addiction, and every one in that room was looking at me.I hear some dude yell “Taxi”. “Yep and I almost took off without you so hurry” I yell across a few dozen tables. When I left that Casino I thanked that ex Taxi driver. My fare was one of the few winners I’ve ever had the pleasure of driving. Winners are rare, I just want to mention that anybody who got in my taxi last night, you’re a winner. The fare had thousands of dollars and after a great J-Cab ride he tipped me a 100$. The man upstairs works closely with the man downstairs, us in the middle we’re just here for the ride, well I am. Are you?
Global warming is real. I think.
THis is a corrupt and dirty world, but you gotta stick with it, it’s the only place I have to live. I travel 350km a night, sometimes more. I wonder how far other taxi driver from all over the world travel. I wonder. My second last fare was a crazy group of crazy native people. I don’t know if they were on drugs or not. They were out of the ordinary. One of them was psychotic and not one smelled like alcohol. You know what? They were fun. Ice rain and lots of cops not enough or too many. The same old same old super slow night. The people that I did drive were cool, some dude remembered me and by the sound of my voice. I remember lots of voices, can you use that in a court of law. I’m spending long periods of time in the car. It’s kind of a wild place, a taxi cab. I wonder how long being a Taxi driver can last and if I stick with it I have to learn about other cities. Edmonton has a grid system, so it’s easy. Edmonton is also really big. Edmonton. Canada! Calgary. Calgary? Is Calgary hard to figure out? Can you make $ in Calgary? I want to start a production company. In Canada. Cause soon it’s going to be hot here like in Cali cause the west coast is falling into the ocean, fuck I’m done\Peace
THe World will end many will die but my kid is gonna survive for the new world
Kind of a sad Thursday. Slow, that’s O.k, I survived which is good, and i have another battery for my cell phone. I got it from this fare, this chick I’ve driven in the past. Young and crazy, the kind of girls who can kind of scare you but it’s cool. She gave me the battery, for the fare, if this battery holds charge for eight solid hours it would be a great accessory. She also let me charge my phone in her pad, Thanks. I’ve been blogging around town. The job, a strange bus driver dude, kinda crazy with a harmonica, he sang me somecazy stuff, I liked it, He said he wants to start a band, I told him “I do too.” Who the fuck knows? Who the fuck cares? Ass long as the battery stays alive I’m on top of it. So many bad drivers, Taxi drivers are the worst. That’s what happens when you run out of steam, you have a hard time keeping it in between the lines. I’m still brewing, got lots of spunk left but nowhere to spew it. Rock Band! I must start a Band. Fuck Ill drive everyone to practice. Practice then work so we need a lenient open minded place to Jam. I’m pumped gotta stay motivated, when the shit is going to hit the fan I’ll be long fucking gone.
to Nowhere

Lunatic in a Taxi
This is great stuff, too good. This was a crazy kid I could deal with, I’m not going to tell you what I got paid, fuck there is so much to be said about this one, mainly that it’s something that made me laugh pretty good.
Lunatic in a Taxi
This is great stuff, too good. This was a crazy kid I could deal with, I’m not going to tell you what I got paid, fuck there is so much to be said about this one, mainly that it’s something that made me laugh pretty good.
Sun Jet
In general the city is a great place to live. Hey it hasn’t snowed yet and it’s not freezing cold. Tonight it stayed above zero. The big bar, I had issues with it again this evening. The CFR is in town right now, Canadian Finals Rodeo. Big fucking deal, so most people flock to the Country bar, Oil City. Now the club is one thing but the traffic around it is another. The worst drivers are behind the wheel of the Taxis scooping Cowkids up. There was some seriously awful driving tonight. Oh and a big fucking Check Stop on Calgary trail, This time I got some pics for you people to see what a Check Stop looks like, there is kids out here in Alberta that do not even know they exist, decent policing seems to have been extinct over the last few years. Man people are good. Almost all people are good. Tonight was not as big a pay off as last night and that seems to effect the psyche of a person. Fuck I shouldn’t worry about the pay off as long as I make it home to my little sun. I’m growing a winter beard. To stay warm as I’m sticking my face out the window. My car is my horse and the top light is my lasso, Yeeeee haw.
Very deep talk in the background, sometimes life is personal.
CBC PROMO
Sun Jet
In general the city is a great place to live. Hey it hasn’t snowed yet and it’s not freezing cold. Tonight it stayed above zero. The big bar, I had issues with it again this evening. The CFR is in town right now, Canadian Finals Rodeo. Big fucking deal, so most people flock to the Country bar, Oil City. Now the club is one thing but the traffic around it is another. The worst drivers are behind the wheel of the Taxis scooping Cowkids up. There was some seriously awful driving tonight. Oh and a big fucking Check Stop on Calgary trail, This time I got some pics for you people to see what a Check Stop looks like, there is kids out here in Alberta that do not even know they exist, decent policing seems to have been extinct over the last few years. Man people are good. Almost all people are good. Tonight was not as big a pay off as last night and that seems to effect the psyche of a person. Fuck I shouldn’t worry about the pay off as long as I make it home to my little sun. I’m growing a winter beard. To stay warm as I’m sticking my face out the window. My car is my horse and the top light is my lasso, Yeeeee haw.
Very deep talk in the background, sometimes life is personal.
CBC PROMO
I’m a Pomeranian
This was by far one of the better nights of my career. Good money in taxi, that is if you know how to work it. Tonight I picked up a group of girls celebrating their girlfriends passing, strange. It was the victims birthday today. The girls wanted to continue through this trying time with good memories of a life that was taken from them much to soon. Good for you ladies. So many fares tonight. I wounder who won the Womens World Boxing championship. Last night I drove the WBC Worlds Super Feather Weight, the lady competing for the title, her brother. Michael Scragg. Nice guy. He was documenting the whole event with a video camera, so I told him to start a blog. Fuck all you people with something to say should start one. I drove over 400km tonight, thank God gas is cheap. There is an abondance of ignorance here in Edmonton. The Oil City is a bad club the police are always there and people line up to get in like dirty retarded sheep. One of the worst things about the Oil City is the way the cops behave around it. They protect the club not the patrons. There should be something done about that club and all the clubs around it. The Bank aaaaaa so gross, if you can never go. There is one owner of all these clubs and this person is getting rich off the destruction of my city. That guy who owns those clubs should be 1. Put in jail (cause he is the creator of such and awful place) 2. be fined for all the destruction and police work he or she caused. 3. be ridiculed as the drug trafficking, booze pushing monkey that the guy really is. But he is getting rewarded with hundreds of clients that line up like animals. Gota love the Oil City shit house, some cop pointed his flash light in my eyes while I was dropping off a fare, he wanted me to move while the girl was still getting out. Fuck him, but because there is some RCMP out there that might actually read my blog I won’t call him by the official barn Yard name. Sorry guys but if you can disrespect me and force me to deal with your inabilities as a department then I as an individual think that I have the right to mention to the public that The EPS are a bunch of wasted TAX dollars sometimes. This is an offensive post I have never actually tried to Police the City, I know nothing about it. And I’m guessing that actually working the Oil city is beyond a massive undertaking. And this young punk, kid who showed me a picture of his tall Cannabis plant said he had a hard time sneaking his pipe in, I should have asked how he got it in, sorry. Here is a couple of words to any one trying to flag a taxi at the Oil city, “Cross the Street.”
Sonic 102.9
Stick it to the man. Just do it. Fuck! Yeah so tonight was beyond what I was expecting, I should never expect shit cause this job has some crazy highs and some powerful lows almost every couple hours and that’s just cause of traffic. Traffic there is lots to traffic. Red lights, Green Lights, Yellow lights, Blue lites. Good people tonight. One guy with a great big bag of pills and cocaine. I looked at it, he showed to me after he payed the fare. He was an odd fellow. But not a bad fellow, well not yet. There is this girl who I think is really cool, shes tough and a bad addict she calls me lots and I pick her up when I can. She tried to push the shit, and she drown in it fast. Anyone know the York Hotel, Jasper Place is next, or whats worse the Transit? Who here is from Edmonton? I fucking love this city inside and out. Next A young dominatrix, hot! Actually two girls who were exotic but legit, real. We went to the McDonald’s drive through two Big Mac meals, extra Big Mac sauce, and Coke. That’s the same stuff I get. New City has dinner? Who knew? A military guy, except he didn’t tell me he was in the military, hinted, subconsciously, I realized later, he was crazy but he could hide it. I was trying to figure him out the whole ride, his friend threw up three times on the way. Once on 100 ave and 163st on a lawn a block away from the 711 I picked him up at. No problems, then once on Fox drive and then once at the Union their final destination. That’s when the crazy guy told me his going to Afghanistan. Who knew? That’s cause I told you. Then I drove a girl to St Albert, I talked my ass off, about my life, my fucking awesome life. I love life, now here watch this
Or listen to this Vox HumaNa
or hey comment here sonic 102.9
Sonic 102.9
Stick it to the man. Just do it. Fuck! Yeah so tonight was beyond what I was expecting, I should never expect shit cause this job has some crazy highs and some powerful lows almost every couple hours and that’s just cause of traffic. Traffic there is lots to traffic. Red lights, Green Lights, Yellow lights, Blue lites. Good people tonight. One guy with a great big bag of pills and cocaine. I looked at it, he showed to me after he payed the fare. He was an odd fellow. But not a bad fellow, well not yet. There is this girl who I think is really cool, shes tough and a bad addict she calls me lots and I pick her up when I can. She tried to push the shit, and she drown in it fast. Anyone know the York Hotel, Jasper Place is next, or whats worse the Transit? Who here is from Edmonton? I fucking love this city inside and out. Next A young dominatrix, hot! Actually two girls who were exotic but legit, real. We went to the McDonald’s drive through two Big Mac meals, extra Big Mac sauce, and Coke. That’s the same stuff I get. New City has dinner? Who knew? A military guy, except he didn’t tell me he was in the military, hinted, subconsciously, I realized later, he was crazy but he could hide it. I was trying to figure him out the whole ride, his friend threw up three times on the way. Once on 100 ave and 163st on a lawn a block away from the 711 I picked him up at. No problems, then once on Fox drive and then once at the Union their final destination. That’s when the crazy guy told me his going to Afghanistan. Who knew? That’s cause I told you. Then I drove a girl to St Albert, I talked my ass off, about my life, my fucking awesome life. I love life, now here watch this
Or listen to this Vox HumaNa
or hey comment here sonic 102.9
I see a sunny side, wait till it snows.
Holly shit was it chill tonight or what? Quiet, relaxed and I made enough dough to live another day. It was nice. I did my job. Somehow I manage to please everyone, from the high class to the no class, I’m both of those. Sad. Good, get it. I love this job so much. Hasn’t been that bad, this week was busy but pleasurable. The police were working the streets. The Roads. Great, the drunks were out in full force. I wonder if it was hard to avoid the one check stop on Calgary trail. It was one of the first Check stops I’ve seen in two years. It was big. Got to love the life. Its been warm. Warm weather is an attitude, it’s provocative and everyone knows that Edmonton is running on some south westerly winds, the cold is coming. But not this weekend. What a strange night.Slow and then fast, you know everyone partied last night, so the night progressed slowly. I hate that shit. I just cruise around slowly looking for a flag, anyone, a bum. Sometimes you can cruise for an hour. I move, shark like circle the waters. Groat road bridge river valley road, 116th street, 109st, high level, Saskatchewan drive, 105st , 82ave, and all over a million times. Love flags, and when everyone needs a Taxi, I choose. My choice, then we see who’s the bum for real. Girls always get picked up first. Manners, boys. I pick up lots of dudes. Its a totally different event each fare. Fuck I’m the same fare. I had a good weekend, My last fare, was out there. A guy Ive driven, with his buddies women, Hunting circling to score, They called! this was no flag. Crack hungry but just starting, using the company credit card “still valid”. Strange. The women, all I ever have to do, to reach in deep is say “Got Kids”. Bang Almost always a Bulls eye. Crack heads are hard to define, but they are people. Just that they are always looking to score, and the women are always using sex to score, and the guys use the drugs to get some. Hunter man pays for food. It was my last fare, I have no radio in the car, no radio. Do you know how crazy you can go with no radio? You start singing to yourself.
I fucking called 911 again, but I saved the river valley single handily
I see a sunny side, wait till it snows.
Holly shit was it chill tonight or what? Quiet, relaxed and I made enough dough to live another day. It was nice. I did my job. Somehow I manage to please everyone, from the high class to the no class, I’m both of those. Sad. Good, get it. I love this job so much. Hasn’t been that bad, this week was busy but pleasurable. The police were working the streets. The Roads. Great, the drunks were out in full force. I wonder if it was hard to avoid the one check stop on Calgary trail. It was one of the first Check stops I’ve seen in two years. It was big. Got to love the life. Its been warm. Warm weather is an attitude, it’s provocative and everyone knows that Edmonton is running on some south westerly winds, the cold is coming. But not this weekend. What a strange night.Slow and then fast, you know everyone partied last night, so the night progressed slowly. I hate that shit. I just cruise around slowly looking for a flag, anyone, a bum. Sometimes you can cruise for an hour. I move, shark like circle the waters. Groat road bridge river valley road, 116th street, 109st, high level, Saskatchewan drive, 105st , 82ave, and all over a million times. Love flags, and when everyone needs a Taxi, I choose. My choice, then we see who’s the bum for real. Girls always get picked up first. Manners, boys. I pick up lots of dudes. Its a totally different event each fare. Fuck I’m the same fare. I had a good weekend, My last fare, was out there. A guy Ive driven, with his buddies women, Hunting circling to score, They called! this was no flag. Crack hungry but just starting, using the company credit card “still valid”. Strange. The women, all I ever have to do, to reach in deep is say “Got Kids”. Bang Almost always a Bulls eye. Crack heads are hard to define, but they are people. Just that they are always looking to score, and the women are always using sex to score, and the guys use the drugs to get some. Hunter man pays for food. It was my last fare, I have no radio in the car, no radio. Do you know how crazy you can go with no radio? You start singing to yourself.
I fucking called 911 again, but I saved the river valley single handily
Who’s Halloween was great? MINE!
Tonight was awesome and so were all my clients. The city was very well behaved. First off all the monsters, nurses, bikers, whores, dentists and ghosts and all that stuff in Edmonton out did themselves this Halloween weekend. I saw underwear lots of underwear. I’m sure many a thing went home to have a scary good time. Tonight was basically all business, good business. There were lots of Northside Trips aaaaa, but the people I drove were all so rocking that I hardly missed the fact that the stereo in my car is dead. There was an address I could not find, just up on Terwilliger drive, I don’t have a new map and the road to the area was just paved I almost got stuck in the fresh pavement. Hahahah shitty joke, I’m gonna upload some clips for you guys to see, to all you great people out there, oh, there was a couple I have to write about. They were young the girl was from the American south, totally she was wild and the two of them (him and her) wanted to make it into the blog. She wanted to do something, I told her that it’s gotta be fucked up to get on the blog, So she went down on her man. Well you see being put under such pressure and having had a few to many alcohol drinks the guy could not achieve aaa you know. It was a good reaction, Fear! Halloween? I thought that was sweet of them to try, for you readers out there. Oh and one of my personals a girl from England called me to pick her up at the UofA I told her I couldn’t but she really wanted a ride. So I showed up and the women fucking ditched me, fuck what a no no. Later that night I saw her waiting for a taxi outside the Bus shelter, So sorry little lady wast my time then I’ll watch you wast yours over and over again, some people don’t know that I’m a gem, but many do and those I thank, because I love being able to serve and support great people. I swear I have a great clientele, and Edmonton does have a heart. Kiss Kiss Bite! Vampire…
Peace
THis was a good night, the city felt safe
Who’s Halloween was great? MINE!
Tonight was awesome and so were all my clients. The city was very well behaved. First off all the monsters, nurses, bikers, whores, dentists and ghosts and all that stuff in Edmonton out did themselves this Halloween weekend. I saw underwear lots of underwear. I’m sure many a thing went home to have a scary good time. Tonight was basically all business, good business. There were lots of Northside Trips aaaaa, but the people I drove were all so rocking that I hardly missed the fact that the stereo in my car is dead. There was an address I could not find, just up on Terwilliger drive, I don’t have a new map and the road to the area was just paved I almost got stuck in the fresh pavement. Hahahah shitty joke, I’m gonna upload some clips for you guys to see, to all you great people out there, oh, there was a couple I have to write about. They were young the girl was from the American south, totally she was wild and the two of them (him and her) wanted to make it into the blog. She wanted to do something, I told her that it’s gotta be fucked up to get on the blog, So she went down on her man. Well you see being put under such pressure and having had a few to many alcohol drinks the guy could not achieve aaa you know. It was a good reaction, Fear! Halloween? I thought that was sweet of them to try, for you readers out there. Oh and one of my personals a girl from England called me to pick her up at the UofA I told her I couldn’t but she really wanted a ride. So I showed up and the women fucking ditched me, fuck what a no no. Later that night I saw her waiting for a taxi outside the Bus shelter, So sorry little lady wast my time then I’ll watch you wast yours over and over again, some people don’t know that I’m a gem, but many do and those I thank, because I love being able to serve and support great people. I swear I have a great clientele, and Edmonton does have a heart. Kiss Kiss Bite! Vampire…
Peace
THis was a good night, the city felt safe
MY PROMO and Show on the CBC
Tonight was a Joke because tomorrow is the punch line, Fucking comment any and everyone.
I would have a link to this kids Magazine named Splurge but this copy has none.
ME jumping with THE CBC
MY PROMO and Show on the CBC
Tonight was a Joke because tomorrow is the punch line, Fucking comment any and everyone.
I would have a link to this kids Magazine named Splurge but this copy has none.
ME jumping with THE CBC
Zippo Zoomer
I almost went to bed without writing my sacred blog posting. I’m kinda lost without it. I have a replacement car, not what I’m used to, My owner keeps a tight shift. I don’t even have a radio in the replacement. Just me and the thoughts in my head. Super slow Wednesday, super slow, but gas is cheap. Halloween is coming very soon. The monsters have been creeping around for a while, the city is creeping too. Boo! Ha Ha Ha like that, scary. I’m excited about the weekend. Maybe ill pay the rent this week. What happened tonight, fucking slow night, with no radio, a few drunks, all nice people most drunk, I had one good chat and that’s about it. I had an uneventful night. I have a job interview tomorrow. 12 pm that’s like 6am for me aaa. I think I’ll get the job, but I don’t know what it is. Nothing beats pushing hack on a Wednesday night.
Great care
Since the accident my company has been very good to me, I am not at fault and they agree, I even got a new car from the head manager, I was suprised at the level of treatment the day driver and I have recieved.
My weekend went just wrong
I had another eventful evening, this young women plowed into my drivers side. I was crossing an intersection on the yellow light. She turned into me. It came out of nowhere, but once I saw it it was to late, she just decided to turn, she was suppose to wait until I crossed the intersection. It happened fast, all accidents do. It was not my fault. I have video of the witnesses, she turned into to me, her wittiness said I was running a yellow meaning that I was able to stop but I continued into the intersection on the yellow. The light was yellow. I have all the witnesses saying that. I ran into a fence, after she hit me I mean, the car just kept moving, the brakes did not seem to work, or I was skidding. The Crown Vic took it. The impact was barley felt, but she almost hit me square on the drives side door. Thank God she missed. I almost hit a pole and a garbage can. wow. I would post the clip of her on her cell phone but I won’t. I got a ticket, Failure intersection Yellow, 150$ and a fine and 3 demerits, its because of the witnesses, I have video of their opinions 30 seconds after it happened, they all said speed was not an issue but I ran the yellow, but I was in the intersection when the light was yellow. That girl was not paying attention, you can tell, I think she was high. She had a bad ass boyfriend who showed up like as soon as I took out the camera. He looked like a …, but what do I know? This happened in a shady neighbourhood, 107 A ave and 97 St the home of pimps and whores.
What is this?
My weekend went just wrong
I had another eventful evening, this young women plowed into my drivers side. I was crossing an intersection on the yellow light. She turned into me. It came out of nowhere, but once I saw it it was to late, she just decided to turn, she was suppose to wait until I crossed the intersection. It happened fast, all accidents do. It was not my fault. I have video of the witnesses, she turned into to me, her wittiness said I was running a yellow meaning that I was able to stop but I continued into the intersection on the yellow. The light was yellow. I have all the witnesses saying that. I ran into a fence, after she hit me I mean, the car just kept moving, the brakes did not seem to work, or I was skidding. The Crown Vic took it. The impact was barley felt, but she almost hit me square on the drives side door. Thank God she missed. I almost hit a pole and a garbage can. wow. I would post the clip of her on her cell phone but I won’t. I got a ticket, Failure intersection Yellow, 150$ and a fine and 3 demerits, its because of the witnesses, I have video of their opinions 30 seconds after it happened, they all said speed was not an issue but I ran the yellow, but I was in the intersection when the light was yellow. That girl was not paying attention, you can tell, I think she was high. She had a bad ass boyfriend who showed up like as soon as I took out the camera. He looked like a …, but what do I know? This happened in a shady neighbourhood, 107 A ave and 97 St the home of pimps and whores.
What is this?
My phone keeps dieing
So the CBC wired the taxi, the coolest shit. Tiny cameras, I pick up a personal fare, and a couple of people, we chatted about Edmonton and Celine Dion. Not many fares were there. I pulled up to the oil city and some dude smashed my window. There were three kids in the car, email me kids I got footage of your asses, what a crazy thing, I was so excited about this, and it ended so aaaaaa. The city is gross and it showed itself on national TV with Scott Fralick. Fate, destiny, I don’t know what to say, I called 911, I think I recorded myself talking to 911, Wow, those conversations are always frantic. It’s because there were ten cops fifty feet in front of us. They were on the ball, they caught the guy, The cops did good on me so far. We have him on tape. Why oh why did this kid choose to break a window? my window tonight. Fate is the answer, fate it the key, It drives a crazy reality. Our reality if you live in this city, my city Edmonton. I had a guy following me with a camera, I hope we can do it again. except prepared, tonight was fucked up in my opinion. The clip is too long to download, i have to find a way to get it to you guys. This was an eventful night, CBC the police the situation the taxi. It looks strange when your sober, the reality because what happened tonight was not what I was expecting this to look like. I wounder what the CBC will make it look like. Can’t wait to see the outcome of this whole situation. It sucks he broke the window. Ass hole he is going to jail.I have to start seeing what happens to all these police files I have written up many witness statements.
My phone keeps dieing
So the CBC wired the taxi, the coolest shit. Tiny cameras, I pick up a personal fare, and a couple of people, we chatted about Edmonton and Celine Dion. Not many fares were there. I pulled up to the oil city and some dude smashed my window. There were three kids in the car, email me kids I got footage of your asses, what a crazy thing, I was so excited about this, and it ended so aaaaaa. The city is gross and it showed itself on national TV with Scott Fralick. Fate, destiny, I don’t know what to say, I called 911, I think I recorded myself talking to 911, Wow, those conversations are always frantic. It’s because there were ten cops fifty feet in front of us. They were on the ball, they caught the guy, The cops did good on me so far. We have him on tape. Why oh why did this kid choose to break a window? my window tonight. Fate is the answer, fate it the key, It drives a crazy reality. Our reality if you live in this city, my city Edmonton. I had a guy following me with a camera, I hope we can do it again. except prepared, tonight was fucked up in my opinion. The clip is too long to download, i have to find a way to get it to you guys. This was an eventful night, CBC the police the situation the taxi. It looks strange when your sober, the reality because what happened tonight was not what I was expecting this to look like. I wounder what the CBC will make it look like. Can’t wait to see the outcome of this whole situation. It sucks he broke the window. Ass hole he is going to jail.I have to start seeing what happens to all these police files I have written up many witness statements.
love
New post, One thing the dispatch, is great. Airport trips. Got two and do love the highway. This taxi gig is beyond, big. The Airport? I worked in the Edmonton International, behind security, selling toys. Educational kids toys. I was good at it, I juggled, and often taught others to do it too. Sometimes people have some time to waste while waiting to get there. I find myself, getting others on their way. I hope everyone enjoys the ride. Almost every ride is different, sometimes the person just wants peace and quite. It’s weird, I can take a hint, but usually I don’t need one. I love the job, I don’t care about the money at all, I missed driving the taxi so much while I was at school. I meet so many people even on slow nights. The key is consistency, treat everyone equally. Some people stink, some people smell good, tell em, I do. Well not the old guy who pissed on the seat, he knows and he likes it. Has anyone here ever just talked some random person out of picking up some crack, I have all the time, and I’m just starting to realize how great it is to actually have the opportunity. I also drive the pregnant chick to the liquor depot. Ha. I’ve been doing this long enough that I’ve watched 17 year old gang bangers grow up to to be 19 year old gang bangers. I’m driving this girl, who just got robbed so now she is an x crack hustler looking for a fix. She calls me too, tonight she partied with some chick with no teeth. I drooped her off at some guys house the chick with no teeth met him on the 1-800 party line does that make my fare a hooker. Is that what 1800 party means? I told her to call me if things went shifty. She called at 4:30am I was on my way to the airport. The airport fare was well worth it.
A message from the government of me
Wednesday is slooooow, but I have several new clients, they happen to be great looking girls, but hell they won’t stab me I hope. I have very little to say about the city other then it’s warm. The fuzz was out in full force, looking into everything but doing very little to prevent crime, but what do you expect from the cops? They followed me I was watching some guy throw up and I was laughing so they decided to try to bust me for speeding. I just smiled and waved. I obey the rules, they don’t keep the city safer, but tonight they sure did make if look like they were putting in some effort.
Wednesday Calgary Trail heading toward the heat
chris cornell scream
A message from the government of me
Wednesday is slooooow, but I have several new clients, they happen to be great looking girls, but hell they won’t stab me I hope. I have very little to say about the city other then it’s warm. The fuzz was out in full force, looking into everything but doing very little to prevent crime, but what do you expect from the cops? They followed me I was watching some guy throw up and I was laughing so they decided to try to bust me for speeding. I just smiled and waved. I obey the rules, they don’t keep the city safer, but tonight they sure did make if look like they were putting in some effort.
Wednesday Calgary Trail heading toward the heat
chris cornell scream
New Zealand is not a suburb of Australia is it?
Wow what a night. First of all I think I owe dispatch and apology the video I published before might have been inaccurate, (my radio might have been broken or something like that. That type of situation does happen but no one should be fired because the Radio might have been on the fritz. So tonight I drove mostly dudes, and all of them were rather great people. I on the other hand was a crazy shit talker who probably talked peoples ears off. It seemed to me that they were listening, but they might have had enough of me at a certain point but I just kept talking. Sorry to those of you who did not appreciate my opinion but tonight I felt like I had something to say. I told people the way the city really is, (at night) behind the wheel of a Cab. Now to my dispatch, wow there is a guy running the radio up there who I really like. He takes care of the biznass. I listened to him and I like him because he makes sure the people listen to what he has to say. I follow the rules so he never has anything bad to say to me. I did break a rule tonight that I’m kind of ashamed of. There was this guy who called a couple of taxis, I hate when that happens because I was the second on the scene, The first taxi guy had picked up the dude and thought he could just drive away.”No no” if there is a cab convention on my time I make sure that we settle things correctly, I called dispatch and asked what was going on. The whole time we were talking the client(asshole) was talking shit to me. He was a white racist fellow, but he was talking shit to me about how I took so long and the first black cabbie that came to pick him up took a couple of girls instead. He wanted to use derogatory terms but since the driver of the car he was in was of East Indian decent the words kept getting jumbled in his mouth. I told the other cab driver he could drive the DINK, and that was my mistake, he heard me. The word just slipped out and I feel guilty as hell for speaking to another drivers client like that, even though he wasted my time. I had no right to call the man a dink, and I feel bad about it because it just slipped out I had no control over myself. It’s a lesson I won’t forget. To all you people who listened to my rant last night “Thank You.”
For a Minute I thought the city changed
It’s getting worse, but gently now gently now………For a Minute I thought the city changed
Je parle en Francais
Ready for a midnight run? So what happened to me this evening? Well I picked up this group of well dressed finely groomed dudes from Montreal. They wanted a strip joint, so I drove them to the strippers. When we got there one of them (an Albino) wanted a street walker, I told them that on Fridays it’s hard to find working girls because Edmonton has a huge thirst for dirty elicit street sex, especially after an Oilers game. The girls disappear into all the big 4 by 4s and rig pigs cars. Theses guys weren’t rig pigs, but they wanted to get there albino friend laid. I also told them that I would drive them to the north side but there is no way that they were going to use my vehicle to solicit sex with. When they found a hooker (the first one they saw) I drooped the Albino off and he went and got the hooker to agree to have sex with him and hook his buddies up with some crack. Man I would have never guessed that these dudes smoked crack. The Hooker was rough. I looked at her and I thought wow what a life. Prostitutes are broken women, the street walkers at least. They find themselves in such a screwed up world and they fear everything. These guys were nice people, no joke they fuck hookers! The albino really liked the women and she thought that was creepy, because it was making her feel good. I dropped them off at the CI in the west end. Fuck! I watched them go into the hotel, drinking cans of Pepsi to smoke the crack out of. they each got a bag. I love Montreal. It’s what makes me Canadian.
oh + 2 Saudi Arabian ladies and their Sun
What a dead night. Nights like tonight leave me driving around asking God why? Why what? What’s the point of trying when there is not that much to try to achieve. Then I realize that its the devil I’m talking to. HAHAHA I’m not on drugs I just spent most of my night looking for a fare and found Jack shit. I drove an elderly man for free, his schizophrenic wife ditched him. He told me he did not have a mental illness but he was arrested for fighting his crazy wife on a street corner. What a hoot. My last fare was great, because I barely made enough cash to fill the tank up by that point and this guy was an out of town trip. 68$ no tip the dude woke his dad up to pay the bill with his VISA. His dad wasn’t even pissed that his fully grown son partied for the last four days and spent all his money then took a 70$ ride and got him to pay it. I wish that was my DAD. I have a decent father though. This guy told me that the roads in heaven are paved in gold, if they are it’s cause Gods wife made him do it.
Work More for less
SO tonight was a really great Wednesday. I bought the New Kings of Leon CD, it’s worth it. So because I had such a great night I want to write about an issue I have with Edmonton employers. I fill up at this gas station on the west end. The women that works there has given up twelve years of her life there. That’s her job and she loves that gas station. She works the night shift, I’ve written about her in the past. SO anyway she works the night shift alone. All by herself. It was not always like this, there is a new set of owner who say they can’t afford to pay another employee. That’s such bull shit. I made a video of some people who work the night shift and they have some things to say that might effect the way you feel about the person you buy gas from in the middle of the night. Oh and the CBC says its coming in the cab on Friday, I think.
Work More for less
SO tonight was a really great Wednesday. I bought the New Kings of Leon CD, it’s worth it. So because I had such a great night I want to write about an issue I have with Edmonton employers. I fill up at this gas station on the west end. The women that works there has given up twelve years of her life there. That’s her job and she loves that gas station. She works the night shift, I’ve written about her in the past. SO anyway she works the night shift alone. All by herself. It was not always like this, there is a new set of owner who say they can’t afford to pay another employee. That’s such bull shit. I made a video of some people who work the night shift and they have some things to say that might effect the way you feel about the person you buy gas from in the middle of the night. Oh and the CBC says its coming in the cab on Friday, I think.
I love This kind of work
Tonight I kicked a person out of my cab. I think that they were being so belligerent because I’m a white kid. The Dude I kicked out was East Indian. He was disrespecting me, by saying I was a shitty cabby and he thought the city should take my taxi away(there was more). He was an awful old man, one of those angry people I hope I never become. He was also the third or forth person I have ever kicked out of my taxi in almost three years of driving. He was close enough to his house to walk and I did not charge the asshole for the thirty dollars he already owed me. He got to me though.
I also met this bouncer that told me that the police turn a blind eye on organized criminals, maybe it’s because the EPS is on the take. Corrupt cops, mmmmmm is that possible? I won’t say what bar he worked for, or what criminal organization but they were both big ones. The boom is over. Kinda. Gas is Cheap, and people died this long weekend in car accidents. Wow was there ever a lot of accidents this weekend. I shot a video of this dude that got put out on 82 ave. Right in the middle of the street. This city is getting dirty. The economy people. Bad boys whatcha gonna do when they come for you.
Street Phite
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I love This kind of work
Tonight I kicked a person out of my cab. I think that they were being so belligerent because I’m a white kid. The Dude I kicked out was East Indian. He was disrespecting me, by saying I was a shitty cabby and he thought the city should take my taxi away(there was more). He was an awful old man, one of those angry people I hope I never become. He was also the third or forth person I have ever kicked out of my taxi in almost three years of driving. He was close enough to his house to walk and I did not charge the asshole for the thirty dollars he already owed me. He got to me though.
I also met this bouncer that told me that the police turn a blind eye on organized criminals, maybe it’s because the EPS is on the take. Corrupt cops, mmmmmm is that possible? I won’t say what bar he worked for, or what criminal organization but they were both big ones. The boom is over. Kinda. Gas is Cheap, and people died this long weekend in car accidents. Wow was there ever a lot of accidents this weekend. I shot a video of this dude that got put out on 82 ave. Right in the middle of the street. This city is getting dirty. The economy people. Bad boys whatcha gonna do when they come for you.
Street Phite
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Have a Happy and Safe long WeekEnd
Long weekends are said to be the deadliest for Road Warriors who travel on the big streets of this world. I wonder why. Tonight the city seemed so sweet. Quiet. The bars were half full. The night was slow but moving. No traffic other then the usual construction delays on 82 ave. Between Filthy McNasty’s and Calgary trail. That area is a prime pick up spot. Who did I drive? Lots of new customers and some old ones. I’m driving a Young man from Fiji, very cool. Love to see Edmonton Influence others from all over the world. I have a group of girls who are Australian, and a chick whose studying psych she’s uptight but in a good way. There was this rich St Albert kid who graduated and got one degree and is going back for another. He had to pick up his passport. “Coke Run”. Crazy. Tipped me 2ºBones. I had a great night, lots of cultural people. People from everywhere. Man I love this job. My last fare was a couple of women that I drove and wrote about in the past. The first time I picked them up I gave them the blog URL and my cell number. I never saw them again. Tonight they called me out of the blue, both of them teach a language. They’re cool, I knew it the first time I picked them up, weird and cool. I saw a car accident tonight. A deadly one. I took my last fare to see it, they wanted too and if you want I’ll take you too.
99st and Sask Drive
Have a Happy and Safe long WeekEnd
Long weekends are said to be the deadliest for Road Warriors who travel on the big streets of this world. I wonder why. Tonight the city seemed so sweet. Quiet. The bars were half full. The night was slow but moving. No traffic other then the usual construction delays on 82 ave. Between Filthy McNasty’s and Calgary trail. That area is a prime pick up spot. Who did I drive? Lots of new customers and some old ones. I’m driving a Young man from Fiji, very cool. Love to see Edmonton Influence others from all over the world. I have a group of girls who are Australian, and a chick whose studying psych she’s uptight but in a good way. There was this rich St Albert kid who graduated and got one degree and is going back for another. He had to pick up his passport. “Coke Run”. Crazy. Tipped me 2ºBones. I had a great night, lots of cultural people. People from everywhere. Man I love this job. My last fare was a couple of women that I drove and wrote about in the past. The first time I picked them up I gave them the blog URL and my cell number. I never saw them again. Tonight they called me out of the blue, both of them teach a language. They’re cool, I knew it the first time I picked them up, weird and cool. I saw a car accident tonight. A deadly one. I took my last fare to see it, they wanted too and if you want I’ll take you too.
99st and Sask Drive
Maria Its already sssso cold isn’t it?
My job is great, because I believe there is more to my life then just driving people home. Tonight was a very lucrative night, the people paid and I made sure they made it to where they had to go. I have had a problem with dispatch since I started driving with the company I drive for, you see they don’t answer calls through the radio “Sometimes”. Maybe they’re on break right? Now do you think that when a police dispatch person needs a break they just leave the radio alone, NO! Cops have a dangerous job they need back up. Cops have guns for back I don’t. I called dispatch today and no one answered. I think the company should get sued for that because dispatch is my back up and they leave for breaks all the time. Imagine if I had gotten stabbed and I was begging for help through the radio and the only thing to hear my voice is empty air. Well that’s what happens to taxi drivers all the time at least with my shitty company. The dispatch is a joke and my safety is their last concern. I made a video of me talking to no one. Check it out if you want, I chew gum like a horse Sorry. Another new thing that I have encountered lately is the 3$ sure charge past 11 pm, fuck what a joke, I don’t implement it I make great money without it, I get tipped quadruple that and if the clients know that I forgot the sure charge they pay more cause it’s bullshit. Fuck the surcharge just tip a cabby if he’s good. Check out my cheesy clip.
not Accurate
not Accurate
Maria Its already sssso cold isn’t it?
My job is great, because I believe there is more to my life then just driving people home. Tonight was a very lucrative night, the people paid and I made sure they made it to where they had to go. I have had a problem with dispatch since I started driving with the company I drive for, you see they don’t answer calls through the radio “Sometimes”. Maybe they’re on break right? Now do you think that when a police dispatch person needs a break they just leave the radio alone, NO! Cops have a dangerous job they need back up. Cops have guns for back I don’t. I called dispatch today and no one answered. I think the company should get sued for that because dispatch is my back up and they leave for breaks all the time. Imagine if I had gotten stabbed and I was begging for help through the radio and the only thing to hear my voice is empty air. Well that’s what happens to taxi drivers all the time at least with my shitty company. The dispatch is a joke and my safety is their last concern. I made a video of me talking to no one. Check it out if you want, I chew gum like a horse Sorry. Another new thing that I have encountered lately is the 3$ sure charge past 11 pm, fuck what a joke, I don’t implement it I make great money without it, I get tipped quadruple that and if the clients know that I forgot the sure charge they pay more cause it’s bullshit. Fuck the surcharge just tip a cabby if he’s good. Check out my cheesy clip.
not Accurate
not Accurate
Bill Kennedy and ten second epic
Ok so tonight was not a great night for raking in the big bucks but I did get some new clients that hopefully will pan out to be great people to work for in my Taxi future. Now the city itself is changing. There is less $$$$$ floating around to be thrown around. You can just tell. The roads are in a state of panic with all the crappy construction contractors not finished and the snow is coming. Now for the good stuff, my last fare was a dude who plays a guitar for a local band that’s going to be big. Ten Second epic. I have been a fan of the band since I first heard them. There is a few bands out there that are from E=town that are growing but most suck compared to Ten Second Epic, I like their music and I was happy to drive their guitarist for free, and he tipped me very well so thanks. I hope he calls me up for a ride so I can meet an almost famous person a little more. Hey has any one out there heard of the kings of Leon, Fuck man now that is a great band as well, They have been helping me through some shit and I dig. One more awesome thing to say about tonight. Anyone out there listen to NIN Megadeath, well I met the man behind the recording of some of their records, His name Bill Kennedy a mega music producer and a great person and loving son. He was in my taxi tonight. I hope they call me again. Any one from the new clients to the music maker call please keep my life as joyous as you already have hahahahah.
Wednesday
I drove the Taxi last night, I got ripped off by some chick that works at the safeway. This is my first rant about taxihood in a while. It was just a tester night so I’m going to have a lot to talk about soon, cause I’m driving for a living now.
leaurent.com
leaurent.com
The intro page is ok but check it out guys its great.
leave comments tell me what you think.
WORKING
So I went out last night to film, I was with this kid, he’s kinda scary and he backs me up when I’m out with the Camera. He’s an addict, pill popper. So he’s always doubtful and judgmental. So we were out on white ave and some dude saw me with a camera and a tripod. He asked “what ya doing?” I said “working”. He felt wronged with the answer and asked for more but then his buddy turned around and said “your a cab driver!” “I am” I said. “With the blog?” he asked.With the blog? That’s, right there was how I knew I’m on the right track. He knew who I was when someone asked who I was. The Camera was off. Fate. My drug addict friend was there he saw it happen, but he lives in a seedy motel and hangs out with a heavy duty mechanic that is rooming with two young teenage call girls. Aaa I know I’m on the right track. Here is a Interview I did, I have way more but this is what I’ve done so far there is more on the way. Full Service
film maker in progress
The first day of the shoot my audio took a dump. There was a story though. As I was returning from dropping someone off. A threesome, and the women were dominatrices. Well I was on my way back when I saw three kids kicking the shit out of two dudes on the side walk. Not a big deal but then they started to curb stomp one of them. I was off 118ave so I knew that I was in the hood and that these kids might actually kill the kid under the boot. I stopped and got my camera. Got out of the taxi and pointed it at them the bad guys ran. They scattered, I called 911. The whole ordeal was caught on tape. There is a clip in the footage where you can hear my voice saying I think we stopped them from stabbing the kid, then you here the cop saying They stabbed him. Fuck!
Jump For Joy Taxi Truth
I rented the taxi to make my film. Its going to be a storytelling extravagansa. As many stories of the lives of the people who deal with the Underground. i’m the main character, the driver exposer of stories. I ‘m going to give the audience a safe ride through a world filled with ….. I don’t know Lets see what the film will have to say after we shoot the streets from my perspective. I’m excited this is scarier then you would think. I got a crew, my dads on it. My heart races when I think about what its going to look like. The taxi inspieres me to write. I don’t look at the key board when I’m writing taxi talk, Fuck its great. I know what I want to shoot. I don’t know what I’m going to get But I know I want it. This is an exciting time for taxitruth
Fucking Contex
The production phase is starting,I learned to edit video. I also interviewed some people. Their stories were amazing. I feel like the project is hauling ass. There is one problem, I need to introduce my media in the right contexe. Contexe is key, I have a very up front style, I’m sure but I know Ill have enough for a full dossier on the nfb That would be the bgining of a dream coming true.
Greyhound decapitation
decapitation on a greyhound, I am going to have nightmares, ever since I saw another taxi driver get his throat slashed I understand what Most Canadians don’t. This place has just as much funk as everywhere else, hell the boom made more. Alberta is a breading ground for the devil. Except us Canadians swim in Ignorance. I would love to have the bus drivers of that bus be in my Film. Sounds Fucked I know but what happened on that bus was aaaaaaa, Scary! I wonder if the guy was psychotic, on drugs, maybe both. I wonder if this was the way he wanted to become famous. Did he get on the bus and know he was going to kill someone? DId he get all angry during the ride? WHat made him snap? That’s what I want to understand cause working as a cabby in Edmonton I know I saw him delivering those papers at night. He was a paper boy, but he went mmmmmmm postal or what would you call that? Way beyond postal. He used sisors. FUck THat story is a prime example of the direction or society is going. Don’t understand me, well read “learn to swim”
I hate begging
Today I approached an old fare, well she is a young girl but someone I used to drive around in the taxi. I remembered that she had a very urban underground story. She works in a mall. In a clothing store and a few months back she was assaulted at work. She was beaten with a hockey stick by a crazed meth head, who was actually gunning to get her pregnant co-worker. This little tiny hero of a girl stepped in between them and saved the women and her unborn child. I remember when she got in my car, she had a broken wrist with a cast on it and her back was all bruised up. This is a girl that weighs no more then 120 pounds. The meth head was out to get Satan’s spawn. Fucking dirty meth heads. Well this guy is out of jail and he has already been caught trying to get back in the mall. I hope this young women agrees to work with me on telling her story to the masses. I feel that this project is so important and that the stories of the people who are affected by the shit of the world at work have a great perspective that should be told.
Not a GURU RU (hope I don’t have to vent like this everyday)
Today was another shining example of how not to learn web design and how to be a blocker
Man I wish I had better things to say. The time for the naked truth comes when you feel like that fifteen grand you spent was on something substandard. IF I wanted that I would go see a movie, except that’s like 10 bucks.
black light, ur ru guru I am
“Interesting post. I think I understand now why you struggle with how people react to you. The challenge you face is that while you may be able to see or expose those aspects of others that they may wish to keep hidden, you aren’t necessarily bringing the empathetic compassion that puts you in their shoes. People hide things about themselves for a plethora of reasons. Sometimes they aren’t ready to take the mask off yet. Now you suggest that you can see right through that mask can be a very threatening thing. How can you build trust and compassion if people are threatened by you. “It’s their problem,” is a cop-out. Your job as a writer of people’s stories is to see through the veneer in a non-threatening way.”
BY Owen
there is other ways,
owen-this-is-my-creativity.
a new and promising relationship
I am now working on creating this film with others. people more experienced then me. I am happy and proud to present to you
this is a gentlemen with whom I am going to be working with
watch and tell me what you guys and girls think
blogger did not add the link so here is the URL
insert it manually damn it!
www.vimeo.com/712466
www.vimeo.com/user487804/videos
Just a little something something
Taxi talk introduces us to himself in his taxi and tells us the story of his beginnings and why he is creating the film. Then he begins to approach others that work in dangerous fields. Throughout the film specific camera angles will be used to represent the streets, the people the outcomes of the events. These angles will create a look and feel that corresponds to the way society actually feels about the characters and where they are going. Each interview will be a mini film in which the audience gets told the answers to a series of questions. The questions will take the worker through the scenario he or she wants to tell us about and then goes deeper and asks what we can do to change what is happening to our society and culture for the better. These people hold a key to dealing with the presence of a demon at night. A monster that most of us close are eyes to, these working people understand the situation far more accurately then a person who has never been exposed to it. These are the people whose stories need to be heard to open the hearts and minds of those not directly exposed to the Underground but none the less are affected by the consequences of the Urban Undergrounds actions.
Brad Grier was the man, and deserves more …
Is the Man. Totally a person that would be happy to know as an individual. I dude who works for a cooperation but thinks about the people. That’s someone I would like to be in charge of a product I am creating. Heart. Most definitely. I am not sure if my proposal was what he wanted because of the big brother aspect. From a corporate stand point I think I was a great Idea. But we all know big brother is watching everything we do. Genius I might not be in all aspects but the concept I thought of is going to find itself into main stream. Thank god for Canadians like Brad. What did I learn? That I need to sharpen my ax. I’m a Genius but I’m dull dull as F#$k that suck, Owen you can tell when you teach that you know what your talking bout, Brad was the same way he understood what he was telling us. RFP what a great way to hire people. The Mid term evaluation was awesome, I needed it a long time ago. My marks are low and I am hoping to bring them up but J query no Idea. Java script is going over my head, I need held using it. Next week is a new style of learning for me, I am going to start producing web sites in a style of my own. Man J Query hunnnnn I don’t know, Its not panic its mmmmmmmmm its that I just don’t get it. Maybe soon, I am going to put in all the effort, This is a my sons second birthday July 12th so we are going to a lake a cabin an outhouse, no computer. I can’t study up on the J query so that makes me nervous but I do want to learn it so I downloaded a podcast, actually in all subjects, abode to j Query to Premier, loving is what I got, Peace my audience.
href="http://citizen.nfb.ca/node/21736&dossier_nid=20849
http://citizen.nfb.ca/node/21736&dossier_nid=20849->
click on the link
This is the link I think
fascination with the new me
Whooha what a ride. Guru is kicking my ass, moving me to where I want to go. You know sometimes life throws ya curves and then you have to go to school. That’s when you add that curve to the stroke of the brush and your images seem to grow more powerful. Thank God for artistic progression and focus. The weird thing about thinking that I’m an artist is that I have known it my whole life but was just letting it incubate. Now I get to share it with the my neighbour from almost 20 years ago. I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Man the big guy upstairs sure can run miles around me  with the whole programing fate thing. Soon my fate will come, just remember all those virtues. Patients first then, who care lets make art! fascinationÂ
Canaday Day
I spent the whole day with my perfect little son. Now it’s night time and I am on my way out to capture the essence of Edmonton celebrating the Birth of the nation. I hope to capture some brutal stuff. This is all for my new project. A film about how people can change the society around if they only try. Can’t wait to show you.
New comers read the older post, I was the youngest taxi driver in Edmonton, this is a sh$#! hole of a city!
I’m creating a concept for the Future here, so if you guys and gals got some stories or know people who do, bring it on.
On the Job/Urban Underground
“Urban Underground/On the Job”opens the door for people who have been exposed to the urban underground at work. Fire fighters, police, taxi drivers, bouncers, bartenders, security guards, custodians, bus drivers even snow removal people, can share their stories about how they are affected at work by the “underground.”
As a taxi driver, I was on the job when I was exposed to a world I never knew about. I used my blog, myfares.blogspot.com, to express the experiences I could not escape.
“Urban Underground/On the Job” goes deeper as well, diving into other urban underground issues such as gangs, prostitution, drugs, and homelessness from the perspective of the people who work with them. Hear, see, and experience the stories of innocent people, the average Joe, working and dealing with an anti-society society. All of these are aspects of this multi-faceted concept. On the Job deals with the “in-your-face” issues of today.
Anyone who has a story that they can contribute is more then welcome to email me or leave a comment. Thanks
New comers read the older post, I was the youngest taxi driver in edmonton, this is a shit hole of a city
http://citizen.nfb.ca/urban-undergroundon-job
That is the address I am trying to get the NFB to allow me to use for my platform. Anyone who likes my Idea should go to the NFB website and tell them to create the dossier on the double.
Co-op is a …….
I was stranded at 107 ave and 107 st “the Husky” bad place. My cars battery died, A co-op cabby wanted to charge me 25$ for a boost but a yellow taxi guy did it for free, I gave him the 5 bucks I had. That man was a good man. It is now the law to have a cage in your taxi.
Double double
Tim Hortons catchier.
Tim would be rolling around in his grave. May Ling is an Asian employee. Tim Hortons hires international workers to staff this particular location due to it’s unbelievable busyness. The line at this location never ends, not until an employee stops customers from lining up. It’s gross to see all the sheep lining up all day. Tim Horton is flipping in his grave. She is glade to be working in this Tim Hortons sweat shop because it is fare better then the sweat shop she would be working in Thailand. In her native land she would have to service hundreds of western men a day. So her work may be never ending but she does not long for a break, hell no, she works. The quality of her life is high here in Canada. Even though most Canadians would never know it. She thinks Canadians are Ignorant because they have so much and know so little about other nations. She has a dream though, to marry a western man who owns a car. She dreams about how he would pick her up. She does her dreaming at the bus stop as she waits for the 9 to take her to Kingsway where she’ll have to transfer to the next bus and go to the deep North end. The Ride home is an hour and a half the same as the ride to work. She commutes three hours a day and works ten hour shifts. That western man sure would come in handy, but whenever she meets someone she finds that they all treat her like those western men back in Thailand. Still she does not complain, because if she gets upset all she has to do is remember what she did before moving to this ignorant nation, it was worse. Her mother sold her for a fridge at the tender age of five. She worked in the servicing industry for many years. Sometimes while servicing business guys downtown she recognizes some of the men. The rich business guy in fancy suits she See’s them in her past. How they were tourist in Thailand and how they all left their ignorant wives back here in Canada so they could have their way with innocent Thia girls. She can see those men and still she Say’s nothing in fear that they will force her back into the darkness, far far from the simple and warm double double.
Owen This is my creativity
My inner soul. What can I say? My inner soul is a light that shines inward into others people hearts. It’s a an ultraviolet light. Extreme end of the spectrum. My soul exposes flaws that are meant to go unseen. Messages that were meant to only be viewed by the special. My soul is a portable beam that allows those few special bits of reality that usually go unseen to be exposed and presented in their own way, whether it be pleasant or not. The truth is a concept, theoretically a great vision that wishes to be achieved, but with it comes a beauty in a dark place. An equalizer that needs not be seen by innocent eyes. No “I” stays innocent. So learning to expose that side of life to others who don’t understand that end of the spectrum of society is a challenge I am trying to solve.
I am also working on creating a proposal for the short documentary film. I have a concept. Me telling stories to the audience. An audience, there is so many stories. My problem is there connection to each other. It’s about what driving the taxi has taught me. mmmmm so much. Creativity this is where you can come in handy. My inner soul is the director of this project. I starter to drive the taxi because I was following the v0ice inside my head. Every fare I picked up was my destiny. Every time someone entered my vehicle was because I felt it was meant to be. That my fares soul and mine were meant to be in close proximity for a short ride. I used that time to feed my appetite for truth. During a ride in a taxi at night the average fare was inebriated, drunk, messed up and that left them in a vulnerable place. I always tried to be a good cabby. I never took advantage of someone who was too messed up. But a story was a story and getting the others to open up about their personal lives was the ultimate part of the job. I wish I was still driving sometime. But them I remember the fear some nights and I think” fuck that shit”.
I also did some graphic work for the company my old lady works for and I might make some money. and I might get a client and thats cool. I gosta get on understanding the PDF better.
taxitruth@gmail.com
So I was asked to draw up a proposal for a film about my taxihood. A real production company is looking into it. Scary cool. Its a project. A documentary about my stories. I can’t involve corporations into my concept. Because I hate the “man” and they would probably sue me. So if anyone out there wants to help me breath new life into this trip through a world filled with sex drugs and rock and roll then please do. I wouldn’t mind internationals to express their views about how I portrayed my City, my province country and Continent. And any local readers Get in touch with me my e-mail internationals too are welcome to e-mail me at taxitruth@gmail.com.
taxitruth@gmail.com
So I was asked to draw up a proposal for a film about my taxihood. A real production company is looking into it. Scary cool. Its a project. A documentary about my stories. I can’t involve corporations into my concept. Because I hate the “man” and they would probably sue me. So if anyone out there wants to help me breath new life into this trip through a world filled with sex drugs and rock and roll then please do. I wouldn’t mind internationals to express their views about how I portrayed my City, my province country and Continent. And any local readers Get in touch with me my e-mail internationals too are welcome to e-mail me at taxitruth@gmail.com.
A winter Bar rush
They jumped out onto the street to get me, I was a rock star at the end of many nights here in Edmonton
A winter Bar rush
They jumped out onto the street to get me, I was a rock star at the end of many nights here in Edmonton
Phot0 order for Dale
1.NUMBERS
2.SYMMETRY
3.MONUMENT
4.COMMUNICATION
5. SIGNAGE
6.MONEY
7.EMPTY
8.AUTHORITY
9.Little THINGS
10.Another Empty
11.COLORS
The skate pics are my ISO examples.
ISO the higher the ISO the more sensitive the sensor or film is to light. The lower the ISO the longer it takes to expose the Pic. High ISO produces a grainier image. The lower the ISO the fuller the image. Noise looks like a texture to me.
The pictures of the skate board are the examples of ISO used with a different aperture.
Creativity is awesome
Let’s talk creativity. Today was all about the good stuff. We passed our judgments about the other teachers to the new director of the school. Mr. Owen. Owen I dig it, you’ve treated me fairly even though I have many quirks. The class was productive today, we made headway not only with what you need to know but also with sharing our work. I like looking and critiquing our work together. That’s just me. I did not have a piece of my project today and the teacher let me cruise home to get it, Thank God for great educators. Now me in general. well my home life sucks, my old lady is on the verge of leaving me, my kitchen is a crazy almost renovated mess and my son is just getting over having some crazy mystery rash all over his body. I’m so stressed out I hurt inside. It’s sad how hard I tried to prepare myself for the program only to have everything that I tried to prepare fall and smash. My plans are screwed, my life is in shambles but I must continue through this at least at school. Home is a different story.
I have been getting along with the kids, I’m trying and I hope I can find a balance between my ego and the others. I have no enemies here other then myself sometimes.
No tapes
I can’t get a hold of the Road trip video, the dude with the tapes is an asshole. I’m trying.
No tapes
I can’t get a hold of the Road trip video, the dude with the tapes is an asshole. I’m trying.
This guy told me he cut himself with grandmas mirror at 4:30 am renovating
Man this was a strange job. The dude almost rejected me when I asked if I could take a pic of the wound.
This guy told me he cut himself with grandmas mirror at 4:30 am renovating
Man this was a strange job. The dude almost rejected me when I asked if I could take a pic of the wound.
I did not win Edmontons best driver, A bus driver did
But I am truly happy to have been nominated, it was an honor. THank you
Ok so I give up, but only on others not me
Today we talked more or less about how I felt. There was a long discussion and we got no where. All I can say is that it looks like I made an enemy. I care, I do but now that how I feel is out in the open the attitude can be pointed out. The class is not going to work together on any extra curricular activities, I tried to assemble a group and no one wanted to even consider it. It was suggested to me to look for people to work with outside of the school. I will. I can’t wait. I almost felt bad about being part of such an incident today at school, but if I said nothing I would be walking around Guru for six months while some of the others walked all over me without even knowing. I don’t believe that they said that the attitude was not meant to be derogatory. I have to be more independent even thought there is more to gain if we work with each other. I don’t want to hinder the education of others so to avoid any more conflict I’m backing off, but if the ass monster shows it’s self in others I might just have to tip my hat and move on. Working with your peers is over rated it better to close your mind and …………… Owen I hope I did not ruin the class today the topic will not come up any more. I am too high strung maybe and I am going to chill out, I feel better that I shared with the whole class my opinion and at least they know.
A night driver got stabbed twice in Millwoods.
Fuck the money runs out and the heat turns on.
I say you don’t need a cage you need a………there was a big cab driver protest.
Fuck I miss it, but I’m happy I got out when I did.
Man that type of intensity on the job is found in few other fields.
I can find that kind of intensity on the drive to school
or is it the drive home?
Rush hour,
work!
Why is the world set up this way? 9 to 5
I might get a tan and I like the sun.
Drinking coffee in the morning is cool too, hurts my stomach but it’s like getting high
A night driver got stabbed twice in Millwoods.
Fuck the money runs out and the heat turns on.
I say you don’t need a cage you need a………there was a big cab driver protest.
Fuck I miss it, but I’m happy I got out when I did.
Man that type of intensity on the job is found in few other fields.
I can find that kind of intensity on the drive to school
or is it the drive home?
Rush hour,
work!
Why is the world set up this way? 9 to 5
I might get a tan and I like the sun.
Drinking coffee in the morning is cool too, hurts my stomach but it’s like getting high
Imagine everyone in their underwear
I am a constant nag. Man I need to get over myself. I love this Graphic stuff I just don’t understand it. I’m also not used to being locked up in a room with four people for so long, and it’s just started. Jared is leaving tomorrow. It sucks. I got a check today and the second worst mark in class, I’m joking the worst. HTML is my downfall. That’s cool. Ill figure it out and do it.
Creativity (reflection)
Today was another good day. We spent the morning talking about how to think on the spot, without stopping the creative process. We did the improvisation and we used different types of methods to keep us on our toes. This is my first time learning about how I should behave to continue the creative processes. We had a brainstorming session today about a five alive ad. I felt ignored a lot. I am a load mouth but I do respect everyone and more and more I have been feeling a little bit ignored by some of the others. They would never say that they treat me different but I feel that way (what can I do). I have been keeping my ego in check. The others attitude with me will create a problem if it persists. I’m sure no one expects a conflict, but I’m sure no one else feels the way I do. Condescending, I’m not the same type of artist as the others so I just feel looked down on a lot of the time. Who cares? I’ll keep my ego in check and nature should do the rest. I can feel how all sorts of ignorance can create an issue in an artistic environment. I did not bring this up in class and I won’t, felling get hurt . I won’t go against my beliefs to side with a crappy idea. If was just a brainstorming session. I’m glade we have a class like this because it also exposes us to each other and because it’s actually a physical type of environment we can see through the perspective of our peers. Now for your viewing pleasure……….
my baby is using the potty
My HTML is awful I think I need more help or a new brain. I am going to be an excellent designer in the next five months, God help me.
Aperture- it’s what happens when you squint your eyes
These images were used to view change in aperture size
Aperture- is the hole in the back of the lens that allows light in. The size of this hole determines depth of field and duration of exposure. The larger the aperture the faster the exposure. The 1.4mm lens is a large aperture lens. It takes pictures quickly because it allows a lot more light to hit the sensor. I believe the Canon rebel has a 50mm sensor. Allowing you to take pictures in low light. The aperture also determines the depth of field. The pictures show that by decreasing the size of the aperture increases the depth of field but increases the amount of time it takes to expose the film. I also did some light graffiti using the 1.4mm lens, it was awesome the light source for the graffiti was our cell phones and because of the size of the aperture took in the light very cleanly. I tried to do the same trick with my standard lens and the lines were thin (not as visible). It would require a more powerful light source to produce the same effect. The 1.4 aperture also took awesome water shots. The 1.4mm lens is a speedy lens that everyone should own. It takes great pictures. I’ve seen how it reduces light flares. It allows you to take good portraits and indoor shots even in low light situations. The 1.4 is a very sharp lens. This is a professional style of lens. The Ped way image is a great example of of a blurred image that represents movement.
about my buddy.
The Friend I was with was my best friend in the world. We were best friends for a long time, our friendship started in high school and lasted long after the drug use. This trip caused a strain. I changed into a bad drug addict and he had started to want to mature. I had a death wish and he wanted to start a company. I had no attachment to money he was a Scrooge. I asked him for the video footage yesterday, the footage he took of me in the states. He said ” no problem” I was surprised, I haven’t talked to him in a long time. I’ve written about him throughout the blog.
Just a Summary of the First couple of day’s
The first night we stayed in Daytona, no somewhere else, we camped outside the first night no no I can’t remember. I was done, I had driven through most of the southern USA from Wisconsin Green Bay. I drove through Chicago late, then through Milwaukee , if you can’t tell I must have been out of my mind if I hit Chicago first, from Green Bay. All the way through Illinois, I think I remember driving through Campaign and Indianapolis. Then Louisville Kentucky. Then definitely by the next day mid afternoon I made it to Nashville Tennessee. I remember Nashville cause I wanted to be a rock star and that’s a place to start, but I kept driving. All the way through Huntsville Alabama and of course the capital Birmingham. There was no rest for me, I drove to the Little town of Heartsell Alabama on my first night+day. At least 2-3 thousand km. The next day me and my friend drove to Mobile, he ate I got fucked up and we drove to Panama City. I remember Jacksonville somewhere in the mix, and Daytona Beach. Soon I’ll show you guys a video of me. I am psychotic in it, but you’ll know I’m not lying. Soon.
Look! a GURU
That’s right it’s evolving. I am Growing as a designer. I can’t wait to have actually produced a project. Megans Idea rocked. I was jealous but now I’m o.k. I drank a lot of coffee, it’s like booze. I also saw Wyn a professor who has been ill for the last few days. I really need to stay focused. Having a family and trying to start a new career is tough. I’m not gonna give up I plane on introducing you guys to an incredible conceptual designer by the end of my time here at GURU.
Not that scary
That’s right kids I’m video blogging, nothing crazy to say. My aperture assignment is due soon, I would like to publish it on the blog. I’ll ask. Life is great. Guru is awesome. I’m learning so many different things. I am now beginning to focus on my work. I knew what it was but not exactly all at once. Someone comment on the video blog. I wonder if my you tube site has a link to this site. Gotta get on that. I’ll have images in soon. Bye.
Just the Four of Us
Finally focused on producing a video blog on youtube. www.youtube.com/bloggingtoday that’s me. These are the steps I’ve taken toward building a powerful portfolio. My inexperience with some of the illustrative programs is showing, I’m still not fully devoted to anything specific (artistically) other then writing and blogging in general. I miss all the mindless communication forced upon me by the taxi. My new identity is lacking. I’ll survive and I’ll be all that I can be but I would like to have a more open learning environment, my classmates are pretty into themselves and I think that’s cool but a little communication never hurt. I know they think I’m a dumb ass and in many ways I am but still No talking. There is only the four of us.
Brainwashed by a State trooper
I got pulled over in Alabama by some small town cops. They said I made a funny turn. That was true, I’d never been in tiny town Alabama. My car was filled with an electric bass, an electric guitar, an acoustic guitar and a bunch of psychotically packed artwork and crazy shit, plus a couple of buckets of prescription drugs. They sent the dog in, unlawfully I believe. They found green dust in the glove compartment, I was accused of transporting weed, marijuana. That was bullshit, You don’t travel with weed in the states, you can go to jail for like five years in almost every state. Fuck illegal drugs when your in a car in America, the two don’t mix but prescription drugs have your name on them and that’s legit. 545 pills, I had already eaten like three weeks of the shit, I was like two days into a the ultimate road trip. The cop was standing in front of me with  the tip of his finger covered in a green dust.”It’s not weed, I don’t smoke weed in the car and I don’t travel with pot I know how much trouble I can get in” I was fucked I hadn’t slept since the day I handed in my psych final.” We can take you to jail” one of the cops kept telling me. I wasn’t scared. That wasn’t weed and he knew it. He found my stash of pills. One of them. Put them back and they let me go. I was traveling in good hands. I was going to start living in love, that’s what I called it. I was starting to read peoples licence plates. They kinda talked to me. My buddy the Canadian kid visiting his mom and her boy friend and I talked about where we were gonna go. I wanted to go to New York. He wanted to go Florida. I had 20$ budget for gas every day my buddy had a fat account, I was a dumb ass I missed out on New York I drove to Florida with a couple of jars full of living deadness and a kid who got brainwashed into believing that the black people in New Orleans would rob us.
Design-typography.
So for the design class we were assigned a drawing project. We are suppose to be using shapes, lines and dots to create an image with depth. We are also being given a chance to develop a new Miss Rodeo Canada logo. A cowboy hat a horse and some breasts. No well maybe some long flowing locks. Can’t wait till I actually get my design mojo into gear. I’m still slacking in my portfolio. We also talked about old school printing. Educational.
Creativity 101
Creativity class is awesome. Today we were introduced to the world of improvisation. We also touched on the importance of honesty in our fields, whatever they may be. There were several different projects. First there was the “one word story” and then “morph that motion” and then “yes lets.” These were all good way for us to become more capable of creating an idea using cooperation. The creative proses is like an explosion and if you are not able to control it it dissipates, but if you can control it it can act like a rocket and move you and your Ideas to the moon. The last project was an elevator pitch. We were given a few minutes to produce a pitch about an object, we were given the possibility to have the object be whatever we wanted. I made mine a dementionizer. It was a product that sent slow moving people into another dimension. My presentation of it was awful, I was nervous and my pitch was written badly so the presentation suffered. I would like to present better, and to do that I need to focus on a neat form of writing my presentation. Owen (our teacher) offered a point form presentation. I am going to try that next time. I am also going to focus on creating a video blog to fill in for the written blog my goal this week is to produce this blog and start publishing it soon.
Phot o styles
Tonight was sweet my father a professional photographer came over to my house and showed me the ropes on aperture. It was awesome he even showed me some lenses. Miyama camera, medium format camera. Hard core! My portfolio needs to be created the tools are not enough I need Inspiration I need my own creation. The city the sky and love, tiny project. The city is in the skyline. Fuck I need to document something. Progression. What? I need to venture out. There is so much to see that’s nice. The story. Objective of the project Find story that you can relate to, something the symbolizes your life. The write it yourself. Draw the characters using the new graphic tools and find out how to get them on to this blog spot bull shit. Oh and remember Canada needs to understand that the American women is here and here to stay.
Guru the Blog
This is my first entry. I am a student of digital media production. For the last two weeks I have been learning to produce art work using different digital mediums. Adobe Illustrator, Acrobat and Photoshop are just a few for the programs I have been introduced to. Smultron is also a program I’ve been show and I am continuing to use it to produce HTML web sites. We are also learning the fundamentals of design, the teacher is a genius. Guru has been great so far.
Taxi talk! hey taxi talk!
107ave and 114st somewhere next to a 711 I run into a guy at a red light. It’s 4:00 on a Friday night. It was a busy summer night, mid July maybe. Hot! The dude spots me from the crosswalk, runs at me and slams 100$ on the hood. He’s ugly, big and sweaty. He gets in and says “my wife’s having a baby and I can’t get any one to break my bill so I can’t make a phone call because I have no change will you takes us?” I had the 100$ in my hand. This was gonna be awesome. We drove up to a shady looking apartment building, he took off upstairs to get his wife. It was a real 100$ bill. Then relatively quickly he came back with a women in hardcore labor she was holding a towel, she used it to make sure she did not leave a mess. She didn’t. On the way the Husband sat in the front seat. He was drunk from a night of drinking, strangely enough it was his (Micheals) birthday too. He was having a son. Contraction! 107 ave and 114 st are close to the Royal Alex I thought maybe that was their Hospital? No turns out the young couple originally from Newfoundland had just moved to their new address, hence no phone either. Another contraction, we were on our way to the Grey Nuns Hospital in Mill woods. At least 15-20 minutes away. I moved quickly, and they made it. I got a 20$ tip. I thought that guy was lucky to get a cab but it was me who was lucky, it was a honestly exhilarating moment.
one of many more
Summer of 2005, I handed my social psychology final in a day late. I had been eating so much Dexedrine that I didn’t even know the date. I was going to UWGB, University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. I was an international student. Except I was a resident of the USA, because my mom was working in a hospital. I traveled the world with my mother. She worked in a hospital and that meant I had excellent American health care. I used it as soon as I could. I got myself a psychiatrist and asked for a speed addiction and as fast as I could say amphetamine I had a nice size prescription for the meds. You see in America if you have the money you got the power. My doctor charged something like 300$ a visit, my health care plane was awesome, but a doctor getting paid that well remembers to keep his patients sick. I wanted ADHD because I wanted a drug and he gave it to me. Funny because Canadian doctors always said I showed more symptoms of a Bi polar disorder. They also made sure I was medicated well but bi polar meds make you fat and kind of boring, I liked to be skinny and fun. So I’m in the USA and the semester is over all my International friends (mostly a Latino bunch) were all on their way back home. I was living with my mom in Green Bay. I had some weed dealer friends out there but I also had a Canadian friend who was visiting his mom in Alabama. So I packed up my car and said goodbye to my mom (who was starting to think I was never gonna come back because I only slept like two nights the entire semester and I was in a sever drug induces psychosis) and I popped some more pills and started to make my way to the small town of Heart Sell Alabama. The journey started at like 10pm and I drove the whole night and most of the next day. Alabama lies on the golf of Mexico, Wisconsin boarders lake superior it was a long drive. Most people would have taken at least two days, not me I ate like 150 mg of a triplicate narcotic and made it there in like 20 hours. When I pulled up to my friends house I was a mess. Fucked up from the road and messed up on the drugs. So as I pull up to his mothers boyfriends house I see a cop car, that’s how I knew I was at the right place. My friends mother was dating an Alabama state trooper. I was greeted by my friend and a Cop. I was done I hadn’t slept in a long time not that that mattered I was sporting an 80mg Dex prescription. 80mg is 8 ten milligram long lasting orange and black capsules. A prescription that size was illegal in Canada. I had a two month supply, over 500 pills. Dexedrine was the same Drug that Elvis and Johnny Cash ate, watch the movie “Walk the line” I was on the same drug. Except my doctor was so good that I never had to cross over to Mexico to get high (like Johnny). So I’m standing there in Alabama listening to my friend talk about how this boyfriend cop guy has let him shoot all these guns. I’m talking bazookas and hand guns and and rifles all that shit. All I wanted to do is play the guitar. The Cop was a very racist man. He also belonged to the army and he liked killing niggers (his term not mine) he was an awful man and even though I was sketched out on drugs I knew this guy was going to hell. He was also excited to go back to Iraq because he was blood thirsty. He scared me but not my friend my friend loved him. My friends mother loved him too, she liked closed minded bigot men, my friend was raised that way (racist), but he had a Canon GL1 at that time a top of the line digital video camera and I wanted him to shoot some footage of me traveling across the continent with over 500 pills of speed. I was ready to die and I wanted to go out with a real BAM. Remember I was diagnosed with the Bi polar.
taxi talk is dead
This is my first entry as a civilian. Noelia I love you. So what can I say. I’m going to a private vocational school, I’m one in four students. None of my peers understands the magnitude of my blog. I am feeling empty without it. Last night my Internet was down so no new entry. Tonight I’m writing my first drunk entry. I took a cab tonight, I got loaded at a girls house she was one of my clients in the past and she invited me to her birthday party. It was great. I felt right at home with all her friends. I drove them all home once upon a time. I took a taxi home and on my way I took a girl home, she used to call me all the time (one of my best clients) she was with me tonight. She was so loaded that she could not get out of the taxi at her own address. She was just so screwed up. She is a manager at a high class restaurant here in town (like 100$ a person) she was one of my favorites. I took her home and she got in her house. The birthday girl was also awesome. She has commented on this blog. So recently I’ve started school. I’m learning graphic design and web development. Loving it. Small class room. I got so drunk tonight I left my car at the birthday girls house. Sssssso what I wanted to do is start writing my bio on this blog. Like what happened to me before I was a cabby. ( I did prescription drugs and I went to university in Wisconsin Green Bay.) I’ve also lived in Saudi Arabia and Poland and New Mexico. Most of my life has been spent in a place I was not from and that’s why I am so weird and individualized. I’m still called taxi talk because I loved being a cabby so much (and I was the best) but tonight I am drunk so come back soon. I’ll write about my massive American amphetamine prescription that I got in Wisconsin and I got committed for it in Canada. Yeah I was a junkie but a cool one that crossed the continent in a car like in fear and loathing but all by himself cause not many people have the balls to see the world through eyes like mine. I’m short to all those who have checked out the pics, but I ain’t scared of shit. So leave me a comment that tells me if you guys want to know about digital art school or my crazy international past. Speak up you guys that read but don’t comment cause I can see you. I’ll make sure the next entry makes me look like a rotten whore so come check me out. Peace from a drunk fuck just trying to make friends with no money peace.
Check out the->link and tell me what you think!->
I no longer drive a cab. Some of you might have guessed by now that I’m finished. I went out tonight as a civilian. I went to new city Suburbs but I was so obviously out of place there that I went upstairs to the liQUid Lounge. I drank a coke and drove myself home. The ride was the most pleasant thing about the outing. I’m addicted to driving the Taxi, I already feel kind of empty without it. I have lots of old stories I can tell, not just cab ones though, I might have to change the name of the Blog. I’ll be blogging people I’m going to a digital media production school, I’m gonna start some sort of fantastic franchise that will help the world keep spinning the way it does. Excited! Me too. Please fell free to leave a comment throwing around some Ideas about what I should do with the Blog. I do have more taxi stories I can tell, like the first women in labour, or the first real live hooker, or the “Follow that car” I got tons of taxi talk but like so many times before this I’m moving on. So come back people cause I love blogging and my world is huge I got lots to say and cab stories were kind of restricting, well you’ll see. I love my cab stories, without them I would feel……………………..
I let him get away
There was this one time in Banff that a RCMP officer called me asking if he could speak to me in regards to my name coming up as an alibi, I said sure. I had been working with Banff Taxi for a little while, like three months but I already had a great reputation. So the RCMP officer comes over to the house that I lived in Banff 329 muskrat Rd. He parked outside and asked me to come down into the cruiser for the questioning. He asked if I had worked a specific Saturday, I told him “no that’s not my shift, I work the mon-friday graveyard.” I asked who he was looking for, he said a rapist. I remembered hearing the story, Banff is a small town if anything crazy happens people hear about it. The girl was brutally raped inside her own house by a vicious animal. The only suspect in the case used me as an alibi and then fled. His name was Mat Gar%^. I remember the first time I drove him, it was to the Hostel. He was drunk and arrogant, no money either. He started working at a restaurant where a friend of mine worked, my friend used to special order me every night for a ride home. One night his co worker jumped in too. I remembered him he did not remember me. I got to talking to him that night he jumped in with my buddy. The kid told me he grew up in St Albert, I grew up in St. Albert. He knew many of the people I attended elementary school with. I forgot about my first encounter with him and ended up driving him many more times, he was a coke head and he was always accompanied by a lady. He lied to the RCMP about getting a ride with me on that Saturday night. In Banff the Taxi was a shift work job, 50 hours a week, Saturday was a big money night and I was still a Rookie hence no Saturdays. I couldn’t help the cop with his suspects whereabouts so he left. A few months later my girl friend got pregnant and I moved to Edmonton. I started to drive a Taxi here in the city. Something all the cabbies in Banff were scared to try. I remember about two months into it, I was going back to the West end to park my taxi when at 107 ave and like 113st I saw a flag. I had just started driving Edmonton streets and I knew about 107 ave but I took a risk and pulled over. The couple got in, a John and his whore. Except the John was the rapist kid from Banff. I got scared and just sat there looking at him. It was him, he shaved his head and lost weight but it was him. “Do I know you?” he asked. “You’re in big trouble dude” I said to him. He realized who I was. The whore started telling me where to go. She probably knew that she was siting in a car with a rapist fuck but she probably just didn’t care. I started to move forward not sure what to do. The hooker who was beyond cracked out started screaming that I was going the wrong way, then I told her that I hadn’t turned on the meter yet, and I told her the guy she is with was bad fucking news. She told me to stop the car. They both got out. I never told the cops I saw him, I lost the RCMP officers number, I regret it every day. That guy was a monster in sheep clothing.
My First Shift (totally Alberta)
I started to drive a taxi in 2005. My first shift was unbelievable, here you go. So I was the grave yard driver in the resort town of Banff. It’s a great little city that’s filled with transients and Asian tourists. The largest fare you can have in Banff was approximately 8.40$. There was lots of business there though and the company I worked for racked in a killing ever evening. We worked under a different system in Banff, we were dispatched directly over the CB radio. This made for a totally different style of taxi driving. I felt safer in Banff because we always had direct contact with the dispatcher and all the other taxis could heard your voice when you had to ask a question. So on my first night I was sent to the Best Western, I picked up a gritty looking son of a bitch there. He gets in, it’s like 1am and as I ask him where we’re going nervously,(it was my first night) he pointed out his 100 000$ speed boat. He was a rich oil rigger foremen visiting Banff from Fort Mac. Can you guys guess what he asked me to do for him.?Fort Mac people. That’s right! He showed me a huge sum of cash and asked me to find him a hooker and some blow. There is no street walking in Banff, it’s a prestigious national park in the Rockies if you want a whore up there you gotta order out (from a different city). He insisted we drive around forever looking for this street walker, I did stop at a club so he could purchase the cocaine. He came back holding a bag filled with white powder. He asked if he could snort some, I told him to keep whatever he was doing to himself. It was my first night I had a rig pig in the back snorting blow while I was circling the tiny community of Banff looking for a hooker that I knew did not exist. The radio was going crazy, dispatch wanted to know what I was doing. I told them I was just cruising talking with my fare, which was true, the rigger told me he had a wife and he cheated on her all the time. Men with money cheat lots, that’s one thing I learned driving Taxi but women never notice as long as their wearing an expensive wedding ring. Nevermind. I never did find that guy a Hooker but he did snort a massive amount of coke in the back seat. He must have had a lot cause after he left there was at least 3 grams spilled all over the back seat, I hate coke and didn’t mind blowing it outside the car. The Rig Pig worked up a 150$ fare in the tiny town of Banff with me on my first night ever driving a taxi, he paid me the 150$ and and tipped me another 150$ I looked at my earnings and knew what I was going to be doing for the next little while.
ChromeDome
Tonight was like out of a story book, so simple so soft. No problems. Life was good to me. It snowed a foot last night, so tonight the roads were awkward. There is this documentary called “The Good the Bad and the Ugly” it’s about driving and the psychology behind it. I’ve driven more then the average 25 year old but when I was younger I was a reckless driver. Now I see reckless behavior and I’m an old impatient man that wants to control the road. You can’t control it aggressively, it’s a defensive maneuver. Rear view mirrors. Still you can’t really control any of it and that’s what’s so spooky about it, some people are hesitant scared drivers, Dangerous! They’re the worst, Unpredictable.
I think more people should try being a Taxi driver, it’s an amazing experience. I found the ride to be a time that people want to open up, at night at least when they’re drunk. It’s like they’re medicated, sedated. Not everyone opens up , but that can show a lot about who the person is as well. A psychologists dream “The Taxi Driver.” I Love psychology everyone has it. Tonight there was this guy in my car that told me to drive to the lux Burger place, I was like Delux Burger on 142nd and 96th He said “I don’t know, but yeah go to the delux Burger place.” There is only one of them in the city. They were a cool couple, relaxed. It was a pleasant ride and when we got there they gave me a decent tip. Then they got out and as I was about to drive away they tapped on my window and said “this isn’t the right place I guess we’re going to The Lux Bar and Grill. I said I was sorry even though it wasn’t my fault, and drove them back for half price, I would have done it for free cause they were so cool but they insisted. Strange mistake. Lots of good people, there was this really hot chick who smashed her forehead with the corner of the door. I told her to put some snow on it but she didn’t, people do that all the time and it’s funny but it’s also a serious hazard. The girl took it and I’m sure it hurt bad. One of my last fares was a guy I picked up in the past, he called the company and I happened to showed up,(fate) he had read my blog and he said it was creepy and that’s cool I think. My Blog Is Creepy, the dude actually told me that. Tonight didn’t sound creepy did it. You guys know the show Taxi Cab Confessions on HBO imagine the people who won’t sign the waver that says that HBO can use the footage because it would destroy their family, business or life. I bet there is lots of those kinds of incidences, there is in my taxi too.
It snows lots in April in Edmonton
Holly shit did it ever snow tonight. It’s April and yes ladies and gentlemen it snowed something like four centimeters. It hurt business. Business is slow all together, there are several reasons for that, I can’t just blame the snow. I can also blame the cops, most people theses nights know that drinking and driving is legal in Edmonton because it causes to many disruptions for the Police force. The paper work is overwhelming and we all know many not all but lots of the EPS can’t read or write otherwise why would they be cops in this shit hole of a city. So no money but that’s cool. I drove several personal clients that helped me support my family and I love them all, thanx guys.
I only had one interesting fare, well they were crazy and outrageous. A women and a man, they wanted me to get high with them. Smoke a refer. I don’t drive under the influence of anything ever but they insisted. I declined. I let them smoke cigarettes. On their way to the west end they started telling me how I should be getting some action in the Taxi. I told them I got a women at home, they told me she’d never know. I said “my girlfriend would know cause I can’t lie worth a damn.” Then the lady told me that I should just get another women to join me and my old lady. My girlfriend wouldn’t like that too much. My fare on the other hand was a couple looking for a girl to join them on a little erotic adventure. The women kept telling me “I need to eat some fucking pussy, I swing both ways baby.” I got them home, they were awesome, energetic and nuts. They went to smoke a fatty and fuck which is something that everyone should do every once in a while, I think but maybe they should just get loaded. Anyway have fun people or you might end up reading blogs all night alone.
New Sins
NEw Post. Tonight was awful, but they have been for a while now. Economy is changing, the big “BooM” is over. You can see that just looking at what changed during the night life. People can’t afford to go out and spend when they pay 3000$ mortgages. Renters pay at lest 1000$ for apartments in dangerous areas. Anytime the suns not shinning you shouldn’t be walking alone . 1000$ fuck. Cab rides aren’t free and because of that it was hard to make money. Fuck Money$
On my way to work today I was driving up 87ave when I spotted a tiny maybe two year old toddler just strolling up a main traffic artery alone. It was horrifying to watch. I was driving in the opposite direction, there was a meridian in the way. No no one was stopping. The child was all alone. He was tittering on the curb, It was outrageous because no one seemed to care. I turned and made my way toward him parking my car on the street next to him. Someone pulled up beside me and asked if that was my kid I said “no”, then I called 911. I called the cops right away, I knew the kid must live close and he wondered out of his yard and onto oncoming traffic. I got the kid out of danger, he was young but as soon as he saw an adult confront him he made his way into the parking lot behind him. Still not a parent in sight. If I was a bad guy the kid would be gone. I was on the phone with the police giving them a description of a youngster, who’s not old enough to speak and telling them that I still haven’t seen an adult. I was standing there in the middle of White hall square, when I saw a couple walking to their car and yelled “Do you guys have a little boy”, they said “no”. They waited with me. About 20 minutes after I first saw him I saw a women come out of one of the town houses. The fence was open. I asked the little boy if that’s his mom, he said “no.” It was, she took him, I was still talking to 911 when she got there. The police showed up, it was me standing there with the couple from earlier the one in the parking lot. I told them the story.
Prevention is key in society, someone else was not watching that little boy. There were so many different scenarios. Imagine! Traffic, sickos, the dark, getting lost or maybe finding his way back home. I bet you people were afraid to stop. I was on the phone with the police right as I confronted the child. He is not my kid, if I’m dealing with him then the police should be aware of it. Prevention.
After a “BooM” comes a War. Keep an eye on things people we can prevent the inevitable for a long time people. “The drive home” is a war zone and there are so many innocent women and children.
Anonymous
Hey there sweet lady, you must be a girl or an old lady, I can tell. I think I gave you a ride I don’t know, but that’s what I think. Keep commenting, I’ll know who you are, you might be someone who’s blog I commented on, that’s cool I hurt your feeling that’s good I must have been right, Love you too, rock on. Or she could be a whore I didn’t touch, fuck I love this, it’s thrilling. No she doesn’t know me, but it’s a women I think.
What is Canadian freedom?
Imagine Your Favorite Guitar Lick…1.2.3.4.
The best thing ever is driving fast on a highway to hell. hhaha. Yeah that’s cool but when you’re a dad the next best thing is driving on a highway listening to Jimmy Hendrix alone. Ever done it? Wow it gets me every time, and then a SuperTramp song comes on and you take the long way home. I bet you guys thought I was only happy when I’m drunk. Tonight there was many marvelous people and more then a few crack head whores and pimps, I love them all. I got a crazy perspective on my man the mother of nature, lucky me. My second last fare was a strange one. There was this women at the 711, an old Indian women. She gets in and tells me a name of a neighbourhood, “Callingwood.” I start making my way there. I ask her the usual, “where you from? where did you go? Why are you stranded on Stony Plain road alone at 4pm?” She gives me the same old answers “The reserve, I was at the Ramada, my friends ditched me and now I’m lost.” Anyone if you come to the big city remember your address or else. Anyway she started to talk to me in a drunken haze, she told me that she came to Edmonton to drown herself. I asked if she meant drink a shit load of booze, but she said “no”. She said she had two kids her baby boy is going to be 18 in a month. She said that his 18th is the golden birth day. Then she told me that her daughter would have been 28 but she committed suicide ten years ago. The women also told me that she went out with her 18 and 17 year old nieces but they ditched her cause her 50 some year old ass wouldn’t smoke crack with them at the Ramada inn. She was kind of a sad fare. I was going to be really stern with her because she didn’t know the address but her stories were able to soften my mean cabby heart. She paid me and even asked for the 40 cents change, she said she needed it, I believed her. Then she left and I picked up a dude on his way to the airport. I dropped him off and as he was walking to the entrance to the airport I realized that Native women that I drove earlier had urinated all over the front seat. That’s why she was so settled, I get a sad story and she pissed all over my passenger side seat. What’s the moral?
Floating on my own boat
The one thing that can really get to any cabdriver is the back and neck pain. Fuck! I feel like I’m at least 50 my neck is so twisted, my head hurts. There is more, my first fare was a gang member of some sort he told me the name but I chose not to hear it. He straight out told me he sells hard. Hard is not soft, to those of you who have no clue, Hard is Crack and Soft ……. is coke. I guess it also causes softness. I asked him if he did crack he said “no”. His teeth said pipe. I wanted to ask for some cash up front, but I never do that it makes me feel weird. It’s also one of the reasons I get to know each client so well. I want to know that they are going to pay me, but at the end of one of my rides you always leave a tip. This guy was either really fucked up or just didn’t want his I pod thing a mijigi video something, 30 GB. I don’t think it works cause it keeps showing me sad mac, I don’t have the right connection, a USB cable, Ill get one, but if I can get it running I think it was worth the 13 dollar trip. I took a gamble with this one, but at least I got paid. This Thursday was a sign of things to come. Quite. Not just slow, dead. I drove around for hours looking, hunting for nothing. The only thing I found was other taxi drivers. Headache. I still have one. I tense up when I’m alone in the Taxi for to long. Then I was sitting alone in the On The Rocks parking lot right after last call. I was burning Gas waiting for anything, looking at pictures of my son when a kid gets in, drunk and he had just smoked a joint, He stank. “West end” he directed. I acknowledged him and we started on are marry way, then the girl called and told him she wants to see him in the south side, deep south side. So toward Ellerslie I drove. I got there with a little help from my dispatch, but as soon as we arrived she announced that her boyfriend was there. My fare got to kiss her Goodnight and returned with me to the west end. He worked up a good 60$ fare, he tipped me a lot. He said I made his trip to Edmonton a Good one, he was from Edson. Then I told him I was nominated for a 1# driver in the service industry. He wasn’t surprised, but then no one ever is.
your allowed to drink and blog
I just make no sense, but neither does life, sometimes. If I left you an awful comment, leave me one. No one ever does.
Canon Camera was Lost by Laura- weird
God I love having this blog. Blogs are so fucking cool. My taxi is an amazing place to watch a night out on the town unravel. This was a strange weekend. Quit! It was hard to make money, but you made money. It’s such a crazy job, you never know. Today is easter Sunday. O.k so my last fare, West-west end stony Plain Rd, motel, Inn thing, room 2 something this women comes out screwed to the tits, Broken, Messed and ready to continue on a psychotic crack bender from hell. Twitching! Bad. Great. “Where you going?” She can’t tell me she’s flipping through her address book. Totally finished. ” I’ve only been awake for two day’s.” She was lying. The dirty west-end Hotel shit that’s a never ending nightmare. She was scary and I told her that. I was having fun talking to her, but there was always a possibility of something, she could be a threat. This women was for sure schizophrenic, Drug induced. She was also a scam waiting to happen. She was taking me further then I was expecting to go. I asked her for the address. She asked to use my phone.”No!” Instinct. I was past the half way point and she’d been to the address. I trusted her. It was 4:00am I wanted to dig deep into the underbelly of the beast. It is easter morning. This women is so messed up. Flying around the back seat like a little demon, but she wasn’t, but she was. I wanted to record it. Document it for you guys, visually. A prime example of a person in the Wind. We showed up to a House that she pointed out. Twin Brooks, Classy joint nowhere to run. Knock Knock, Ding dong. Middle of the night. Crazy, tweaked out, hooker smiling at you at your front door.”Go away” she’s told by someone who’s probably pretty confused because the women was totally brain dead and kicking. Then we went drove a block over, Ding dong. The door opens and she’s gone. I saw her jacket fly off and the door slams shut. I wait……and wait……..get impatient, radio dispatch and tell them I’m going in “keep an ear on me.” I get out and cruise over to the door. Twin Brooks nice neighbourhood, I use my knuckle, Tap tap. She answers, he’s right behind her, nice house she invites me in. There was a nice look while she was waving me inside, it was like she was inviting me to where she was really from. They were on their way, I jumped back in the car and radioed back. The prostitute had her stuff all over the back seat. They both jumped in. We started back toward the main road. The dude was a dude that was fucking himself over bad. Loosing his house, business, Bad news. He had the cash, well the credit, he told me his friend was at the 711 up the road. We drove there. We talked about how badly this guy was fucking up. He laughed, she laughed, We laughed. 711 was about five bucks away, we got there and waited. The crack dealer showed up. Then the John bought the whore a grape slurpee. That’s what she wanted. When the guy took a drink of it he said ” Man that reminds me of high school.” The girl was almost asleep on the guys lap. My Taxi ride can settle a troubled mind or maybe it was that the crack hit was coming. Dispatch sent me a Text. I called in and told “I’m ok.” The fare was sixty Dollars, he gave me sixty five. I said “stay safe” he said ” I’ll try” and that was my last fare.
Its hard to make Refference to Music. Groovy
I love and hate my job. I love to experience the creation of the mutual understand of things. Tonight was tight in good ways and bad. Nothing scary, just screaming people that have face book stalkers. Men already know everything there is to know about women before they even consensually meet. Not fare! What’s fare? I drove a Muslim man from the Dyker to 107 107, slow down, we talked about religion. It’s a religious day. For some. Jesus was a hot topic. It was neat. The Crucifixion is a big day for Catholics, and Christians too. I spoke Polish in the cab, with a young gentlemen. That never happens, his father was a taxi driver here. Polish people are often the people behind the wheel. GoD I love speaking in other languages, I don’t like it when others speak a language I can’t understand. Today some Egyptians spoke Arabic, and it’s like I lost control of the situation. I usually can get in on any conversation. Just throw the philosophical question and boom! In there and running, working your way into their lives realizing whatever you can just because you can. I don’t speak Arabic, I can’t even remotely understand it. I think they did it (not include me) because I almost drove away from them. I wasn’t discriminating I was just not focused on making money tonight, I mean I was but I didn’t make any. Moving to fast. Sometimes you can only try so hard before you give up. The Police always come out in full force on nights like tonight. When things are quiet even though it’s a Friday night, that’s when the cops can pick on you. There is this crack dealer that I drove once, he’s been calling me non stop, I can’t have him in the car, and he needs to use it. I could never have that kind of stuff going on around me. Often there are Cats that think that they can use me in order to personally gain a great deal of wealth, by destroying the lives of others, and then compensating me with Jack shit. This guy got my number from some girl I totally trust. He is her family, and I wish I never met him. I was hungry all night and still am. Some rich people are good and some are not. Same with the poor, and the middle class. Fuck groovy I am a pessimist.
Sweet feet something you just can’t beat
Thursday is the start of the Easter long weekend. My night was going well at first. I was making the mad money when I was suppose to go to the airport to pick up my own mother. Well it was super busy so I called in a favor from the family and they sent my extremely pregnant cousin for the ride. So who can I write about, there was the chick that is on her way to becoming a RCMP officer she told me that the police chief actually became the chief because some one owed him a favor, and that the man that was meant to be chief would actually be doing something about the crime. Go figure the chief got luck won a bet and started to watch a city burn cause he really knows nothing about taking care of his job, not surprising. It was a personal client kind of night. My first clients were sweet St. Albert women that were lucky to get me cause they looked good the first time I ever picked them up, they wore these sexy high heels and I appreciate a women that can wear a mean set of heals and actually walk in them. So they got picked up and they paid like only classy chicks know how to pay, thanx. Then there was the teacher women, I’ve never been able to pick her up, tonight I tried but she ditched me. Getting ditched almost never happens so it hurt a bit, but I survived. Then I got a personal call that I know very well, I’ve been driving her for a long time she has always been consistent but tonight she did not show up, which is shitty but not like her. I should know she has called me at least 50 times in the last year. I tried to call her back but she wouldn’t answer her phone. I’m scarred something happened to her. Call me please I’m still worried, she has even left comments on the blog before so she might read this and get my message. Then there was another old fare, it’s her birthday today, the big one nine. She is young. Her older cousin sat in my lap trying to get a cheap fare to Sherwood park but that was a no go. I drove the birthday girl home alone and for free. Happy birthday. Some dude also snorted so much coke in the back that what he left behind was enough to kill a bull dog, but he seemed fine, he must have had a hard core tolerance, coke kids always tip me pretty well and all I want from them is to sober up and have fun naturally, but they never do
Fake Id’s at the Druid 80$ a Pop
Saint Patrick’s was my most lucrative night last year. I grossed something like 650$. This year was much different, it was a Monday, people work tomorrow. I made a decent wage. I have a couple stories. There was the old dude, real nice. I picked him up at the bus station, and the first thing he told me was that on the bus he had to take a shit. He could feel his crap creeping up on him. When he reached the city station he shot out of the bus as fast as he could. He made it to the bathroom, then he had to get undressed. Well then he took his shit. He said that when he finished he felt satisfied, but as he was pulling up his pants he found, on his special pads a few lumps. Good thing he was wearing the special pad because all he had to do was throw the pad away and bada bing he could put his pant on without feeling insecure. I thought that was a great one. Then there was this big lady coming from downtown to the west end. She was hefty, she was wearing a dress, lots of cleavage and it was a short dress. When she got in the front seat she sat like a man, big legs spread, she smelt so bad. Her insides, it was rough. Then there was the Jehovah’s Witness, she was insane, she told me that she was kicked out of her religion. She had had premarital sex with another man of her faith. She confessed for her sin but he did not, she got the boot he stayed. She smelt like she had not showered in a month, but she was nice and she was a believer in the big guy upstairs so she was kind of intriguing, even though she smelled funny and she was a little crazy. Crazy people are either Jesus or the devil. I also picked a 18 year old up in Riverbend he was hitchhiking, I picked him up and drove him to the outlaying suburb of Sherwood Park, a forty dollar trip for free, so Johnny don’t forget the Karma Factor. That was it for strange things that happened to your……oh no there was also this women from Doc’s a shit hole on Stony Plain Rd. She was only going three blocks. I don’t even turn on the meter for trips like that. She gave me five bucks and I gave her my number, she gave me hers and said “If you’re ever looking for some crack just call or some crack (snatch) just call” then she told me she wants a kid because her youngest is now 8. I told her to think about that and maybe just remember how much attention a baby needs. We all know that a women that sells her snatch for crack should lay off the baby making. At least that’s what I think. How about you? Better yet how’s about Saint Pattie? Bada Bing.
Cork Whore-Hard Core Hot Dog in the Mouth
My night was full of snow. More fucking snow. I had lots of personals, some personals called just to say hi. Yo, Love all of you. Not much to say other then tonight I had several intelligent ladies and gentlemen in the car. Not a one was a crack head. There were so many drunk drivers. I now realize that the cops are just worthless. One of my good friends called me, one that I stopped hanging out with cause he really isn’t such a good friend, but he was with his cousin who just had a daughter and I had a lot in common with him so I’m happy that I picked them up. Babies can really bring people together. Earlier in the evening I was called to an address 81ave and 109st they asked for five taxis. That’s a huge number of cars. I was the first to show up from my company. There was a another Co-op taxi there already. I’m not affiliated to Co-op so I went to his window to ask if he was also one of five that were called to that address, he said “yes.” That means that the asshole who lives at that address called ten taxis. Some of the people started to come out of the house. I asked the Co-op prick to not take them cause they have abused their privileges, the asshole toke them, they even started talking shit to me, his fare. #$% was the Co-op cars number, so he took the first batch of assholes and then all the other cabs started showing up. 8 fucking taxis. @#$ had already taken off. If I ever find that piece of shit taxi driver and I’m loaded I am gonna take a dump in the back seat of his van. He broke the ultimate in taxi etiquette. He even wasted his own peoples time, remember readers $5$ Co-op a big van, that guy should be taken off the road, non violently but he should be gone. ^&% if you get in his van feel free to take a shit for me, in the back seat please and thank you. Other then that the night was uneventful and that’s great.  Peace and love. Â
Like I don’t know, the Yukon
Holly shit this was a doozie. The storm came and went and then came back. Snow, snow, snow and then some more fucking snow. Mat sorry no Beaumont tonight. Love to all my personals. Now lets get down to business, my fares. There was little that I can tell you that was interesting other then the fact that it snowed about a half a foot of snow in a matter of a few hours. Most of those hours where pivotal moments for money making, but that’s life. Mother nature sure knows how to stick a dick in the ass of the taxi driver. That’s o.k as long as no else tries to I’m fine. Back in the day some native man asked if he could hold my penis, but I think I already told you that one. Tonight was not the best for a decent story, the only thing that sticks out in my mind was the voices. People get in a Cab and talk. Some speak eloquently and some don’t. Some tell the truth and some lie. Others talk down while others speak up. You can tell a lot about a person by the sound of their voice, by the way they insinuate things. Tonight I had a 17 year old in the back seat with a young gentlemen 18. She was under age but she had gotten a hold of half a Margarita, so in her mind she was allowed to behave drunk. She wanted attention, and the only way she could do it was by talking like she was like needing to like stripe or something like that. She couldn’t hold a conversation with a brick wall but she would fuck it for attention. I tried to tell her that her behavior was unacceptable without actually telling her that she sounds like a 17 year old that’s on her way to being some rig pigs crack whore, but her mind though young was to feeble to grasp my approach. The boy did, he knew the girl was headed for trouble but he was 18 and like all 18 year olds sex is a necessity. Dude I hope you got laid, but that girl is bad news. Later I got another girl with the same attitude in her voice, condescending. She was like aaaaaa I don’t know like aaaaaaaa you know like aaaammmmm except she was like twenty five and almost a nurse. She wanted the same type of attention except she was almost 25. I told her that she sounded like a teenager, that pissed her off (it was suppose to, but she didn’t understand) Girls with good looks often don’t fully develop mentally they kind of stop at 17. That’s when they can get whatever they want, as long as they bend over or smile like a donut, so sometimes I like to point that out to them. Now I don’t know if any of the ladies that I talked shit about will read this post but if they do please leave a comment explain yourselves. Or change your ways. Honestly adulthood is so fucking hard, I wish I didn’t know the right way, then I might be able to except all the shit that happens in this modern civilized rich world. Ladies (only the dumb bimbos, they know who they are) your children are going to one day rule the world, teach them how to make life beautiful not how to suck dick for coke. I’m an asshole but I’m right, cause some women are having kids and those kids are brought up by empty people. Who cares, I did my job, I did my best so to you good folks out there stay safe and have fun. If you know you know.
If your boy can’t drive you home sober, ditch his ass
Tonight was the night before the storm. I hope there is no storm tomorrow. Not much to tell you guys about, there was a couple of personals. My old lady is in Van this week so I’m home alone, I went to work early. I thought I was going to make a killing, but I was very wrong. 350 some km and I made some crappy number closer to 200 then 300 but at least no kick in the head right? Wrong, I’m sick for the first time since I started driving taxi. My face is full of snot. I hate it. I realized that I have snot all over my jacket, it must have landed there after one of the many sneezes. I am so embarrassed because even though there wasn’t very many people in my taxi they all must have seen the glimmer of bugger all over my collar area, no one said a word, and no one tipped worth a damn. They had good reason I guess. “AAAaaaa chuuuuu” fuck I’m done there is snot on the keyboard, please come back tomorrow I might have a decent story for you.
Edmonton the land of Dirt Bags
You know last night I was so tiered that I forgot to tell you what happened to my friend. She works at a bar, just a little pub off of Jasper. So last call hits, then the bars closes and she get in her car to go home. She turns onto Jasper ave and stops at a red light, there is a man sitting in his white truck with the hazard lights on. As soon as the light says go she starts to move but so does he. She drives home, her usual course all the way to the West end, when she approaches her house she realizes that the man is still following her. He’s making all the same turns she does. She tries to loose him but no the fucker persists. She drives toward the freeway, so does he. She calls me over and over again. She was so scared that while driving on the freeway she swerved into an exit lane at the last minute. The exit leads to my house where my girlfriend was sleeping. She lost the guy but was so scared to go home she knocked on my girlfriends window at 5 am. She slept over at our house. I was upset to hear such a scary story. I was more upset that she did not get the animals license plate, but I was happy that she felt safe here with my family. If I was a women getting followed by that asshole he would be in jail, getting rapped (hopefully). I would have gotten him back. Anyone in this position ever should call 911.
People who stand in lines to go to the bar are like sheep
Tonight was a straight up shit show. The weather was good throughout the day (spring like) so the night was full of people looking for trouble. The lines to the bar were so long that I wish I took a picture of them, but I was too busy driving dushbags around. I had a fare on the North side 156 ave and 43rd st, holly shit was it ever hard to find. I would have ditched it it took me so long but it was my cousin. I love my cousin even though he parties on the North side. There wasn’t anything weird tonight. Except the daylight savings change that made the night go a little faster. Driving the night shift for almost three years has fucked me up. I need a little more day time, sunlight and a little less blackness and bad driving. Lots of drunks driving more then usual and I saw lot of cops but they were in the bus shelters flirting with the bums. I’m happy they weren’t hitting on me. Lots of personal fares called me, the only problem was they all called at the same time. I can only drive one car at a time.
My first fare was a personal client, she told me that her mother was a drug addict. I drove her mother to buy prescriptions the other day so I already knew that her mother was a heroin, oxy-codon abuser. The fare also told me that she had given birth to a still born baby a little while ago. The father of the child had left her, and she was forced to arrange the funeral by herself, thats some sad stuff. She was still upset about it, I think anybody human would be, but she did not turn to drugs to help her deal with the pain, actually she moved out of her moms house and completely turned herself into a good person. I could see the kindness in her eyes, something that her mother did not have anymore. The night was so busy and flew by so fast that I can’t really remember very much so I hope the horror story about the still born is enough and if it isn’t then come back soon there is more where this came from.
If the line up to the bar is too long go somewhere else
Tonight was so nice, one of my new regulars did something for me that I’ll never understand. I drove her to New City, she gave me the best tip I’ve ever gotten, so thank you. The night was slow, no rotten apples (thank God) but other then the Big tip I made jack shit, but that’s o.k. 2-300$ is better then a kick in the face. That’s what my old lady likes to tell me when I complain about money, and she’s right I don’t want a kick in the noggin. Lots of personal fares, some new some old. One of the newer ones is this 19 year old girl. She likes to party but just drinks booze no drugs. Well she called me late or early in the morning, she sounded distressed so I hurried to pick her up. She had gone on a date with a Newphy, actually I drove the couple to the strip club. Well she called me later and sounded upset so I picked her up. She tells me that they were having a great time until he wanted to go back to his place, he dragged her back. She though maybe it’s going to go, pizza and a movie. No that wasn’t the case, the dude was hurting for sex and he tried to force her into it. When she got in my car she told me that she was lucky that he even let her go. I am now starting to understand the concept behind date rape and how women feel guilty over such incidences, but I will never understand how a human male is capable of it. A man who forces himself into a women is not a man he’s some sort of primate, a monkey that knows how to talk. Women should have a radar for that kind of bastard. There is signs I bet but I can’t see them since I am never exposed to rapists who will admit that they rape. That’s the strange part of my job sometimes people tell me shit about their life that no one knows, but even though I’ve had girls tell me they’ve been assaulted, I’ve never had a man come into the taxi and tell me he just raped somebody. I know that I’ve driven someone like that way to many times, but I never heard a word. Sometimes I’ll drive a group of men that just had sex with a girl, and it sounds like they took advantage of her but because their in a group they don’t see it the way I do. Drunk assholes are some of the worst people they follow each others leads like sheep. That is one of the most nauseating things that I see, the following of bad behavior even though you know better. I guess we can’t all think for ourselves, because so many humans are just cattle. Mooo.
I never picked up a Hooker Untill my Girlfriend got Pregnant
Tonight tonight. What happened? Well there was my third fare an ex cab driver, this guy worked for the same company I do and even drove taxis owned by the guy I work for. He gets in at Lee Gardens Pub on the West-End and as soon as he steps in he asks “you a cop?” I say “no” then he says “good then we’re going to be doing some driving.” I Know what’s going on but the guy keeps telling me that he knows all the tricks of the trade cause he drove a taxi for ten years ten years ago. He told me to go downtown, so I started driving in that direction. I knew what he wanted but I figured since the mother fucker was such an experienced driver that he could guide me. He did willingly. He gave me sixty bucks and told me “there was more where that came from just keep driving” so I did. We get to 107 ave and he starts his trolling, He sees nothing that he likes and we move on to the next street, 95th st still nothing. He tells me that there is this one that he really likes. We keep driving until we hit 118 ave, lots to choose from, none tickle his fancy. Until he sees her, ugly skinny and fucked up. “Stop that’s the one” he screams so I turn into an alley and tell him that if he wants me to drive him back to the West-End he’s going to have to step out of the vehicle to solicit her, he doesn’t he just rolls down the window. Again I say “get out of the car, don’t talk to her from inside my car until you finish the business you want to arrange with her outside.” He gets out, I think to myself this guy is married . The two get in. I say “west” and the guy says “no Londonderry Mall”, I move in that direction, the whore starts talking to her medicine man over the phone “hey it’s China, no no I got money Ill be there in a few minutes, I got some wheels.” We pull up to the mall and China steps out looks around and tells us to wait. I tell the guy to watch her, he had already given her 150$. We wait until a blue Olds Mobile pulls into a parking stall a few cars away. She goes and gets in, then another lady walks up to the car and gets in. They both get dealt a bag of crack suited for a John and his whore. The two hookers get out of the blue car and China comes running back to my taxi. She gets in, the two in the back talk in whispers for a few minutes, then China packs a pipe full of rocks and tries to get the guy to smoke it so he can prove that he’s not a cop. I tell the two there is no crack allowed in the car. So we pull into an alley off of 127th st and the dude gets out an smokes and hit of crack. She is cool with him after that, but he has decided to kick little China doll out into the cold and move on with his bag of crack without her. In a way I applauded him, most men can’t do that, even if they’re married. He gave me 20 more dollars and I dropped him off a Ezzies in the Ramada Inn next to the airport downtown. That was 80$ worth of work don’t you think?
Then there were the two dudes, they came from up North, they were rig pigs. They told me to drive them to the Fairmont Hotel McDonald, I thought classy for riggers but hey the dumb fucks go up there to rack in the cash. Later they told me that the company pays for the rooms. On the way we get to talking, they both seem legit, until the one who’s been a rig pig since he was 17 decided he wanted to go to a Rub and Tug. I told them it’s late, and most massage parlors are closed, they did not care, they had money in their pocked begging them to be spent on whores. We drove around for about fifteen bucks looking for a sleazy Jerk off Joint but we had no luck, they tried so hard too, they would run up to the doors to make sure they were closed. Then one of them said “fuck, I’ve made enough money why don’t I just call up an escort, whats 400$ for a good blow job and fuck hahahaha?” The two laughed. I got them to their hotel and they left me feeling dirty, but this jobs been doing that lately. Then I had a couple of Mexican musicians smoke weed in the car, I told them not to but their friend just kept insisting “it’s that guys birsday, please, don’t kick us out” the smoking Mexicans stopped and I got them to their destination. There was more crap like that but I’m tiered so peace out. Oh and I haven’t talked to the owner of the taxi about the theft yet but I’ll fill you in if there is any juice behind it.
I knew DATS was chalk full of bad Drivers but…….
A DATS driver was charged for a sexual assault on a Women with a disability. DATS is an Edmonton transportation company, it’s for the disabled and they get their Drivers from the Taxi commission sometimes. If you ever get a shifty driver of any kind report the bum, and get his ass fired or arrested. It’s in the hands of the victims.
"Hello this is Constable…………."
I wake up to my girlfriend telling me “the cops just called asking if you’re safe” I asked “why?” My girlfriend said “They have reports that two aboriginal women are driving around in your taxi.” The funny thing is this is the second time I’ve gotten that phone call in a year. The crappy thing is I filled the car with the expensive gas, they were out of regular and I was excited to drive around with some high octane.
Alley cat’s right past 142nd, nice hood
Hey tonight was awesome for all the right reasons except the cash, I came home with Thursday night earnings. You know what that’s o.k this thursday I made more then I usually do. I picked up a women that I met using Blogspot. Her and her boyfriend were my best fare tonight. You two thank you for the kindness and the appreciation you guys are hard core and I loved it, call my ass anytime.
I did have one interesting fare, it was this girl that came into the car with a bunch of guys, she knew one of them but they weren’t together (just friends). This lady was hyper-active or going through a manic state of some sort. She did not appear high on drugs in any way, she was just on fire. She kept insinuating that she was a slutty girl, she talked about how she likes to smile like a donut and that kind of dirty stuff. The car was full of guys including me, when she stepped out to buy smokes we talked about what we thought of her. The two dudes were already planning a tag team event, they were even giving each other high fives like they were in the ring, but they were in the front and back of my car. She came back and talked dirty some more and even told the two guys that she was going home with them. She backed out at the last minute and went home with her friend. She has this blog address and my phone number so if she wants to find out where the tag teamers live just give me a call, not! Hey lady I hope you stay safe in the future but even if you’re manic depressive remember the world does not revolve around you, this is a dangerous city and you could invite the wrong mother fucker into your hotel room one night and who knows what will happen? Crazy.
There was also this personal fare that I had, she called me, and I decided to pick her up. East end of stony plain. She lived in a house that had been black listed by all the companies. I met her last night. I remember I had to drive fast, before the pharmacy closed. I made it with three minutes to spare. She got her pills. The next stop was the London Drugs store, she got cover up to cover up the herpes . She told me she was a coke addict. I drove her home, and gave her my number. She called tonight, I was stupid enough to pick her up. I waited like twenty minutes and when she finally got in, she told me that she was going four blocks away. She hadn’t slept since I drove her to the pharmacy. She did a lot of coke. We were greeted at the destination by a fat asshole that was so psychotic he forgot to put on shoes, she paid me ten bucks and told me that she hoped that was enough to re insure another ride at another time. It’s never enough, but that lady is never going to get my time of night.
Fucking Photo Radar
Do you know why it can suck being a bouncer at a strip joint? Cause sometimes you got to throw out a fat guy wearing loose sweat pants and no underwear. Hahahahaha someone told me that tonight. So what happened? I bit my tongue and it’s bleeding. I got lost with these two sweet women, nothing makes me feel like less of a man then getting lost. I also got a photoradar ticket. If you guys know anything about me it’s that I fucking hate the photoradar operator. He’s as bad as the fucking crack dealers except he puts money in the pockets of mmmm I don’t really know but I’m sure the money gets wasted on politicians and cops. None of them do very much good. At least in my city. I can’t talk too much shit about the cops cause one day I might need their help and they might actually make it in time to assist me out of a violent situation, I’m keeping my fingers crossed. It was a slow night, the two ladies I got lost with were my best fare, because they enjoyed the ride so much they left me a huge tip, so thanks………whatever you want to call the big guy or girl upstairs for women who don’t know where they’re going. Oh my last fare was a couple of strait up crooks, they spend the night looting and breaking into peoples houses for a living, I just wanted to let you guys know that they were wearing thousands of dollars worth of jewelry, and they had lots of cash, so if you want to rob and steal and get away with it Edmonton is the place to be, and if you want to be legit and be successfully, die and go to heaven cause this is hell baby, at least at night.
There was some teenage innocents
Aaa a new week to talk about my crappy job. I’m joking this is the best job I could have dreamed of. My night was the cats meow. Big bucks. The guy at The Union, drunk as fuck, 28 years old has an old lady at home and great job and all he wants in life is a little kid. I told him I was a dad and the dude tipped me 40$, now that’s a great tip. I drove a cop tonight, he told he was a cop as soon as he got in. I would have looked at me and tried to figure out weather or not I was a crooked son of a bitch. That’s what most sober cops do when they see my young white ass behind the wheel of a Edmonton city taxi. They always end up liking me cause I’m honest and crack is something that I truly despise. I hate the pusher worse. Tonight I had a dude push some junk while driving with me. He got ripped off 2000$ by some black dudes that tried to run him over. The reason I was driving him around was because he was trying to get some fronts fast, so he could get back in the game. He got the fronts. He showed me the loot. Which I hate cause that involves me. Just because I can shoot the shit with anyone doesn’t mean I actually like all the assholes that I drive. I’m so good at shooting the shit that the criminals open up to me against their better judgment, Dumb fucks. I told the cop that I saw the bags of drugs, and he said “welcome to my world” I should have told him to hang up his gun and try running the road with just a tank a gas and a couple of pairs of wheels. If I wanted to I could be a pimp, girls ask me to hook them up with Johns all the time, I could also push an ass load of blow a night but I don’t cause I love being a Good Guy. You never know I might end up on the loosing end but at least I’ll go down fighting for the right side, not the child molesting, crack smoking, coke selling, whore fucking rapists side. Take care of yourself kids, get fucked up have fun but don’t step on the dreams of others unless they dream of stealing from you, then take them out at the knees.
Tonight there was a little zygote in my car (that means I’m gonna be lucky)
Tonight was good, almost all my fares were my personal clients. I’m getting to be so independent that if I decided to start my own company I would already have a stable clientele. So tonight if there was one thing I could say is that there is too many people calling too many cabs for one person. The bastards who can’t wait for the first cab that they called and then they call another and another and another. That happens all the time, and every time I catch someone doing it I black list their number. If your one of those be careful cause I’m a nazi when it comes to assholes who call out a cab convention for one miserable mother fucker. Sometimes when I catch the culprits in the act they’re hurting for a cab so bad and there is three sitting right in front of them and they can’t get in cause they have sinned the ultimate in Taxi sins. The adulterous assholes try to lie their way in but not if my ass is working. They get black listed. Tonight I screwed many people over for fucking me around. It’s not that cold, and I don’t care if you’re a really good looking chick with a short skirt and you’re freezing if you tried to cheat my system to help yourself out selfishly I wish you a long walk home, cause your number is gonna end up in my companies black list and you’re going to be sitting on a curb waiting for the small Independent taxi guy who is almost always at least a hour away. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA hey I gotta get off on something, If it wasn’t for the black list I would be completely powerless to the ever growing ignorant population of taxi abusers. On a good note I drove a pregnant women, she just found out, I was one of the first to know, Lucky me.
Somethimes I think I hate
Friday was o.k. I wish there was something I could say that could prove to you guys that the world is coming to a bloody end. People are so empty. So tonight I picked a Guy up at On the rocks, “97st and 109a ave” he told me was his address. On the way the guy started telling me that he made 40$ an hour in some shit hole up North. That was probably true. So I get him to the destination in one of the worst places in the city. He starts acting like a reject, he can’t find his money he wants to go inside to get some more. I ask for collateral. He gives me his license, that was a sign to me that maybe the bald twit would actually pay me. He goes inside for a long time and comes back empty handed. “We’re going to the ATM my friend” he says while trying to get back in the car. I locked the doors not wanting this pile of shit in the car, but he is the guy that owes me money so I got to let him back in. He gets in and I do the dumbest thing I could ever do, I hand the fucker back his ID. We get to the store with the bank machine and he goes in. I’m on 118ave and 97st a place you go to get a 15$ blow job. Blocks and blocks of whore junkies. The guys inside working the ATM for a long time, meaning that he has nothing in his broke ass account. Then instead of coming back to tell me that he’s out of cash the shit face just stands there with his bald ugly toothless face and stairs at me. Not moving, not caring knowing damn well I’m waiting for him. That’s how he ripped me off, I wasn’t about to go in there and get him, the police are too busy jacking their partners off to come help get this thief, so I just drove away, fuck that sucked. Then there was this Boxer, he is on his way to the Olympics 2010. His name was Chad Big..something. Well the only reason he got in my taxi was because he jumped in front of me, literally he jumped his ass in front of a moving car ( I was hauling ass). Him and his friends jumped in, Chad was so fucked up he wanted to kill, and he was big. I was lucky cause I’m a white kid and this boxer was on of the most racist people I’ve driven in a while. One of his friends from a small town in Ontario wanted to stop and get some chewing tobacco, I stopped at the same gas station that I got ripped of at 118ave 97st, there was this group of young Native girls hanging around looking for a taxi, while the guys were in the store me and one of the friends were trying to stop the girls from getting into the car. They were drunk and did not care that the car was taken, until of course the big racist boxer stepped out and almost started to beat the girls up. Remember this guy is possibly going to the Olympics, he’s huge and he was drunk, his friend convinced him to get back in the car, the girls spit at him and my taxi. Their lucky he didn’t swing at them, he would have killed all four thirteen year olds with one swing. On the way to his house he mentioned that it was his coach that taught him to hate “chugs” well I hope that coach gets taught a lesson. Then I drove this lady she was awesome cause even though she was very rich she was level headed. Her friend wanted to drive her home, but she was drunk and the lady chose me instead. One thing about this women was that she strongly believed that the world was coming to an end, she even got a tattoo of the Apocalypse, cool. My last fare was a group of ignorants. They took so long to get in my car it hurt. When they got in (two 18 year olds and 1 old fart) I could tell this old shit had been feeding them blow all night, he was an asshole to me cause he knew that I had more in common with the girls then he did. The one up front talked to me, she was blasted half way to the moon on Coke but she thought that she was the king shit. On the way I mentioned something about hookers and the one up front could not understand why guys do that. Pay for sex. She did not even think of herself as whore and I bet by the end of the night Sunny (the old fart) is gonna have his old impotent saggy dick in her dumb 18 year old trap. Ladies nothing is free, especially illicit drugs. She gave me 60$, a 30$ tip but she is still a whore in my books.
…………………………..then I drove home
This was the worst night I’ve driven in months. Nothing good happened except a reader called me, the only problem was that I was returning from Spruce Grove. Mat I’m sorry I wish I picked you up tonight. I thank you for reading though and please feel free to call anytime. There was a also a message on my voice mail from a Calgary resident, I’m sorry we did not speak but you can call me anytime and if I don’t answer text me, you know who you are.
My night sucked, I drove like eight people so there is nothing to tell. Readers I love you without you I would probably drive into………
Family Day
Sunday night, when was the last time I ever wrote about a Sunday? I don’t think I’ve worked Sunday while writing the blog. The On Going History of New Music is on at 9 pm, it is hosted by a dude named Allan Cross and it’s the best show on the Radio, check it out on Sonic 102.9FM. If you don’t live here Google it, it’s awesome. Now about the night, there was nothing really special throughout most of the night. I did drive this women who worked at a massage parlor on 82ave. She was from Calgary, she had just lost her kids and she was trying to get back on her feet here in Edmonton. She told me a fundamental difference between Edmonton and Cow-town (Calgary). She said “In Calgary you got to hustle to get that ten bucks, but in Edmonton they’ll stab you for five.” Thats The way it is here, it’s one of the darkest, roughest places in North America. If you don’t believe me come down for a visit.
Tonight I drove another Global Citizen, this man travels the world for a living. He was a great fare to the International Airport. He told me that because of his life of travel he wasn’t sure where he had a home. I understood that, I never really knew where I stood as a citizen until I realized that I was a Global citizen, I told him he was too, I hope he agrees with me. There is going to be more of us soon, I just hope it happens before mankind destroys the Planet. Stay safe and rock on. All my International readers your becoming more Global by just reading my life at night in Edmonton Alberta.
Vagina
Nice title, I hope those girls read this post cause I named it after their suggestion. (I’ll do anything for a reader) Tonight was so crazy. It started up with this old lady, she gets in and says “it’s my birthday.” Me being the kind gentleman I am said “oh, you don’t look a day over twenty five” she believed me, man I must be a good actor. It was really her forty third birthday. So she wanted to go to the Mayfield Inn on the other side of town, great fare, I’m good I got her there for twenty five bucks. On the way we got to talking. She told me that she has a good man that doesn’t abuse her and a sixteen year old son that she smokes weed with. It was a good chat. I’m really pretty good at getting my clients to open up to me. So she gets there for cheap and of course she needs my number cause there is no other cad drivers as good as me in the city, I give up the digits. Well about half and hour later this womens calls me back panting and says “please come pick me up” I tell her “I’m close about five minutes away, are you o.k?” She says “I’m fine I was just running.” I make my way over to the hotel, there is a bar inside and I thought that’s where she was having her birthday shindig. I was wrong. So I get to the women and she is still panting, I’m wondering what’s going on. She gets in and tells me “move take me back home.” I said “that’s strange I thought you’re having a party. Why are you leaving so soon?” This is what she told me “Well I needed some extra cash and I use lava life an online dating service. My ad says I’m looking for generous guys. Wink wink.” I started to get the drift but she kept talking “well I met this guy online and he said he was looking for a good time, he had lots of cash and his wife was left behind in New Brunswick. I met him and what a creeper. He was bald and ugly, he told me that he was attractive. So we made our way up to the bedroom and we started the date, he had such a tiny dink, well before I went down on him I asked him if he could get me a pop, while he was out I took two hundred bucks and ran.” That’s when I got the call. So I asked her if she ripped him off. She said “no I don’t think he wanted to slip me the sausage, I just won’t be there when he comes back thats all.” I was starting to realize I had a bad lady on my hands. I asked what she needed the money for. She told me ” me and my man (who according to her has a huge cock) are going to smoke meth and fuck like rabbits.” Then I asked her “why doesn’t your man, if he’s so good, find a way to hook up the drugs, at least on your birthday?” All she could talk about was that he was a good man. Yeah right. That was an interesting start to a screwy night. Next was the asshole crack head. I picked him up on 82nd ave east of 83rd street. He took so long I should have ditched him but I’m a decent cabbie, I pick up people who call. He gets in, his face is black and blue. He tells me to go to Jet night club on 34th ave. I start driving, the dude was so messed up he was having trouble doing up his laces. I asked him what happened to his face. He said ” last night I was trying to get a room at the Trailway motel and the bitch who runs it said no cause the last time I was there I caused some trouble, I told her that I got the money but she still said no. Well there was this kid hagging around there and he kept lipping me off so I put him in head lock and knocked him around a bit. Then the bitches son comes around and kicks me out, and as soon as I step out the kid and four of his friends bear mace me. I was stunned, and then they beat me with a shovel, that’s where I got the shiner.” Then the guy start digging around in his pockets and freaking out about how he lost his shit (crack) but then he found it and proceeded to fill his little pipe. He almost started smoking it before I asked him to stop. He said “it’s pure you won’t even smell it” I said “no.” He told me to pull over, so I did, then he stepped out with one foot and took a huge crack blast. He felt better after that. He started telling me how big time he is and how if you don’t go big you go home. Homes not that bad of a place I thought. So while he was all hopped up he started talking about all the things he steals and stole. “Once there was this Winnebago outside of the Value Village, a thirty footer, I stole it and made it one of the best cracker houses on the block, filled with drugs and whores” he said. This guy was starting to get a little psychotic, drugs do that, I dealt with him by not bitching about the fact that he skinged out on the fare by five bucks. At least he was out of my life. He did have five hundred buck worth of crack on him he told me and he was gonna finish it at the club. There was also this cougar, she was hot in her own way, man was she ever wasted, on the way to the after hours club she rolled down the window and just yelled at everyone, crazy for an older women, then at a red light she got the attention of the guy sitting in the truck next to us by rubbing her nipples through her shirt , the dude would not stop following us but they got to the Y after hours club safe and sound. Then there was the strippers, two strung out junkies. They wanted to go to Castle Downs Road and 100st and back (drug run) we waited at the 711 there for twenty minutes, them a guy in a Toyota FJ Cruiser came, took one of the chicks and left, he was paranoid. It took him forever, and while I was waiting with the one stripper I got a call saying my day driver was waiting for me. It was past 5am shit. When the girl called back I had to go and pick her up behind a church cause the slezzball coke pusher was scared to come back to the 711 on 100st so I went. On the way back I was moving fast, I just wanted to get the car back, I’m pretty sure the strippers did a bump while I was speeding them home because they gave me an outrageous tip. I got the car back, and the day driver was talking to another cabbie, he did not notice me return so I just got in my car and left. The night was long I just wanted to go home.
When I was Seventeen I knew it All.
Friday nights are sweet. Maybe it was the burlesque dancer that showed off her costume. I’m sure that girl can put on quite a show. There was also just a lot of good people out tonight. My personals are always good. I did call 911 tonight on this street racer. I was driving up Belgravia off of fox drive when I wanted to do a lane change, so I do the usual lane change shoulder check and proceeded, but before I knew it an asshole going at least 160km/hr threw his vehicle in my way, I was lucky that me and the four people I was driving in the car managed to get out of his way, but then the truck he was racing almost killed us. Belgravia is a 50km/hr road. The assholes were forced to stop behind traffic at a red light. One of my passengers was so flustered that he wanted to go out and hurt these stupid kids. I told him to memorize the license plat number. We could only see one plate. So when we called it in I told the 911 dispatch guy what had happened and he laughed, and said “how could you read the license plate number if they were going so fast? Were you going that fast? Thats illegal.” I had to explain to him that they were forced to stop and thats how I got close enough to see the plate. The cop was arrogant I wounder if he realizes that, the piece of shit should take his job seriously because I’m thinking I’m going to complain about him. All the calls are recorded and his attitude to me was like I was pranking him or something. I don’t prank 911. He kind of shaped up when I told him I’m driving a taxi, some cops are just ignorant pigs, but not all of them. There is one other thing that happened to me tonight, I got a call from a personal client, he was in the passenger seat of a car that was being driven by an extremely drunk individual . He was also with two girls one of the two needed to go to St.Albert, I told them to get out of that car and wait for me. The drunk guy drove them to my personal fares house, stupid. I got there to drive the lady to St.Albert. My personal client came along for the ride. On the way to St.Albert I asked the girl how she knew my client, she told me that she had flagged him down on Jasper ave. So she got in a car with two guys she had never met, and the driver was so drunk he was bouncing off curbs. My next question was “how old are you?” she said “seventeen” I looked at my client with disgust. He picked up a seventeen year old off the street with a drunk guy. Both my client and this girl need to get their heads screwed on straight. The seventeen year old did not think she was engaging in risky behavior because she thinks she can handle herself in fucked up situations. So as we were driving to her house I asked her if she could tell me where she was. She had no Idea. I told her that if I dropped her off in the neighborhood that we were in at that time, she would not get picked up for a ride home but more like a ride to hell (if you get my drift), pimps and whoes. The young girl didn’t care she thought she knew it all. Seventeen, I guess thats the only time in a humans life when we actually do know it all. Well I gave her my number and blog address, so that if she ever decided to jump into a strangers car she should try me first, I also gave her my blog address and told her to read it cause I was going to write about her. She might read it you guys, so please leave her a comment so she can read what you guys and gals think about her behavior. Peace, stay safe, oh and rock on.
DID YOU KNOW? Canadians are Hypocrites
The Alberta Tar Sands are the most destructive operation in the World. Canadians are selling mother nature out. We are worse environmental assholes then any other nation because we try to cover it up. My government is bad and it is a lier and citizen who don’t agree with me are just part of the cover up. Fort McMurray Alberta, look it up if you’ve never heard of it. Toxic Tar Sands. You can see the lakes of toxic waste from space. God help us all, or teach the Canadian Government a lesson.
Slow and Steady Gets Home and That’s Enough
My night was o.k tonight, quiet and simple. I drove several of my personals. Man if it was not for them the taxi biz would not support my family, so thanx all you personal fares I love you. The only exciting thing I did was this morning, I excepted a late fare thinking that whoever I was gonna pick up was going a short distance away. So I pull up to the house and of course it was a couple on their way the airport. This would have been great if there wasn’t one problem Freezing rain. You see it was -44 last week and last night it was -1 and raining, makes for a skating rink. I was scared to go on the high way, but the look of the couple that was on their way to Paris when I told them that I might not take them to the airport due to poor road conditions made me want to take the risk. I drove 60km on a 110km highway, there were so many cars in the ditch it was frightening but we took our time and the two made it to the airport with time to spare. They took good care of me “thanks guys” and they were a pleasure to drive, not all people are that nice at 4:30 am. They liked my stories (even though most are horrors) and they had some interesting views on them. The ride back was scarier, traffic going into the city started really coming in from Calgary, most of those drivers did not realize that their cars were skating on some thin but slick ice, but I survived. Then while I was paying for my fuel my gas station attendant told me they were robed the night before. “That sucks” I said because it was one of the ladies first graveyard shifts and she had a Knife put to her throat. Rough as fuck. Imagine that. Well they were happy because the police had a four minute response time and the dog got a hold of a scent and they caught the mother fucker at his house money in hand. Yes, I guess the bad mothers don’t always win.
We all need to know
This weather is making me and many people around me feel suicidal. It’s getting better as I’m writing this. Not much to say about the night except that driving conditions blew, most people were arrogant and my personal fares rocked. I do have one thing to say to a specific client, Go to the police, I believed you and it would break my heart if I ever met you again and you still haven’t done anything. There is only so much time you have before the police can’t build a case. You have my number, call if you ever need to talk. Man there is so much I wish wasn’t real maybe one day it won’t be. Keep reading people you might get tonights full story, it was sad and scary and there is nothing that I can really say about it, so back off. Yeah, you see what I mean the weathers been playing with my head so leave me a comment or else. Or else what? Shut the fuck up. Man good and evil, one speaks louder then the other but we all know which one to listen too, and if you listen to the wrong one, ha you’re going to hell. peace and please always stay civil cause………
- 36 celsius Without Wind Chill, -44 With
Saturday was hot, Not. Fuck it was beyond cold. How can I explain the cold to you people who know nothing about it? O.k tonight for example, I had a drunk fuck get in at Cowboys saloon, the bastard kept talking about how rich he was, and all I could sense from him was that he had had a few too many beers. On the way he kept spitting out the window like a man raised in a barn. He was disgusting, but huge so he got his way the fucker. Well while trying to spit out the window the drunken fool would actually spit at the window. When I got him to his west-end palace he was unable to pay me, he left me his cell phone number, it was a bunk number but at least he was out and no longer spitting in my car like a mule, dirty F1 hybrid. So the spit, what happened to it? The second it hit the inside of the window it froze like in a freezer, but in the inside of my car. I just scraped it off, while watching the son of a donkey fall in the snow. Drunken fucker wasn’t even wearing a coat, I could have left him somewhere else and the cock knocker would have been dead because of exposure within thirty minutes.
Tonight there was one surprise a young kid from Fort Mac, this kid is twenty two, makes fifteen grand as an electrician in Canada’s hell every two weeks. Instead of being some asshole junkie whore fucker like so many of those Northern workers, this kid had some style. Sure he had some obnoxious bling, like a sixteen hundred dollar pair of shades but the kid had class. He wasn’t an asshole twenty two year old, it’s nice to see Fort Mac is not all bad, oh and the dude tipped me eighty bucks, all right.
Here’s another fate story for you guys. Tonight I picked up this girl, I had some trouble actually getting to her because the apartment she lived in had two exits so we kept crossing each others paths, I almost ditched her, but we came together before I left and she made it to the club in time. Well later that night I received a dispatched call to a hotel, there I picked up a couple. The girl needed to be dropped off downtown and the man had to pick his girlfriend up right off of Jasper ave. After dropping the women off me and the gentleman got to talking about the dangers of being a cabbie, it was a good talk, when we pulled up to pick his girlfriend up she got in and woe and behold it was the girl that I almost ditched, she was like “Jacob” I was like “Corey” and I knew where to take them. What are the chances? Good, I guess.
You guys if you live somewhere where spit does not freeze to the inside of your car windows stay there, this weather is horrible, it makes it hard to believe in Global Warming. Plug in your cars if you are somewhere within this Arctic high cause if you don’t the consequences are disastrous. Stay warm peace.
The Oyster Bandit is on the loose
The Oyster bandit was in my car tonight, tonight being Thursday. This was an ordinary man that was in the company of others who had money but the bandit wasn’t paying for his oysters. He gave me a can, and someone (Cam) decided to take them. I hope all goes well with the oysters boys. What do I really want to inform all you people about? oh yes I got it, The Stink. What is the stink ? Well kids thats an important question , especially when it comes to the stink. The Stink is the smell of a prostitute I think. Whenever I drive a gentleman that has recently used a prostitute, he has a distinctive odor. The bastards smell like he just fucked a street walker. The girls themselves smell too, but the guys seem to spread it all over themselves without even realizing it. If a man enters into my car and thinks I don’t know he was just with a hooker, he’s wrong. I always know. So tonight consisted of many hookers and Johns, they all stunk like that horrible stink. I had couple of native dudes get in at 3:30 am, I picked them up just North of Stony, the first guy got in and I asked him “whats up, where we going” like I always do. He tells me ” Oh we just stayed up late watching a movie at a girlfriends house.” I figured he was smoking crack. We had to wait for his friend, the friend showed up, but man he smelled like hooker. The fuckers were scary, their faces were all blemished from the crack life and probably AIDS or HIV. I got them home and they stiffed me a buck, fuckers. There was another working women that I drove, I picked her up at the Husky gas station on 107 ave 107 st. I was paying the attendant the fifty bucks I owed him when she came flying inside the store asking ” are you for hire?” I said “yes” she was like “hurry it’s important” she kept rushing me. The clerk looked bothered, he knows about the riff raft he works on on 107ave it’s a tough area. The clerk even told me “take the cash up front”, I listened to him. When I had the money we started to drive, she told me to circle the block a couple of times, she was either looking for the John she ripped off or the dealer she owes, but man the bitch was paranoid. The street walkers in the most part are broken people. They can’t hold down a normal conversation and it’s not because they are too messed up it’s cause they don’t know anything but a dick down the throat. Rough, I know. It’s just that I try to speak to them like I do any other fare, any normal person but the hookers don’t know how to react. Their conditioned to suck dick. The awful thing about that is that there is someone out there that was able to create that behavior, that persons name is pimp, and for all I know that’s her dad. Rough, I know. So the next time you think you’re pimpin smell the air around you, does it stink like fifty dudes blowing their load in one unwashed women, no then you’re no pimp. Fuck who wants an oyster?
The pipes in my apartament are so loud I can’t concentrate
My first fare tonight was a guy who just got his girlfriend pregnant, the dude was in his thirties but wasn’t sure if having a kid was happening the way he had planned it. One thing I know for a fact is life can throw a mean curve ball, but a baby means you hit a home run.
Do you know what makes me feel old? It’s all these young kids. hahahaha
That was a good one, no I drove a young girl she was in her early twenties. I told her that Nirvana was one of my favorite bands, the funny thing was that she just found out that Kurt Cobain killed himself, she though that Courtney Love did it or it was a drug overdose, No Kurt blew his head off, and I guess that young kids don’t know about that stuff, I wounder what I don’t really understand about the past? I bet way too much.
The end of my night was nice, one of my personal fares, we got to talking and this lady is so sweet I offered her a free ride she paid anyway, I don’t know if she reads this stuff but thank you, you know who you are.
There was also the second last fare, there was four kids on their way to becoming dentists, I respect people who are able to get themselves educated, it’s not that easy, but sometimes I feel like just some asshole cabbie, well I got to talking to the guys and I found out I went to elementary school with one of them, I remember him he was a really good athlete and now he’s a few months away from being a Dentist, he read my blog, that made me feel good, A little less of an asshole cabby. Hey Greg you ever need to get a hold of me just give me a call, and if you ever need a ride you know who to call.
Ice Ice Baby
Saturday is always moving, tonight was no exception, except it was Friday. What can I say about Friday?, it’s the start of the weekend and the end of the work week. Lots of people like to get their shopping done on Friday and Saturday nights. The thing is cab drivers love to avoid real work, like carrying groceries to someones door or helping an elderly person with a walker in the trunk to their feet, not most cab drivers style. So the start of most of my weekends is Safeway calls, and helping elderly women by driving them two dollars away, never worth it financially but always morally fulfilling, but morals don’t pay the bills. I think thats why I’m stuck serving most of those types of clients by myself, all the other drivers avoid that kind of stuff like the plague. I picked up a lady that works in a half way house for handicapped males, she was at the Safeway, when I got to her she had already been waiting two hours. I told her that Mondays and Tuesdays are quiet nights, that if she wanted decent service to do the shopping on those nights. She already knew that, but the weather was impossible so she stayed home with the mentally challenged men. One of the guys she takes care of was with her, he might have had autism or something he was nice, imaginative. When we got them to their house (three bucks away) I helped carry the groceries to the door, the last load was carried by another man that worked there. The thing is while I was returning to the car from carrying the groceries inside the autistic guy was arguing with the worker guy about how some more stuff in the trunk was theirs, well the normal dude slammed the trunk and as he walked by me said “he thought some of your stuff back there was ours.” I laughed thinking that the autistic guy wanted to steal my extension cord for the block heater. I took off to return to the rest of my night, but about and hour after the drop off I see a general message on the computer screen that says “green bag left in trunk” I knew it was theirs and I laughed cause the autistic dude was right but we ignored him. I should have checked the trunk before I let the other guy slam it shut, I usually do. I never got that bag back to that house, not yet but I will.
I had a scare tonight, actually I had lots the roads were dangerous, the cold is awful to drive in, the streets are made of Ice and people don’t adjust their driving habits, they just drive like assholes. They weren’t the real scare the real scare was these two guys I picked at New City Suburbs, I watched as one taxi driver denied them, that should have been enough for me to not except them but I let them in, and the moment they entered I knew that the ride was going to be painful, I just wasn’t sure what kind of pain. They would not tell me the address another sign that they are no good. They told me that they’re from New York and going to school at NAIT. There was one guy that was talking, all he could focus on was how he wanted to hurt someone, he kept implying that it’s gonna be me, then the guy in the back asked “how many times you been robed?” thats an awful question to be asked when you’re feeling threatened, it puts you in a panic. The Panic button in the car does nothing to relax you cause the guys are right next to you and your back up is nowhere to be found. Luckily they wanted alcohol and a liquor store was still open, I though if I could just get them out to buy booze and then while they were shopping I’d ditch them. The fucker in the back stayed inside the car, the violent one went in to buy the booze. While we were waiting for Mr. Violent to come back a bum walked up to the rear door and opened it, he leaned in and offered to sell the guy in the back some weed, four bucks worth to be exact, he as like “hey man, you smoke weed, I’ll sell you this piece for four bucks, I need the money to buy a bottle.” The dude in the back wasn’t having it he just slammed the door on the bums face. Then Mr.Violent came out of the store, he was holding on to a big bag of booze, the Bum confronted him with the same story, except Mr. Violent started slapping him around. I knew that as soon as he finished fucking around with the Bum he was going to get in my car and try the same shit with me, so I started driving away with the other guy still in the back, I don’ t kick people out very often, and I’ve never ditched anyone, but my gut was telling me to get the fuck out of there, so I did. The guy in the back was like “what the fuck are you doing?” I told him “get out, the rides free your friend isn’t getting in the car and if you stay I’m taking you to the cop shop. He asked me why. I told him thats his friend is no good, the guy got out and I’m lucky nothing happened to me. But come to think of it I wonder what happened to the bum?
Lots of violent people on the streets tonight, if you did not stop for them they would kick your door or punch the window, it was scary.
Later I drove a couple, they wanted a hotel. I figured they wanted to fuck, but the lady told me that the guy just got paranoid and wanted to leave his house to go to a hotel. Strange. I figured they were smoking the crack, that causes paranoia, but no she told that they were just smoking weed and hash. What do you think? They ended up at the Edmonton Motor Inn, to smoke weed yeah right. I gave the women my blog address I hope she leaves a comment to explain that again. Hotel room to smoke weed in, hard to believe. Maybe the guy was scared his wife was gonna make it home before he was done smoking the joint with some women he met in the bar.
My last fare was to Enoch, a Native Canadian reserve, dangerous, except my fare was this little native lady, she was happy because she had a good night. The one thing that upset her was that she was going home to her man, “he’s an asshole” she told me “he has two kids with me and he just got the neighbor, a younger girl, pregnant for the second time.” I asked her how that made her feel she said that she was gonna stay with him because he won’t leave her. I thought to myself neither would I, if I got whatever I wanted from one of my two wives, Some people get to have all the fun. The funny thing was that this guy gets his mom to pay all the bills, and because they live on the reserve rent in the apartment is on 200$ that’s only $400 for one guy and two families, oh and mom pays the bills, what a fucking deal, I think that lady should leave him before he gets another women knocked up. Peace kids I’m done.
Bob Layton would Like this One
Sweet Thursday what can I say? This week was one of the coldest weeks of my life something like six consecutive days of below -30 celsius, that does not include wind chill, wind chill is the killer. Tonight was better, it snowed which means warmer weather. I drove lots of decent normal human beings but I won’t focus on them, there were plenty of the other kind. First I want you guys to know about the West Edmonton Motor Inn (sounds good already I know) o.k so I get there and the night clerk can see me from his little window at the entrance, he waves me in and directs me to where room two hundred something is. He must be the one who called these three men a taxi. All three of the gentlemen are Native Canadians, or New Nation people, all three just got into my cab after banging a whore. “Did she wear you out?” the oldest one in the front seat next to me asked the two young ones in the back. They all laughed. “Was it a good night?” I asked. The old guy up front looks at me and says “I spent eighteen thousand dollars over the past week and I have no regrets”. I bet you when he wakes up tomorrow in his scuzzy motel he’ll wounder why he needed so much crack in his system, and then he’ll realize that it’s the only way he can go on living without feeling all that regret for spending thousands of dollars on whores, gambling and of course that crack. They were all laughing because one of the younger guys got the hooker to fuck him a second time for free. They said things like “Joey was good, good enough for a freebie” and they would all cheer. Joey probably has AIDS yaaaaa. These men sounded like they do this kind of thing whenever they have their hands in someone else’s purse or wallet. They liked me, I let them smoke. They paid me what they owed at the end of the trip, it was somewhat of an eye opener.
After I dropped the Johns off I got a call for a women, Lilly or something like that. When I found her address I waited, she eventually came, when she got in she had the address written on a little scrap piece of paper. How often do you get in a cab and have no idea where you’re going at four in the morning? So she gives me the address, just off of Stony Plain Road. I can tell she is a veteran street/escort hooker, I don’t bother to ask what she does. Even though that’s something I usually ask, makes for an interesting ride, the stories they tell. So I didn’t ask her she knew I knew. So we drive to the address and when we get there the fare comes to something like six bucks, she pays me in loonies, I don’t really care because some dude is approaching the Taxi. I take the money and the women gets out to greet her new love. I watch the meeting, it’s funny because it’s so cold here in Edmonton that the prostitute starts running for the door to the apartment building but the John says “no not there” and proceeds to direct the women into a car covered in snow. It’s so cold here that the cars can’t start unless the block heater is plugged into and electrical outlet, this car is dead, but private. The two disappear to molest each other in a small frozen car at four in the morning. That’s Funny. I drove another hooker right after that, she hadn’t left her house at all this week due to the cold, so tonight she had to work to get her fix, I figured because I dropped her off at a drug dealers pad, I’ve never seen a Hooker run so fast.
Last but not least, I stopped at and A&W at 4:30 am to get myself two mama burgers for four bucks (Don’t judge me , I was dizzy hungry) I could only eat half of one, we all know why. So I finish my burger and start driving up Stony Plain when I see this young girl look at me like she needed a taxi, I missed her but I pulled around back to see if I could help her, “do you need a taxi?” I ask. “no, I’m working, wanna do some business” she responds. This girl was to young and to beautiful to be working the street corner . It was 165 street and Stony Plain Road, not a street frequented by hookers, usually. I said “no I can’t sorry” I don’t know why I apologized, but I just kept driving, thinking about how that girl did not belong there. Then I remembered my burger, the extra one, I though she might want it, if she’ s hungry so I pull back around. Of course there is a big snow removal vehicle , the city pays millions of dollars to remove the snow and the damn snow removal guy was picking up the hooker along his route. Imagine that all you Edmontonians, I saw the guy who drives the truck full of snow pick up a hooker. I couldn’t see the plate number cause as soon as he got her in he took off and all the snow in the back of the truck kept blowing at me making him invisible. Man thats insane.
Memories, the first of many
Horror stories, I got lots. To keep my reader reading I have to go back a year or two to give you people some truth, a nasty event that I witnessed while just learning the city. Here you go.
It was a snow storm, in 2006, the snow was incredible that year. I was driving up 127th street with a fare, a couple of boys and a girl. They were having fun on the way to their house I remember, I was already a kick ass navigator, we were in the North side 160th ave. We passed a bar named Richards Pub, the snow was falling hard, a Friday night snow storm. So on the way to the fares house I saw a girl frantically flagging me down, but since I was delivering a group of young drunks home I could not stop for the lost looking lady. Luckily the fare was almost home, a block away from the girl, I remember being overjoyed. “I’m gonna get that crazy looking chick” I shouted to my fare as they left my taxi to enter the comfort of their own home. I remember rushing back so if another taxi was in the area they would miss her. I made it. The chick was still standing in the snow by the side of the road flagging me down frantically. I stopped to let her in, as she got in I saw her cloths were riped and she was crying hard. “Are you alright” I asked immediately , ” I was just raped” she told me, I was new but I believed her, the tattered cloths were a good hint. She was upset. I told her that we were going to the closest Police station, She said “NO”. I was like “Why not, some predator is out there in this snow storm, the fucker should get caught”. In hind sight I should have recommended the Hospital, less emotionally intrusive and better for the physical evidence. Either way she did not want to go. It weirded me out. She said “this has never happened to me, please just take me home”. I said “come on, this guy will do it again if you don’t do anything, I’ll take you to get help anywhere for free, lets just get this guy”. Her answer “No, just take me home”. I drove her home, it was all that I could do. I was scared for her, and I did not understand why she made such a dumb choice. I did what she asked, I took her home for free. She lived close to Richards Pub.
After she made it inside her apartment, I was on the prowl . I drove back to the Bar looking for a suspect. I remember seeing some dude in heavy winter cloths walking, I rolled down my window and asked him “have you seen anything suspicious around here” the dude said “no”. Then I yelled “I just drove a girl that got raped home, do you know anything” the dude said “no” and ran away into a field full of snow, he disappeared into the storm in a matter of moments. I drove up to the pub to look for the bastard. Some older women came to my car, they needed a ride. I told them to get in. Once I knew where I was going I told the drunk old twats what had just happened. They flipped out on me “it was you” they said “you’re the rapist”. I told them “she got in my cab just like you ladies, I had nothing to do with what happened to her”. They were drunk, one of them understood what I was trying to warn them about, but one of them kept accusing me of the crime. She asked for my Id witch I showed her, she said “I’m gonna call the cops on your ass” then she phoned someone. That someone was not the cops, it was a group of big black dudes, She told them that I was trying to kidnap her and her friend. They came to back her up. Her friend tried to talk sense into the bitchy lady, but no matter what she said the women kept accusing me of raping a girl. The big black guys made sure she made it home safe. I was scared shitless, no one touched me, that girl got raped and no one really cared. That’s life I learned, no way around anything. First you can’t help then you get blamed, fuck what a world.
Downtown lets go Downtown in a tuque
Tough night. It was like everyone in the city finally payed of their credit card dept just enough to go out for the first time since Christmas and the New Year. There is also this Arctic system moving in this week, it’s suppose to be the coldest week we’ve had in Years. People stay home when it’s cold. So tonight I kicked a couple of guys out of my taxi. I’ve only done that three times in my career. The guys get in. One slams his face into the window and laughs, their sketched out. The dude who hit the window then spits in the taxi, fucker. I told them to get out right then and there. Both of them were huge. They were like “Why?” I was like “You just fucking spite in my taxi, No! I can’t take you” they got angry, I got scared. I even held my finger over the emergency button, but then I was like no I can’t be scared of these massive shit head junkies so I just grabbed my key and stepped out of the car and onto Whyte ave. Whyte was busy tonight. I flagged down another Taxi for help. The other driver was old and looked scared of everything but he stopped. That’s all that matters, the presence of others. There is strength in numbers. If I had picked those assholes up somewhere else, somewhere less public I would have had to drive them, actually stuff like that happens often but tonight I wasn’t having it. I got out and the other driver stopped and the bastards got out. I though he was going to try to hurt me but he just slammed the door very hard, so hard I can still feel the dudes rage. If I could let my rage out that penis of a man would be under my car, but I refrain. So many drunks all over the city got in their cars and drove, the cops did nothing, neither did I. How many times can I call 911 there must be others out there.
There was this older lady later on in the early morning, she got in and told me her north side address. I talked to her about how the guy behind us was ridding my ass and he might run into us if he continues driving like an shit face. She told me that she doesn’t even pay attention to the rear view mirror when she drives, that way the pressures of traffic don’t affect her. I told her about all the drunks and the angry guy that slammed my door. She could not understand why people were so mean. I told her “because we let them. We just keep looking ahead instead of all around and the assholes get away with everything” She won’t look around and take in the reality of her surroundings, neither will anyone else leaving me to be the only who cares that a very drunk person is Flying up jasper ave until someones kid dies. Then she’d call 911, if it was her son, but until then ignorance is bliss. Lucky bitch. I can’t desensitize, It’s starting to get to me, man our future is looking bleak, I mean mankinds, what well happen when the world is one big city, the criminals will control it, fuck they already do. If they didn’t we’d be on Mars. Man when will we learn.
There was also this girl it was her twenty forth birthday, she must have been really loaded because when she got in she just kept crying, because it was her twenty forth birthday, I couldn’t console her. I even told her that the reason that I was wearing a tuque was because my forehead had some serious pimple action on it. She payed me forty bucks to drive her eight bucks away, sad or not she rocked my world. Oh so did all my personal fares, thanks guys and gals, you know who you are.
Big Zits
Friday ladies and gentlemen is by far my favorite night. Except I like to party. I never get to party anymore, the money is too good during the weekends. So tonight there was Vomit. Yes this is the first time since I started writing the blog that someone tossed their cookies, Blew chunks in my taxi. I picked them up at the empress, a nice small club where scensters go. So I pick up three people. One dude sits up front and a girl and a guy sit in the back. They enjoy the ride, I can tell they keep saying how nice the leather seats feel. The seats are plastic, but hey who am I to tell them. So I get these kids home and while I’m waiting for the guy in the back to pay me he explodes. It looked funny he was just sitting there, and then all of a sudden he barfed all over himself, mostly. Then he just sat there like he had no clue that he just throw up all over himself. Then the second wave of vomit must of hit and his cheeks filled up. I was like “open the fucking door and throw up outside.” He was slow but he did it barely. The girl sitting next to him got sprayed so did the nice leather seats. I gave the kid a box of kleen-ex and some Windex and told him to start cleaning. He did, he felt bad. While he was cleaning it up he told me he was lactose intolerant, who fucking cares what he is just keep cleaning. If someone makes a mess that I have to clean it’s a sixty dollar charge, but I would rather never make my money that way. Later in the night I picked up these two young girls. One was engaged, but just broke up with her man. She was looking for someone to take home. When I got them home they payed me, but as I reach for the money the girl with a ring on her finger gave me a kiss right on the mouth. I wasn’t expecting that. I kept getting dirty text messages from her throughout the night. I understand that sometimes people do things that they don’t expect when there is alcohol involved but I looked like shit tonight, I have these huge pimples on my forehead. I guess I can’t complain.
What middle Eastern Country?
The Thursday, what can I say? My income was a joke. Ha. Who cares? So tonight I drove this guy that lived in Mexico the northern part. He knew the area that I went to school in western new Mexico. That was strange because most people that I drive have no clue about places that I lived. There was also a blind lawyer, man if there was ever a man that I want on my side it would be that guy. He might have been blind but the guy saw the world through intelligent eyes. There was another guy that lived in the middle east, a nineteen year old, drunk and mouthy. He just came back from living with his mom in Qatar. He was an arrogant son of a bitch that kind of scared me but I think I understood his anger. I lived in Riyadh the capital of a middle eastern country, when I returned to Canada no one really understood me. I had an advanced sense of cultural being. This sense was something that I was proud of but no one really gave a shit about it, this frustrated me. This kid was kind of in the same situation, I think I helped him feel better. Do you know how? By telling him that no one knows the truth about anything no matter what they think, that includes me, fuck am I ever an ignorant prick, but I’ve seen a lot of shit, but fuck I bet you the blind guy sees more then I ever could.
You’re not Jesus You Know
Tonight a Saturday night, was cold again. The cool weather keeps a lot of people at home, but not all of them. The night was uneventful at first. I drove lots of my own personal clients. They’re fun and they are probably the reason I feed my baby so well. The night got crazier the deeper it sank into morning. While I’m driving I have my fare share of time to think about everything. One thing that always seems to bother me is that even though I live in cold ass Canada there is nothing that separates my country from the USA. To all those of you who don’t agree here is my little test, imagine this. Ten Canadians standing in a row, now imagine ten Americans standing in a row. Now what are the Canadians driving? shit the same thing as the Yanks.(Albertans drive even bigger trucks then the average gas guzzler type in the world, it’s horribly bad here). What shoes are the Canadians wearing? that’s right the same sweat shop made shoes as the Americans. Not enough, one more, how about those Canadians what’s in their garbage? That’s right people, the same fast food, chocolate bar fatty fat shit as the Americans. Canada looks and feels American, except of course for Quebec, they have some culture there, and smaller cars too. Aaaa I just wanted to get that off my chest. If you don’t like what I just said go drive your massive 4by4 off a cliff, or better yet run it into another huge truck , that way you might help get rid of some of the ignorance in this nation. Alberta, my province is the worst culprit of this type of mentality and behavior in North America. Hey who cares though?
Tonight it got busy toward the end of the night. My cell phone rang off the hook. So this one time I answer it, it’s this women that I drove earlier in the evening. She tells me she’s at a bar on the east side of Jasper ave, I tell her I can meet her in ten minutes. So I cruise up to the pub, there is hundreds of people that are all hailing me frantically, trying everything for me to pull over for them, legs out some tops up (in the cold ) but I don’t pull over I promised this women I would pick her ass up. So I get there and call her. While the phone is ringing I can see people spot me from other bars, they all start running at me. There is no answer on the phone. Some of the people who want a taxi start knocking on my locked doors. I’m shaking my head no. No one cares more and more people surround my car, some start to hit it trying to get me to open the door (it’s crazy in Edmonton during the bar rush, good money though). I would not have stopped in such a place if it wasn’t for this bitch who wasn’t answering her phone. I hang up on the voice mail. “Fuck” there is at least ten to twenty people that want in the Taxi. Who do you let in? No one you have to drive away, If you even open the door there will be a fist fight within a matter of seconds, It might even involve me for being such an ass and tempting all these kids in the cold with a possible taxi ride home before they get hypothermia. One of the dudes who was being pushed up against my passenger side window, kept yelling “you’re not Jesus you know” that made me laugh. I drove away with no broken car parts. Lucky! I picked up the next girl I saw, she was standing in the -25 degree weather with bare legs and a short skirt she looked cold, (later I realized she was just angry she lost a cell phone or something) she was nice she shared the taxi with two young lesbians paid their fare and tipped me thirty five bucks, she was my best fare, “hey lady thanks” she was also a little crazy but that’s what makes my job so exciting. While driving her the lady I was suppose to pick up at the pub calls, “where are you?” I almost tore her a new one, but I was polite and told her that I had left because she did not answer her phone like a good passenger. Fuck her. I did my job, she was probably giving some dude a hand job in the can. If there was more I can’t remember.
Frozen Spit Balls
Thinking thinking thinking about what I should write about. There was the working girls, I have driven them before and written about them. The two are both still teens. I found out that one likes to sit at home and puff the refer and only the second one works at the infamous massage parlor. She also does videos, porno. That was a real eye opener, I never dreamed that in my life I would get to know a porn chick. She’s cool. Totally not what you would expect, but who is? This girl is not a drug addict, other then the refer. Weed in Canada is tolerated to an extent, prostitution is 100% legit, as long as you follow some crazy rules, like it’s in a massage place. My fare is always so good to me, meaning she takes good financial steps with me to ensure quick and prompt service every time.
I have other fares who pay me extremely well , they know who they are they call me at least once a week I love them all. Most of them are good people, hard working guys and gals who just want to get to the bar when they feel like it not when some shitty cabbie thinks it’s time to pick them up.This is how my shpeel sounds like, first I hand them a card that has my name, number and blog address them I tell them “I can’t guarantee that I’ll pick you up, but call me and tell me where you are and I’ll do my best, If I say I’ll be there I will in ten to fifteen. If I say that I can’t I won’t.” I noticed I have lots of personal fares. They all rock because they always show me the love and not one of them has ever threatened to stab me.
There was nothing much that happened tonight, there was the girl who was on her way to a mans house at four in the morning, I asked if he was her dude, she said “no he has a girlfriend, but she doesn’t care” I don’t believe that shit. Unless of course she’s a hooker. Oh to all you guys that wanna hear about Edmonton, it’s fucking cold. To all you guys who know nothing about the cold in Alberta, it’s so cold here that when I spit outside the window of my moving taxi, it freezes so fast that if I tried to hit someone they would get hit with a little frozen spit ball, (I don’t spit, not my style) but if I did I could probably knock an eye out. -35 degrees Celsius with wind chill, man I wish I lived in the Tropics.
No Vomit
Ha what a night. Made almost zilch at the start. Worked my ass off for jack shit, until I picked up this young dope dealer. I know him, I’ve been driving him since my girlfriend was pregnant. He has always taken good care of me and he has never used me to sell drugs. He only calls me for a ride home. Well, I like him no matter what he does. Call me a hypocrite. He has never once been anything but a good client that calls me when he needs a ride. He has started working legitimately, and that makes me happy, he’s young and I know he can make something of himself cause even though he is a real gangster he is also not the average gang member. I wish him the best, and I’ll probably see him soon. I gave him my blog address, I hope he isn’t hurt that I wrote about him, I would never say a thing about him to anyone in the real world.
There was a guy today, a punk, who got in and said his name was “Phil” then a big burp “Collins” that mother fucker stank. Lots of nice people tonight, these two teacher ladies that were so hot, I wonder if their grade four students have a clue how lucky they are.
Well I’m off to Vancouver with my son in about and hour so I got to cut this one short. I love you guys and gals so rock on and stay safe. Oh and yeah there was no vomit, not yet. Cross your fingers.
Would you sleep with someone who’s married?
My Saturday had very little to say. Money was O.K but the night was all around slow. Who cares? Yeah Yeah. There was this one women who was going pretty far. She gets in and right away says “Your a guy right?” I was like “Yeah” then she went on and asked me what she should do. There is this guy she works with that she has fallen in love with. “He understands me and cares for me so dearly” she starts telling me. So I’m like “whats the problem?” and she says “well I’m recently divorced, two kids and he is going to be getting a divorce and he hates his wife.” So the dude is still married and this lady still wants to jump his bone. I told her to let love take its course, not to rush the guy but if he and her are meant to be it’s going to happen naturally. She did not like my answer, you know what I should have told her, the next time you and him are together at work go down on him. That would most definitely solidify the relationship. Hahahahahahahahahaha
My last fare was a bunch of natives, scary gang member types, the Algonquin Motel. I drove them and did not even flinch, most people would be scared in that situation not me.
Oh I just remembered, on Friday night one of my fellow taxi guys had an emergency, meaning he pushed the Taxi panic button, I was across town tonight but I always help when I can . Later on in the night I saw him and asked what happened, he blew me off. Then started talking to another driver in another language. What an ass I though to myself, if I pushed the panic button I would have had a good story for all but this guy just kind of waved me away like I did not deserve to know, I walked away annoyed. Well tonight there was an accident and guess who it was, accidents suck and I hope all is well with everyone involved but I wounder if fate would have thrown the man a different pitch if he had told me the story. Mmmmm just things to ponder.
half a box of smokes
Typical Thursday night except there was almost no business, I made some money but trust me if I told you guys how much you would stop reading my blog. There was one guy I drove to Sherwood Park who tipped me twenty five buckaroos. O and there were the two musicians you gave me a half a pack of smokes, except when I looked inside it was some strange green herb. I don’t smoke cigarettes so I gave the pack to a bum at the gas station, he was pretty happy. Stinky herbs. Mmm really you guys nothing much to say. I drove a girl who worked with my brother, one thing I can say is that we live in a small world. Brother if your reading LOTs of people know you, but now they know you as the taxi drivers brother. That’s right big guy I am the man. O.k enough of my bullshit what can I say about tonight. Tonight my second biggest fare was from a bar that was having something like a wake for a student who hung himself. Sad. The two were crying in the back of the car. Young people should never do that. Alcohol was involved, awful. The thing is who is anyone to judge weather it was a bad thing. The kid did himself in, no one really will ever know why. Even if there is a suicide note what can it really say. All I know is that he left people who loved him behind, they were mourning his death by going out and celebrating their lives. Good on you. The girl I drove that knew the guy said she thinks she believes in God. I told her that I do. Why? because it makes my life fuller in a strange way. Like there is more to life them meets the “I”. Who knows? I know, no one. Thats it, so now I know and get to go on living while knowing. Knowing what? no fucking clue, get it? yeah it’s nice. Suicide is an option we have, do animals commit suicide? Sure I bet some do. I wounder if it’s the same as when humans do it? Who knows? Oh yeah God maybe. Right. Wrong. Fuck!
Loaded Cabbie
Another new post. I Got drunk again. Took another taxi. The driver was not truthful. He showed me a fake Identification, then after my interrogation he told me the truth. Two friends of mine were in the car. Was I a drunk ass, Or what? The Driver Knows.
Learn CPR trust me you might need it one day
This post is so unreal most people will not believe it that’s O.k cause I know that there is not one word of a lie in it. I’m going to start with destiny, last night I saw a group of women walking up Whyte ave, they were not dressed for the minus seven degrees Celsius. You see in Edmonton minus seven means short sleeves for some people, that is until they need a Taxi home and then they’re standing by the side of the road freezing. Wishing they had a jacket and they would do anything for a ride. Well I saw this group of girls, looking good but none were wearing a jacket, one stood out and in my mind I thought “what a dumb ass”. I called my girlfriend to bitch about how women dress to impress, and how that seems to make them really dumb looking. My level headed lady told me that maybe their jackets were somewhere else and their just to drunk to wear them. I though that was bullshit, the girls just want to look good. Well anyway later in the evening I got a flag, completely random, and as fate would have it it was the one girl I thought should have worn a coat. When she got in she had a jacket, I was wrong. I judged her before I knew the whole truth, I do that sometimes, and destiny threw that in my face I admit it, because the girl also gave me a fifteen dollar tip. I gave her my blog address, Please if you read this don’t be angry you rocked.
It was quiet tonight at first. So when I got a flag from the downtown to the north side I was happy . A couple of kids. They sat in the back and made out the whole way. I thought that the guy was in, but when I arrived at the destination she told him to go home. To bad so sad, it happens, means a bigger pay out for me. The guy got in front and told me he lived in Morinville a small town about thirty kilometers outside of Edmonton. Nice a big fare on a slow night I thought. The kid was nineteen and in the army. He was here just to visit his family. A good military man. I liked him. We talked during the twenty five minute ride, but about three quarters of the way to the kids house he started feeling sick. This is normal. I asked if I should pull over he said “no”. So I kept talking. He stopped talking back. Weird. I was on a long dark highway about ten minutes to anywhere. The guys head was hagging there like he was unconscious. I know drunks like I know the road this guy passed out funny. Then I heard him spit up a bit, so I said “if you wanted to throw up I would pull over, no problem” no response. I turned on my interior light , the mother fucker was blue. Fucking blue, no fucking joke, panic set in. I was nowhere near anywhere, there was no way to turn around without getting stuck in a ditch and my nineteen year old passenger was unconscious and turning purple. I kept driving, I started yelling “wake the fuck up you mother fucker, please wake the fuck up” nothing, I reached over and tried to find a pulse, nothing. I jerked him, I shook him hard, nothing. FUCK me. The whole time I was thinking that I can’t write that someone died in my taxi in my blog, but this guy was fucking dead or dieing. He wasn’t breathing, I learned CPR when I was a kid, I thought fuck man I’m going to have to pull over and give this guy mouth to mouth resuscitating. I was in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, scared, with a blue nineteen year old dieing or dead kid next to me. I was still moving, panicking, I was trying to wake the kid up but to no avail. I started beating on his chest about a minute after I turned on the light. I beat his chest like I knew what I was doing and then bang His eyes shot open and he started breathing, barley, his eyes were rolling around in his head. He came back, I just kept yelling at him “talk to me mother fucker, you died or something, did you take any drugs , are you epileptic , what the fuck is wrong with you?” He couldn’t really speak at first, but then he came too, he was sweating, I told him he had to go to the hospital. He said “no, look ahead were almost in Morinville” I said “dude you were not breathing, something fucked up happened to you” he did not believe me. He still was all sweaty but he knew what was going on , except he thought he was fine. Fine my ass. I told him to let me speak with his parents when I got him home. Of course the folks were not there. The guy stumbled to his house, sweaty and gross. I swear to God on my life his heart stopped in my Taxi and he did not want my help. Fuck I gave him my number and asked him to call me, or leave a comment on my blog. I hope to hell that kid is o.k. Even though he made it home, there was nothing I could do. I don’t know jack shit about Morinville. I drove back to the city worried, I radioed dispatch to tell them what happened. No one cared. Hard Fucking Core, not one word of a lie, I know this might be hard to believe but man it happened.
My last fare was a half German Half Native women, supper hot, super nice. She only wanted to go a few blocks, so I told her my story and drove her home for free, she listened to me. Tonight was unbelievable I know. Fuck, I hope you wake up tomorrow kid.
Vardenafil Hydrochloride Tablets Anyone?
What a shitty Friday night, for money a least. I made jack shit, not even two bills. There is a good reason for that, I’ll write out the night as it went. My first interesting fare was a couple of sweet ladies, one of them told me that she got fingered in the back of a taxi by an ex-con. She also told me that he was one of the most thoughtful lovers she ever had, that’s nice isn’t it. I had fun driving them. Then there was the gentleman that had prostate cancer. He told me that when you get prostate cancer your prostate stops your testicles from producing the hormone testosterone. Hence the man had issues with achieving an erection. So he had a special helper. His doctor gave him many samples of this drug Levitra. He also had samples of Viagra and Cialis. All drugs used to give you a boner (his term, but it’s accurate) , guys at least. This guy also was hurting for cash, so he takes his E.D pills to the bar with him so that women will buy him drinks in exchange for a little help for their male counter parts. Cool. Old ladies buying drinks so that their old fart husbands can bang them at the end of the night. That’s a good way to throw whiskey dick right out the window. He tipped me with a free sample, what should I do with it? I don’t want to take it because I just might explode. Awe, not a pleasant thought. Anyone if you have an erection that lasts over four hours see a physician right away, trust me I’m reading it right off the box. Then there was a guy, short fare. I shot the shit with him for a while then he told me about a blog he was reading. The blog was about a taxi driver in Edmonton, he said he heard about it from a guy in Vancouver, who thought that it was a good way to stay in touch with what’s happening in Edmonton. I told him it was me. So hey dude if you’re reading I wasn’t joking I’m the author of the Blog. Yes that sure did make me feel good. A little recognition goes a long way on a night like tonight. He made me feel almost famous. So tonight I made jack shit. The bars were quiet because most people spent their money on new years eve and the holidays, that’s understandable. So around two o clock (the bar Rush) I picked up these two dudes. They were cool kids from BC. I was happy to drive them, but on the way I got a flat tier. So instead of raking in the cash I was stuck changing a tier. FUCK! At least the two young guys I picked up helped me. Thank you guys. They were upstanding citizens, rare in a big city late at night, I got them home for free, they deserved it. I would have taken them out for a burger or something but my finances would have plummeted even lower then the bare minimum. I hope that Karma looks after them because I’m serious these kids were to good to be true. Thank you. That’s about it, no money, a flat tier and a box of pills to keep me going all night. Don’t you wish you had my job?
There is so much that I didn’t actually write in this Post
The night was good, no money, fun and relaxing, like the yoga playing on my T.V. I got a Tip from a personal client, “inhale aaaaaaaaa” something I think you have to understand. Tonight is also a night that I forgot to wear the nicotine patch I’ve been wearing on and off over the past year. I need the patch, I love to smoke. I let people smoke in the Taxi. People who smoke love it. I don’t care just show me the money. I smoked since I was 11. I stopped last year, smoke doesn’t bother me when I’m wearing the patch, tonight I took a drag of a smoke. One puff, it hurt my throat. It still hurts.
It was a good night, dead but I was able to pick up several groups of my own personal clients. The first fare was a lady who was freshly single, she was hardcore cool. The first time I drove her was to a Gothic club, she was mysterious, I’m sure I haven’t seen the darker side of her but she has one, I bet you it’s weird. Then there was a couple of teens, they use me, they go to the stripe club and back. They take the best care of me its always a pleasure driving the two. Then there was the last two teen girls, Sherwood park good fare. One fell asleep the other chit chatted.
There was the two guys who flagged me down I picked them up at the purple onion. Coke, Coke, cash and smoke, with a thousand bucks to spend on a women from 311-girls. A thousand bucks. They were racist and drunk but they paid me. Aaaaa the radio was good to me, this girl who had fetal alcohol syndrome head banged with me to the Smashing Pumpkins. It was good. Relaxing no stress.
Fire Cracker Midnight Time
Happy New Year to all the good people of the world. A crappy new year to all you evil assholes of the world. I drove lots of people who asked me to mention them in my blog. There was the girls who told me that their sister is going to get hitched and she has changed. There were the girls whose taxi ditched them and I picked them up. There was more if I missed you sorry there were at least 75-100 people that I drove tonight and for all I know no one will read my awesome blog. To those of you who don’t know I give my blog address to people who are really drunk, so I don’t expect very much out of them. I do appreciate any one who actually reads my posts. Thank you all.
How did I ring in the new year. Well Twenty minutes before midnight I got a fare, two gorgeous Brown girls, (that’s what they called themselves) they were loaded so I’m guessing they were not Muslim . They needed to get to a bar across town before the clock hit twelve. They said there would be a good tip in it for me, so I hauled ass, on some of the most slippery frozen roads in the world, but the ladies made it. Yes! fifty bones in fifteen minutes. Not bad. My next fare was from a motel called the West Edmonton Motor in, sleazy? Yes! I got there with two minutes to spear before the New Year. Waiting for me was yes, an old (36) hooker. Her Date was done with her so he kicked her out into the cold. We rang the new year in together, I drove her to a sleazier motel downtown, while she sat in the back sneaking crack hits. It was the beginning of a new year, I wasn’t going to start it by kicking someone out, so I pretended it didn’t happen. Sometimes if you can’t be ignorant you have to pretend. It’s painful, but what would be worse stopping in the middle of a slick road and demanding someone to stop what they’re already doing, plus get paid, plus try to enjoy the fireworks displayed right in front of my windshield. She did that while I commented on how nice the light show was this year, she thought I did not realize it but I did, for you guys. I dropped her off, and even though she did not want to pay me with her own money because her next date was suppose to pay she did and I did not have to wait to see the asshole whose dick she was about to suck. Yes! that’s awesome. Other then that it was a spectacular new years eve. I was given a beautiful rose by a really nice little lesbian. I did not see a drunk on the road until the end of my shift, so he must have been half way sober, way to hold out till the end.
I made a killing, so when I went to refuel I tipped the attendant ten bucks and the bum outside got another ten . I felt generous. The beggar said it was for food but we all know that crack only eats at your soul it doesn’t feed it.
You guys I write down all my horror stories to vent , it helps, but most of the folks I drive are sweet innocent good people looking for a fun time, someone to shot the shit with and someone to listen to them on their way home. It’s the best job I ever had, and the most interesting view of our worlds psyche I’ve ever seen, I love all the open and honest people I meet. They tell me about everything from their sex life to their dead wives, it really helps my life tick by with an amazing kind of stride. Peace and love to all stay safe this year and tip your taxi driver.
I’ll Call 911
If I see your drunk ass behind the wheel of any vehicle.
I had to call again last night.
The guy TRIED to run me off the road. Screw you buddy.
The police know who you are now.
For Skin Care and Treatment
A few days left in this year. A lot left in the next. What is it I want you guys to know before 2007 ends. Well I think its better to smoke crack then to do steroids. Think about it crack ruins ya, buy steroids shrink your balls and most men would rather die then live life without balls. Right? Back me up dudes. I’m just joking, no I’m not, yes I am. Whatever. Just say no.
Tonight was the last night a prominent gay night club was open to the public. The only people out getting loaded were gay and not one of them was an asshole. All my gay fares have been great. No that’s a lie I’ve had some scary gay fares but not tonight. Tonight even the dudes who looked scary screwed up were nice. Thanks gay people, party on and stay safe, or mess yourself up it’s your choice.
Do you guys wanna hear what gay guys ask me sometimes?
Once I had a guy ask me if I was cut or uncut? How come I’ve never heard a women ask that?
I once had a big Gay native man (drunk) ask me “could I just hold your penis” I said “no” but he insisted, I resisted all the way to a dirty porn store on Stony Plain Road where I told him to get out. He paid me then he said “you would have gotten a lot more if you just let me touch it”. Man I did not choose my sexual orientation and I’m sure neither did he. Who does choose it? Is it genes, or Jesus. Who Knows? but those gays and lesbians sure did throw a mighty bash tonight. Good for you.
I picked up these two young women from there. One was gay the other bisexual both sweet. On the way to their house I mentioned that I was the youngest Taxi driver in the city. The bisexual one had heard of me before, from one of her friends. Her friend had told her that I was a cute spiky haired guy, and that when I gave her a ride home she asked me to come upstairs, I guess I declined. I don’t remember the situation. No sex no drugs, those rules go for me too not just the clients.
Have a gay old time on new years everyone, I’ll be working so there is no need to get hammered and drive. Remember to call me, I’ll pick you up it’s my job, ha ha I know my job is to keep the taxi stories alive, they’re always uncut.
Reporters are so Hot in RealLife
Friday before the big end of the world party, sorry end of the year celebration. You wouldn’t know that it was the beginning of the weekend by the amount of cash I made tonight. Minimal trust me, a joke, but that’s not the only reason I drive. So tonight I drove a reporter, she asked me not to write about her so I won’t, but she better leave me a comment or else. Or else what? or else nothing.
On the road it was cold, in the streets there was snow and people who should have spent the night with their families at home. So what happened? My friend who was hurt a few weeks ago came back to work, after what happened to him, man that dude probably has a massive set of nuts. Read the older blogs if you don’t know what I’m talking about.
O.k there is this scummy ass bar around Stony Plain Road, sometimes it stays open late. I get fares out of there all the time, it’s great. Tonight though I was called there and this drunk guy ran out and asked me to wait. “No problem” so I’m sitting there waiting one, two, three, five minutes maybe more and the guy comes raging out, he slams the door to the bar. I know right then that this guy is dangerous and no good, but I was parked close to the door so he runs at the car and smashes into it. No damage or nothing but freaky. Then his blond hooker looking slut comes running out behind him screaming “what the hell you so angry at?” then this drunk spaze flings the taxis door open, almost rips it right off its hinges. I put the petal to the metal, I wasn’t about to have a psychotic, drunk, hooker licking, ass, sitting next to me in a car. I almost ran over the whore, and I almost took him out with the open door, I am happy I didn’t but I’m sure it would have gotten me some good credit with the man upstairs. I am starting to see things in a new light and it’s not a nice bright light, it’s a scary dark basement kind of light and when I feel it coming I do my best to get the hell out of there, but as we all know sometimes we have to go down to that dark place to see the light on the other side of whatever were going through. After that I just drove to the gas station, there some bum asked me if he could use my phone, he called his crack dealer. I have the number it’s 537 I’m kidding that would be wrong you dirty bloggers trying to get that dirty light out of me. Ha! never. So the bum gives me back my phone and this girl walks up to my taxi and gets in, while I’m gassing up. I open the passenger side door and while holding the gas nozzle and still pumping gas I ask “are you o.k?” “yeah I’m just cold” she tells me while counting a lot of cash. I shut the door and finish with the refueling and go and pay. Of course I forgot to buy milk for my kid cause I was in such a hurry to hear what this young women in my taxi had to say about her night. So I get in and ask “so where did you get all that cash?” she says nothing. I tell her “I’m not a cop”, and ask her if she works Stony Plain Road. She says “No, I steal cars” she was telling me the truth I asked her not to steal mine, and told her that her ride was free. She threw me five bucks, yeah! I love mmm the truth. Be good y’all I hope I survive the new year. I hope we all do………………………..happily and safely. Peace.
Morals are for Losers
My morality has changed because of the time I have spent behind the wheel of an Edmonton city hack. I used to think that people that sell themselves in anyway were bad people, but I was wrong. In the world we live in today we are expected to sell our body and soul to get ahead, no to survive. Some people sell their bodies, some push drugs, some people sell their souls to make sure you enjoy your ride home. Whatever it is we do, we waste ourselves trying to do it well. At least we should otherwise we suck at whatever we are doing. A hooker is no good if she actually wanted to suck that Johns dick. A dealer would suck if he actually aimed to be a drug dealer his whole life. A cabbie is no good unless he has a soul to show you the right way. This is how I fell, it’s out there. We all know how we feel towards hookers, dealers, thieves and murderers, but we can’t judge them, cause we all do what they do to get by, we just can’t all agree on that. If we could I would shoot every asshole on the road, and it would be alright. Right? I drove these two gorgeous teens tonight, they were proud to be hookers, and yes they were teens, and proud hookers. How does that work? It doesn’t dose it, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. They were one of my best fares in a long time, they gave me beyond a good tip, so because they showed me love I respect them. I wonder if their dad does or their boyfriend, I can’t care it would make me even more crazy, and I’m half way to the loony bin already. Good thing there is all those Rabbits and Aussies out there to keep me on track.
French Fuck
Where to start, o yeah the asshole. Hahahahahah, no I’m sorry that came out wrong the piece of shit. So I was doing my usual loop around Jasper ave when I got a flag. It was an old man standing by the side of the street. I pulled over. The guy was at least fifty, I though, great this is gonna be a piece of cake. Then the guy opens the back door but he doesn’t get in, he just stands there with the door open staring at a guy pucking or coughing up a lung behind some cars. I understood right away “close the door I’m not taking him” I said with some authority, but this old coot said “he’s fine, he’s fine” in a French accent. I was like “no he isn’t close the fucking door before he gets in.” The old fuck then pushed the drunkard in the front seat. Fuck was the only thing I could think, I kept it to myself. This guy was in the car. When someone gets in your taxi that you don’t want there is three ways you can get him out. The first drive them to their destination, it’s also the easiest. Two, you can try to use physical force, this is not so easy and it dangerous. Three, you can call for back up, something I’ve never done, cause I’m young and dumb. I think I’m invincible, but I know I’m not.
The dude in my car is done, he is so drunk he doesn’t know up from down, he can’t even pronounce the name of his hotel. Good thing the old fuck who let him in the car mumbled something about 69th street and 118ave. The Inglewood inn, dirt. So I’m making my way there with this low life son of a cunt when he starts demanding me to hook him up with a hit of crack. I have to explain in French that I am his taxi driver and I am not the guy that offers hits of crack. I say “relax man calm down, were almost there.” The cock sucker starts to flip out waving his fists at me, I moved out of the way and told the mother fucker to just relax, someone in his grimy hotel will hook him up with drugs, I am just a taxi driver. The fuck face did not understand me, so I told the guy the same thing in French. He relaxes. Then a minute later he’s on me again about me giving him a hit of crack. This dude is violent, it’s not easy to deal with a psychotic drunk Quebecois that does not understand anything, you can’t just kick him out because someone like that well try to hurt you as soon as you tell him to get out. This type of person is usually under the influence of drugs and or alcohol. I just kept driving him even though he was making me fell nervous. I informed dispatch that I had a suspicious mother fucker in my car, I asked them to keep an eye on me. That made me feel safer, but not much, things could go wrong in a couple of seconds, this guy might have a knife. I got him to the Inglewood inn he paid me and then just sat there with this threatening look on his ugly mug, and two clenched fists, waiting to hurt me for no fucking reason other then he’s a crazy douche. He eventually got the fuck out, thank God, no violence. I radioed dispatch and told them the story. After that I returned to the club where the old man flagged me down. I waited there knowing the old shit eater would be smoking, he came out. I confronted him, I said ” That mother fucker is lucky he is not in jail, next time your crack head friend needs a cab tell him to sober up, don’t you dare do what you did to me.” Then I returned to my car where there was a couple of good people waiting for me. The old guy ran up to my window to try to talk to me, I told him “fuck off .” He said “my friend is not a crack head.” I told him he doesn’t know his friend then and drove off with the couple. I felt good about telling that old blow job of a man how I felt.
The whole night was filled with those types of misfortunes it seemed. I was wondering why. When at the end of the night I got a call to a gas station, I was gonna ditch it thinking it was bunk. I went and checked. There was these two Innocent girls there and a guy. As fate would have it I had driven these two girls last week. They were nice and I liked them so things began to look up. The boy was waiting for another taxi even though he knew the two girls. I told all three to jump in. On the way there the two sitting in the back seat got their freak on, innocently, you know like young teenage love type stuff, no fucking no blow jobs just kissing. It was fun because they were people I knew. They were people that appreciated a good taxi driver, they ended my night in a good way. God bless them and all the other good people I hauled around tonight.
Fuck the shit that comes out of Edmonton’s asshole. This job is gonna kill me, but I fucking love it.
Smile you got a Photo Radar Ticket
I could write about the schizophrenic lesbian who was on amphetamines, or the crazy autistic man I got stuck in traffic with, or the sweet young lady that had thwarted a bunch of crazy armed lunatics from doing a home invasion on her house while her kids were in the basement but I won’t. I am going to tell you people what I hate as a driver in a city. I hate photo radar. Our cops sit and jack off while some seamen splatter of a human being sits in a van and takes pictures of speeding cars. I would rather get pulled over. What are the chances a cop would pull me over for doing 10km over the limit on an empty road. I hate photo radar. How about people who have lots of money does a photo radar ticket effect them, no. They just laugh at all the people who are actually trying to get by. Fuck photo radar. Other then that it was a great night. Almost death to all photo radar operators, almost, like maybe a swift kick in the ………………………..
O.k don’t hurt them, but I don’t like them even if they are just doing their jobs, hiding and waiting to get you. Hahahahahahahahahahah evil bastards.
Cocaine in Edmonton is alway’s cut Fuck we’re nowhere near…………
What a great beginning to my working week. I had a great night, financially at least. There wasn’t much for stories though. I did deliver not one, not two, but three stool samples this morning, not bad for a twenty five year old hot sh0t.
Earlier on in the night I had my only good fare, three club people, they went to West Ed. The mall is a shitty place to party but fuck me who am I to judge the inside of the clubs. On the way there the three seemed so perfect polite, nice, mmmmm innocent . I liked them and I think they liked me so I gave all three of them my telephone number. Later on in the night I got the call they all needed a ride home, I told them that I won’t make it its to far away, they said that’s fine could I be there at a quarter past two. A time call, something that I just don’t like to do but I liked these kids so I said I’ll be there. They were punctual as hell. When they got in I didn’t smell the typical alcohol smell, but they had this different attitude about them, not so innocent. I’ll let you readers guess what they were on. That’s right guys and gals the same old shit every other young hipsters is on. That’s O.k I still thought they were sweet, even their nineteen year old boyfriend was cool, I just don’t understand why everyone is on drugs. No one smokes weed anymore, no way that’s for chumps I guess. After that I was driving these young university scenesters, they were way to innocent, boys too, I think they came from some real good homes cause I don’t think that they even used bad language. So while driving them I saw this young girl get kicked to the ground by this asshole of a guy, as he crossed the street in front of us we all told him he was an asshole, I even think that we would of gotten out to protect this womans honor if it wasn’t for the fact that the bitch got up and hobbled hurt to his side like he was her knight in shinning armor. That made me sick, you would think that abuse like that would change a persons mind but no the bitch is probably sucking blow off the guys dick as we speak. What do you do? I also drove a famous drummer, I don’t think he was what he said he was but another musician did say he was as good as gravy, I know that did not make much sense but there was nothing really good to write about, other then that girl landing on her face. stay safe and remember if he puts you in a jar it ‘ll make me happy.
who Cares?
got DRUNK TONIGHT , in laws are in town to help with the baby, I Love them, Took a taXi home driver was no good, I am A magnificent taxi driver yeah . what a day off .I am on †he radio
.
Who is the Man?
I called in to a local radio station and left a recording about how there is no check stops this season and they have been airing it. Yeah! I am the man.
Who needs you Anyway?
Saturday is a great night, when you make lots of money and none of your friends get hurt. Yeah! I’m happy tonight you guys. I’ve been having strange recurring dreams lately. I’m in a psychiatrists office crying about how my buddies stabbing, and all the other bullshit is starting to effect me, and then all these people I don’t know start showing up. I think that they are all people that I’ve given rides to. There is so many different faces, they all think I’m nuts. I probably am. The psychologist does little to settle my nerves because I wake up too upset to fall asleep. Stress is shitty, but I guess most of us people have to deal with it one way or another. I love to drive the taxi, I love to act like the best cad driver, no the coolest cad driver for whoever it is I’m driving. I am whatever I have to be and I am good at it. The best part about it is I know who I am, and I like myself, except I wish I was rich and drove a taxi for the fun of it.
So Saturday, mmmmmm what happened. It snowed, and that means it was hard to drive around without having problems in traffic, but the snow stopped after the traffic was gone. Its always like that, Ironic. I drove a couple to a first responder party. I like fire fighters, they usually know that the cops aren’t doing a good job at policing the city because they have to go out and save peoples lives. Lives that would not be in danger if the police actually did some real crime prevention, instead of jerking each other off. I don’t know. I haven’t had the chance to drive any cops home in a long while, I’m guessing it’s because a drunk cop can drive himself home without any fear of criminal repercussions. There are no check stops this season, I think that’s wrong but who am I to judge our shit head police chief, he lowered crime by seven percent, and all he had to do is ignore it wow, no wounder our mayor likes him so much. To bad the mayor probably doesn’t go out at night to often. Hey I bet you the chief doesn’t either. Hahahahahahah who cares, Fuck I do. To bad. What else, what else. O there was this women who I picked up around 140ave and Victoria trail, I saw her flagging me down frantically but I had a fare so I dropped him off and hurried back to pick this women up. Clerview is a dangerous area for a young girl to be walking alone in. I got back to her, she was still walking which was awesome for me cause I was far from any other fares for sure. So this chick gets in, she is ecstatic to see me, she was scared half to death because her gut was telling her to get the fuck out of there. She tried calling a cab company, but of course all lines were busy. Not surprising. I asked why she was in the neighbourhood. She said “I was at the Oil City when a guy I like asked me to come over, so I jumped into a taxi and forty dollars later I ended up at his front door, but when I knocked there was no answer and the taxi took off, so I started walking”. I told her she was stupid to be stuck out in North east Edmonton without any friends near by, I also told her the lucky guy she was on her way to see should be shot. Then she said “Your not like the other taxi driver I had on the way here, that guy made me sit up front, which I thought was weird, but I did it any way, he kept talking about how good I looked, It crept me out”. I told her that if she felt that way that she should have reported him, all you have to do is get the number off the side of his cab and call the company he works for and they will look into it, he might be a predator of some sort. She agreed. I got her back to the Oil City for twenty five bucks, fifteen dollars less then the other guy charged her, he was a scam artist to, she should have reported that, he ripped her off and got away with it. He got forty bucks for the same ride I gave this girl, but I got twenty five plus tip. Fuck me, most of those mother fuckers get away with that shit, its stealing you know. Honesty doesn’t always pay but at least if I get a knifed in the back I know I’ll go to heaven. The other guy won’t I hope. I don’t want to see him there, thief.
Later that night I got a personal call to a nice west end hotel, the Mayfield except when I got there the bitch ditched me, Cunt. Fortunately there were these two other girls who pretended to be the girls that called me, I knew it wasn’t them but I went along with their charade, They came from Fort Macmurry, they were hot, but a little sketchy but in a good way. They asked me not to turn to the fare, they only needed to go to the store for some juice. I didn’t push the button and the two immediately loved me. They were dirty ladies, but in a good way at least I pretended, for all I know they worked on the rig pigs out there if you get my drift. They were on some Ziggy star dust, they paid me forty bucks to go to 711 and back, and they made me laugh cause they had a pretty raunchy sense of humor, I like that. A lot of anal jokes, something you don’t expect that out of a tiny chick.
My last fare was a women I’ve driven before, I don’t like her because she is slimy and sleazy she was with a guy. I dropped her off, but he wanted to keep going. He said Louise Estates, I started moving in that direction when he changed his mind, he needed me to drive him up this west end ally. I know the ally, Crack dealers house. He made the phone call. By the way he was talking to the guy I knew it was his second trip there tonight. The dealer said that the last time they met my fare shorted him twenty dollars. My fare said that that was impossible he counted the money himself, it was all there, the crack dealer insisted. My fare eventually broke down and said that he would repay the twenty dollars but he needed to score some more. The baby killer said that he would have to call back in five minutes and hung up. My fare asked me if I would wait, I said “no, I don’t make money standing still, we can wait for him as long as I keep my wheels moving on the road”. I started driving he called the dealer back to find out where he was so maybe we could meet half way, my fare got a busy signal. I told him it was a sign he should just go home and sleep, not tweak out. I turned toward his address without his permission, then he agreed, he said ” I know I paid the full amount the last time, that mother fucker is working me, yeah take me home”. On the way to his house I asked him if he owns his house, he said “yes”. I told him that if he kept smoking that shit he would loose it in a couple of months. He knew I was right. Then I asked if he has any kids. He said ” I have custody of my one son, I’m a single father”. That freaked me out. The guy was cracked out and he was a little kids father, fuck. I asked how old his son was, he said “seventeen”. I let out a sigh of relief. A seventeen year old can at least get out of a bad situation like that. The guy told me that he had relapsed last week, but he did not have a problem. I said “You relapsed after being clean, and now your going back for more and its only been a week, buddy you are in more trouble then you think, get out now or you’ll loose your house and kid in a month”. He knew I was right. He said in a sad voice ” I know, the last time I did it I sat in my closet, scared that my kid was gonna catch me, I stared at the closet walls for hours, I was fucked”. I told him “I may only be a twenty five year old punk, but I’ve seen what that shit does to anyone that touches it, stay off of it and your life will go right back on track, I was a user once, until my kid was born, I’ve been clean for almost two years, Ive made some mistakes but If I can do it a dude who raised a seventeen year old can do it too.” He told me that I was wise beyond my years because he was gonna try to clean himself up. I’m pretty sure he took my talk to heart because he said he was going to sit a home and watch Heroes the T.V show he bought on DVD instead of the closet wall. We laughed he tipped me ten bucks , I saved him hundreds just for the night , if he stays clean I saved him thousands and if he does not go back to that lifestyle I think I might have saved his life.
Drug Bust Mommy
Friday night came and went. No money no problems. Fucking boring. I got some decent stories. First there was the women I picked up earlier in the evening. She flagged me down on a 109st and Jasper ave. When she got in she told me to get her to the west end on the double. I asked what the problem was. “Well I just got a phone call from my seventeen year old son, he told me that there is ambulance outside” she answered. My first though was that the womens husband had a heart attack or something. So I asked “where is your husband?” She said ” o well I guess he is at home.” I asked if he was alright. She said “yes he’s fine. It’s my seventeen year old, he has friends that are probably to blame.” I started to paint a picture of the situation. I figured that the teenager might have some issues with some nasty types. So I asked her “does your boy do drugs?” She was an honest lady and she told me the truth “I think so, his head hasn’t been screwed on too tight lately” she paused took a breath and sighed then said “we tried to tell him those other boys were no good, but he just wouldn’t listen. Now there is and ambulance and some police cars waiting for me to get home. Fuck I was at my companies Christmas party. This was the first Friday night I had left the house in years.” I felt bad for her for a second then realized that the reason that the kid was in trouble was that the parents did not want to keep the bad apple on a tight leash. Just let the kids do as they please and things well work out for the best. Well she now knows that’s bullshit. I told her that the city is filled with young punk gang member who don’t give a shit because they don’t have to, their parents don’t care and give them way to much freedom. She said ” I know you’re right” I told her to get the kid to take a drug test if it’s positive for drugs (weed is not a drug) then give him the option to throw the habit, or live the street life on Stony Plain road. She told me “I already tried to get him to take a drug test but the little bastard ran off”. I said that the cops are at your house for a bad reason maybe a drug test will be a good thing that comes out of it, she agreed. She got to her house the cops were everywhere she tipped me ten bucks and went in to her home to face the music. If you the reader have any kids don’t let them run loose in the big city or else you know what will happen.
As I was writing this blog I got a phone call it’s 6:30 am some dude at a west end address called me looking for a half for sixty, I told him I’m done work and that I drive a taxi I don’t push blow. He said that his name is Chris and that I can trust him because I know him, He sounded fucked up. You Guys life is fucked up in many ways so fuck doing blow and live life, but if you need chemical help ask your doctor, he’ll fuck you good I promise.
There was also this girl she is under eighteen and already has two kids and a third on the way, when I dropped her off she said she did not want to pay, then she got away but fuck I’m to tiered to write her story today so come back tomorrow and I’ll write you the rest OK. O I got a good picture of a bad ass taxi accident.
Stupid, No No, Ignorant Yeah
Another Thursday, sweet sweet Thursday night, what to write what to write. First off I need to get this off of my chest, Edmonton is a viciously violent city. To those of you who do not agree I’m right you are Ignorant. There is this line in a Puddle of Mud song, “Ignorance spreads lies how much can money buy?”. MMmmmmmm in this economically booming city lots, fuck lets just say way to much. I just hope that all the high school teachers out there in this fine shit hole of a city know that. Saying that Edmonton is not dangerous is like saying that having unprotected sex with someone you know nothing about is safe. Saying that Edmonton is a safe place to live because some cop told you that it is, is like saying that crack is good for you cause some pimp told me that its good for me. Fuck I had an ignorant women in my car tonight. She made me angry because aaaa fuck it forget her she is going to learn sooner or later, I really just hope she is not a teacher or anyone important. Ignorant aahh.
Tonight was good other then that. I had a young mom in my car, she was a brand new mom. She was having problems though. Her father was forcing her out of the house which she shared with him and her newborn baby boy. That sucks, she was a cool young girl. I asked about the father, she told me he was an abusive asshole and she had to leave him because he was beating her while she was pregnant. I asked her if he was paying child support, she said no. I of course asked why, she told me that he had moved back to the east coast. I told her to get a lawyer and get the piece of shit, and make him legally responsible for his kid. She said that she tried legal aid but they told her that there is a cost involved and it would have to come out of her pocket. Fuck, that’s not a big deal I told her that there is a place at the University that deals with cases for free. As long as you have a solid case they will help her. She got excited, actually so did I, her littler baby deserves a decent home. He dose not need an abusive man out there knocking other girls up while not dealing with the consequences of his past, fucking bastard. We live in Canada one of the wealthiest countries in the world why does this shit happen? Lady if you are reading my blog make sure your babies daddy is faced with the law, it can’t do very much if you don’t help it.
And all you high school teachers try not to spread backward bullshit ideology you heard from an old policeman neighbour or something to our young generation, if they are taught to think the way a women in the back of my car was thinking, girls might not ever realize that whether they like it or not they are ticking time bombs, shaped like hour glasses dropping little pieces of themselves once a month until of course nature take its course and a new little person is meant to be, you guessed it in this world for a long time.
Learn to Swim
Saturday night was fantastic for me in the beginning. I drove a lot of my personal clients I love them all they all keep me safe , they are all safe in general. So many nice people. I even picked up four homeless people, I’ve seen all of them before. There was two guys one of them was ex military, he was originally from Newfoundland. He told me he has been homeless for seven years. He talked a lot. He said things like I’m an alcoholic, I’ve traveled across the country seventeen times. I believed him. I asked why he doesn’t get a real job, get a house. He took offence to that, panhandling in -20 weather is work ya know, that’s true. I told him I meant like get a real job and get a wife have some kids. He then told me that his wife was killed in a car accident eight years ago, she was careering his child, hence the life change. Good reason. He was thirty four.
There were two girls in the back seat with a guy, all their homeless gear was so bulky I could hardly see their faces. One of the girls was sixteen the other was seventeen, they to were chronic boozers, even though they weren’t old enough to buy booze. The sixteen year old girl tripped me out, her parents lived in Edmonton, her dad was living in a trailer and mom had a basement suit somewhere. She did not want to live with them. I’m guessing they were heavily sedated people. This sixteen year old girl is someone that is visible in the downtown core of E- town, Remember that shit when you see homeless people. The twenty seven year old in the back only talked about how cool I was that I picked them up and let them smoke cigarettes in the car. I drove the four of them to an isolated place south of 23rd ave. It was -20 and the four were going to drink ten beers and half a bottle of wine in a tent in the middle of nowhere. That’s is insane, I cut their fare in half cause they were cool and homeless. Sixteen years old, can you imagine, if not take a look outside.
That stuff is nothing compared to what happened to me and my last fare. Nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life is like what happened to me tonight. I picked a girl up around 118th ave and 124st. As soon as she told me the address I turned up Smells like teen spirit by Nirvana, I was rude to the girl I didn’t even ask if she minded , I didn’t care it’s one of my favorite songs. When it ended I said I was sorry I just had to listen to it loud. She laughed and told me about her night . Bob Marley was on the radio Jammin, I was commenting on how I liked that song too when a fellow cab driver pulled up next to me, he looked distraught. As I was moving I opened the window, the other driver had his hand on his neck, he started yelling I’ve been stabbed, I’ve been stabbed. Then he took his hand off his neck and I saw the blood. Fuck for real, this was bad. He still had someone in the taxi, I guessed it was the stabber. I told my fare we have to follow him, she agreed. He ran red lights and he was moving at dangerous speeds I could not keep up with him without putting the girl in the back seat in danger. Fuck I lost him. While I was trying to keep up wit him I was trying to radio in to dispatch. O, this other taxi driver worked for the same company I do. He is actually the only other cab driver that ever acknowledged me as a taxi driver, he’s my friend and I lost him, dispatch never answered me, that’s bad, very bad for our safety. I had to phone 911 for the third time in two weeks . When was the last time you phoned 911? Its scary every time , who cares though 911 put me on hold, fuck the police. So my dispatch would not answer me 911 had me on hold and I had a fare in the back seat while I was yelling into the radio microphone for help, and waiting for 911 to help. What would you do? Scary for real. I drove around downtown looking for where he went, Then 911 answered I told them the story over the phone while driving around like a maniac looking for my buddy who just got stabbed and was nowhere to be found, Then dispatch came back from smoking a fat ass joint probably and asked whats up, 911 was still on the phone and the chick that was in the back wanted me to drive her somewhere else, I kicked her out on Jasper ave. “”can I change where I wanna go” fuck you bitch a dude just got stabbed you saw him bleeding and you wanna pick up some coke somewhere else, catch another cab.Fuck off. I kicked her out next to another taxi a least, she got in. I kept on looking. 911 got a hold of dispatch and no longer needed me, phew. I screamed at dispatch for being assholes and not doing their job, Its true what happened was wrong, they should be there to help all the time. Fuck them. Five more minutes went by when they told me that the cops found the driver he was with the girl at the Royal Alex hospital. I drove their as fast as I could. I was scared, this was one of the worst situations I had ever been a part of. Scared for my friend, all I could think about was all the blood, his face his neck, the hand that he waved at me. aaaa, and no one to help him, but he made it to the hospital with the culprit. When I showed up there the girl was handcuffed next to my friends running taxi, he was in emergency, what happened no one could tell me. The girl in handcuffs was like fifteen , I heard part of her story, she said there were others that did it. Fuck her I saw her eye’s she was on drugs she wasn’t even bothered by what happened, Fuck that she is shit, even if it was not her she knew it was coming. Little twat. I wrote down my statement for the Police, who were nonchalant. Fuck them, If you don’t care about that shit then you shouldn’t be a Cop. One of the cops said its our fault because we don’t have a 500$ barrier in the car. Like that’s my choice, some dude makes a lot of money off me every week, he owns the car not me I have no choice, it’s not actually my car, it’s a millionaires car. And he did not become a millionaire by protecting the drivers he did it by watching his fucking budget, so coper eat a dick. Later I was having a smoke outside and I was watching the cops park my friends taxi, it was a crime scene so it was suppose to be done right. The cop just ran it up the curb, bottomed it out and almost blew a tire. Then while he was trying to turn the computer off, a bum who just left the hospital jumped in and told the cop his address, The cop just looked at him the dude wanted to go home, he jumped in the first cab he saw. That made me laugh, the dude destroyed evidence for sure. Contamination. The cop then told him to get the fuck out of his crime scene, the drunken man finally realized that the guy in the front seat was a police officer. Holy shit. Tonight was so rough that I wanted to pray for so much rain it washes humanity away, except those that I love and the good people of course, they are all welcome in my magic boat when that happens, but until then take some swimming lessons.
Green Eyed Monster
Tonight was miserable for most of the night. It’s so cold in Edmonton, -20 not including the wind chill. Fuck. I drove a lot of people, that’s a lie tonight consisted of about fifteen fares, 400km. Most of the mileage was wasted looking for my next customer. The University kids are all studying for their finals. I miss school. I did drive some regulars, Gigglers I love you, You took good care of me. Bank girls I love you to, and I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you guys up from the bar, get some sleep though or you’ll end up in jail or worse. I drove to the military base with a couple of twins. The strange thing about the twins was that one was in the army and the other hated it and did not understand why his brother joined. They both got a Baconator at Wendy’s,the same thing hmmmm. They were good people either way.
The shooting last night, was some girl, not my gas station attendant friend. Thank God or don’t. We all know God doesn’t care till we die. Then who knows, o ya he does. Hahahahah.
My last fare was a doctor, smart lady, I could tell, even though I did most of the talking. I picked her up at the hospital at four thirty am and she was going to the the airport. That’s a first for me.(From hospital to airport different) I started talking about how sometimes I get jealous of all the people who get to party and play while I work. I work to support my family, I got a family I’m only twenty five but I support my peps. Then the doctor lady told me that her father is in the hospital with many serious health problems. None of his children live in Edmonton, they all just fly in to see him all the time, like its no big deal. She told me that he tells her that having children was the best decision he ever made. That made me feel less jealous. I can see where he is coming from, every time my little man looks at me with his sixteen month old eyes, I am so proud. I also realized that the people that go out and party like there is no tomorrow do it because they don’t have those loving eye’s at home reassuring them that there is another day so you better be there sober, not hung over and smiling like you just found a four leaf clover. Sorry kids I got sentimental on you asses, If you don’t like it go fuck yourself. Kidding. No I’m not.
Lights Out
Gang members killed a women, she was shot to death outside of a Gas station. I just heard the news on T.V. O boy. They blew her head off in a car. Yon know the rest.
Red Tape
Thursday, sweet sweet Thursday. What can I say? Tonight I made two hundred and sixty bucks, not much, but nothing to complain about, for eight hours of work on a Thursday. You know tonight I wanted to write about delivering hot club girls high on blow to the Bank and back, or a bum women who lives in an abandoned taxi at the lot where I work. Sure the girls over paid me handsomely (thank you ladies, you know who you are) and sure sleeping in a car in the dead of winter in Edmonton is deadly, but tonight I have something different to say. Love your gas station attendants, tip them and never disrespect them, unless their assholes. The reason I’m talking about gas station attendants is because tonight as I was cruising toward my favorite Petro Can I was startled to see a few cop cars in the parking lot and several on the road blocking traffic from all directions. I had no way to get in. You see the people that sell me gas are usually like me , they work the night shift, and we like to shoot the shit about our night. Well all those cop cars scared me, and the fact that I couldn’t get in there to see what happened annoyed me. I wanted to see my gas station lady. She is a little older but tough and funny, someone I like to see at the end of my night. I drove around for a while, non of the cops would give me answers about the situation. So I fueled up somewhere else, somewhere were I fill up sometimes, I like the lady and dude that work there too, it’s just a little out of my way. There I told them that I think that one of the clerks at the Petro Can might be hurt. The people who heard my story were intrigued, I thought they might have more information about what happened, but they had nothing. I drove the car back to the lot at the end of my shift, I parked my cab next door to the homeless lady. I was worried about my friend, when another Taxi driver pulled up, I asked him if he knew what was going on on a hundred and fifty sixth street and ninety fifth ave, He told me it was a gang shooting. It was over drugs, people were hurt, not only at that location, the gun fight moved around. Thank God I’m pretty sure my friend survived, I hope. Gangstas quite that God awful lifestyle and start driving a cab it’s great fun, its exciting and all the money you make is yours. No one will ever shoot at you, well you never know. Maybe do what you want, because like Freddie Mercury sang “It doesn’t really matter to me……any way the wind blows”. Stay safe out there people.
A Rookies Welcome
Another cold night in the city of Edmonton, but tonight is a Wednesday night. I don’t work the hump day. In my opinion only the rotten apples have to come out in the middle of the week, the good ones stay at home with their families. Tonight does have a certain chill in the air and snow, fuck the snow, but it dose remind me of a crazy fare I had on a Wednesday night. This Wednesday in particular was two years ago, it was during one of the biggest snow storms of the year. Scary! Ya. I was a dumb ass rookie. I was just begging to understand the laws of physics of taxi driving. Like think about this? who goes out during a big snow storm. Mmmmmmm, you got the addicts, their looking for a fix. You got the boozers jonzing for a drink. Whores looking to keep warm and dogs needing to take a shit.
So I’m out their getting use through the inch and a half of snow falling every half hour, trying to make a living. Fuck, I was having fun. Until, of course the Hump day Bump came along. I was driving up Calgary Trail south of eighty second avenue. There is a pretty well known club there, I was looking for a flag, it was closing time. Then I saw a women flag me down through all the falling snow. I slam on the brakes, slide, and stop. I then see this girl get a right jab, bang straight in the face. Fuck, I’m a rookie I watch as she starts stumbling toward my car, but right as her bloody face becomes clearly visible through the snow and foggy windows she turns around. “Don’t go back” I yell through the slowly opening window. She doesn’t hear me. The man starts to pummel her. I get out of the car, I yell for him to stop. The two drag themselves toward the entrance of the bar, I want to pursue but I can see two mother fuckers jumping into my car. Fuck. It’s parked in the middle of Calgary Trail. I jump back in. There is a Big fat Native man sitting in the front seat and a little white dude in the back. I tell them I need to help this women, that man is kicking her ass. I watched these to assholes run right by them I knew they didn’t give a flying fuck. As I start to back up, the native dude says ” ya o.k I got a knife” then proceeds to pull out his weapon. “Fuck, put that shit away and get out of the cab” I scream. Then the native dudes pulls out five or six hundred bucks. “O.k then where are we going?” I ask, I’m back in business. I was also a dumb ass newbie. ” Speaking of money” the native dude says turning to the man in the back seat. The man says nothing. He is awesome looking. He’s dressing in a spring denim Jacket and jeans. Its cold in Edmonton, it was cold that night. Also he was wearing a pair of sunglasses late at night, and the best part about them was they were missing a lens. He looked priceless. “Money?” the native man said again, then turned back to the dude and slapped his spaced out face with the four hundred dollars he was holding. The man all of a sudden reached into his pocket and pulled out a ATM card. “Stop at the next gas station” the oversize stinky native man demanded. I did as I was told, I was a little bit frightened and a little bit intrigued. The two entered the Gas station. Only the Native dude came back, he had the bank card. I always wounder what happened to the other guy, it was an awful night. The Native dude and me moved on. He stunk, bad. He told me a Millwoods address, fuck, Millwoods difficult to navigate in on a bright sunny day. Now cold and snowing like a sun of a bitch we looked for that address. On the way there the Native man confessed to me that he is a Spiritual leader, a shaman of sorts. To this day I believe him. We get to the address. Two new people get in the car, a girl and her dirty old big bent nose pimp. I could tell she was a hooker, a street walker, they have a distinct smell. USED UP. fuck. She was fucked up on something. They sat in the back and the stinky shaman got up front with me. The two do a drug deal, my fare, the spiritual leader hands the pimp over all his money. I mention something about saving some for me, I get ignored. I was still new I wanted to make a good impression to all my clients, even the garbage ones. I kept quiet.
It was around this time that the young princess in the back started convulsing in the back. She started yelling that her head was going to explode. The way she was twitching I was getting read to duck and cover while maneuvering a Ford Crown Vic through a freshly snow covered street. “Stop immediately, I’m a shaman, I can fix her just stop the car” the shaman cried out with a crack haze conviction. Then she started yelling “no fuck off, it was those mushrooms you gave me they did this. Its been happening all night.” I stop the car, the Shaman makes his way to to the passenger side door. He opens it and tells the girl to lie down on the seat and stick her head out the door. She listens like he’s her Shaman. I imagine him slamming the door on her head. He’s crazy, but he doesn’t he grabs her chin and her forehead and he twists, actually he jerked hard. I gasped because I thought he broke her neck, so did the pimp. She got up though, good as new. Phewwwwwww. Scared me half to death, good thing he did not slip on the snow, it was still coming down hard, we were leaving fresh tracks. The pimp and his head broken whore got out on the south side, me and the magical crack smoking, mushroom Shaman kept going. He gave me an address downtown off of a hundred and seventh avenue. I had no Idea how bad of a neighborhood it was yet, remember I was still new. Then he kept asking me if I did dope, I said “nope.” When we got to the apartment complex where he was going to, the snow subsided, I could see a few feet in front of me. This made me happy and so did getting this guy home. Except upon arrival the at least two hundred pound man told me he had no money. The fare was fifty five dollars, it was made driving in the worst snow storm ever. Then he pulled out a huge hand full of dried up mushrooms, presumably the ones that got that crack twat sick. “No I don’t want that I want my money” I told him. Then he tried to bribe me with one more hand full telling me I told him I do dope. Lies all lies, this fucker used me like an asshole and he was going to get away without paying. Remember I was still stupid and naive. The shaman left me that night with a good story , a bunch of fungus crumbs that messed up the floorof my car and a shit stink that I couldn’t cover up because I think he actually took a dump while he was in the car, Fucker. As I watched him waddle his fat ass away, I thought how cool it would be if he tripped and fell, and then he did, no just joking but that would have been great, no he overdosed on a couple of eight balls of crack later that nigh. Well maybe. Fuck. Maybe he thought about me and cleaned up. AaAwwWww. Who Knows?
Rape Me Why Don’t Ya?
I’ve been driving a taxi for almost two and a half years. I am currently driving in Edmonton, but I started driving in the Rocky Mountains. Banff was where I started. The small tourist community has lot of crazy stories, here is one. One day after a long night of partying I woke up to a telephone call. The man behind my sleep interruption was a Constable. He asked if he could see me at my house. I agreed. This was the law I was talking to. So when the man showed up I met him outside. We started to talk in the cop cruiser. He asked me if I had driven a man named Rick (not his real name) on Saturday night. I said no. Saturdays was my day off in Banff. The Taxi company I worked for had me working shift work. I knew the man he was asking me about, he was a drug addict. Cocaine and crack. I asked what he did. The officer told me he used me as an alibi, that I drove him home late that Saturday evening. This was a lie. I did no such thing, like I said it was my day off. The cop then told me the boy was accused of breaking into a young womens house and brutally raping her. Fuck this is awful I thought, and the fucking rapist used me as his alibi, and now he is missing. Fuck. The cop gave me his number. I lost the card.
A month later my girlfriend got pregnant and I moved from the beautiful Rockys to evil, dark, old, and ugly Edmonton. This is were my girlfriend lived. I started driving a taxi in Edmonton, were I am known as the youngest driver in the city. Yes I am also a young father, but a good one. So I’m driving a cab in this shit hole of as city when, on my way home from a long night shift I drive by a couple of people. Even though I had just refueled, and I was on 107 ave (prostitute haven) I stopped for the two, it was very cold. When the two got in I asked were they were going, The guy told me to drive east, I asked for a exact address. He just told me to keep moving. The women he was with was a crack whore. They both appeared to be sketched out. Them the guy asked me if I ever lied in Banff. I said yes and turned to have a better look at this guy who knew me. It was him the dirty Rapist mother fucker. I was shocked, and a little frightened, he was with another women. Then I remembered you can’t rape a crack whore. ahhahahahaahah. Jokes aside this guy was wanted for raping a girl brutally. I told him he was in big trouble, and he asked me why. I said you know why. Then the whore started yelling ” you’ re going the wrong way you’re going the wrong way” I don’t think she knew that this guy was sought after by the police, whores don’t care. I wasn’t going the wrong way I was moving toward the cop shop, I wanted to get this fucker. But the whore kept yelling and yelling, like only a crack hooker can. She asked to be let out I stopped the two both got out. The rapist got away . Fuck. How is it that I found the mother fucker on the streets by accident before the cops? That higher power works in mysterious ways.
In The Palm of Your Hands
What a cold night it was in the bitter sweet city of Edmonton. There is little to talk about what happened in the cab tonight so I am going to resort to writing about other people stories. These people shared their stories with me and I thank them, they know who they are.
First there was this nice little lady named Briana, she is a bartender. She works in a bar on Stony Plain road so you know its a dirty story. She told me that there is this weirdo who hangs around the bar, well the other night he was looking for some attention. He went outside and jerked off behind a van. That’s pretty strange but he used his phone to video tape it and then ran around showing to all the waitresses. Gross. The worst part is (other then the whole thing) I bet you I’ve driven him. Aaaaaa.
Then there was Lanky and Danko, these two are a couple of buddy’s I picked up on white ave. They were cool, so I started sharing some Taxi cab events with them. I told them about the whore who sucked some dudes dick in the back seat. Its a rough story. Then they told me their taxi sex secrets. Danko was in the back of a Yellow Taxi, when the girl he was with said she could not go over to his house. Well, Danko couldn’t go home without a happy ending, so he asked her to jerk him off in the cab. The Chicky had no problems giving him a hand job in the back seat of some cab, but she was left with a hand full of cum. He told me that she held it in the palm of her hand the whole way home. Good Girl. O but Lankys story was dirtier, He got a blow job in the back of a Capital taxi, the girl got the kid off, but she didn’t swallow, o no, Lankys cum is probably on the back of your pants, well, that is if you ever took any taxi. After the girl got out lanky stayed in the car, the cab driver who according to lanky was an out of towner applauded our young hero. Some Taxi drivers enjoy a live sex show. I don’t think that their customers enjoy rubbing their asses on a seat covered in seamen though. So next time you take taxi ask the driver if the seats are clean, or better yet take a bus. I’m kidding These are other kids horror stories bare with me. They had others and most people do.
Tonight there was one weird guy in the back of my cab, he was with this bad ass little lady who just could not get over the fact that the man in the back seat was Jesus, yes ladies and gentle men I drove Jesus tonight, he was from Rio In Brazil, and yes he was amazing. The only problem with Jesus was that the girl that loved him so much she paid me to drive him home instead of letting him stay the night, that’s why Jesus was a virgin until he died.
I also drove a women who said she did not believe in God, I asked why. She told me her friend was murdered. The murderer was the victims family member, my fare could not understand how God could let something like that happen, who knows if God is real, but if he or she or whatever it is real it just doesn’t give a flying fuck about anything. Especially humanity, at least on earth. But maybe one day whatever it is will. All you can really do is wait and see.
Blow The Pain Away
Saturday night is tomorrow, tonight was Friday. Aaaa what a shit show, the money was reasonable, but the tips were shit, not from everyone but lots of people sucked. The few that did tip me are all going to heaven.
Quite night in the cab, and out to tell you kids the truth. There was one women she was insane. I picked her up not far from the Transit Hotel, bad area, but what do you do? She needed a ride to Fort Saskatchewan, a decent sized trip. So we are on our way, we hit the Yellow Head and start moving east. When we reached Victoria Trail the women debated weather we should turn toward 118ave so she could score some crack. It’s her decision to make not mine so I listen. She asks me if she could use my cell phone I say yes. She dials the bastard Crack dealer, he says no. Fuck. The old bitch starts to go haywire, she needs to find some Crack. She asks me if I know anyone, and the truth is I drive hundreds of drug dealers every night. Some leave me their digits and some don’t. I trow them all away. The only numbers I take are those of friends, not children killers. She needs the crack bad. She asks for the phone again. who you calling ? I ask. She tells me its a guy who tried to burn down her house, but he can hook her up with the Crack. I give her the phone. She call. Its good. The dude lives in Fort Saskatchewan. On are way she tells me to avoid the exit and keep going , she knows a short cut. So we drive on. Then she realizes there is no short cut so we have to back track to the Fort. Her fare came to around eighty dollars, she starts to bitch that it’s too much. I don’t care it was her short cut that caused her the financial distress. She says she won’t pay. So I radio dispatch and ask for the address of the closest police station. In my mind I know the bitch has Cash for the Crack dealer why shouldn’t I get paid for doing my job, and some Crack dealer mother fucker gets more then his fare share. Fuck that we start moving toward the police station. She gets scared. Then she takes out eighty bucks and pays me. She also calls me some fucked up names, but I don’t care, I even kind of like her a little more, come on she gave me eighty bucks, she can call me anything she wants as long as she doesn’t touch me. I drop her off at the dealers. She gets out angry. Who cares Crack face.
Later on I pick up these two wealthy looking men. They direct me to a 711 on 91st and 82ave. When a SUV pulls up, I get the clue. The two dudes are buying blow. Throughout a night I see lots of drugs, too many in fact. The crack dealers are lucky that I don’t report them to crime stoppers. I don’t though, I’m not a rat, but I will tell on Johns and drunk drivers. Dealers get away with a lot in Edmonton, the cops allow them to roll around pretty freely. They would rather pull over a taxi, less paper work. Drug dealers are easy to spot. They are sober, talking on a cell phone in a Asian import car. They are always cocky those dealers, but fuck them let them go to hell for all I care. So the two dudes pick up some blow, They snorted it on the way to their house, I could tell, cause if your fare is high they tip decently.
My last fare was a dealer, but not cocaine , this guy sold X, PCP, special K all those cheesy party drugs. He asked if I was a cop as soon as he got in my car, at that point I knew he was a dealer. Whatever.
O and there was a group of good people that enjoyed my ride so much that the guys said I turned them gay. Wow, I’m good and strait what an accomplishment.
Might As Well Go For A Pop Nobody Dies
Thursday night, a cold Thursday night, it was bad if it comes to money, but there is a story to be told. I met a local celebrity, mmmm his name was John Rockner,(John if you read this you know your real name), he is a modern rocker. I recognized him because he has a distinct voice, and his friends were nice so I’m shouting out to you.
O.k. you guys, tonight no crazy fares. I only made a hundred and some dollars so there wasn’t many people partying in the cold. Good for them. The people who did party drove drunk, I only say this because I saw several car accidents. The worst one was on Calgary trail. The car was sitting atop a fire hydrant. Everyone made it out except some poor girl. Her drunken boyfriend was cradling her in his arms while she tried desperately to breath. I stopped to help. I wanted to take a picture of the smashed up car, but like a dumb ass I forgot my camera tonight fuck. The cops weren’t there yet. One of the girls was on the phone with 911, the only problem was that none of them knew where they were (Drunk fucks). So I had to speak to 911 dispatch again. I told the man the address , gave the girl back her phone and left them. I have little sympathy for drunk drivers. I think it’s o.k to kill yourself, but if you put others at risk, you should go to jail. If you get in a car with a drunk asshole you are asking to be killed. You girls with dudes who drink and drive, one day you won’t make it home, and it will be your own fault. And lets say you don’t die in the accident but some poor by standard does, then the victims family should be allowed run over you while the police hold you down, what a world it would be.
I also saw a girl getting man handled by the police at Union. I could see she was an attractive girl and that’s what made it so unusual. She was trying to put her shoes on and the cop just kept crushing her head into the police cruisers hood. It looked funny, seeing a hot chick in a skirt, handcuffed, and bent over a cop car getting her face smashed into the metal, fiddling with her feet trying to put her heels on. The cop just kept kicking the shoes around trying to help her but she kept bucking him and making it more difficult. Police brutality? no mouthy cunt. I laughed and left.
One last thing, driving west on Jasper, I pull up to a red light. The guy idling in the lane next to me was passed the fuck out. At first I thought he was writing a text message but as I looked closer I realized he was sleeping. When the light turned green I got out and knocked on his window. Still there was no movement. I knocked again and again nothing, then a co-op taxi pulled up and laughed at him with me, the dude was driving a brand new BMW. Then the co-op driver called the cops. Ha, all the money in the world won’t let get him get behind the wheel of that car any time soon. Unless ofcourse the dude was a narcoleptic.
Not the craziest night but still thought provoking, somewhat.
I cut my shift short tonight because I got sleepy, I tried to buy an energy drink to help me, but it made me feel fucked up, so I went home early. Fatigue puts others in danger, because of a lack of concentration and all that shit, it’s better to stay off the road. So to all those mother fucks who don’t realize that driving drunk is dangerous, go fuck yourselves. To all you people who call Taxis Thank you.
Anti Social, No Reason
So tonight was a Saturday, a good Saturday. I made money so thanks all of you good tippers out there. It snowed a little bit, during rush hour (1pm-3pm) the cold and the snow are good for business. On Saturday nights you see a lot if stupid shit. Drunks fighting girls who should go home going to become whores, it’s sad but you know what I’m talking about. Tonight was no different, fights slobs everywhere. All my were very good though. All of them except one, I picked her up at the Shaw Conference Center, a Christmas party animal. She was over fifty, and she was wearing a skimpy dress that showed off her curves, a little to much. Whatever. She gets in and tells me an address that’s off of a hundred and eighteen ave, bad neighbourhood, whatever she did not look like a prostitute. So we move. On the way she wanted to stop and get money from the bank machine at the husky. This husky is dirty, lots of bums and crack dealers hang out there. When she steps out of my car I notice she is not wearing shoes. So in she goes bare foot. Comes back and still has no money. She promises she will have it. I don’t care, she doesn’t look like someone that would run so we continue. I drive her to the 711 on fiftieth street. She goes inside. While she is in there I spot a fancy red truck park next to me. There is a very young girl smoking an leaning against the 711 wall, outside. The dirty rig pig int the red truck solicit her for sex. I call the whore hot line and report them, only because the girl was about fifteen years old. Those men should die. I would like to tell you their license plate number but I gave it to the police, they should do something with it, we all hope. The old half naked lady comes back. No money, she throws out all the possessions in her purse, makeup and a flask. This bitch is loaded. She tells me she broke up with her old man tonight. I drive her to her address, again she leaves her shoes in the car along with her purse and flask. Barefoot she tries to get into her locked house. When she finally makes it back, she mentions that her son took her keys, we have to drive to St. Albert to the ex boyfriends house for me to get paid. I drive there, she almost falls asleep on the way, but I don’t let her, we all know how that can turn out. So we get to the boyfriends house, he is not home, she offers me a hundred bucks to brake in, I say no. Then she jumps out of the car bare foot and goes to his neighbours house to ask for the fifty dollars she owes me. She gets it, even gives me a five dollar tip, I throw her shoes and back to Edmonton I go. She was a strange half naked old lady to say the least.
That was it for fares but there is more. Tonight I picked up a couple of kids at the Y after hours dance club, its a dirty place but its open all night, and people always go there for the late night drug party’s. They live on the north side so I move in that direction. I’m on Jasper ave moving east past ninety fifth street when I see a women laying in front of a Black jeep. The diver and the Jeeps passengers are out there looking at the women. They hit her. I had never seen a pedestrian accident until tonight. The three people from inside the car were trying to move the women, she was hurt bad. They should not have been touching her. I asked my fare if I could go back to make sure everything was O.K. Even though the people who hit her were still there I thought we should check it out. Right as I pull up to the jeep the three people (a black man driving, a white dude sitting shotgun and a girl in the back) jump back into their car and leave the scene. The women is almost unconscious, and breathing very shallow. She looks homeless. I call 911. There is two other witnesses both bums and prostitutes. They know the license plate number. I report the jeep and the cops send an ambulance. I wish I had followed that car. Those bastards left that women for dead. When the rescue crew arrived they told me they might have a broken neck. I saved her life, but the criminals got away, for now. I over heard one of the witnesses say that the men in the car told them not to say a word, and I heard the witness say that the assholes kicked her after moving her to make sure she wasn’t kidding around. Poor women. I gave my statement to the police, me and my fare watched in horror as the women was lifted into the ambulance. My fare was happy I turned around, so was I. We saved her life, every other cab just kept going, fuck that bullshit. On the way to my fares house we all talked about how fucked up seeing them leave was. Sad world, but we helped save her life. The 911 dispatch guy even said I did a good job, but all can think of is those bastards in the jeep. I wish I took a picture of their faces, fuck them.
Pissed, right off your walker
Not much to say about this Friday. No whores, no junkies. I got pulled over by the police though. I was leaving fort Saskatchewan, there was a red light, I came to a rolling stop, and then made a safe right turn onto a high way. Driving along talking on the phone when the red and blue lights came at me, fast. Fuck he pulled me over, for the rolling stop. fuck. He gave me a warning, o thank God.
My first fare was a guy who stank like urine. He had a walker and he moved slowly very slowly. To the liquor store and back was his game. So I pack up the walker and we go, I get to the liquor store, take the walker out and wait. He takes forever, comes back, I packed the walker up and drive him home. When we got there he has booze but no more money, he used a credit card and paid. Then I got him his walker he got out slowly and it was over right, no the fucker left a little wet spot, fuck the whole night the taxi smelled like pee, even though I bought febreez, Fuck.
There was also this guy who just kept crying about how controlling his sister is. He actually cried tears. He was obviously depressed, I told him not to smoke crack, and to see someone professional about that depression. What’s wrong with a little Zoloft, Paxil, or any of those anti depressants.
My last fare was in the military, he was young, he just finished nailing a chick that he did not know, score. He is going to Afghanistan soon. I asked him if he was scared, he said no. He said that he’ll see when he gets there. He said he believes in the war. I don’t. the United States dragged us into it. Fuck them. Let them fight and die in vein. I liked the kid though , he was young I hope he comes back.
O there was also some chick who put her hand on my crotch while she paid. I think she was on the coke. What can you do?
Run don’t walk, or call a taxi.
D.U.I
A good old Thursday, tonight was awful in the beginning, but toward the end, it got decent. In the beginning there was a whore. I picked her up at the Johns house. He prepaid for the ride, he over paid for the ride, thirty five dollars for a twenty two dollar fare. Awesome. While he was paying with credit, asshole, he mentioned to me that he did not have sex with her. She was getting ready, she was still in the house while he paid. The dude also told me that women are fucked up, I thought sure, if you look for them using a 1-800 number. She gets in.
“South side” she tells me the exact address. The dude gets left behind. We start driving. I ask the women how old she is, she looks nineteen. She says twenty four. O.k sure, my next question was what do you do?, already knowing the answer. There is no response for a few long seconds, then she tells me “I’m a escort, except I don’t use an agency .” I tell her that’s dangerous, she doesn’t care. Then I asked if she had any crazy stories, she did. She told me that in her seven years of being a working girl she has only had five bad Dates. Number one, the dude was psychotic, she had to jump out of a moving car while some crazy mother fucker dove into a wall and killed himself. That’s probably not the whole story , but this young girl was a hooker but she wasn’t a junkie , she was sober. I believed her, to an extent. The second bad date, according to her was a guy who paid half up front a half after, except after they finished he pulled a gun on her and told her to get out. She was having a bad day that day and she told the fucker to shoot her, he asked her out on a date. She told me she went, but she had to pay for the coffee.
The third was a guy also trying to get his money back, she used a cigarette to burn one of his eyes. Aaaaaaa., The last one I can remember her telling me about was some guy who tried to rip her off, so she slashed at his throat and ran away. She told me she did not know what happened to the guy, She didn’t care. When we got to the motel she asked me for the change, the dude paid me well, but I guess I had to pay for her stories.
After that I drove two more whores. One was an ugly dirty junkie the other a young girl who did rub and tugs. They both loved their jobs. Fuck them, hahahaha for money.
There was also this girl that got in the car with this BC mother fucker. He was a coke addict rig pig. The girl was strange. She had just broken her back. She could walk. When we started moving the dude snorted some blow, whatever I didn’t look. Then she did one, I could tell, she was unable to bend over it was funny. What was even more funny was the guy tried to force the women down to his crouch fora blow job, but she screamed in pain to stop him. Almost all Rig Pigs are going to hell I hope.
Last but not least, this Chicky, young, hot and under arrest for drinking and driving. I picked her up at the cop shop. When she got in I immediately accused her of drinking and driving,But she said no, that the guy in front of her backed into her, while she was driving drunk. Her breathalyzer read over 2.0. She was drunk, I could tell she stank, but I was nice, she was crying. I would too, if I hit some fucker, totalled my new car, lost my license and had five thousand dollars in fines. I drove her home, the only problem was that the cops kept her car keys, and her home keys . We drove back to the cop shop, they towed the car across the city, her keys were in it. We drove to the impound lot it was closed. Hahahahahah, she could not believe that she had gotten caught, her parents were in Mexico, she had no choice but to go and spend the night with her ex cheating boyfriend. Let that be a lesson to us all DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE.
Dude looks like a lady
I’ve picked up my share of transvestites, But there was this one manly gal who was really out there. I was on white ave and a hundred and first street looking for a fare. In the corner of my eye I saw a flag, on the other side of the street. I also saw some massive chick sporting serious cleavage,and a small young girl. I did a U-turn or I flipped a bitch and picked them up.
The two took a minute to get in, and the car behind us starred to honk, incessantly. I never care about what other drivers do to try to piss me off. The big girl in the back wasn’t having any of it though. The car that was honking started to follow us, and it kept honking. The girls in the back seat gave me an address just off of whyte ave, they told me they would be going to a party after that. No problem. I looked back at the two. The big chick with the big tits was actually a guy. A dude with boobs and big ones at that. The car behind us was still following us and honking. The trany was getting agitated, I began to think maybe the people behind me saw that she was really a he and were being rude. Well at the next red light this trany steped out of the car and walked up to the car full of honking girls and kicked a hole in the door with her man heels. I though she was great, she jumped back in and the light turned green, we took off. The carload of girls , angry that the women kicked a hole in their precious door followed us to the tranys home address. We tried to loose them, but since I don’t break the law while driving they kept up. When we pulled up to her house she got out and stood in front of their car. The girls must have been scared, I would have been, this chick had a dick and some massive tits. They drove away.
On the way to the party they stopped at the drug store for some backing soda. Hint,hint.
Later that night I got a call from dispatch about the he she, I told them I didn’t see a thing, but I did drive a women who was once a man. Weird world when a trany kicks a hole through a door of a car filled with jealous penis envied dyke’s.
what’s your fuel?
Tonight some fucked up chick passed out completely, I picked her up at a place where you gamble, this was a big place, this couple jumped and flaged me down and stuck their really drunk friend in the back of my car. I asked if she knew her address she said riverbend, I said ok and got the fuck out of that casino parking lot, she told me to take the Anthony hendey I did . when we were on the high way I asked for her exact address she was passed the fuck out. She was a fucking blank. Druged, the money the dude gave me to drive her home, forty bucks, stank like a mother fucker like cocaine. Fuck! mother fucker, this chick pucked into her purse , I think cause the car was clean I had to wake her up to ask her her exact address at a red light , I had to inform dispatch that I had a women that I might have to jerk to get her to be conscious, at a red light I got out and opened the back door, her head fell out of the car she had rested it on the arm rest, I told her that unless she gave me an address she was going to a hospital or the closest police station. she murmured a river bend address. she pucked in her purse some more when we got there she wouldn’t get out so I went to the door of the home and rang the doorbell at three in the morning no one answered fuck. I opened her door, her head fell out, we were in an affluent area, this bitch was rich, she kept pucking, I wanted to help her she flipped me the bird, I wanted to help her she did not want it I repeated the address to her so she knew for sure where she was. I got her out by saying that if she doesn’t want my help and this is were she lives then she should get the fuck out, she got out with puke all over her and ran away, it was a cold night tonight it kind of worried me but fuck what ever. I Radioed it all in there there was little more I could do.
Looking back It could have been GHB. Girl watch your drinks.
money don’t talk,
Yawn, is the word that best describes my Saturday night. O and five hundred bucks, yes. It was a lucrative night but boring again. There were plenty of drunken boogers, but not one was interesting. Except the mooners. The two gorgeous mooners. So I was on the west end of the city when the computer rang me up at trip to the strip bar. The name was Vinnie, I was totally expecting a man, but when two good looking women came out I was pleasantly surprised . The two did not look familiar at all. I asked for the address, it wasn’t far a block or two off of Stony Plain road. No problem, it never is. When a fare enters my taxi I write down the destination in my log book. This can take up to thirty seconds or so. While I’m writing, the car behind me started honking and reving it’s engine. I don’t care, my hazards are on, and the fucking honker can go around or wait. He waited, impatiently, honking and reving. The two girls in the back were crazy though, they stood up in the back seat and mooned the men in the car behind up us. Now if your a guy and two good looking girls show you their rears what do you do. They screamed and holard with glee. Thank God that’s how you stop dudes from honking and reving their engines behind you.
I started driving, then remembered that the girls have used my car to moon others before. I did not recognize them because the last time I saw their asses was Halloween. I had pulled over for a couple in costumes, a cop and a Indian. It was after a concert at the Shaw Conference Center, hundreds of people were looking for a ride home. I picked the young attractive safe looking ladies out of the crowd of frantic flagers. As soon as they got in they loved me, because I chose them. I like gratitude, so told them that I was happy to pick them up. We drove toward their house up Jasper ave, the girl dressed as an Native Canadian asked me if I would let her smoke a joint in the car I said no, she was cool with that. I looked in the rear view mirror next, the girl dressed as a cop was in the back seat, except she was sticking her ass out the window, she was showing it off to a Superman in the car next to us. Lets just say super man was pretty excited. The Native Canadian cheered on her friend in the back seat, then she stuck her ass out the front passenger window. The man next to us did not even realize it and drove off , but the girl did not even care she mooned every car up Jasper ave. It was strange but what do you do. I gave them my number and told them to call if they ever need a taxi ride. Fucking mooners are awesome.
Another weird thing happened tonight, There is some filthy bars on Stony Plain road, and calls from most them are drunken whores and dirty dudes who live close by but are to drunk to walk. I got a call to one of these bars, when I pulled up, I could see there was a buffet set up, that was different. When the women I was sent for came into my car they were vicious, and mean, telling me that I should already know where the fuck they were going. One was worse then the others, she was sad and angry. The scuzzy bar I picked them up at was the place that their friend was having his wake. They were sad because the did not think he should have died. I sympathized, and told the three crying women they could smoke cigarettes in the car, well you wouldn’t believe it but all three cheered the fuck up, they even laughed some of the way. And that was it. other then the stinky lady from fort mac the night made me money but wrote me a shitty blog.
peace
Dead and dumb
Friday night in the big city of Shitmonton, sorry you guys no one was really crazy. Not like last night, which (I just want to let you guys know) is not allowed to happen in my cab. The only rules I have while in control of my Taxi are no sex, no drugs. Cigarettes are allowed though. O.k my Friday was bad I drove 340 Km and made three hundred and twenty dollars. That is no fucking good, but whatever lets never mind that and give out some shout outs. Shout out to the boys I picked up at west ed, you know who you are, five of you crammed in, one of you is my oldest client so far, he dose tattoos. I’m gonna give them a shout out especially, because the first time I picked the tattoo gun Slinger up, he threw up. No, not in the cab. We were making a sharp left turn, when he flung the passenger side door open and hurled. I think it was his birthday but I don’t know, but a guy that risks his neck to help me keep my car clean is a good man.
I also drove these two waitresses, bar hostesses. beer girls, you know what I mean. It was their first night working in this bar. They were both bitching about how they barley made any money in tips witch surprised me, because good looking women usually make good money in tips. I told them not to worry, it was a slow night due to the long weekend. They told me that it was lingerer night at the bar, I looked at them and they definitely weren’t wearing anything risk a. Then I asked what they made (cash wise), one said twenty three bucks the other said thirteen bucks. I told them maybe it had something to do with their Conservative clothing. They both laughed, and said that they thought they could do just as well dressed conservatively as slutty, obviously in dirty red neck Edmonton Alberta, that is not the case. I told them that culture and class are not one of Edmontons strong points, you would think that two girls that grew up in this city would have known that, but no they wore nice elegant cloths that got dirty, and of course no tips. Ha.
Most of my money was tips tonight, so thank you all you good folks. At the end of the night as I was driving home a good friend of mine, we were close to whyte ave and 99 st there was about five fire trucks and four ambulances, and ten cops cars, I thought it would be a good time for a photo op, but as we got close to the situation we realized someone was killed by a drunk driver. I’m sorry I got no pictures of it, but the dead guy on the street deserved some respect, well I don’t know if he was dead but he was sure close to God laying on that pavement, At least that’s what I felt. And that is all I have to say about this shitty poor Friday night of driving, except I forgot to do a shout out to the hot personal trainer who was all fucked up on special K, she made me laugh. Peace, o and the radio even sucked tonight, cursed fucking Friday.
Where do bad folks go when they die?
Tonight was unreal. This is my first official blog about a night in my cab. Some of this stuff could be incriminating for those involved, so just to let you (my readers) know that all the names are always changed and the addresses are never real. O.k tonight was an amazing night. No I did not make very much money, but I worked hard (Trust me)to have something good for you guys and girls to read about.
Thursday night in Edmonton is usually a basic night. There is never very much money to be made so I make do with what comes my way. First I drove a gentleman who blogs, he was a good person who paid me twenty nine dollars to get to where he wanted to, twenty nine bucks is a decent fare, and I promised him a shout out. So shout out to mm mm Grant . Russ Grant. whatever. Anyway after he got to his destination things slowed down. When things slow down, I get bored and I don’t make much money. Since it’s Thursday night I expected it. I drove some new nation people to west ed mall. Then a scientist to his hotel. He was visiting from Europe, to attend a Geo conference. He sounded very intelligent and he reassured me that global warming is real. I believe him. After that the night really quieted down, until off course around midnight, I picked up a couple downtown. A white guy and a native chic . They were on there way to Karaoke. The only thing strange about it was the bar was a real shit whole. The two looked a little higher class. On the way to the bar I mentioned how I like driving a Taxi because its super entertaining. Just then the man started to sing. “life for me is a Riverboat fantasy etc” His David Wilcox was amazing. He sang the whole song. We were still about half way there when he finished. The lady and I both applauded, I tried to compliment him but before I could even speak he busted out into a Wane Newton song, witch one, I have no Idea, but he sounded incredible, especially inside my taxi. When they got to there destination he paid me the ten dollars and tipped me two more.
The night was real slow after that a few more boring fares. Until I saw a car accident, it was a bad one the car was completely flipped over onto it’s roof. Scary. So I parked the cab and took some pictures. The accident was on Gateway and eighty second ave. The ambulance took two girls to the hospital. The weird thing about the whole scene, was that as a approached the mangled car I could still hear the gangster rap coming from inside the car. A lot of people were crowding the wreckage and ruining my photo op, so I jumped back in my ride and headed for down town.
It was last call, which is 2 am in Edmonton, and the only bar with anybody in it was the Oil city road house. As soon as I pulled up I realized that the thirteen other cabs in front of me are going to get whats left of the drunks inside so I pulled out and kept moving west on Jasper ave. Then out of nowhere a Bum jumped out behind me, I missed him but I kept an eye out on him in my rear view mirror. The Bum was running from a guy, I then watched as the young man started to beat the shit out of this bum in the middle of the road. The last thing I saw before I lost sight of the two was the bum getting a swift kick in the face. ouch.
After that I was sent to a few addresses none of which had any clients waiting for a ride. That sucks, but people call cabs for no reason sometime, or they ditch and find another way to get where they are going. I just kept moving toward the west end. I was pissed off that the night was not going to be very lucrative, when I got the call, an address off of Stony plain road. A bad neighborhood to say the least, but I have a Kid to feed so I accepted it. Carlos was his name, he needed to cash his check at the twenty four hour Money mark. No problem, this was an easy trip there and back would make me fifteen bucks, better then nothing. On the way to the Money mart we saw a hooker on stony plain road, Carlos noticed her, then asked if I would stop and pick her up. I said no, I told him if he wanted her I would stop on the way back to his place and he could get out and get her himself. You see I don’t care if the guy wants a hooker. I just won’t pick her up. It’s the “John” trying to solicit sex not me. So if a client asks for something like that I let him out of the car, he walks to the corner where the lady works, he solicits her there and then he can bring her back inside the vehicle, at that point my hands are clean. So on the way back to his house , after he cashed his check, Carlos wants to stop at a 711 for a pack of smokes. I stop, and guess who else happens to be there, the whore. I’m parked in the 711 parking lot, Carlos runs across the store front and gets the hooker to sit in the cab while he goes and buys a pack of smokes.
I tell the women, who is sitting in the back seat that I’ve seen her before, she dose not give a shit. You can tell the only thing she wants is another crack hit. Then Carlos comes stabling out of the 711 with another guy. A dirty looking fucker. The two talk outside of the car. The dirty fucker keeps pointing inside my car, the prostitute asks me who he’s talking too. Like hell if I know, but I answer “his friend”. Then Carlos come back in the car, without his dirty buddy. He asks the hooker if she could score his friend some shit (drugs), she tells him she does not do that. As I start pulling away Carlos tells the hooker that she has to get out, she did not even ask why she just shot out, like it was in her nature. I knew why he told her to leave, but I asked just to make sure. “Did you ask her to leave because your drug buddy there made fun of you”. At first Carlos denied it, but after I laughed at him he told me I was right (I’m always right). We were almost at his house when he asked me to pull into a little strip mall, I did, not Knowing exactly why. The sign on the wall said something about massage, Then I clued in. This guy wanted to get his dick sucked bad, but not bad enough to let his friends know. Unfortunately for him the rub and tug was closed. He directed me to two others, both closed. He was upset, “take me to another 711″ he said, I asked him why, he told me that the cashier asked him for ID or proof that he was eighteen and he had non, but the guy was clearly older, but still she didn’t sell him any smokes, so he wanted to see if this other 711 would. Guess what? It did. As he was coming back to the car he spotted another hooker. This one was fat, but we all know beggars can’t be choosers. He solicited her outside the car, then the two got in. “Back home?” I asked, he said “no”, take me to the park across the street. Then the hooker started sapazing saying that she won’t go out that far from where she likes to work. So Paule asked me if they could do something in the car. I told him “No”, and kept driving towards the park. I hadn’t made very much money on this fine evening though. So when he dropped a significant amount of money on the front seat I just kept my eyes on the road and turned the radio loud. That was the first time I turned a blind eye to my fare. What happened in the back seat got swallowed, I made sure of that, I also got paid more then the women working on the back seat. That’s sad and ironic don’t you think.
I dropped Carlos off next to his house and I told the hooker I would give her a ride back to the 711, Carlos paid handsomely to drive to the Money mark and back so why not. On the way back I asked the prostitute her name, she said it was Sasha, I asked her if she ever got scared she said sometimes. She was old and ugly but she was still my passenger so I was polite. I asked her if she has any children, she said yes. a 19,17, and15 year old. That made me sad. Imagine if that was your mom. I also asked her why she did not use protection, she told me it was a slow night and she needed to do what she needed to do for her next hit. O by the way most street walkers are crack heads. When I mentioned to her that Carlos was possibly HIV positive for all she knew, she told me not to talk about that On the way to 711, she realized she could score another hit so she asked me to drive her to her dealers house, it wasn’t far so I said no problem, except on the way there we stopped at a red light.”lake of fire” by Nirvana was on the radio, I started singing the chorus out loud, something I never do. It was a long red traffic light. A long enough light for her to get solicited by the car stopped next to me. Somehow this whore was able to jump from my taxi into a blue Cavalier within the red light time frame. How she knew the men in the car next to me needed a hooker baffled me, but by the end of that red light she was in another car going a different direction.
I thought to myself “I’m going home” I turned toward a gas station, still having a few minutes before I got there I turned up the Radio, One of my favorite songs was playing , the whole way home I wondered where do bad folks go when they die?
november
This is the first time I’ve used the computer to start communicating the life I have driving a taxi in the city of Edmonton. I have already been driving for a commercial company for several years. Well two. Edmonton is going through a boom. The oil industries digging up Canadian oil are producing a huge economic boost in Alberta. This boost is one of the reasons Edmonton is so unique to drive in. Right now because of the boom the city is moving, especially at night. At least, I think so, I only work the night shift.There is more bad driving done in the day then drunk driving at night, and plus the people are usually loaded, meaning it could be a fun trip with the fares inhibitions down, and a good opportunity for a reasonable tip, or it could be some crazy lunatic crack head with no money. Anyway I love it.
When I first started driving, my knowledge of the city was substantial but because the city was continuously in a state of booming turmoil things could be difficult. Prostitution is something I began to deal with, crack, addicts and dealers were other types of people I began to be introduced to. They scared me, they thrilled me and I hope they can thrill you too. These are the ways I spend my nights working the streets of the city of Edmonton.
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